This is the End (Book 2): Not Dead Yet (10 page)

I stared at her wide eyed through a mouthful of food.  I purposely shoveled enough in that my cheeks puffed out so I wouldn’t have to participate in the conversation.  If I put my two cents in, we’d be going to the coast.

My eyes bounced back and forth between Penny and Earl, watching the silent power struggle happening between them.  It was touching really, this heartwarming tale of a daughter trying to find her way in the world and the father trying to shield her from its horrors.  I bet they’d made a movie about just this situation.

Chloe must’ve read my mind as she picked that moment to yank hard on my hair, nearly causing me to spit my food out.  I turned around and glared at her while trying to swallow and she just smiled sheepishly, shrugged and went back to trying to brush my hair.

Looking around, Earl was perched in a very old and worn looking arm chair, spittoon at his side; Penny and Brian were sitting on the sofa on the other side of the chair and the rest of us were scattered around the floor.  John was curled up in a sleeping bag at his mother’s feet, snoring softly and Bash and Ty had their noses buried in what looked like more maps.  Watching the two of them together, I could already tell they were going to be one hell of a duo and chuckled inwardly at the thought of the trouble they would likely get us all into.

Jack was leaning up against a wall to my right, knees pulled up to his chest and arms resting on them.  He had his hat pulled down over his eyes like he was sleeping, but the muscles in his arms kept contracting and releasing, which meant he was very much awake and considering the options.

I was so busy studying the room that I’d missed the last few bits of what Earl and Penny were saying, but didn’t really need to hear it as it was pretty damn obvious they were weighing the option of coming with us or moving north.  I hoped for their sakes they picked the latter.

Bash stood suddenly and started for where his parents and grandfather were sitting, holding a map out to him.  “Grandpa look, the airport isn’t far and dad could easily fly us to D.C.” The hope and excitement in his voice made my stomach churn and I had to set the plate of food down.

Earl looked up at his grandson’s face and took the map from his hands, lip protruding from the wad of tobacco he was still working on and peered at the page in the dim light.  The silver stubble on his cheeks cast dark shadows across his face, making his already tan skin look like wrinkled leather.  His expression gave nothing away, but the heavy lines around his down-turned mouth and furrowed brows spoke loudly of his concern for his family.  In that moment I had nothing but respect for a man that loved his family enough to die for them.

He looked up from the map, question in his eyes as his gaze settled on Brian.  I followed his look and caught Brian sigh and lean back into the sofa with an air of resignation.

“Can you do it?” Earl’s gruff question hung in the air as all eyes still paying attention focused on Brian.

He rubbed his hands down his cheeks and sighed heavily.  “Yeah. I can fly us there.  But getting to a plane and getting it gassed up before we’re all eaten is what I’m most worried about.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and let his eyes trail on each of our faces. “I don’t have to tell you how bad it is out there; this you know.  But to risk my family?  I just don’t know.”  Brian looked at the floor, letting his words sink heavy into room, settling around us all with a lead-lined embrace.

Chloe was silently and methodically stroking the brush through my hair and I found the sensation comforting.  Letting the motion focus me, I cast my eyes first to Ty, and then to Jack.

Ty was still sitting in the spot next to the one Bash had vacated and I could almost hear the wheels in his mind spinning as he mentally went over how this would play out.  The circles under his eyes seemed to grow darker as the realization that not all of us would make it onto that plane became obvious, but the acceptance of this that followed is what killed me.  He was so young to have to make life and death decisions that I would trade absolutely anything to put the world back to the way it was so he could just be a teenager.

Looking up at Brian, “What do you mean you can get us there?” I asked.

His solemn eyes found mine, “I was a pilot before this all happened.”

“Oh.” Letting that soak in, I sat up and factored in the data.  I knew what Ty knew; not all of us would make it, but it might be worth the risk if we could get some answers at the very least; save the world at best. Letting my eyes drift across the faces around me and settling on John’s still sleeping form, I made up my mind.

“I’m in.  Whatever the plan is, I’m in.” I said finally, quietly settling back into the feel of the brush working through my hair.

No one said anything after that for a while, everyone’s thoughts taking them to different places, but I could hear the fear and excitement echoed back at me through their heartbeats.

Penny picked that moment to stand, “Why don’t we talk about this in the morning, when we’ve all had some rest.”

Nodding, Earl sat up straighter.  “I’ll take first watch.  We sleep in shifts; 4 on, 4 off.”

I looked up at Jack who had stood and was stretching. “Sounds good,” he said. “Wake me when it’s my turn, please.”  He looked over at Penny, “Anywhere in particular you’d like us to sleep?”

Penny started to answer but I cut her off before she could say anything. “Actually, I’m a little too wound up to sleep, anyone mind if I take first shift?” Rolling to my knees, I stood up and felt every bone in my body creak in protest.  It was going to be a long night.

Earl looked at me and shrugged. “Suit yerself.” Pointing to the stairs, “Upstairs, end of the hall is the attic stairs.  There’s a small window that leads to the roof; give you a bird’s eye of the whole neighborhood.  Just don’t catch any attention.” He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. 

“I’ll come with you.” Jack said, walking over to me and waiting while I strapped my harness back on before we made our way up the stairs.

Without another word, we climbed the first staircase, made our way down the darkened hallway and up the second flight of stairs which opened up on the   small attic space.  There was a single window to the left of the small space and it wasn’t boarded, which made the moonlight washing over the room almost a shock to the darkness of the other levels.

Jack and I walked over to the window and I waited as he looked out for a minute or so before softly unlatching it and slowly swung the window open.  I watched as he slid first one leg, then the other over the windowsill and ducked his head out.  The moonlight was casting shadows over his face and with his hat on he looked like an old-timey cartoon burglar, which made me want to laugh, but I knew we had to keep quiet.

Once he was clear of the window, I followed him through, taking his offered hand as I pulled my leg over with the rest of me and stood.  Silently, we stood on the ledge, neither of us moving or daring a sound as our eyes adjusted to the moon’s light and we tried to look for any movement on the ground below.

After a couple of minutes, we realized all was still and there weren’t any dead around, at least none we could see, and continued around the ledge, up the slightly angled roof until we were perched side by side at the very top.  I turned around so that we were each facing a different direction and we settled in to watch.

Looking up, a few stars were struggling to be seen through the perpetual cloud of smoke still lingering over San Antonio and the cuticle shaped moon didn’t help our cause out either.  It didn’t really matter how much light there was as once my eyes finished adjusting, I was pretty pleased to find I could see just fine.  It wasn’t “Vampire/night crawler” good vision, but I could make out and identify the shapes of the trees and houses without any trouble.

Rustling to my left brought my focus to Jack.  He had apparently finished his scan of the area as his head was bent and he was pushing plastic back into a jacket pocket while pulling his lighter out of the other.  I watched as he put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it, smoke billowing out of his mouth.  The smell of weed hit me hard and fast.

“Jack!” I yelled as loud as a whisper would let me.  “What the fuck?! We’re supposed to be guarding the place and this is a good time to get high?!” I punched him half-jokingly/half-serious in the shoulder to further make my point.

He puffed a few more times, holding the smoke in as long as he could before letting out a long, slow exhale. “I function better high.” His voice was scratchy around the smoke and he handed me the joint. “So do you.”

I feigned indignity for about 5 seconds before I broke down and took the little joint from his outstretched hand.  “Fine, but only because we both know there is absolutely no one out here.”

Putting the paper to my lips, I sucked slowly; controlling the inhale so I didn’t cough.  Lungs full, I let the smoke out in a cloud on the exhale and handed the joint back.  I pulled the rifle with a scope from the harness on my back and laid it across my lap as the drug made its way through my blood stream.

I let the heaviness seep into my bones and dropped my shoulders.  Running my fingertips lightly across the rough grain of the shingles below me, I curled and uncurled my toes in my shoes and stared into the night.  The faint glow from the moon made the trees look ghastly and ominous in the dark, like they were creeping closer to attack.  Turning my focus the ground below, I let the stillness take over. 

I was facing the front of the house which gave me a great view of the bodies littering the pavement in the street and the few cars that had been left behind.  This neighborhood had obviously either been deserted or taken down when the virus hit as it had the least amount of carnage I’d seen yet.  It almost looked like a normal, quiet cul-de-sac. 
Almost
. I was quickly learning that appearances were hardly ever what they appeared and knew if I got too complacent, that was when all hell would break loose. Murphy’s Law.

I soon grew bored with staring at dirt and pavement standing silently below me and turned to look at Jack.  He was staring at the backyard and the woods surrounding it with an intensity I’d never seen before.

Wanting to ask him what he was thinking, the muscles in his jaw were working hard and I refrained.  We’d said all we needed to say and still nothing had changed. Turning my gaze back the street below, I shifted my weight and sighed quietly.

“Wish I had my guitar.” Jack’s words were so quiet I almost missed them.  I didn’t miss the sadness and longing in his voice, though.  Without looking, I reached over and took his hand in mine.  It was moments like this when it was hard not to think about the little joys we’d had in our lives that we would never have again.

“What do you miss most?” His question caught me off guard and I struggled to find an answer.  I didn’t have one.  I honestly couldn’t think of anything that meant so much to me before this all started that I actually missed it that much.

In reality, there hadn’t been much for me to miss to begin with. “I guess I miss waking up in a bed with the sunlight streaming through the curtains only to realize it’s Sunday and I don’t have to work and rolling over to go back to sleep.”

Jack chuckled and I looked over to see him nodding. “Yeah, I miss that too.” He pulled his hand from mine and stroked my cheek.  “Although I’d enjoy it more with you there.”

A chill ran through me from where the callouses on his fingertips pulled at my skin.  It was also his words and the way he said them; no one had ever said anything like that to me and meant it before. I was at war with myself over simultaneously wanting to kiss him and push him off the roof before I got him killed. I didn’t say a word.

Seeing my lack of response, I felt his irritation and disappointment as he pulled his hand back and looked away.  The silence was weighing down on us but I just didn’t have anything to say.  I was trying so hard to convince myself that any affection we had for one another was strictly a result of circumstance, and had the world not been ending, we’d be in a very different situation.  Hell, it wasn’t likely we’d have ever met at all.

“Jack,” I started softly and pleadingly.  I wanted so badly to open up to him but just couldn’t for the life of me and I knew it was going to drive the only real friend I’d ever had away.

“Don’t, Angie.  It’s fine.” His words were cold and hurt worse than any wound I’d ever had.

I wanted to plead my case, but my thoughts were hazy through the weed and I couldn’t find the words.  Fuck, I wasn’t even sure what I would say if I could find words.

“I promise you,” Jack started again, determination and resolve making his voice rough. He grabbed my chin and turned my face towards his. “I promise you, when this is all over and we make it to the other side, we
will
have this conversation.” The moonlight glinted off his eyes, making the gold flakes nestled inside the hazel sparkle like a treasure I needed to pilfer.  For as hard as his expression was, there was something else there, something way more scary than the anger that had pulled his mouth into a tight line and his eyes narrow until the only thing left was those golden flakes.

I put my hand around his wrist still holding my chin. “You’re the first real friend I’ve ever had.  Thank you for that.” I smiled at him and watched the emotions play out across his face.

Shaking his head, he chuckled softly.  He pulled my hand off his wrist, kissed the back of it, and then settled our clasped hands in my lap next to my rifle. “You kill me,” he said softly, eyes back to surveying the ground below.  The hair on the back of my neck stood at his words.  I knew he was joking, but a huge and scary part of me wondered if that was exactly how this would end.