Their Heart Search: Bethany & Jordan's Story (Search Series) (4 page)

“But Kai...” Raiden cut her off.

“I’m not letting Kai mess with Tai and I. Bethany, be free, spread your wings, but guard your heart till you’re ready.” Raiden usually had sound advice it was why she loved him.

“Thanks, Raiden. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, and you’re welcome,” he replied and the call ended. She looked towards her bedroom door and wondered what Jordan was up too. Friends, she could handle that. Anything else she wasn’t sure.

Jordan

He felt guilty but he heard her talking on the phone and couldn’t help but listen.

“She’ll never want anything more than friendship,” he sighed. He had never felt a connection to anyone the way he had felt drawn to her. Not even Tai had ever affected him the way Bethany had. She turned his world upside down in hours.

He stood up and was almost to his door when he heard, “Jordan.” Her voice barely above a whisper. He shook his head and entered the bedroom closing the door behind him.

He was an ass. That was an asshole move. He couldn’t move past the asshole enough. Meredith destroyed him, even if Bethany finally decided she wanted something more than friends, he would never be worthy. He was tainted by the mistakes of the past.

Bethany

Curled up with a book she had been dying to read, she tried to process everything that had just happened. Had Jordan decided she wasn’t worth the wait? Wasn’t worth a friendship?

She turned back to the pages of Fire in His Eyes the first book in a three book series all following different couples. MJ Nightingale had quickly become one of her favorite authors. She was almost to the end of Victor and Monica’s story wondering why love couldn’t happen like they did in books. Did passion like that really exist? She didn’t know. She never gave herself the chance to find out. She always knew she would have to marry Raiden and like she told him once, she didn’t want to be in love with someone else when she had to fulfill that obligation. But now...well now he had Tai and she had Jordan or did she?

Opening her heart was not something she ever did. She could relate a little to Monica in the book she was reading. She could feel the crushing pain she felt as things spiraled out of control. Bethany didn’t want that to happen she couldn’t take it if it did.

Jordan

He sat on the bed for a while trying to think. All he could think about was her and how he had just dismissed her. He got up and walked across the hall to her room knocking gently on the door.

“Bethany,” he called quietly, afraid she might be asleep.

“Come in.” He heard from the other side so he slowly opened the door to her bedroom.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he entered the room the hall light now casting a glow into her room. She put a book down and gave him a sad look. “Reading anything good?”

She nodded, “Very good, just wish the romance in books existed in real life,” she sighed.

“It can with the right person.”

“Tai wasn’t that person?” she questioned.

“No, she wasn’t and I knew that. I shouldn’t have proposed,” he answered sitting on her bed.

“Why did you ask her then?” she asked.

“The simple answer, her mom. It’s really complicated, beautiful.” She nodded. He lay back on the bed facing the ceiling. 

“Will you tell me what happened?” she asked.

“One day, beautiful. I’m not ready yet.” He turned on his side facing her.

“Did you hope something would happen with her by coming here?” He shook his head.

“No, I knew that ship had sailed. I also knew it shouldn’t have come down to what it did. Beautiful, I was a complete ass. I want a friendship with her. I want to somehow make up for the past, but nothing more.”

“So you came to get her knowing she wouldn’t take you back,” she stated. 

“I did. Meredith told me she was in trouble.” He sighed, damn woman always manipulated things. It was how he fell into bed with her. It was why he agreed to propose to Tai. No more though, Jordan.

Bethany

She lay on her side and listened to him explain why he had come. Listened to him say he knew getting Tai back wouldn’t be an option. Listening to him talk she felt a weird calm. His voice was soothing; he expressed nothing more than wanting to be given the chance to care.

She scooted closer to him resting her head on his shoulder. His head quickly whipped around; his eyes locking with hers. “Jordan, I need patience. I need friendship. I need understanding,” she whispered. He nodded and kissed her forehead before wrapping his arm around her and pulling her closer. She quickly drifted off to sleep.

All my life I never gave my heart...

I was always going to marry him...

I didn’t love him, but...

He’s my best friend.

AND NOW....Well now everything has changed.

Life had surely changed for her in just a few short hours, but she couldn’t open herself yet. Kai’s phone call ran through her head as she slept. “Don’t fall, Beth, Tai won’t be in the picture long.” Kai Lukas, a man she once thought she loved. A man who would have protected her with his life, much like Raiden. A man whose child she once carried.

“I can’t! I can’t! This isn’t happening!” She tossed and turned as strong arms tried to hold her in place. “Let me go!” And she was released. She sat up in the darkness rubbing her face when a light next to the bed flickered on.

“What happened?” he questioned. 

“Jordan, go back to your room,” she said distantly. He couldn’t be there. She couldn’t tell him what had happened between her and Kai. Hell, Raiden didn’t even know. Only her mom knew about that night, it was something they kept from her dad and from everyone. It was for the best.

“Bethany?” he questioned.

“No Jordan, just go.” He didn’t respond he just climbed off the bed and left her room closing the door behind him.

“You aren’t worth his time. You’re tainted. Kai Lukas ruined you. An arranged marriage has bound you up. No one should have to pick up the pieces of your heart,” she whispered to herself as she softly cried herself back to sleep.

Jordan

He lay awake. She kicked him out, but truthfully he didn’t belong in her bed. He hadn’t earned that. He couldn’t sleep and his phone pinged signaling the voice mail he had been ignoring. He couldn’t ignore it anymore.

“Jordan, please answer me...” She sounded desperate, but this wasn’t his place. “Jordan, he’s going to kill her, he’s a monster,” she pleaded. Jordan deleted the message and shook his head.

Kai had seriously spooked her, but from all Jordan saw, Raiden was doing right by Tai. Certainly more than he ever did. Jordan sighed he wasn’t making those mistakes again. Whatever Bethany needed, he would be.

Bethany

She woke to the sound of banging around in her kitchen. Was he really cooking again? She shook her head, he wasn’t real, this was a dream clearly. She got up and exited her room in her pajamas. “Smells good.”

He turned and smiled, “Just in time, beautiful. It’s just about done.” She walked towards him.

“Are you real?” she asked on a chuckle.

“Very,” he laughed.

She sighed, “Jordan...” She paused to gather her thoughts. “Friends.”

He set a plate of food in front of her. “Okay, if that’s what you need, but promise me something,” he responded.

“I can probably do that,” she answered.

“Just let your heart guide you. I won’t push anything on you. I’ll be here and be what you need, but promise me you’ll listen to your heart.” She sighed. She was trying to, but she was scared, too.

“I will, but it scares me.” He walked around the counter and pulled her to her feet before wrapping his arms around her.

“I know and it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere just tell me what you need, when you need it.” He spoke low in a steady voice. She couldn’t speak she just nodded and held him. He didn’t push her away instead he tightened his grip. Bethany’s heart told her his arms were home, she just wasn’t ready to go all the way not with Kai bent on destroying Raiden’s new relationship. She had to remain careful.

Jordan

He finally pulled back from their embrace and brushed some hair behind her ear. She gave him a small smile before sitting back down at the breakfast bar. “Any plans today?” she asked, taking a bite of the breakfast he had made them.

“Well I need a job and my own car if I’m staying, and Bethany, I intend on staying for a long time.” He smiled and she smiled back shyly.

“Well, I can help with the car and even the job, but I was hoping to go visit Tai first.” He nodded.

“I can hang around here till you get back.” She smiled at him. The understanding he had for her was even surprising him.

“I put my foot in my mouth yesterday I want a chance to talk. I like her, she’s good for Raiden. I’m hoping we can be friends.” It was his turn to smile because he knew Tai and he knew they would most certainly be friends, best friends.

“That’s more than possible, beautiful.” She nodded and continued eating. Something was bothering her. Something was telling her she wasn’t sure if it was a possibility, but he wouldn’t push her now.

Bethany

She stood outside Raiden’s house going over her apology a thousand times. Did she have to apologize? She wasn’t really sure, but she wanted to. She wanted Tai to know she wouldn’t cause problems for her and Raiden.

“Are you coming in?” She looked up to see Raiden standing at the door.

She nodded and walked towards the entrance of the house. “Is Tai here?” He smiled at her and pointed towards the porch.

Bethany walked that way and found Tai staring out into the meadow. “Hello, Tai.” Tai turned around and smiled at her.

“Hello, Bethany,” she replied.

“I’m sorry about yesterday.” Tai cocked an eyebrow at her. “I didn’t mean…”

“Stop.” Tai waved her off. “It’s fine. It was a shock at first, but I’m okay now.” Bethany let out sigh of relief.

“I’m glad Raiden found you. I hope we can be friends?” she questioned.

Tai’s smile brightened, “We can, of course, be friends. So I hear you and Raiden are a lot  alike,” she laughed.

“Excuse me?” Bethany said confused.

“The hotel sucks.” Tai winked. Crap, Bethany was busted. She laughed with Tai and nodded. “Well, good luck, he’s a good guy.” Bethany dropped her eyes she wasn’t ready to discuss Jordan and their living arrangement. Tai was amazing and Bethany wondered what happened. How did Jordan ever let her go?