Then Came Indecision (Southern Love #2) (21 page)

She met his gaze. “At least he was honest with me. He never hid the truth from me or made his excuses. I never felt like I was kept in the dark.
You continue to string me along, playing with me like a cat chasing a feather. I’m not doing it anymore.”

“I’m so sick of this! I’m not playing you, Alexandra. You are the only woman in my heart. I haven’t touched anyone else since the day I met you.”

“I wish I could believe you…”

“You can. Please trust me.”

She sighed. “I’m tired of having this conversation.”

“So am I.”

She met his gaze. “Then let’s stop having it.”

Blaise understood her meaning. “I’m not giving up on us. We belong together.”

“I belong with Paul.”

“That’s bullshit. You
do not belong with him! He’s a cheating piece of shit boyfriend. I’m the real deal. I have everything that you’re ever going to need.”

“Then why do you keep hurting me?”

He sighed. “The uncertainty is what’s hurting you, not me. If you just took a leap of faith, we’d be happy right now.”

She shook her head.

“You wouldn’t have came to me in the middle of the night if you weren’t in love with me.”

“That’s never been the problem, Blaise.”

“Then how could you even consider going back to him? You broke up with him for a reason.”

“You aren’t the only one who make
s me happy,” she said simply. “If I gave my whole heart to Paul, he would be everything I needed. And I think I’m going to give it to him.”

“Do you love him?” His heart stopped beating while he waited for her answer.

“Yes.”

He took a deep breath.

“That was never the issue. I always loved him. But I was hurt by what he did and what I was going through.”

“But then you fell in love with me instantly and the entire world changed.” He placed his hand on her waist. “I’m the one you should be with him, not him.”

She averted her gaze. “It doesn’t seem that way.”

“If I wasn’t caught up in all this drama, would you pick me?”

Alexandra continued to avoid his look.

“Answer me.”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Then you should be with me.”

“No…” She stepped back. “Blaise, we’re done. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Let me find a way to convince you.”

“The only person who could is Danielle. And she conveniently is unavailable.”

Blaise wanted to kill Danielle and throw her in a river. He was so angry he actually considered doing it. “This isn’t fair.”

“I know it isn’t.”

He put his hands on his hips. “Then what?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m moving on. There’s no possibility of us being together again. And I’m not going to torture myself any longer.”

Blaise felt his heart spasm. “What does that mean?”

“I want to be with Paul.”

“No.”

“Yes.” She took a deep breath and tears started to appear. “He doesn’t hurt me, he doesn’t lie to me, and he’s…my best friend.”

“I’m your best friend.” His voice came out cracked, dense with emotion.

“A best friend doesn’t lie to you.”

“I didn’t lie.” He felt his tears start to bubble.

“I can’t do this anymore…” She shook her head. “It’s too hard.”

“I—I can’t just let you go.”

“You have to. I belong to Paul now.”

“You’ll always belong to me,” he whispered.

“I’m moving on and I’m not looking back.” She sniffed then wiped her tears away. “I suggest you do the same. But I wish you the best in everything, and I’m always here if you need anything. But please don’t try to win me back. You’ll be wasting your time.”

Blaise stepped toward her, his arm reaching for her.

“No.” She held up her hand and stepped back. “Please just go.”

Blaise sniffed. “Have you been sleeping with him?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Alexandra.”

She finally looked at him. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I—I don’t know.”

“I do,” he said. “Because I’m the only man you want inside you.”

“Well, I can’t have you.” She stepped back. “And I accept that.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Blaise, I can’t.” She stared at him for a long time, her tears falling down her face. A look of pain and resignation was on her lips. And acceptance was etched into her features. “Goodbye.”

Blaise watched her walk into the house, his heart shattered into a million pieces.

Chapter Twenty Four

Paul was sitting in the living room when she walked inside. He didn’t look at her and kept quiet. His hands were in his lap, and he seemed calm. “Do you want to be alone?” he whispered.

“Not particularly.” She sniffed again.

He stood up and met her gaze. “You want to go in your room?”

She nodded.

He put his hand on her lower back and guided her to the bedroom.

Still crying, she pulled her clothes off and got into bed in just her underwear. Paul undressed then lay beside her. His hand moved around her waist and he cuddled next to her.

Alexandra took a deep breath and tried to stifle her tears.

“You don’t have to do that,” he whispered.

“What?”

“Try not to cry.
It’s okay to let it out.”

She wiped them away. “I’m just tired of it.”

“I know…”

Alexandra rested her hand on his arm. The heat burned her skin. Her fingers drifted over the tattoo on his arm. She stared at it and tried to concentrate her thoughts on the words.

“What happened?” he asked.

“The same thing that’s happened a million times.”

“Is he pissed that I’m here?”

“He isn’t too happy,” she whispered.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” she said. “Of course not.”

“Good. I wouldn’t have left if you asked.”

She smiled. “I figured.”

“So, is Blaise going to leave you alone now?”

“I think so.”

“And what did you say about us?”

Alexandra guided her fingers down to his knuckles. She felt the rough patches of skin. “That I want to be with you.”

He took a deep breath and held it for a moment. “So you’re mine?”

She nodded.

Paul released the air in his lungs then kissed her on the forehead. “I knew my patience would be rewarded. You’ve made me so happy, Alexandra.”

“But I have to say something.”

“What?” he asked.

“I still love Blaise but I don’t
want to.”

“I know,” he said gently.

“And that isn’t fair to you, Paul. I just want to get over Blaise and move on. All he does is cause me pain. But he’s still in my heart and in my thoughts. I wish he wasn’t.”

Paul leaned over her. “Alex, I’m fine with that.”

“But you deserve more.”

“No. You’re the one that deserves more, baby.”

Alexandra ran her hand up his chest.

“And I’ll make sure you get over him.” He rubbed his nose against hers and smiled. “Believe me. I know what you like.”

She felt her spine shiver slightly.

“It will be okay, baby. You made the right decision. When we
get back home, you’ll stop thinking about him every day. And one day, you’ll forget that you stopped thinking about him. And then eventually, you’ll never think about him.”

Alexandra took a deep breath. “Why does that make me sad?”

His eyes softened. “It’s always hard to let go of the ones you love. I’m just sorry he hurt you so much. You don’t deserve that, Alexandra.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

He shook his head. “You deserve much better than me. But I’ll spend every minute of every day trying to be worthy of you.”

Chapter Twenty Five

“We ran into Blaise the other day,” Lisa said.

Alexandra sat across from them at the booth. “Oh,” she said sadly.

“That asshole tried to convince us to help him get back together with you,” Hannah said.

“But we’re on team Paul, so we said hell no,”
Lisa said.

“Team Paul?” Alexandra asked.

Hannah nodded. “You got that right.”

“There are no teams,” Alexandra said. “Blaise and I broke up weeks before Paul came here. There was never a competition.”

“Certainly not a close one,” Lisa said with a smile.

“So, can you introduce me to Paul’s brother?” Hannah asked.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Alexandra said.

“Is he hot too?” Hannah asked.

Alexandra shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t see him that way.”

Lisa
rolled her eyes. “If he looks like Paul, then you must have checked him out.”

“I would never disrespect Paul like that,” Alexandra said.

“You’re such a goodie-goodie,” Hannah said.

Gabe approached their table. He had been quiet for the past couple of weeks. In English class, he didn’t speak to Alexandra. And they didn’t study in the library anymore. “Hey,” he said quietly. “Can I join you?”

“Why do you always ask that?” Lisa said.

“Yeah, don’t be weird,”
Hannah said.

Gabe sat down next to
Lisa and Hannah. It was a tight squeeze.

Lisa
grimaced. “Just sit next to Alex!”

Gabe looked awkward for a moment before he moved to her side of the booth.

“Did something happen between you?” Hannah asked.

“No,” Alexandra lied.

Lisa still looked suspicious but she didn’t say anything.

Alexandra pulled out her phone and texted Paul. She promised she would always tell him when Gabe was around. It was better than Paul telling everyone what happened at the party.

“So, I heard they are having a parade for you,” Hannah said.

Alexandra sighed. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Nope,” Lisa said with a smile. “And you’re getting the key to the city.”

“They still do things like that?” Alexandra asked incredulously. “Is it the 50’s?”

“No, it’s the south,” Lisa said. “That’s why it’s so awesome down here.”

“Sure,” Alexandra said. “If you love humidity.”

“It’s humid in New York too,” Hannah said.

Alexandra shrugged. “You have a point.”

Gabe turned to her. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” she said quietly.

“How’s Paul?”

“He’s fine too.”

He nodded.

Alexandra never felt more awkward in her life. Their relationship was completely ruined. Every time they spoke, she felt like she was sitting on a nail.

Paul walked in a moment later. He was wearing jeans a black t-shirt. Alexandra liked it when he wore dark colors because it contrasted against his skin. The outline of his shoulders was noticeable. Her eyes lingered for a moment before she looked away.

Paul approached the seat and glared at Gabe. “Get up.”

Gabe flinched then moved out of the way.

Paul sat beside Alexandra and dropped his arm around her shoulders. She was pinned to the wall, Paul acting as a barrier between her and Gabe. She would never admit it but she liked being protected that way.

Lisa stared at Paul. “Why are you always such an ass to Gabe?”

Paul looked at her. “Because I don’t like him. Or did you not pick up on that?”

Lisa raised her hands. “I’ll back off.”

“Don’t be rude,” Alexandra whispered to him.

Paul shook his head. “I’ll keep your secret but I won’t treat him with respect. Deal with it.”

She sighed.

Paul leaned in and kissed her on the lips gently. The contact was brief but it was enough to knock the wind out of her. She didn’t think they should be kissing, but if she wanted to move on from Blaise, she needed to start being serious with Paul.

“You guys are totally in love,”
Lisa said.

“So stop telling us he isn’t your boyfriend,” Hannah said.

Paul rubbed his nose against hers. “Tell them, baby.”

“He is my boyfriend.”

They both clapped happily.

“And don’t you forget it,” Paul said as he glared at Gabe.

Gabe kept his mouth shut.

Alexandra rested her hand on his thigh just like she used to when they were together. The act was so automatic she didn’t even thi
nk about it. Every once in a while, Paul would lean in and kiss her forehead. Her friends continued their conversation but she kept paying attention to Paul, loving the way he smelled.