Thorn Boy and Other Dreams of Dark Desire (17 page)

‘
Go down
to the forest,’ Jadrin said lightly. ‘Lie down naked in the damp
leaves and perhaps the answer to your troubles shall come to
you.’

Ashalan
laughed sadly. ‘You are oblique and rude. Only your loveliness
allows you to get away with the things you say to people.’

‘
I am
sixteen years old,’ Jadrin replied. ‘I am ten years younger than
you, and perhaps it is wrong for me to want to love you, Ashalan,
but in all frankness I do not care about what other people think is
right. Most of them are fools whose behaviour would make a demon
blush. Why should we consider their opinions?’

Ashalan
smiled. He shrugged. Together, they returned to the palace.

Jadrin sat on
a stool in the ante-chamber to the king’s bedroom and combed out
his hair. He could see himself shining like pearl and jet in the
mirror before him. His flesh tingled with the presentiment of a
delicious fear. His nervousness tasted like wine. Then,
interrupting his private reverie, something cold touched his
shoulder. It cast no reflection in the mirror before him. He gasped
and turned round quickly on the stool. There, behind him, hovered
the spirit from the turret room, malicious glee scrawled across its
indistinct features. ‘Now!’ it hissed. ‘Now! Let me in! Let me into
your soul!’

Jadrin stood
up. ‘No!’ he said, flinging out his arm. ‘I will not. You must ask
something else of me.’

‘
You
gave your word!’ shrieked the spirit angrily.

Jadrin denied
this vigorously. ‘I was in no position to make such a bargain.
Ashalan is not an evil man. I will not let you harm him. Tell me,
what else do you want in payment?’

‘
Nothing,’ the spirit spat petulantly. ‘I will taunt you and
haunt you until you do as I ask.’

‘
Then
you will have to taunt me forever, for I never shall.’

‘
Hah!’
the spirit snarled. ‘That is where you are wrong, foolish boy. You
have three days; that is all. At the end of that time, I am quite
within my rights to force myself into your helpless, mortal brain
and destroy you and the king together. We made an agreement,
Jadrin, there is no going back now. You are bound by cosmic
law.’

‘
And
surely cosmic law is no friend of evil.’

The spirit
pulsed with angry light. ‘You are hardly more than a child. You
know nothing of evil.’

‘
Perhaps
not much, but enough to know it when I see it. I am young, I know
that, but don’t underestimate me. I know for a fact that it is
always possible to wriggle out of situations like this, and I shall
find the way, you can be sure of that.’

The spirit
laughed. ‘Brave words for a catamite, Jadrin. But I concede that
you are right. You cast aspersions upon my character, but I shall
prove my honesty and integrity by saving you the trouble. As you
have guessed, there is a way to release yourself from our bargain
and it is this. If, within three days, you can learn who and what I
was on this earth, you can consider yourself free of our agreement.
However, I think it extremely unlikely that you’ll be able to do
so. In my opinion, you are far too stupid.’ It laughed again, a
cruel and spiteful sound. ‘See you in three days, my little
friend.’

In a whirl of
light, it disappeared, leaving only a trace of lingering laughter,
an unpleasant smell and a cold spot in the room. Jadrin sat down
again, his heart thumping madly. He stared at himself in the mirror
intently for some moments before appearing to come to some inner
decision. With tremorless hand, he picked up the brush once more
and ran its bristles through his hair. By the time he rose and
passed softly into the next room, the cold spot had gone
completely.

In the
morning, Jadrin awoke in Ashalan’s arms, his body trembling to the
echo of a hundred delightful pangs. The caress of mouth, the nip of
teeth, the probings of tongue and fingers, and, above all, the
invasion of spirit and body that is the most magical of all human
activities if they could but know it. Jadrin knew. He said,
‘Ashalan, I would like to visit my family,’ and the king
replied,

‘
Whatever you wish. I shall give you a white stallion to ride
home upon, a retinue of six liveried guards, gifts for your
kinfolk. Promise only that you will return to me.’

‘
Within
three days, I promise.’ Jadrin answered.

Once Jadrin
could see the sparkle of the river in the distance, which signalled
the proximity of his old home, he experienced a small, sad thrill.
If only he could live here forever beside the tumbling water with
the man he loved. That would be a life, showing Ashalan the
mysteries of this beautiful land, benevolent mysteries that he felt
the king had never experienced. However, Jadrin knew, that in
becoming Ashalan’s lover he had certainly bid farewell to his old
life forever. Ashalan would probably never see the mill-house.

Amberina was
waiting for her brother upon the road, half a mile from the house.
‘I knew you were coming,’ she said.

Jadrin
dismounted and walked beside her, leading his horse.

‘
You
have such fine clothes now,’ Amberina said.

‘
Yes. I
have brought you a gown of crimson linen, sashed with gold
rope.’

‘
Thank
you, Jadrin. Are these men your servants?’ She gestured towards the
six liveried riders following behind them at a respectful
distance.

‘
Indeed
they are. And do you see the girl riding behind them on the grey
pony? She is Psydre, the daughter of a witch from a far land. She
was bored of life at court, so I have brought her here to be your
companion.’

‘
Thank
you, my brother.’

‘
She
carries a small chest of jewels to adorn your throat and
wrists.’

‘
You are
too generous, Jadrin.’

She narrowed
her eyes and looked at him slyly. ‘If only you had not had to leave
such a large part of yourself in the city.’

Jadrin looked
at her sharply, but her eyes were twinkling with merriment.

‘
I am
glad to see you so happy,’ she said.

‘
My
happiness is not yet complete,’ Jadrin replied. ‘I think I may need
your help, Amberina.’

‘
Ah,’
said she.

Jadrin had
brought gifts for the entire household. Excitedly, they gathered
around him in the large, warm kitchen, crying out in pleasure as
the rich colours of silks and jewels spilled out over the table.
Psydre, a gregarious creature, danced around the room, flinging the
shining bolts of cloth around the servants’ shoulders. Within
minutes, they had taken her to their hearts.

Jadrin
beckoned his father aside. ‘This is for you,’ he said, and took
from his jacket a jewelled, white gold pin, which had been found
deep beneath the ground and was far more valuable than all the rest
put together.

Skimblaze
looked at it thoughtfully as it lay in his son’s outstretched palm.
‘No,’ he said. ‘I cannot take it, Jadrin. I virtually sold you, my
only son and the first-born of she whom I loved above all things,
to pay off the miserable debts of my weakness. You owe me nothing
but scorn.’

‘
On the
contrary,’ Jadrin replied smoothly. ‘I owe you everything,
father.’

Skimblaze
smiled ruefully, but let Jadrin pin the jewel onto his jacket. ‘And
did you spin the gold?’ he asked.

‘
In a
fashion.’

‘
Oh, my
son!’ Skimblaze, unaware of all that had happened to Jadrin in
Ashbrilim, drew him close, but one thing he was sure of in his
heart; the boy he held belonged now, wholly, to another
man.

In the
evening, Jadrin and Amberina stole away from the impromptu party
that was raging in the house in celebration of Jadrin’s visit.
Neighbours had materialised from miles away to congratulate Jadrin
on his good fortune. Now, brother and sister walked hand in hand
down to the riverside, where the long shadows fished the water’s
surface and balls of flimsy flies hung, dancing, in the dusk.

‘
You
seem taller,’ Amberina mused aloud.

Jadrin did not
answer. He lifted the velvet bag from around his neck and tipped
out the quartz onto his palm.

‘
Ah
yes,’ Amberina said, ‘I still have mine. Was it useful?’

Jadrin told
her just how useful it had been, and also the situation he had got
himself into because of it. ‘Perhaps,’ he said, ‘if I’d refused the
spirit’s offer, Ashalan would have come to love me even though I
couldn’t spin straw into gold.’

‘
Do you
really think so?’ Amberina asked dryly, in a voice far wiser than
her years.

Jadrin
shrugged. He did not really know. ‘Now, I have to learn the
spirit’s name, its identity, but how?’

‘
Perhaps
in the forest...’ Amberina gestured across the lazy
water.

Jadrin
wrinkled his nose. ‘That is why I have come home, I suppose.’

‘
There
is a place in the forest,’ Amberina said, ‘where the spirits
gather, they that will not leave this earth or who are held here by
the cruelty of their souls and their love of carnal things. You
must go to this place, all pathways lead there, to see what you can
learn, but it will not be easy. They can smell a living heart from
miles away and will scatter if they sense you or, worse, attempt to
possess you.’ She sighed. ‘It’s not much, but I don’t know how to
advise you other than that. Naturally, I will come with you if you
want me to.’

Jadrin took
one of her white hands and pressed it against his face. ‘You are
more help to me than you know, but how we’ll be able to conceal
ourselves I just don’t know. It seems hopeless.’

Amberina was
just about to answer, when they were disturbed by the unmistakeable
sound of low chuckling coming from the bushes beside them. The
branches shook and separated to reveal the slim form of Psydre, the
witch’s daughter. She stood up, still laughing and pulling twigs
from her hair. Amberina and Jadrin drew closer together in
surprise. ‘There are ways and means to everything,’ she
announced.

Jadrin
bristled. ‘Spying being one of them, I suppose?’

Psydre shook
her dark, wild head and smiled with her red, red mouth. ‘I wasn’t
spying. I just overheard. Couldn’t help it, although I must
confess, I am surprised to learn that it wasn’t you who spun the
straw into gold. Does Ashalan know of this?’

Jadrin growled
and Amberina laid her hand fearfully on his arm.

‘
Hush
now,’ Psydre said sweetly. ‘I can help you.’

‘
You?’
Amberina sounded sceptical. ‘Why should you want to?’

‘
What a
suspicious little thing you are!’ Psydre exclaimed. ‘I don’t mean
you harm. You can trust me.’

‘
As I
did the spirit in the turret?’ Jadrin reminded her.

Psydre waved
his comment away with a careless hand. ‘Poosht!’ she said. ‘Come on
now: listen to what I say. I can help you and I do not lie. Your
sister is right, Jadrin. You must find the desecrated shrine, where
the spirits congregate to emulate the ways of men. If you walk
there in your flesh, you have no chance at all. No, you must leave
it behind you.’

Jadrin
laughed. ‘Fine. I’ll kill myself then to be able to spy on the
spirits. Such action seems a little extreme.’

‘
Do you
know nothing?’ Psydre asked. ‘I can help your soul leave your flesh
and be able to come back to it as many times as you like. It’s a
simple art and one that is taught to all where I come
from.’

Jadrin was
still a little sceptical but Amberina confirmed Psydre’s words by
saying that she too had heard of such abilities. ‘We have nothing
to lose,’ she said.

‘
You
don’t,’ Jadrin replied, rather frostily, but he agreed to let
Psydre help him.

Well-guarded
are the arts of the witch-women of the east. Jadrin hardly knew
what was happening to him other than Psydre’s soft, compelling
voice seemed to lure him into infinity. She had made him lie down
on the damp grass and had stroked his limbs, murmuring in a
sing-song voice until he was nearly asleep. Then came a sharp tug
upon his spirit. For a second, he seemed to hover between sleep and
waking, before leaping up with a yelp as if pulled roughly to his
feet.

Psydre was
smiling up at him. ‘You see?’ she said.

‘
Perfectly!’ Jadrin replied. ‘So what?’

‘
So look
down at your feet, young magician.’

There, on the
grass, lay the body of a pale young man, eyes closed, perfectly
motionless. Jadrin recognised it as himself. He was free. His soul
was really out of his body.

Amberina was
on hands and knees, stunned, squinting at the spectral form of her
brother’s soul whom only Psydre could see with any clarity.

‘
Go now,
Jadrin, quickly, before the moon rises,’ Psydre said. ‘When you
want to return, merely think it so, and you will be back within
your flesh.’ She patted the ground beside her. ‘Come Amberina and
sit with me. Your brother must go alone. We shall have to keep each
other company while I weave a protection around his body. After
that, perhaps we can gaze into the pool together for some
moments...’

Jadrin moved
away from them, downstream, where he crossed the water and so
ventured into the trees.

It was nearly
morning by the time Jadrin came once more to the widest path that
led out of the forest. Although he did not truly need to follow it,
he was enjoying the freedom this astral movement afforded him. When
the trees opened out upon the banks of the river, he thought
himself back to flesh, and sat up as if waking from a dream, with
stiff limbs and an aching back. Amberina and Psydre had returned to
the house hours before, confident that Psydre’s power was strong
enough to protect the corporeal part of Jadrin left beside the
river. Above the trees, behind him, the sky was flushed with pale
dawn. Jadrin walked to the mill-house and let himself inside. On
the kitchen table, he found a bottle of wine, which he took with
him to the best parlour. Sprawled out in his father’s favourite
chair, he drained the bottle. By the time the servants were
stirring, he was dozing, half drunk.