Thirteen Senses (60 page)

The next day Lupe and her family went to the surrounding hillsides to trap rabbits and look for wild cactus and other edible things. Julian tried to get out of bed to do his part, but he couldn't move—he'd been beaten so badly. Lupe's sister Sophia cried that day up in the hills as they searched for food as she hadn't cried since they'd left their ragged, war-destroyed homeland. How could God have allowed this to happen to her beloved Julian, a good-hearted, little, tiny man who'd never lifted a finger to hurt anyone in all his life.

The following weekend when Salvador came to visit, Lupe asked him if he had any money so that they could go shopping for groceries for her family. All of her people were hungry. Victoriano had also been beaten. Salvador said, sure, he had money. Lupe thanked her lucky stars.

Then that Sunday, when Lupe went to church with Salvador and her
familia,
she was shocked to see that half of the Mexican families that they usually saw at church were gone. It felt like a death had happened inside of the very house of God.

Mexican communities all over the Southland were returning to Mexico. But back to what? Mexico was still a land of ragged misery, trying to heal from its terrible Revolution. The word
repatriando
now began to be used in almost every conversation—meaning that people were returning to their native land.

That week, the farmer who'd had Julian beaten came with his hat in hand bearing gifts and paid Julian the wages that he owed to him, and he apologized over and over again for the terrible misunderstanding, saying that this situation would never happen again, and that Julian had a job if he wanted it, and Victoriano, too, of course.

“It was like a miracle,” said Lupe to Salvador, the following weekend when he came by to see her and take her shopping for groceries for her
familia.
“That farmer just couldn't stop apologizing. Isn't it wonderful, Salvador, how life can change so quickly and so much good can come from a bad situation?”

Salvador nodded. “Yes, I agree. Life is really full of surprises.”

And he, the man who'd long ago befriended the Devil as well as God, said nothing more as he listened to his wife go on about this miracle that had come to pass. For he, too, believed in miracles here on Earth, but he also well-knew that now and then, they needed a little help. And that farmer, who'd come hat in hand, would never again ever even dream of having one of his workers beaten up. He was a changed man. He, too, had seen the Devil and the Devil's name was Juan Salvador Villaseñor.

This week, Salvador and Lupe found out that even having money wasn't much help. The grocery store that they normally went to hardly had any merchandise.

“Don't worry,” said Salvador, “I know a big grocery store across town where the owner has lots of everything!”

But then, getting to the store in the Anglo part of town, they went inside and found that shelves were mostly empty. And there was a hollow-looking old
gringo
at the cash register.

“My God!” said Salvador.

“What is it?” asked Lupe.

“That man, he's the owner,” whispered Salvador to Lupe. “He helped me once, years ago, when I was first getting into the liquor business and didn't know how to get the big quantities of sugar that I needed. Jesus, he used to be so full of life! This store was his pride and joy, and it was always so full of piles of food!”

Salvador almost felt like turning around and leaving, but he didn't. He took a big breath and walked up to the man. “Hello, my friend!” he said, with a big, happy grin, trying to uplift the man's spirit.

But the man didn't recognize Salvador and only responded with a weak “Hello.”

“Don't you remember me?” asked Salvador. “You helped me!”

“Good, I'm glad I did, and now what can I do for you?”

“Food!” said Salvador. “My wife and I want lots of groceries!”

“Do you got any money?” asked the man cautiously. “I can't just keep helping people, you know.”

“Sure, we got money!” said Salvador. “Cash! Lots of cash!”

“Really? Cash?” said the old worn-out-looking Anglo, who was probably only in his early forties. “Well, please, do come right in.”

Salvador watched him try to gather his strength, and be the confident man that he'd once been, as he showed them what he had left, but he just couldn't bring it off.

Salvador bought boxes and boxes of groceries—things that they really didn't even need—and he told the man that he'd be back. “So order more merchandise, my friend, because I'll be coming in from now on, once a week!”

“Really?” said the man. “And you'll have cash?”

“I'll have cash for you every week,
amigo
!
”
said Salvador.

“Oh, good!” said the old man, and he thanked Salvador again and again for having come in. But the following week, when Salvador and Lupe came by, the store was all boarded up.

“Good God,” said Salvador to Lupe.

“What is it?” asked Lupe.

“He killed himself,” said Salvador, feeling a chill go up and down his spine.

“But how do you know?” asked Lupe.

“I can feel it here inside of me,” he said, taking a deep breath and blowing out.
“Gringos,
they do this, you know. Your brother, Victoriano, explained it to me, Lupe; they're afraid of ending up with nothing.”

“Oh, no,” said Lupe, “it's not nothing that they're afraid of! It's that they love money more than they love their
familia
!
”
she added with anger.

“But why are you getting angry,” said Salvador. “The poor man must've been suffering awful to kill himself.”

“I don't care how much he was suffering!” snapped Lupe. “I'm with child and I'll do everything I can do to keep alive so my child can be BORN! He had no right to be so selfish! May he BURN IN HELL, the coward!”

“Lupe, Lupe, please, calm down,” said Salvador, laughing. He'd never heard her speak like this. “He was a good—”

“No, I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, Salvador!” she shouted. “I will live! And you will live, too! And that's that, do you hear me? THERE ARE NO EXCUSES!”

Seeing her anger and determination, Salvador tried to stop his laughter. Every day, this young wife-of-his was surprising him. “Okay, okay, I'll live,” he said. “I promise you, I'll live.”

Salvador could still see in his mind's eye how he'd gutted that screeching pig right there in bed with that farmer, then he'd put the flaming torch to the man's face, explaining what's what about life. He'd tossed the torch to the terrified man's bed and the horror-stricken man had had to fight to stop his house from going up in flames!

“Salvador,” she said, taking his hand, “I may not know much about a lot of things, but I do know that life is sacred, and we have no right to take it, especially our own.”

His whole chest came up. “Couldn't agree with you more,” he said. “No one should ever take their life, especially when the other guy is still breathing.”

Saying this, he looked into Lupe's eyes and he could see that she and he had truly come a long ways since they'd married. Why, she was becoming his hero like his very own mother.

“Lupe,” he said, “the more I get to know you, the more I love you.”

“You better,” she said, “I'm with your child.”

Her strength was truly becoming the Food of his Soul. “My God,” he said, laughing again, “just look at you, Lupe, at how far we've come in the last few months. You're a woman of IRON!”

“Salvador, that store keeper didn't know how to be poor of purse, but rich of Heart,” she said. “And that's what's happening to this whole country, too. These people just love money too much, and that's not right, I tell you. All families see hard times. That's just part of
la vida.”

Salvador nodded. “You're absolutely right, my
familia
and I sure have seen our share of hard times and yet, well, we always found a way.”

“Of course, you found a way, Salvador, you found the way of God,” said Lupe, making the sign of the cross over herself. “Look what happened to Sophia's husband; they beat him so they wouldn't have to pay him, and he was so hurt that he could hardly make it home, and still that day he found a dead rabbit on the road that had been hit by a car and a bunch of onions that had fallen off a truck. My sister cooked up a feast!” she said, with a smile full of pride. “Then a week later that same farmer came by and apologized. Life is full of miracles, Salvador. No one has the right to kill themselves!”

“I completely agree,” said Salvador, flashing in his mind's eye on the fear of that man's face as he'd thrown the flaming torch at him and the screeching gutted pig beside him. “We
Mejicanos
are pretty damn good, tough people, eh?”

“Con el favor de Dios,”
she said, bowing her head.

Yes,
con el favor de Dios,
Salvador thought to himself, but also with a little help from the good, old Devil, too.

“You're a good man, Salvador,” she said, soothing his big, huge, thick hand in hers and looking at him in the eyes.

“Thank you,
querida,”
he said.

And he felt so happy, and all at peace, but God help him . . . oh, how he loved to see the terrible fear that he'd put in that farmer's eyes that night.

Heaven was theirs, but the Gates to Hell were wide open, too.

THEY FOUND
another grocery store, bought a few things, then drove over to the farmhouse where Salvador had put up his distillery. Looking at the setup, Lupe realized that her husband was working day and night, around the clock. He had a mat and a couple of blankets on the floor right next to the stove.

“That's where you're sleeping?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said. “That way I can keep watch on the stove night and day and make sure it doesn't blow up.”

“But wouldn't you be safer in another room?”

“Not really,” he said. “If she blows, Lupe, she blows as big as a bomb, taking the whole house.”

“Good God,” she said. “I never realized that. Then let's go outside,” said Lupe.

“Okay,” said Salvador.

And so they took the straw mat and blankets outside and put them under the pepper tree in front. It was a beautiful, warm spring day. They lay down and ate, truly enjoying themselves. Then Salvador noticed a large bush with huge purple-violet flowers across the yard over by the side of the toolshed.

“Do you know what those big flowers are called,
querida
?” he asked, pointing across the yard.

“Hortensias,” said Lupe. “They're some of my mother's favorites.”

“I'll be,” he said. “Look, how they take in the sunlight. I've never seen a flower like this before. They're so big and beautiful. You know,” he added, “if we have a girl, I'd like to maybe name her Hortensia, just like those flowers.”

“Hortensia, why that's a beautiful name,” said Lupe. “And you know, if you look at one of those flowers real closely, you'll see that they aren't just one flower, but hundreds of tiny flowers.”

“No, really?” said Salvador and he got up, brushed off the seat of his pants, and walked over and picked one of the huge, round hortensias and brought it back across the yard. He was carrying his .38 in the front pocket of his loose-fitting pants. Their closest neighbors were two fields away. The farmer who had rented this place to Salvador had been overjoyed to get the cash. Salvador figured that he had nothing to worry about, but still a man in his business could never afford to be too relaxed.

“You're absolutely right, this flower is made up of hundreds of small, tiny flowers,” said Salvador, lying down once again beside Lupe. The bright sunlight was surrounding them in delicious warmth. “You know,” he said, “if we have a boy, I'd like to name him Jose, after my brother,
el gran fose.
”

“But I like your name Salvador,” said Lupe. “So why don't we call him Salvador or, well, Jose Salvador?”

“Yeah, I like that,” he said. “Jose Salvador. I'll be damned, it's like a miracle, isn't it, how life just goes on and on, never ending, eh?”

“Yes,” she said, smiling with
gusto,
“around and around, generation after generation, never ending, forever. And I was just thinking of this the other day, that I come from a long line of women who've been getting married and having kids since the dawn of time. We're not alone, Salvador, I can feel it, right here inside of me,” she said, patting her little popped-out stomach. “All of our ancestry is guiding us.”

“Yes, I feel that, too,” he said. “But I don't really want to think about my own father.” He took a deep breath. “I like to skip over him and think about my grandfather. Now, there was
un hombre
! Hey, if it's a boy, I think I'd like to call our baby Pio for my grandfather, instead of Salvador.”

“No,” said Lupe, “I want us to use your name, Salvador.”

“Really, you want to use my name, Lupe?”

“Yes, yours and your brother Jose's. You are a good man, Salvador.”

Hearing this for a second time, that he was a good man, Salvador breathed in so deeply that he had to look up at the Father Sky. This was all he'd ever wanted to hear, coming from the woman he loved. A car passed by.

“Okay,” said Salvador, having seen the car before, “then if it's a boy, we'll name him Jose Salvador; but if it's a girl, we'll name her Lupe Hortensia, after you,
mi amor,
and this gorgeous flower, that's not just one flower, but a treasure of hundreds of tiny little flowers—just as our child is sure to be a treasure in a hundred little ways, too!”

Lupe drew close to Salvador, kissing him. A flock of crows came flying by overhead, coming off the produce fields. They landed on the top branches of the huge pepper tree, and instantly, they began making a racket of sound.