Thief (18 page)

My original plan didn’t include Tessa, but as soon as I saw her, things changed. My idea of a home changed. My modified plan didn’t include drugging her and bringing her here, but after what happened with Nick, I couldn’t risk it.

There won’t be any blowback from Nick—he’s not someone Heavy will miss—but I knew after Tessa recognized me she wouldn’t come with me here willingly, and I couldn’t risk it. I had Sal go by her place the morning of the robbery and pack up a few things, leaving a note and some cash for Harper. The note just said she was safe and wouldn't be coming back. I think the money I left for Harper will keep her quiet. At least for a little while.

Sal hopped on a plane to South America right after and took care of business, meeting us here later. We needed to travel separately, just in case. Neither of us is worried about the police. I’m not sure they’re working too hard on tracking down the killer of a local criminal with a rap sheet a mile long. And my hitting the alarm in the vault on the way out was my ace in the hole.

The cops arrived just in time to catch some of Heavy’s men, but the money still got away. So while Heavy has his money right now, I don’t think it will be for long. The two guys they picked up will sing like birds once they know what kind of sentence awaits them, and they’ll be the ones to blame when the cops come knocking on Heavy’s door.

The bank gets its money back, Heavy and his team go to jail, and I’m long gone. Not necessarily a free man, but I plan on spending the rest of my life living here with Tessa, so I’m not worried about what I am in the eyes of the law.

It’s been three days since she woke up, and it’s not getting any better. I thought maybe once she got some distance, she would start to change her mind. Start to see what happened and realize that it was for the best. That all that mattered was that we were together.

I tried explaining it to her while she sat on the balcony and looked out at the ocean, but she wouldn’t acknowledge anything I said. I’ve tried to give her space. Not having her touch is eating me up inside.

Feeling the ache deep in my soul, I long to hold her to me and make it all okay. I don’t want to force her, but I just can’t see any other way. She has to snap out of this fog she’s in, or I’m afraid she’ll be lost to me forever.

“I’m going to do some fishing today. Good luck, Sean.” With that, Sal is gone, leaving me alone.

I walk to the lower patio that looks over the sandy beach. It’s so beautiful here, but I feel like a part of me is dead inside. I need Tessa to come back to me. I need her light to make my darkness go away.

I didn’t think it was possible for someone to get inside you, and imprint themselves into your skin so quickly, but it happened.

There is no me without her, and I know that there is no her without me. These feelings I have aren’t one sided, and as much as she’s upset with me, I know it’s still in there.

I know that even if she never forgives me, I can love enough for the both of us. And while I’m strong, I’m still weak without her. I’m not even half a man without her in my arms.

Making up my mind, I turn from the patio and walk towards our bedroom. She may fight me, and she may even hate me after, but I’ll make her see. I’ll make her remember what we had and that I only did what I did because I love her.

I’m going to remind her of our connection and how truly special it is. I’m going to remind her that my touch is the only touch she craves and that forgiving me is her only option. I’m sick to my stomach at not having her touch, and even if all she does is slap me, I’ll take it.

I’ll take even the smallest scrap of her attention. I’m just that desperate.

Chapter 22

Tessa

^“
O
h, God.” This has to be the best dream ever. I’m back in Sean’s bed, his head between my legs, his tongue stretching my tight opening, his beard scratching the inside of my thighs. His mouth makes love to me as his fingers force me to climax.

Everything else seems to just wash way. It’s just him and me, still in our perfect weekend.

“Cum for me, little fox. I need you,” he murmurs against my body before licking into my pussy with deep wet strokes. He goes back to my clit, dragging it into his mouth and sucking. Slipping two fingers inside me, he searches for my G-spot and sends me over the edge. My body coils and then succumbs as I call out his name, and the orgasm takes me.

I try to clamp my legs closed, but Sean buries his face deeper into the folds of my sex, making sure to get every drop of my orgasm. In my dream he’s soaking it all up and loving me with every inch of his mouth.

Too quickly the heat is gone and it makes my eyes open lazily. That’s when I remember.

Betrayal.

Death.

He used me to get into the bank, then he killed a man right in front of me.

It all comes crashing down on me. I stare at him as he sits in a chair in the corner of the room. He gazes back at me, licking his lips from the orgasm he just gave me. That was no dream. It was him. I roll over to face the other way. I don’t want to have my eyes on him.

I hate the way I feel about it. I feel like it’s ripping me in two. Part of me loves him, and part of me is so angry at him I can’t speak. I hate the part of me that loves him, but it’s still there.

Love isn’t just a switch you can flip on and off. I’ve learned that over the past few days. I loved him before I understood what was really happening, and that love doesn’t seem to be fading with this new knowledge. I’m not sure who I’m madder at, myself or him.

“You have to eat, baby.” I ignore him. It’s what I’ve been doing since I got here. I don’t want to talk to him because my ability to resist him isn’t so great. The only wall I can seem to keep up is silence. It wouldn’t take much to crack, even knowing the things I know. Does that make me pathetic? Knowing he used me for all of this, yet I still want him? He has blood on the very hands that have held me close at night. The hands that captured my face as he rained kisses all over me.

“You can’t go on not eating,” he tries again. He’s been on this eating thing since yesterday. To be honest I hadn’t even realized I hadn’t eaten. I think with all the crying, I just didn’t feel up to it. Nor was I hungry.

Now I am, but seeing how much it bothers him that I’m not eating, I’m doing it on purpose. It’s spiteful and immature, but I can’t find the energy to care. It might be childish, but I like seeing the misery on his face. I want him to be as miserable as I am. He did this to us. He ripped us apart and shattered everything. I should’ve known he was too good to be true.

He has taken everything from me: my life, my job, what few friends I had, and the man I thought I loved. He made me fall in love with him so he could use me. Then took me from the only home I’ve ever known.

I hear him move, coming to the other side of the bed so I’m once again looking at him. He drops to his knees next to the bed.

“If you don’t eat, you're going to get sick.” He pauses for a second, running his hands through his messy hair. I have the urge to reach out and fix it, but I clench my hand into a fist so that I don’t. “This is killing me, baby. I love you. Just…”

I don’t want to hear what he has to say. The walls I have up are already shaking just looking at him. The miserable look on his face is killing me. I hate it, but I can't seem to bring myself to swipe it away for him.

“If you stop talking, I’ll eat.” His jaw clenches, but he nods his head as he stands and leaves the room.

He comes back moments later with a tray in hand. It must have been sitting right outside the door. The sight of the pancakes and bacon makes my stomach growl loudly. Sean scowls at the sound, like my being hungry is making him angry.

“It’s your fault I haven’t eaten. If I was home, I bet I would have eaten by now,” I say defensively. That’s probably not true. I’d most likely be in bed, curled up and crying about Sean not being who I thought he was.

What’s just as scary is when I think about what would have happened if he’d left me behind. I’d never see him again. That thought seems more painful than this.

I sit up and let him place the tray over my lap. He goes back to his chair in the corner to sit in silence like I asked. I want to snap at him to leave, but then he probably would. I like when he’s close, even if I want to smack him.

When the first bite of fluffy pancake and sweet syrup hits my lips, I moan. I look up in time to see Sean adjusting himself in his chair. His erection is clear as day, even from across the room. He licks his lips, and I wonder if he’s thinking about my food, or still tasting me on his lips from earlier.

I get halfway through my food when the silence becomes too much.

“Why am I here?” I finally ask. Maybe if I ask the questions, I can control the conversation.

“Because I can’t live without you.” His tone is so matter-of-fact that I just stare at him. My heartbeat picks up at his words.
I can’t live without you.
God, I want to run and jump into his lap. Those words seem so much deeper than an ‘I love you.’

I can’t live without you

“You’re a liar. I can’t trust anything you say,” I tell him, wanting the words to be true. I want him to make me believe him.

“I’ve never once lied to you.”

“You said you were looking at my bank to set up an account,” I throw back at him. He never intended to open an account with us; he just used that lie to talk to me.

“No, I said I was looking at your bank for work. You took it as I wanted to set up an account. I never said that.”

I drop my fork down onto the plate. “It was a lie. Spin it how you like.” My appetite is gone once again, but I ate more than half of what he gave me.

He takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair.

The silence starts again.

“Why did you do this?” My words come out in a whisper. Wasn’t there another way to have gone about this if he wanted me? Was the bank robbery more important than me?

“The wheels were in motion before I ever even saw you. I couldn’t stop it by then. It was all too late. I could only do what I did.”

“I don’t know what that means, Sean. If that’s even your real name!” I scream out the last part. I don’t even know if the man I’ve fallen in love with is real.

Leaning forward, he places his elbows on his knees. I can see the dark circles under his eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. I know he crawls into bed with me each night and leaves before I wake up, leaving only his smell behind.

“I’m still the man you fell in love with, Tessa,” he shoots back, understanding what I was trying to get out. “The person I’ve been when I’m with you is who I am. The things I whispered in your ear when we made love. When I held you tight and told you I wanted a family. When I stroked your belly, dreaming of our baby growing in there. It was all true. Every. Single. Thing.”

“You used me,” I retort. I think I’m trying to remind myself of this more than remind him.

“I had no choice. The people I got mixed up with were already planning to use you, and I couldn’t let that happen. I tried, baby. I swear I did. I went back to call it all off and to wipe my hands clean. I wanted to be able to try to get you myself. Normal boy-meets-girl shit. But like I said, they already had you in their sights, and I wasn’t letting them touch you. No one touches what’s mine, and you are mine. It was too late, and the only thing I could do was make sure you were protected in all of it. Make sure that no matter what, you and I made it.” The look he gives me dares me to challenge that, but I say nothing “You might be fighting it, but you know it’s true. Just like I’m yours. I always have been. You’ve been mine before you ever knew I existed.”

A lump forms in my throat. I don’t want to cry anymore. I’ve already cried so much. He must see it in my eyes, the tears trying to break free.

“Tessa.”

The way he says my name is pained as need coats the word. I pull my eyes to his, feeling his stare all the way to my toes.

“You took me from the only home I’ve ever known.”

“No, I brought you to your home. Your place is with me, and this is our home. It’s made just for us. You belong here, not there. I’ve never really had a real home, Tessa, but when I saw you that first time I knew you were it. From that very first moment. You are my only home, and I want to be yours.”