This Is My Brain on Boys (13 page)

W
hat was the point of having a centrifuge, Addie wondered, if school rules prevented you from spinning down real, human blood? Because measuring her test subjects' hormone levels would have made this project so much easier.

She sighed and tapped her fingers on the black soapstone table in the Whit as she reviewed the evidence from the experiment so far. According to their before-and-after lists, Lauren showed no more interest in Kris than she did in Alex. Both were “nice.” Alex even got an upgrade to “funny,” whereas Kris was holding steady at “cute.”

Granted, they'd participated in only two experiments—the baseline and the agave worms—but at this stage Addie
had hoped for a flicker of admiration for Kris's daring, some sort of indication that Lauren's PEA levels were spiking in his presence.

It took Tess less than twenty-four hours to fall for Ed, though, to be fair, adrenaline was already coursing through her body from the sprained ankle and the storm.

If only Addie'd had the administration's permission to use a really daring activity like skydiving or extreme skiing. That would totally pump out the norepinephrine, with its love-like sweaty palms and beating heart. But there were those stupid school rules again. Also, money.

“Staring slack-jawed at the spreadsheets never won Crick and Watson a Nobel Prize,” Dex said, flipping on the lab faucet with his elbow and washing his hands of salt water.

“True. Their brainstorming was done on paper napkins.” Addie closed the laptop with its disappointing results. No doubt, Dex had already interpreted the data as more proof of defeat.

He flipped off the faucet and snatched a brown paper towel. “Don't look so glum. Nikolai Tesla was considered a failure for most of his career and he was brilliant.” He tossed the towel in the trash. “Like you.”

What was that supposed to mean? “I haven't failed. I just need more time to institute an instant attraction.”

Dex smirked. “I love it when you contradict yourself
in one sentence. If you need more time to create an instant attraction, then you are definitely in trouble.”

She fumed. Her cranium could have exploded, she was so frustrated with his constant negativity. He was such a Debbie Downer.

“Instead of bad-mouthing the project, why don't you be useful and give me some suggestions?”

“Okay, here's an idea. Let's call this project what it is—dead in the water—and use my crabs. There's still time to switch. I'm sure the Athenian Committee will understand when you explain that, when it came to the brain, unfortunately you got in over your head.” He bent over, killing himself with laughter.

Addie hopped up so fast she almost knocked over the stool. “That's it, Dex. You are the Worst. Lab. Partner. Ever.”

“A
www.”
He stuck out his lower lip. “Is someone having a bad day?”

She hated when he talked to her in a baby voice and came
thisclose
to actually slapping his smug pink face when her phone binged.

Ed.

All set up in the gym. Email + fax sent. Good thing I'm already in college 'cause this could get me kicked out, big time.

Right. She took two deep breaths to redirect the
oxygen. Priorities, Addie, she reminded herself silently. Concentrate on what's important.

Thank you soooo much!!!!!
she texted back. And it was true
.
She couldn't have planned this without him.

You ready?

Yes! Thx. On my way.

Hope this works,
Ed texted back
. I'm out of ideas.

She nodded to the screen on her phone
.

Me 2.

The Academy's legendary rock wall took up one whole side of the gym. At forty-six feet high and a hundred feet wide, with a twenty-foot overhang that required climbers to crawl upside down, to call it formidable would be an understatement. It had been designed by Günter Hammelsmith, a Swiss mountaineer and Academy alum who, unfortunately, plunged to an early death while attempting to paraglide off Mount Everest to the Indian Ocean.

It was rumored that Günter had been born genetically devoid of fear, which was obvious to anyone who had attempted to climb the wall. That's why the Academy students had nicknamed it The Beast.

And today it was Experiment #3.

Lauren and Kris were already strapped into their harnesses and tying on their shoes when Addie rushed into the gym, breathless. She'd made the mistake of swinging
through the cafeteria to grab some lunch, only to realize she'd forgotten her ID in the lab, where she learned from Dr. Brooks that Dexter had already left for the gym. Which meant she was late
and
hungry.

“How nice of you to put in an appearance,” Dex said, not looking up from his computer, where he was inputting baseline information.

She ignored him and went over to Lauren and Kris to offer a hand with the harnesses.

“These are the ugliest things ever,” Lauren whined. “They're like leather diapers.”

“You ever climb a rock wall before?” Kris asked, hopping up and down to test his shoes.

She gave her shoelace a particularly violent tug. “No. You?”

“Uh-huh. And I think you'll appreciate the support when your feet fly off the top rocks. Thirty-five feet is a long way down.”

Lauren glanced toward the ceiling. “No freaking way. I'm agoraphobic.”

“Agoraphobia is fear of open places,” corrected Addie, who'd been quietly observing this exchange with intent interest. “Acrophobia is fear of heights.”

“Whatever,” Lauren answered. “I'm not going up there.”

Carl Eldred, an impossibly fit teacher, bald with
muscles the size of cantaloupes, bounded from the gym office, clapping his hands. “All right, people. Let's go over the ground rules before we get started.”

Addie took Lauren's and Kris's “before” lists, which they had dutifully completed without having been asked, and craned her neck to catch a better glimpse of Kris, who was handily maneuvering the ropes. His gastrocnemii were bulging today, undoubtedly due to the strenuous physical labor from being part of the grounds crew. That would also explain his firm triceps and enlarged deltoids.

Her heart did a little flutter. Which reminded her. “The cardiac monitors!”

“Another task of yours I completed. The straps are on their wrists and synched.” Dex called up an app that showed Kris's heart beating at a calm 63 BPM and Lauren's at a relatively high 82.

“Why is hers so elevated?” Addie asked.

Dex smiled to himself, like a bird preening his own feathers. “Perhaps because she's in my presence?”

“You're not her type,” Addie shot back, still smarting from the way he'd put her down back in the lab. “She's attracted to boys with way more testosterone.”

His feathers folded. “Excuse me for dabbling in a little self-deprecating humor.”

“Excuse accepted.”

Carl was winding down his spiel. Addie went over to
stop him before they took another step. Literally.

“Thank you so much,” she gushed, as if his instruction had already saved their lives. “I know you have another class after this and you probably want to grab some lunch, so we'll take it from here.”

“What?” he asked. “Leave?”

“Yes. We're fine. You can go.”

“Can't do.” He crossed his arms and widened his stance. “I've got to be here when newbies are on the ropes. School orders from our insurance carrier.”

She took out her phone, called up a group email that appeared to be from Dr. Brooks and Headmaster Foy, and showed it to him. He gaped at it for a second. “This is completely out of the ordinary. I could be sued!”

“There's a waiver in your office printer waiting for your signature,” Addie said. “It frees you of all liability.”

“I'll have to read it myself. Don't do anything until I give the okay.” He held up a finger of warning and then marched off.

“Addie,” Kris said softly.

She turned and their eyes met. They had a connection now. She could sense their growing bond in the deepest recesses of her ventromedial prefrontal cortex. The near plane crash, the shark, the late-night ice cream in her room, even the bogus agave worms, had trained their synapses to release neurochemicals on sight. This was a
phenomenon she'd researched, of course, and observed from the sidelines as Ed and Tess's friend. But those situations couldn't compare to actual, thrilling experience.

“Addie,” he said again.

She startled. “Yes?”

“I found out something about yesterday. We have to talk.”

“We are talking.”

He did that half grin thing of his.

“Alone.”

“No.” Lauren shook her head.

“What?” Kris asked, spinning around to look at her. “Why can't Addie and I have a moment alone?”

He said
a moment alone
. Addie felt her PEA surge!

“I just want her to understand that I am not climbing that.” Lauren pointed to the wall. “It's too dangerous.”

Addie said, “There are cushions.” To prove it, she jumped on the mat. “You can drop like a rock and, at most, sprain something or break a pinkie.”

“Exactly!” Lauren said. “I'm not going to risk being benched from track for this stupid experiment. Field hockey is my ticket to a full scholarship. I am not going to screw it up with a broken wrist this fall!”

Dexter sauntered over, playing the elder, more mature lab partner. “What have you done wrong now, Addie?”

“Addie hasn't done anything wrong,” Kris said. “Lauren
doesn't want to climb the wall.”

“Did you tell her that was the experiment today?” Dex asked Addie accusingly.

“I think the big giveaway might have been the harnesses and rock-climbing shoes, along with Carl giving them pointers,” Addie said wryly. Dex was always so quick to judge.

“That's an idea. What if we brought Carl back?” Kris asked. “Would you feel better then?”

“I'd feel better watching someone else climb The Beast, like one of our Dr. Frankensteins.” Lauren flicked her finger between Dex and Addie.

Dr. Frankenstein?

Dex's hand flew to his chest. “I wish I could. I do. But due to a childhood illness, I simply don't have the muscle strength. The doctors are amazed I'm as high-functioning as I am, considering my limited lung capacity.”

“Scarlet fever?” Kris asked.

“Smothering mothering,” Addie said under her breath as she went over to Lauren and unsnapped the harness. “Okay. I'll climb the wall, and once you see how safe it is, you can try.”

Lauren slipped out of the harness and kicked it to Addie. “And if I don't?”

“Then I'm afraid you can't get the extra credit for AP Bio. Not that the Ivies care about GPAs or anything.”
Addie stepped in, glad she'd decided to wear shorts today instead of her favorite skirt.

“This is so unfair,” Lauren said, slipping out of her shoes. “It's like I'm being held hostage. Damned if I do; damned if I don't.”

“You could always climb the wall with a lifeline, get the extra credit, and actually have something interesting to write about for a college essay,” Kris said, helping cinch up Addie's straps.

Dex wiggled his finger. “A moment of your time, lab partner.”

Addie shuffled a few measly steps. “Can't go any farther. Strapped in.”

“What are you doing?”

“I'm demonstrating.” She slipped on the climbing shoe Lauren had been wearing. A tad loose for her smaller feet.

“You're going to jeopardize the entire experiment. Bad enough that you ate the ‘agave worms.'” He put
agave worms
in finger quotes. “Now you're actually interacting with the participants. And by participants, I mean Kris.”

She tried tying the left shoe while standing, a bit of a challenge. “The timbre of your voice would indicate that you are growing angry. Either that or you have a cold. Which is it?”

He bent down and knotted the laces for her. “The
issue is that you're developing a thing for one of your guinea pigs.”

“A thing?” She frowned as Dex moved to her other foot like she was a helpless toddler. “What kind of thing? That is a very nonspecific term.”

He whipped back his blond bangs. “A crush.”

“As in to compress by force? I do not wish to squish Kris.” Admittedly, she was having fun with him now, playing on her reputation for overliteralism. No one expected her to joke around, and that made it even funnier—at least to her.

He stood and put his hands on his hips. “Your bias toward him is yet one more reason to terminate this experiment immediately.”

“And what about your obsession with Lauren?”

Dex paled and then recovered. “So you don't deny your feelings for him.”

“I neither confirm nor deny,” she shot back, so tired of his constant riding. Just once it would be nice if he cut her a break. “But I am completely confident that the results of this experiment remain untainted by either me
or
you.”

He scowled.

“Can we hurry?” Lauren said. “Did you say Carl has a group coming in? I need credit for this and Addie's going to take up all my time.”

“I'm good to go,” Kris said.

Dex uttered one last halfhearted protest as Addie returned to the mats and shuffled back to the wall. “The purpose of this experiment is to chart the difference between male and female reactions to certain physical challenges.”

“Like falling on your face,” Lauren said.

Addie picked up the rope tied to the other end of her harness and tossed it to Kris. “Would you mind belaying me?”

His lips twitched in amusement. “It would be my pleasure.”

“I should do it. I'm her lab partner,” Dex said.

Addie touched her palm. “Calluses, remember?”