There's Something About a Rebel- (15 page)

She waved and headed straight for him, her smile glowing. ‘I’ve got such exciting news.’ She grabbed his arm. ‘I’ll tell you on the way. there’s a party at Brandy’s house and.’ She trailed off, her brow creasing. ‘You haven’t got a headache, have you? You look pale …’

‘I’m fine, in fact I—’

‘So you’ll come? Please, please, Blake, I want you there with me.’

‘I need to talk to you first.’

‘What about?’

‘Not here.’ He gestured with his chin. ‘Outside.’ Without waiting for a response, he took her elbow, and guided her past the crowd and out to the footpath. The sea air laden with the aromas of Asian stir fry and warm bitumen met them. He turned her towards him. ‘Lissa, I—’

‘Can it wait?’ She all but jiggled on the spot, her beautiful face brimming with delight, clear eyes sparkling. ‘The party’s for—’

‘This is important.’ He grasped her upper arms, suddenly desperate.

‘So is my career. Didn’t you say to focus on my career first? Okay, I can’t wait, I’ll just have to spill it now.’ She clasped her hands together beneath her chin, her eyes sparking with life and energy, bits of foil glinting in her hair. ‘Maddie Jenkins wants in on the business as a full partner! You wouldn’t be aware but she’s got interior design shops all the way down the coast from Cairns to Brisbane and she wants Lissa’s to be a part of it.’

Inside, Blake turned to stone. He loosened his hold. Who the hell was Maddie Jenkins? ‘You haven’t discussed it with me.’ His lips felt numb; he felt as if someone else were pushing out the cool, clipped words. ‘It’s good manners to discuss any changes with your current partner first, don’t you think?’

She stilled. ‘Oh, Blake. I should have, I’m sorry. But it just happened moments ago.’

Her smile faded and the sparks in her eyes changed and he hated himself for being the cause but he couldn’t find it in him to accept her apology.

When he didn’t respond, she continued, ‘You and I … we agreed it was a temporary arrangement until I found another interested party. Maddie’s got years of experience and contacts all over the country. It’ll still be Lissa’s Interior
Designs but this arrangement is just. so perfect. For me.
and
for you.’

Her eyes changed again, shadows stealing the light, but they remained level on his. ‘You never really wanted to be involved in an interior design business. You only did it to help me out, we both know that. Because you knew I wouldn’t accept charity. But you believed in me and I’ll never forget it.’

He tightened his jaw. She was right, all the way right. ‘You’ve got it all figured out.’

‘It makes sense—for both of us. You’re free now. Totally free. You can go off and do what you want, wherever you want. If that’s what you want.’

‘If I asked you to, would you come with me?’ The words spilled out before he could stop them.

‘What?’ For a heartbeat he saw a flash of something like yearning in her eyes and his heart skipped a beat. ‘Where? When?’

‘Anywhere. Everywhere.’
For as long as for ever.

‘Why?’ she asked quietly.

And he knew it wouldn’t work, even if her eyes were telling him something else. Her new business was where she needed to be. She’d regret it for the rest of her life. Because he couldn’t be the man she needed. He couldn’t give her the kind of life she wanted.

So he shrugged as if his gut weren’t tearing him up.
A moment of madness.
‘I just wanted to
satisfy myself that you really are committed to this venture.’

She nodded, crossed her arms over her chest. ‘And now you know. I can’t believe you’d think I’d give up my career on a whim. You made this chance possible and I’ve worked towards it for so long. I’m going to take Maddie’s offer while it’s still on the table.’ She searched his eyes for the longest time, as if committing them to memory.

He was vaguely aware that a group of younger party-goers stepped onto the footpath, that someone called her name. Still watching him, Lissa backed away towards them. Someone put a glass of champagne in her hand. She didn’t seem to notice. ‘You sure you won’t come with us?’

He shook his head, barely managed a quick smile. ‘Go do your thing, party girl. I’ve got some business of my own to take care of.’

‘Someone’ll drop me off, so I’ll see you back at home, then.’ She lifted her glass in a kind of salute.

Home? She’d never referred to his house as home before and warmth flickered deep inside only to cool instantly as he watched her walk away, his jaw so tight he wondered that he didn’t crack a tooth.

Then she seemed to change her mind. She turned around and ran back, clutched at his shirt and blinked up at him. And for a pulse-pounding second a new dawn beckoned.

‘Thank you, Blake, you’re the best partner
I ever had.’ She reached up, pulled his head down and pressed her warm lips to his. The cold bubbly spilled out of her glass and down his shirt.

He pulled her closer, skimming the edge of something that felt eerily like panic. He’d faced enemy fire, unexploded mines and been life-threateningly close to running out of oxygen in the ocean’s depths and always kept his cool. Used reasoning and logic to see him through.

There was nothing cool or reasonable or logical here.

When she broke the kiss and eased her heels back down to the footpath, the feeling didn’t go away. It deepened.

She smiled and stepped back. ‘The cleaning crew’ll lock up when they’re done.’

He jutted his chin towards the group up ahead. ‘Your friends are waiting.’

She nodded. ‘‘Night.’
Don’t wait up.
He swore he heard those words on the balmy salt air.

H
E SHOULD
have enjoyed coming home alone. That was what he wanted, right? His temples throbbed with tension. Not wanting the light’s harsh glare, Blake walked through the darkened house. The silence was shattering. He stopped outside Lissa’s bedroom. The subtle fragrance she wore lingered on the air. He stepped through the doorway and looked about. It was the usual disaster area. A jumble of clothes, boxes, shopping bags.

Her presence extended to other rooms. Where she stored—and he used the word loosely—her tools of trade, where she sketched. Even his room didn’t escape unscathed. Make-up and hair products. Her two pillows propped at a crazy angle against his headboard.

Damn. He’d become accustomed to it. It was … comfortable. Too comfortable.

His gaze moved to a photo he’d snapped of the two of them at the Loo with a View, a popular local spot overlooking the esplanade. She’d framed it for him to take with him when he left.

Their relationship had never been anything other than temporary. No misunderstanding on that score. It had been fun while it lasted.

Stretching out on the bed, he tucked her pillows behind his head.
Waiting for Lissa to come home.
What if …?

In his mind’s eye he saw Lissa setting a birthday cake glowing with candles in front of him. Gifts on the sideboard. Smiling faces around the table. Jokes and laughter. Sharing his special day. Being part of a family. Shaking his head, he dismissed it before it could seize his heartstrings and never let go.

He’d made her, and himself, a commitment to stay, or at least remain in contact until Lissa was on her feet and able to manage without him. They’d come to that point. Closing his eyes, he made a mental list of all he needed to do.

Lissa quietly let herself in as the first line of scarlet smeared the sea’s horizon. She grimaced as the door squeaked on its hinges. She hadn’t meant to be out so late but she and Maddie had had a lot to discuss and the time had flown by. She’d texted Blake over two hours ago and left a message to tell him she was okay but she’d had no response.

Now the festivities and celebrations were over, everything else came flooding back. Fatigue hit her like a bomb. Not wanting to wake Blake, she
slipped off her shoes, crept to the staircase and sat on the bottom step.

If I asked you to, would you come with me?

And for a moment there, at the party, looking into his eyes, she’d wavered. To sail with him off into the sunset. To live and love and grow old together. Her heart had yearned with the beauty of it, cried with the pain of it.

But he’d thrown it out there to test her
commitment.
Her sense of
responsibility.
To see if she was as good as her word.

So she’d given all the right reasons, all the logical reasons why she should say no. She’d struggled for independence most of her life and Lissa’s Interior Designs was her passport.

But deep inside, where reason didn’t exist, she’d wept.

Gathering up her shoes, she climbed the stairs. Blake’s bedroom door was part-way open.

Suddenly unsure, she tapped before entering and was met by a brooding man with a surly tone. ‘Morning, party girl.’ He wore the same black jeans and ratty T-shirt he’d had on the night he’d landed on her deck. His hair had grown in the weeks since, and was furrowed now, as if he’d been running his hands through it. There were dark smudges beneath his eyes.

‘I texted you,’ she said.

One glance at the bed and she saw he was packing. Packing? Now? Swift and devastating
pain stabbed at her. She’d known it was coming, but today?

‘Yeah. Thanks for letting me know.’ He folded T-shirts, laid them in his bag. ‘So, you and Maddie got it all sorted?’

She barely heard him. ‘You’re leaving.’

‘It’s time. You’ve got what you wanted and my boat’s been ready for a week. I’m picking it up tomorrow. I wanted to wait until the launch was over. Didn’t want to spoil the fun.’

Her brain whirled with the shock and the details that needed sorting. ‘Your loan. We have to arrange—’

‘I don’t need the money, Lissa. Keep it as a gift. I’ll arrange for the paperwork.’ He moved to the wardrobe and pulled shirts off hangers.

‘I can’t do that, it’s not right. And it doesn’t sit well with me. You know it doesn’t.’

‘Then donate it to the charity of your choice.’

‘What about the house?’ She’d need to find somewhere else to live.

He didn’t look at her as he folded each shirt with the same precise care, laid it on the pile. ‘There are no bookings for the next couple of months. I’ve just emailed the agent and informed him you’re here for as long as you need to be. Till you find somewhere decent that you can afford.’

‘I can’t stay here.’
You’re all around me.

‘Then do me a favour and house-sit for a while. It’s always safer when someone’s living in
a place. And for God’s sake stop telling me you can’t. I know you can, and it’s really not a word I want to hear right now.’ Jaw tight, he slammed the bag’s lid down, wrenched the zip closed.

He looked at her and his eyes did that magic thing she’d seen on rare occasions. They turned from hard flint to the softest tropical blue, just for an instant before reverting to hard once more. ‘I need to leave. And it has to be now.’ His voice was scratchy and raw, as if he’d swallowed sandpaper. ‘Do you understand?’

No.
‘No. I
don’t
understand.’ The full impact had taken a few moments to sink in and now shock turned to desperation. But she kept her voice steady. ‘I do understand you need time to heal. But I can help you with that. Now you’ve talked about it, we can work on strategies together. If you want, we can see a counsellor …’

He shook his head. ‘It was always temporary, Lissa. We knew that.’

‘So that’s it, then.’ No tears. Her eyes were as dry as dust and she was grateful for it. A swift clean break now would allow her to focus on her new career. She’d be so busy she wouldn’t have time to miss him.

‘Why don’t you go make us some breakfast?’

She couldn’t seem to drag her eyes away from his face. This was what he wanted and she so wanted him to be happy. He deserved to be happy, to live his life in peace and solitude if that was what he wanted. But why did it have to hurt
so much? Why did it feel as if her very soul were being torn apart?

‘So you’re walking away.’ She’d sworn she’d not say it but it was as if someone else were speaking through her. ‘After everything I’ve just said. After all we’ve been through. What we’ve come to mean to each other. You can pack up and move on
just like that
?’ She clicked her fingers in front of her face.

And for one thudding heartbeat she thought she saw the same emotions rip through his gaze, but maybe she was hallucinating because when she blinked her vision clear there was nothing but that flinty-eyed, self-contained remoteness.

‘On second thought, forget breakfast, it’s best if I just go,’ he said, with that same wretched aloofness. ‘You’re dead on your feet and you always did have that flair for the overly dramatic.’

He crossed to her, took her hands in his and she wanted to pull away from his touch, to prove she could, but her hands were numb. ‘It’s not the end of the world, Lissa, it’s just the beginning. You’ll thank me later. A good eight hours’ sleep and everything will fall into perspective. You’ll wake rejuvenated and ready to take on the next challenge in your life.

‘We want different things. You need stability. A home, family. I want to feel the salt air on my face and drop anchor wherever I please. And that’s not the kind of man you need. We had
some good times but we always knew it was just a fling.’

She flinched at his tone and the word.
Fling.
It sounded almost sordid, an abomination for what she thought they’d had. Had she been the only one to feel that intensity? Or the only one dumb enough, naive enough to let it matter?

‘You know something? I don’t
need a man
in my life. Why do you men always think you’re so indispensable?’

‘I guess we’ve said it all, then.’ He picked up one of his bags, slung it over his shoulder.

‘I guess we have.’ Damn him, she wasn’t going to watch him walk away. Their talk had drained every last drop of energy from her and she didn’t know how much longer she could remain standing. ‘I hope you enjoy your freedom. And I’ll always be grateful for your helping hand when I was down, so thank you for that.’ She stepped away. ‘I think I’ll go take that nap. You’ll probably be gone when I wake up, so. I’ll say goodbye now.’

He nodded once, then tore what was left of her heart out when he kissed her cheek lightly and said, ‘I’ll see you around some time.’

Not in this lifetime, she vowed later sitting on the couch with her arms around his pillow watching the afternoon shadows creep over the pool.

And she’d been left to explain why
he
wasn’t
going to be coming to brunch with her family. She’d opted out too, pleading fatigue. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears.

In one evening she’d been handed her dream career, her independence, her new life. And lost the man she loved.

The shop opened on Monday. Jill, one of Maddie’s staff from the Noosa branch, had come down to help for a couple of weeks with a view to looking at relocating there to be closer to her family. Older than Lissa and with a few years’ experience under her belt, Jill was bright and enthusiastic and Lissa hoped she’d stay on.

People dropped in to wish Lissa well and share the bubbly Maddie had sent. She didn’t think about Blake
at all.
No way. Not for a minute.

She did
not
imagine him sharing the excitement of her first day or seeing him walk in at closing, eyes hot for her, hair glinting under the rings of fire when he came to whisk her away for a celebration dinner.

Then mid-morning a massive floral arrangement arrived. Three dozen fragrant yellow roses spilling from a ginormous glass bowl. ‘Someone loves you.’ Jill grinned as the black-capped delivery guy in his crisp black shirt with its gold logo set it on the coffee table in the display area.

A little tag gave instructions for care of cut
flowers and a hand-written explanation that yellow roses celebrated success and new beginnings.

‘My brother.’ Lissa smiled back, tugging at the attached envelope. ‘He’s always.’ Her voice trailed off, her smile dropping away as she read the card inside.

Congratulations! Thinking of you today. Blake.

The surprise caught her off-guard. Her nose stung, her eyes brimmed and something huge and heavy lodged in her throat. He’d thought enough to choose the exact right flowers and, what was more, he’d wanted her to know. ‘They’re from my. They’re from Blake.’

‘You mean that dishy navy guy from Saturday night?’

Lissa heard Jill’s appreciative murmur and shuffled the card quickly back in its envelope. ‘He’s left the navy. Bought himself a yacht. He won’t be coming back any time soon.’ She turned her back on the flowers and headed for her desk, aware of Jill’s gaze boring into her neck.

But she slept in his bed that night. The following night she moved her stuff there. Just for the short time until she found her own place. She told herself she liked the view of the river from there.

In the evenings after putting in hours of overtime at Lissa’s, she sketched. She finished the
piece she’d been working on. After all, she knew every plane and angle of his face. A portrait of Blake. She’d give it to him some time when he was passing through.

She put on some music and danced in the living room until she was physically exhausted, then tossed for hours, unable to sleep. Citing work as the reason, she put off visiting her family.

Work, work, work. It gave her a reason to get up in the morning. She enjoyed the long hours. She loved seeing the process move from plan to finished perfection. The income allowed her to start repaying the debt into the bank account Blake had set up.

To her surprise, over the next few weeks she discovered she could live without Blake and not fall to pieces every time she thought of him. She knew she could lead the fulfilling, independent life she’d wanted.

But now she knew Blake as well as anyone could, she’d always feel as if a part of her were missing. One day she might even be able to think about dating again. It was ironic that it had been Blake who’d given her back that confidence.

She’d not heard a single solitary word from him, nor had she contacted him. She told herself it was better that way. One email or text, one phone call and she’d want more.

Blake didn’t.

Blake cradled his mug of tea while he watched the sun lift out of the water. It swam on the horizon, a ball of fire shimmering in the early morning haze. Fingers of crimson spread along the yacht’s decking and stroked his skin with sultry warmth. The air was thick with humidity and the smell of the ocean, the way he liked it.

To his right, tropical rainforest capped a steep peak, then dipped all the way down to a golden ribbon of sand. If he looked to his left he could see the conical shape of one of the Barrier Reef’s unspoiled islands rising out of an indigo and turquoise sea.

This was paradise.

Who wouldn’t give their all to be in his place right now? He breathed deep as he watched a flock of seabirds dip and dive, and took a bite out of his toasted bacon sandwich. The water lapped at the hull, the sails flapped lazily.

This was freedom.

He could take the time to enjoy the wind in his hair and the sun on his back. No one to tell him what to do and how to do it. No one to tell him when to get up, where to go.

No one.

He shook off the edgy feeling. He wasn’t lonely. He could drop anchor at the nearest marina any time and chat with the locals at the yacht club. He didn’t need company.

Why waste time building relationships that always ended? Why build a home, settle in one
place when he could take his seafaring home anywhere he wanted?

This was living the dream.

All he needed was a seaworthy boat, food on his plate and a comfortable bed. He curled both palms around the railing. All he wanted was peace and solitude and a blue horizon.