This Heart of Mine (7 page)

“Would you like me to give you a ride?” he asked.

Even at this late date, he seemed open to getting to know her. She wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. “Sure.” She closed her laptop, slid it into the backpack she’d found at her mom’s and appropriated for her own use and stood as he took out his keys.

“It’s a sweet ride,” Tristan said.

She followed them out. “Your father won’t mind you taking me for a test-drive...”

He made a face as if it was ridiculous of her to ask. “Why would
he
care? It’s
my
Jeep.”

But Riley wasn’t convinced yet that she was good for him. Jacob had missed that nuance, and she was so excited that he wanted to share something with her, she chose to ignore it. Riley didn’t have to know about the next few minutes. It wasn’t as though she was doing anything wrong by letting Jacob show her his Jeep.

“You can sit in the front,” Tristan volunteered, and hopped into the back without using the door.

Phoenix felt a huge smile stretch across her face. This was “a moment,” she decided,
the
moment she’d dreamed about for so long. She was with her son, and he seemed okay with having her there.

As Jake started the engine and pulled out, he managed the vehicle so effortlessly she had to marvel at how grown-up he was, and that he had so many abilities.

“I owe your father a lot,” she said, and meant it.

He didn’t seem to follow. “For what?”

“He’s done a great job with you.”

The cocky grin he flashed made her laugh, so then he laughed, too.

She loved the feel of the wind blowing through her hair as they drove, sometimes a little too fast but not so fast that she had to say anything. She was glad of that.

“Have you ever driven a stick?” he asked.

“Me?”
Phoenix brought a hand to her chest. “No.” They didn’t teach that in prison. She’d missed out on so much. She hadn’t even been able to name her son. Riley had done that. But more than anything, she regretted not being there to watch Jacob grow up.

He pulled to the side of the road. “Come around. I’ll teach you.”

She shook her head. “No, I can’t. I haven’t been behind the wheel in a long time. I’ve got to get used to driving an automatic before I attempt a stick.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to try?” he said. “It’s not hard...”

“Just riding around with you is fun for me.”

“Okay,” he said, a bit reluctantly, and drove them to a muddy spot outside town to go off-road. As they lurched around, Phoenix clung to her seat belt. But he wasn’t getting too crazy, so she could enjoy it. By the time they returned to the pavement, her stomach was sore from laughing so much, and she wished she had some money she could offer him for gas.

Maybe next week
, she thought. If she had enough bracelet orders. She sold most of her bracelets for fifty dollars, but she’d considered adding some new models, with various silver beads and options to personalize them, and planned to charge seventy-five dollars for those.

“You’re a good driver,” she said.

She expected him to thank her. When he didn’t, she looked over to see him watching his rearview mirror with an expression of concern.

“What’s wrong? Don’t tell me it was illegal to do those doughnuts.” If he got a ticket while he was with her, that wouldn’t please Riley, not when he was so concerned about the kind of influence she’d be.

Jacob didn’t answer that, either. He just changed gears and sped up, so she twisted around to see for herself.

She didn’t find a police car following them—but there was someone driving so close behind them, she was afraid they were about to be rear-ended.

“What’s going on?” she asked. “Why is that guy trying to hit us?”

Jacob’s jaw tightened. “That’s no ‘guy.’ That’s Buddy.”

Fear blasted through her, wiping out all the laughter and fun.
“Mansfield?”

“Yeah.” He spoke through gritted teeth. But she could recognize the driver herself now, even with the limited view she had through the front window of his oversize truck. Buddy had changed a lot. From what she could see, he was now sporting a full beard.

“Pull over, Jake,” she said.

“That wouldn’t be a good idea,” he responded.

“Why?” Tristan shouted. “He’s gonna crash into us!”

Phoenix was too focused on her son to explain. “You have to let me out.”

“No way,” Jake said. “That’s what he wants. Then he could do anything.”

This was so dangerous. She was terrified that Jake or his friend would get hurt—because of her. “Stop now. Please!”

Her son’s eyebrows jerked together. He was obviously thinking fast, trying to decide the best course of action. But she just wanted to get him and Tristan out of this situation as soon as possible, before something tragic could occur. “What will you do?” he asked, sounding torn.

“Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

“Against someone like that?”

Buddy tapped their rear bumper, giving them a small jolt.

“I don’t want you in the middle of this!” Phoenix cried. “Do what I say! Now!”

“No!” he snapped, suddenly adamant. But they’d reached town. He had to brake at the light, so she released her seat belt and jumped out, not even trying to take the backpack that held her laptop and purse.

“Mom!” Jacob tried to stop her but she slipped out of his grasp.

“Get out of here!” she yelled back. “Go home!”

6

R
iley had just finished mowing the lawn and was leaning against the kitchen counter, cracking open a cold beer, when his cell phone went off. Leaning over, he slid it toward him so he could see who was trying to call him.

As he’d expected, it was Jacob.

“’Bout damn time,” he muttered. His son had chores and homework to do before school tomorrow. “There you are,” he said after pressing the talk button. “Where’ve you been? I thought you were going to drop Tristan off and come home after you picked up a coffee.”

“Dad! You got to come now!”

At the panic in his son’s voice, Riley slammed down his beer, which splashed all over his hand. “What’s going on? What’s wrong, Jake? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, but...”

Although he couldn’t be sure, it sounded as if his son was crying, and that nearly paralyzed him with fear. He hadn’t heard Jake cry in a long time. “Did you get into an accident?” He rinsed off his hand and grabbed his keys. “Are you hurt?”

Jacob cleared his throat, obviously struggling to get the tremor out of his voice. “No. But...Buddy saw us and was...and was acting crazy. So she jumped out. Then he veered toward her. It didn’t look like he hit her hard, but she fell. And now she’s bleeding!”

He was speaking so fast he was leaving out pertinent details. “Who’s
she
?”

“Mom!”

Phoenix?
Riley was at the front door, but at this revelation, he paused. He couldn’t help feeling betrayed, as though they’d held some kind of secret meeting. “What were you doing with her?”

“I ran into her at Black Gold, and I...I just wanted to give her a ride in my Jeep.”

Riley could easily see that happening. Jake was so excited to have his license, so damn proud of that old Jeep. And of course, Phoenix would never refuse his offer.

He threw open the door and hurried outside. “Where are you?”

“At the corner of Sutter and Kennedy, just as you come into town.”

“I’m on my way.”

“She fell into a ditch, Dad. I think she hit her head on a rock, but she won’t let me call 9-1-1. Tristan says I should do it, anyway. I would but she doesn’t like him to even mention it. And she keeps trying to get up.”

Riley climbed into his truck, fired the engine and threw the transmission into Reverse. “Where’s Buddy now?”

“Gone. He took off as soon as he did it.”

“Sit tight,” he said. “I’ll be right there.”

The drive took only a few minutes, but it felt like forever. Jake’s Jeep, when he finally found it, was parked off the road, halfway in a field, as if he’d pulled over and stopped wherever he could. Next to it, Riley saw Jake and Tristan leaning over someone else, who had to be Phoenix, although they were blocking his view.

Riley left his truck next to the Jeep and hopped out.

Jake met him before he could even round the back bumper. “I’m glad you’re here. She’s hurt, but she says it’s not bad, that head wounds bleed a lot.”

Riley didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say until he’d seen her injuries.

“I’m okay.” Phoenix waved him off when she caught sight of him. “I told Jake there was no need to bother you. I’m just a little scraped and bruised, and embarrassed to have caused a scene.”

She’d hit her head, all right. There was blood running down the side of her face. Jake pressed her back when she tried to get to her feet. Riley got the impression he’d been doing that since it happened.

“What do you think, Dad? Shouldn’t she go to the hospital?”

“There’s no need for that,” she said.

Riley crouched beside her and examined the gash above her temple. He was no paramedic. He wasn’t sure how deep it was or if she needed stitches. It was even possible she had a concussion, but she seemed coherent, and that was a good sign. He’d seen a friend get hit pretty hard during a football game in high school and could still remember how he’d repeated himself over and over and babbled on about strange things that weren’t even taking place.

Phoenix wasn’t doing any of that.

“What happened?”

“I told you...” Jake started, but Riley cut him off.

“I’d like to hear her tell it.” He wanted her perspective, but he also thought this might be a good way to judge whether or not she was thinking as clearly as it seemed.

“It was Buddy,” she said. “He was trying to run Jake off the road to get him to stop, and I was afraid...I was afraid he’d wind up causing an accident. So I got out, but it was just as the light turned green, which gave Buddy the chance to gun his motor and come straight at me. I jumped into the ditch, so he didn’t actually hit me and I...fell awkwardly and banged my head, I guess.”

“Then he took off?”

She nodded, giving him a wan smile. “I’m sorry about this. I never intended to put Jake in danger. We were only taking a ride in his Jeep.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said gruffly, so angry with Buddy that he could hardly speak. He could understand the terrible loss Buddy had suffered. He wasn’t unsympathetic to that. But Buddy had no right to drag the past into the present, to act as judge, jury and executioner. Phoenix had been through due process and served her full sentence.

“It sort of is,” she insisted, blinking back tears. “I knew he might have it in for me. He—he sent me a few letters, so it isn’t as if I was completely unaware. But I never dreamed he’d do anything to threaten Jacob or anyone else. To be honest, that never crossed my mind.”

“I’ll deal with Buddy,” Riley said. “But first, I’d like you to see a doctor, even if it’s not at the hospital.”

She touched her face. When there was more blood than she expected, she wiped her hands on the weeds and dirt to avoid getting it on her new clothes. “I’d rather go home,” she said. “I can make it.”

She started to stand, and Riley tried to help her, but she flinched when he took her arm and nearly fell back. “You’ll get blood on you,” she said, using the Jeep to support her weight. “You should take Jacob and Tristan home. I keep telling them they need to go in case Buddy comes back, but they won’t listen because they think I’m really hurt.”

She
looked
hurt. And she wasn’t very steady on her feet. She tried to disguise her wobbliness by leaning into the vehicle, but Riley could tell how shaken she was.

“And what will
you
do if he comes back?” he asked.

“I’ll hide and then keep heading home.”

“By walking.”

She wiped away the blood that was beginning to run into her eyes and looked around as if she wasn’t sure where she was or what direction she needed to go. “I’ll take my time. You know, walk slowly.”

“That’s bullshit,” he said, and addressed Jake. “Are you okay to drive?”

He nodded.

“Drop Tristan off and go home. I’ll take care of your mother.”

“I can’t believe Buddy did this,” Jake muttered.

“I’m sure he acted without thinking,” Riley said. But he planned to make sure Buddy thought about the consequences of his actions in the future.

Phoenix staggered away from the Jeep so the boys could leave, but she wouldn’t allow Riley to steady her. Every time he tried, she lifted her hands and said, “It’s okay. I’m all right.”

Jacob hesitated, still upset. “Shouldn’t I stay with her?”

“No, I’ve got this,” Riley said, and Jake reluctantly walked around to the driver’s side.

Phoenix waved to reassure their son.

Riley had to hand it to her. She was tougher than any woman he’d known. It was impressive how determined she was not to lean on him—literally or figuratively.

As soon as they were gone, Riley grabbed Phoenix’s elbow, hanging on even when she tried to avoid the contact, and guided her to his truck. “Let’s get you to a doctor.”

The second he mentioned doctor, she wrenched away from him. “No, I—I don’t need a doctor.”

“He’ll check out that cut, tell us if it needs stitches.”

“A doctor will cost money. And I...I have other plans for...for my income in the next while.”

What income? He doubted she had any, but he couldn’t say that. “Phoenix...”

“Stop,” she said. “I’ve had worse than this. This is nothing.”

Watching her closely, he could see that she was dizzy. “Do it for Jacob’s peace of mind, then.”

“Please, don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“I haven’t got the money for a doctor. I’m sure you know that.”

“
I’ll
look after the bill,” he said, but he should’ve known that wouldn’t convince her.

She edged farther away from him. Then she started down the street at a faster clip than he felt she should. “I’m okay,” she called back. “Go take care of Jacob.”

“Damn it, Phoenix.” He hurried after her. “Why do you have to be so stubborn? It won’t cost that much.”

She hadn’t bothered to turn when he spoke, so he’d been talking to her back. “It’s a waste of money,” she told him over one shoulder. “I’m fine, like I said.”

“It’s five miles to your place. You’ll never make it.”

She made no comment.

“Soon you won’t even be able to see where you’re going, what with all that blood.”

Again, she didn’t respond. She’d managed to put a little distance between them and obviously thought she was getting away. But he wasn’t about to let her go. He had no idea whether she’d make it. So he jogged after her and swept her into his arms, which wasn’t hard since she didn’t weigh much.

“Ah!” she cried. He’d startled her. She hadn’t expected that move. He guessed her head hurt, too, and being jarred hadn’t helped.

“We’re doing this
my
way,” he said, and carried her to his truck.

* * *

Phoenix felt like throwing up. The pain, coupled with a heavy dose of embarrassment and regret, were getting to her. She never should’ve gotten into Jacob’s Jeep. Riley wouldn’t want to let Jake spend any time with her if he wasn’t safe in her company. That was all she could think about as she kept wiping the blood streaming from somewhere near her right eyebrow in an effort to keep it from staining the upholstery in Riley’s truck. She’d long since given up trying to save her new clothes.

Riley looked grim as he drove. She could all too easily imagine what he was thinking. That he’d known it would be a nightmare to have her come home. That she should’ve gone anywhere but here. That she had no right to ruin his life a second time. And, worst of all, that Jacob was indeed better off without her.

Too bad she didn’t feel well enough to change the situation. She’d have to wait it out and hope she’d still be allowed to communicate with Jacob on Facebook, and maybe go to his games, after this was all over.

When they came to a stop at the only other light in town, Riley glanced over and must’ve seen that she was fighting a losing battle with the blood. She had nothing to wipe it with, so he took off his T-shirt.

“Here. Use this.”

She averted her gaze so she wouldn’t see his bare chest. Just accepting the T-shirt seemed too intimate. If she’d had a choice, she would’ve refused it, but the damn bleeding wouldn’t stop.

Closing her eyes, she pressed the soft cotton to her head and then rested against the window to help keep it in place.

“You okay?” he asked as they parked in front of a house she didn’t recognize.

She didn’t bother to answer. She wasn’t okay, but that wasn’t entirely due to her injuries. She was more upset and disappointed than anything else. “Where are we?”

“Dr. Harris’s. It’s Sunday. We’re not going to catch him at his office.”

“We can’t bother anyone at home!” she protested, but Riley was already getting out of the truck.

“Damn it,” Phoenix muttered as he hurried to the door—and felt even worse when the doctor answered, looked out at her and nodded to Riley. She could tell from the expression on Riley’s face that she was going in.

When he came for her, he didn’t help her out, as she’d expected. He carried her again, only this time it was worse because he was bare-chested. She had his shirt wadded up in her hand.

She could feel his warm skin against her cheek, so she tried to move her head away from him. But that hurt so much, she couldn’t manage it for long, and he seemed to grow impatient with her attempt to avoid contact, because he tightened his grip so she couldn’t manage it at all.

“You took a hard knock,” the doctor said as they entered the house.

“It’s not bad,” she said.

He motioned Riley through to the kitchen and followed closely behind them. “Let’s take a look.”

The doctor pulled the bloody T-shirt away the moment Riley sat her at the table. “We’ll have to clean you up before we can tell what we’re dealing with.”

She steeled herself against the pounding in her head, which was getting worse now that the shock was wearing off. “It’s just a little cut.”

“I’m guessing that little cut needs a couple of stitches,” he said drily.

“A butterfly bandage will do. Then I’ll get out of your house. It’s Sunday. I’m sure this isn’t what you want to be doing.”

“Relax,” he said. “It shouldn’t take long.”

Even if it went quickly, she had nothing to look at other than Riley, who stood nearby, clearly unhappy, with his arms folded over his chest.

The doctor cleaned her wound and then deliberated as to whether he’d stitch it. She hadn’t seen a man in any state of undress for so long that she was tempted to stare at Riley. So she did her best to focus on her feet, her lap, the floor, the doctor’s everyday clothes, especially the house shoes he wore. In spite of that, she’d gotten a long enough glimpse of Riley to be able to tell that all the physical changes since high school had been for the better. His work kept him in great shape. There was no doubt about that. Most women would find him extremely attractive.

But not her, she told herself. There was no way she could afford even the slightest admiration or attraction.

“You’ll heal with less of a scar if I stitch it,” the doctor told her.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll be okay. Just put a Band-Aid on it,” she said. “I have other scars.”

Riley asked Dr. Harris for a minute alone with him. Then they both went into the living room, where they spoke in such low voices she couldn’t hear them.

God, she hated this. It went against everything she’d promised herself she’d do when she got out. She did
not
want to give Riley any reason to complain about her, or be unhappy that she was now living in town. Didn’t want to cost him any money or aggravation. She just wanted to steer clear of him and have peace between them.