The Year We Fell Down (16 page)

Hartley hitched himself closer to me then, his shoulder covering mine. His smiling mouth closed over my lips, and I stopped laughing. There would never be enough of his kisses. The best I could do would be to memorize the shape of his lips on mine, and the way he sucked gently on my tongue. It was hard to worry about much of anything while he kissed me. So this time, I didn’t panic when his hand slid down my body. I felt his fingers spread between my legs. I
really
felt them. And that fact made me want to shout with joy. “Okay,” I said shakily.

The next sound I heard was the quiet whir of the toy. And then he placed it against my body. It was different from anything I’d felt before. Like a shimmer of pleasure. “Oh,” I said, my stomach muscles tightening.

“That’s it…” he breathed, leaning closer to me.

His erection brushed my hand, so I closed my fingers around it. This earned me a grunt of satisfaction from Hartley. So I began to stroke him. His breath caught in his chest, and he made a noise in the back of his throat. A very sexy little noise.

Hartley was not too distracted, however, to continue his mission. The little vibrator slid downward. I held my breath.

“Okay?” he breathed.

I nodded because it was. A current of sensation began to gather down there, spreading throughout my core. I sank into the darkness of my eyelids. As Hartley touched me, the world shrank down to the size of our two bodies. I teased Hartley with my fingertips, and our kisses became sloppy and distracted. There was a tiny click, a small adjustment of the toy, and then the sweet shimmer between my legs gathered steam. “Oh,” I gasped.

“That’s not too much?”

I couldn’t even answer him. I could only arch my back off the bed, angling my body closer to his hands. “Oh…” I said again, beginning to see dots before my eyes. And then a tingle in my belly seemed to bloom, and I felt a starburst between my legs. Whatever sounds I made then, I couldn’t even hear.

“
Fuck
, yes,” I heard Hartley pant, and it made me remember to curve my lazy fingers more tightly around his shaft. I stroked him hard, and he made a strangled sound. And then, “Callahan, I…” The next thing I felt was a spurt of warm liquid against my hip, and in my hand. I slicked my wet hand down him one more time, and his hips jerked with satisfaction.

A moment later, the noise of the vibrator died as Hartley turned it off, leaving only the sound of two people breathing hard. Hartley put one beautifully muscled arm over his eyes. And since I wouldn’t be caught staring, I took a long look at his body, the rise and fall of his broad chest, and the now half-sagging member dipping towards my sheets.

Wow
. The full impact of what we’d just done began to sink in. With shaking fingers, I took a tissue off the bedside table and wiped off my hip.

“Sorry for the mess,” he said, his voice tight. His eyes were still covered.

“No problem,” I whispered. He still wasn’t looking at me, and I was starting to wonder why. I pushed his arm off his face, but he only turned his chin away, toward the wall. “What the hell?
Now
you feel guilty?”

He gave half of a laugh. “No way, Callahan.”

“Then what’s the matter?”

With a sigh, he reached for me, pulling my body across his, gathering me up on his chest. And when I looked down at his face, I was startled to find that his eyes were shining. When he caught me looking, he closed them. “It’s just… I wanted that for you,” he whispered. “A little less shit to shovel.”

My heart was fit to burst, for a dozen conflicting reasons. Fooling around with Hartley had been amazing, and God knows I’d wondered. But lying in his arms was the best thing ever, and I couldn’t say so.
I love you, Hartley
. Those words were on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them down. Instead, I said: “Thank you for that selfless act of research on my behalf.”

He cleared his throat. “You’re welcome. And my dick thanks you for letting him play along.”

My heart gave a squeeze, because those were not the words of love I craved. So I made a little joke, because that’s what I do when things get tense. “Do all guys refer to their dicks in the third person?”

Hartley stared up at the ceiling, his gorgeous face thoughtful. “Pretty much.”

We lay there quietly, our heart rates returning to normal. Hartley stroked my hair against his chest, and I tried not to worry about what would happen next.

“I need to ask you a question,” I said. Hearing my words, his face took on a wary expression, so I hurried on. “Hartley, what is
your
shit to shovel? Because you never say.”

He chuckled. “You noticed that, huh?”

“I did.”

He shifted then, turning carefully onto his stomach, folding his arms underneath his chin. We were no longer touching. “Thing is, Callahan, I don’t think I can talk about that tonight.”

“
Really
,” I said, flipping over onto my stomach too. “So all
my
shit is on the table, but not yours?” That didn’t seem fair. “You’re all up in my business…” Then I clapped a hand in front of my mouth. Even so, a bark of laughter escaped.

“What?”

I put both hands in front of my face. “I can’t believe I just said you were
all up in my business
.”

Hartley snorted. And then the two of us were shaking with laughter, side by side. And it was just like any other night’s joke, except naked.

Then, from the common room, I heard Dana open the outside door, arriving home. Hartley and I glanced at each other, clapping our hands in front of our mouths. As Dana moved about the common room, switching the television off, we shook with silent laughter. We didn’t stop until finally I heard the sound of water running in the bathroom. Even then, we were still gasping for air, and fighting off the rippled aftershocks of uncontrollable mirth.

Soon it became very quiet in my suite. Dana had gone to bed.

Hartley took a deep breath. “I think that’s my cue to sneak out,” he said. Slowly, he sat up, found his boxers and wiggled into them.

No
! I wanted to shout. But I held my tongue, and found his T-shirt, passing it to him. I pulled my own over my head. I didn’t want him to watch me putting on my other clothes, because it was such an awkward, hopping process. So I pulled the blanket at the foot of my bed up over me instead.

“Before you go, could you, um, push my chair into my room? I’m kind of stranded here.”

His eyes opened wide. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

I smiled, and hopefully it was convincingly untroubled. “No biggie. I didn’t need to go anywhere for a little while there.”

He blew out a breath, and I could feel it — that was the moment things got weird.

Hartley hopped into the living room, retrieved his second crutch, and then shoved my chair at intervals into the bedroom. When he made it all the way back to me, he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Goodnight, Callahan,” he said, one hand dropping to my knee where it lay under the blanket.

I couldn’t feel his touch, but I wanted to.

“Goodnight, Hartley,” I whispered.

He leaned back then, giving me a quick kiss on the nose. His face was serious, almost sad. “See you at brunch tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” I said as he rose to go.
Because that won’t be weird at all.

After the door closed again, I lay there for a long time, missing him.

Chapter Fourteen:
Give Us a Kiss

—
Corey

There was a polite knock on my door the next morning. Dana’s voice said, “Um, Corey? Can I come in?”

“Sure,” I said, yawning. It was getting late, but I couldn’t make myself face the day.

She walked into my room, looking around as if she expected to see something different. “So…what the hell happened?”

Uh oh
.

“Happened?” I asked, my face twitching into an unavoidable guilty smile.

She rolled her eyes. “Spill it, you. Because you are so busted.” Dana flounced over to my bed and sat down at the foot of it. “When I came home last night, one of Hart-throb’s crutches was on the living room floor, and now it’s gone. Was he in
here
?”

I put my face in my hands. “For a little while.”

Dana grabbed my hands and pulled them down. “Seriously? His girlfriend blew him off, and so he came across the hall to fool around with you? And where is he now?”

I exhaled. It all sounded so wrong coming out of her mouth. “That’s one way to put it.”

“Is there another way? Is he breaking up with her, or does he expect you to be his fuck buddy?”

“Dana! It isn’t quite as bad as that. You like Hartley.”

She looked sad. “I do like him. And I think he…” she flopped back onto my bed. “I don’t know what to think. The way he looks at you sometimes…” she shook her head. “I just don’t trust him. It’s like there’s a good Hartley and an evil one, and they’re always at war. I don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire.”

“Yeah,” I said. “But there’s a layer to the story that you don’t know.”

She sat up quickly. “What?”

“Well,” I swallowed. “I confessed something to him a few weeks ago, and…”

She stared at me, her dark eyes searching mine. “What is it?”

I took a deep breath, and I told her. Most of it, anyway.

“So…” she rubbed her temples. “That’s the weirdest, most romantic story I’ve ever heard. He talked you into fooling around, so you could find out if you can…?”

I nodded.

“…and it worked?”

My face was getting hot. “Did it
ever
.”

Dana hooted with laughter. “Oh my God. And then what?”

I took a deep breath. “Then he teared up. And then he left.”

Her eyes were the size of saucers. “I don’t even know what to make of that. But I do know you’re in trouble.”

“Why?” I whined, although I already knew the answer.

“Because you’ve just exchanged one heartache for another. Now you know how good it can be, but you want it with
him
. Do you have any idea what will happen now?”

It was the question I’d been avoiding since I opened my eyes that morning. “I think nothing happens now. Stacia will come back, and Hartley and I will pretend it never happened.” I swallowed. “It’s going to be awful, isn’t it?”

Dana nodded. “A hundred kinds of awful.” She looked at the ceiling. “You know, his mother asked me about you two.”

“
Seriously
?” I leaned forward. “What did she say?”

“We were doing a few dishes, and she wanted to know if you two were,” Dana made her fingers into quotation marks, “‘a couple.’ When I said no, she looked really disappointed. Then she said, ‘for a smart boy, he can be such an idiot.’ It’s not just me who thinks there’s something there.”

I shook my head. “His mother really hates Stacia, that’s all. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“If you say so.” Dana stood up. “Let’s go to brunch.”

“Only if you promise not to smile at Hartley. I’ll
die
if he thinks I spilled my guts already.”

“It will not be easy. But for you, I will try.”

Nervously, I followed Dana to the Beaumont dining hall forty minutes later. I’d stalled, hoping that he wouldn’t still be there. So we got there quite late, and Dana grumbled when she learned that there wasn’t any more smoked salmon for our bagels.

Wouldn’t you know, I spotted Hartley right away. Only one of the big tables was still occupied, and it was packed with hockey players, Hartley at the center of it all. Before I could look away, he gave me a quick wink.

“I saw that,” Dana whispered.

“Stop,” I muttered. “Let’s sit over by the window.”

Dana slid our tray onto a banquet, and I set down the newspaper crossword I’d been smart enough to bring with me. “One across is ‘half pint,’” I said. “I’d say a cup, but it’s four letters.”

“I grew up with the metric system,” Dana complained. “What’s the next one?” She bit into her bagel.

“A modern resident of Elba,” I said. “Six letters.”

“Syria!” Dana announced.

“Syrian,” I corrected. “Now we’re cooking with gas.” I scribbled in the clue. When I looked up at Dana, I could tell that she was eavesdropping. “What?” I whispered.

She shook her head. “I wonder what he told all of them?” she nudged her chin toward Hartley’s table. “When they asked how his birthday night was? You don’t think he’d tell them about…”

I shook my head. “He wouldn’t brag.”

Dana nodded slowly. “You’re right. I don’t quite understand what it is between you two, but I can’t see him gossiping like that.” She sipped her coffee. “He cares too much.”

Not necessarily
, I thought, picturing the way he’d snuck out. “Dana,” I dropped my voice. “He won’t tell because nobody brags about hooking up with the girl in the wheelchair.”