The Wrong Girl (22 page)

Lily laughed and bid Evan farewell, jubilant about her new job, but also thrilled that she now had such an effervescent, theatrical boss. Sasha was great, but she was so  . . . 
understated
. One thing Evan certainly was not.

With a half-eaten cheeseburger on her passenger seat and a caramel thickshake wedged between her thighs, Lily drove home, excited because Simone should be back by now.

The rehab place had no spots for now, apparently, so Simone had been staying at her mum's for the past week, to stay out of temptation's way, and be nurtured following the break-up and generally pretty shitty time. She'd come back this evening for an early-morning job tomorrow. Lily couldn't wait to see her, and had bought her a beautiful silver bracelet in Greece she wanted to give her.

Simone's mum was the original Earth Mother: she owned a small co-op and health food shop in Yamba, on the north coast. She chose to be called ‘Luna' over her actual name, Debbie, and signed off all correspondence with ‘Blessings to you', or ‘Love and light', a practice Simone had dabbled in, but wasn't able to commit to. It was the right place for Simone to be.

Spying Simone's BMW coupé in the driveway as Lily pulled up across the street, she realised that the feeling in her stomach had morphed from excitement to anxiety. She and Simone had not once discussed Jack since the split, but it was bound to come up tonight. They might have even got back together, Lily thought with a sharp intake of air. After all, Jack would no doubt be impressed with Simone's action to remedy things in her life, and maybe he was the forgiving type . . . 

Opening the front door, Lily hollered a big ‘Yoohoo!' and heard a delighted scream from upstairs, followed by rapid footsteps.

In moments, Simone, in leggings and a tight white hoodie, was on the stairs and racing down to greet her friend in the lounge room.

‘OMG, she's
home
!' she yelled before grabbing Lily, still clutching her shake and handbag, for a big hug.

‘How ARE you?' Simone asked emphatically, squeezing Lily tight.

‘I am so good, Sim. You won't believe what's just happened. I am so, so good.'

Simone pulled back, her hands still grabbing each of Lily's arms. ‘What?' she asked, smiling widely, eyes huge and pupils enormous. Lily quashed the thought that Simone had probably taken something for mood bounce. She wouldn't be so stupid – not now, not after she was trying so hard to stop all that.

‘I got a new job! Senior producer on
Iron Chef
!'

Simone squealed and clapped her hands.

‘Ohmygod, LIL! That is AMAZING! You were out of work for what, one week? Way to manifest, hun; you created that, you know. Oh! I'm so happy for you. We should celebrate!'

This was the part where Simone usually skipped to the fridge and grabbed some champagne, but obviously now she wouldn't. Only, right before Lily's eyes, she did, and it wasn't until she was reaching for the champagne flutes that Lily spoke up.

‘Um, Sim, I don't mean to play warden, but are you, should you be drinking right now?'

‘It's a
special occasion,
' she said with emphasis. ‘I think it's allowed this once.'

Lily bit her lip, watching her flatmate rip the foil from the top of the bottle, not sure where to go from here. Was she a bad friend to allow this? Or was she a bad friend to stop it?

‘Actually, maybe I shouldn't. I just had a thickshake and it will mix and I'll feel spewy,' Lily said, marvelling at her genius and subterfuge.

‘
Um,
I've seen you pour Red Bull INTO a thickshake before, I don't think you' – the cork was popped – ‘care about mixing dairy and fizz. Plus, babes, I never got to toast you for turning dirty thirty, and I damn well am now.'

Simone poured two glasses, replacing the bottle in the fridge and kicking it closed with a playful little tap of her foot. Lily knew she wasn't going to win here. She dumped her bag on the dining room table and sighed quietly.

Simone walked over to her and handed her a glass.

‘To your new job, and your flirty thirties. You're tanned and you're hot and you're smashing it. Love ya!'

They clinked glasses and Lily sipped the champagne, feeling sick to her stomach about letting someone trying to go clean have a glass of champagne on her watch.

‘
Oh
, I have
missed
you,' Simone cooed to the glass, savouring the taste in her mouth before placing the glass on the table. ‘Both of you.'

‘Okay, I have to ask or I will never forgive myself; are you meant to be drinking?' Lily blurted, acutely aware she was potentially igniting the wick of some powerful Simone dynamite.

Simone looked straight at Lily. ‘No. I'm not.' And she took her glass and poured the remainder of it into Lily's.

‘But I wanted the ritual and the fun, just for a second.' She smiled sadly. ‘I know what I'm doing, babe.'

‘
Jesus!
I thought I'd let you relapse or whatever it's called. So, how's it all going, Sim . . . how are you?' While Simone pulled out a chair to sit, Lily took a quick sip, not wanting to be the girl eating chocolate cake in front of the dieter, but now enjoying the champagne too much to stop. She sat down on the chair opposite and looked at her friend; still very skinny, she noticed, but slightly less . . . gaunt.

‘Yeah, better. I know I deserve a better existence and true joy, and pure self-love, and I'm dedicated to that . . . I was trying to replace real things, genuine things that were missing with partying and drugs, and I kind of always have.'

Lily nodded.

‘I found this great guy near Mum's, Dashi, and he's inCREdible, Lil. Like, he's this amazing yogi who studied in India, and he taught me that transcendental meditation I'd been wanting to do for ages, and I've been doing healing and yoga with him almost every day, and I truly believe I was meant to find him, you know?'

‘A spiritual saviour.'

‘Uh-huh. I wrote a huge post on him yesterday, you should read it. He's amaze, Lil.'

‘So will you drive up and see him still?'

Simone looked at her friend in a way Lily recognised from when she was confessing to having slept with men she shouldn't have.

‘Well, I'm kind of moving up there. To live with Mum for a while. The agency is willing to give me six months off, but I don't think I'll need it. I feel so much better already.'

‘You just opened a bottle of champagne so you could have a sip,' Lily said.

Simone nodded solemnly, her eyes big, her bottom lip pressing up over her top lip in a way that had been driving men wild since she was about thirteen.

‘And that's why I need to remove myself from ALL temptation. All of it. All my friends, work, men, clubs, booze, this city, the whole lot.'

‘Speaking of men, have you heard from Jack?' Lily said, as nonchalant as possible.

‘Mmm. So I didn't tell you this, but I had a bit of . . . an episode just after you left for Greece.'

‘Episode? Like back-to-the-hospital episode?

‘Not quite. I mixed too many things, basically, then went hard on the rosé, fucking idiot.
You
were away and the girls weren't answering, and so he was my SOS call, and he was amazing, Lil, he came straight over and was just the
best
. You know he's had his own drug battle, don't you? Hard to believe . . .'

Something began to twist and turn into the sides of Lily's stomach. A javelin, apparently.

‘He's a good man,' Lily said in earnest.

‘Yes, he is, isn't he, Lil?'

Simone was looking at her strangely, her head tilted on an angle, and a tiny smile was playing on her tightly pursed lips.

‘What? What is that look?'

Simone smiled in full and placed her chin between her hands, elbows on the table.

‘We talked about you a lot that night, actually. Or the following morning, really, once I had stopped all the vomming and was able to converse like a human being. And, well, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he had a little thing for you, hun . . .' Simone said, playfully.

‘What? Don't be stupid, Sim. What are you on about?' Lily's breath quickened immediately, she hoped not visibly.

‘Oo-oooh, bit defensive, babe!' Simone raised one of her perfectly thick, full eyebrows.

Lily crossed her arms and shook her head irritably.

‘You don't know what you're on about.'

Sitting up straight in her chair, Simone crossed one leg over the other.

‘I think you'd actually be a really cute couple; is that weird?'

Lily shook her head erratically and sipped deeply from her glass.

‘It's funny . . . I went out with Jack because I thought he would be my knight in shining, normal armour, and he kind of was in the end, like, literally a lifesaver.' She laughed. ‘But I was never present with Jack. I tried to go for Michael's opposite, then basically treated him how Michael treated me.'

‘Speaking of the devil . . .?'

Simone swallowed before she spoke.

‘I still have some . . . stuff I need to work on there. We're talking again, and, look, he has been making a
real
effort, Lil.'

So much for no men, Lily thought to herself.

‘He's helping me get better. He drove up to see me on the weekend, and met with Dashi, and, I don't know, if
he
can heal and
I
can heal, and we're in it together, I feel like, maybe this was all for a reason, in a fucked-up way, you know?'

‘So you could get back with Tony Soprano.'

Simone sighed.

‘I know it doesn't make sense. But I have to work it out for myself. All part of the process. And I trust the process. Whether he's in my life or not, I need to get this closure.'

‘I thought you were moving there to get away from men?'

Simone sighed, this time with frustration.

‘Where's that strong, powerful, earth-sister girl?' asked Lily. ‘The one who blogs about always moving forward and making sure you're happy and that you love
yourself
  before you attempt to love others and don't forget to eat wheatgrass, and teach people how they treat you and why not knit some socks for the homeless and the —'

‘I get it, I get it, stop!' Simone laughed.

‘I want you to get better, Sim. He's not right for you just now.'

‘There is
one
other thing, actually,' Simone said, suddenly very interested in chipping some candle wax off the table runner.

‘Go on,' Lily took a sip of her champagne.

‘I'm going to rent this place out. After Mum's, I'm thinking of relocating to LA for a while. Remember my friend Kitty? She's got this huge house there, and she's said she can get me some meetings, and I've always wanted to try it, you know?'

‘We're not going to be living here any more . . .' The truth and sadness of this realisation hit Lily hard. Ups and down, ups and bloody downs; it was like this day had been on some of Simone's pharmacueticals.

‘Are you mad at me? Please don't be, and it's only for now, you never know what will happen down the track, babe. I'll miss you too much!'

Lily looked up quickly to stop the wetness pooling in her eyes. ‘No! No, it's all good.' And it was, Lily realised. She was thirty now; she
should
be living alone, like a grown-up. No more bumming off Simone any more.

She cleared her throat, hoping the large lump would go with it.

‘When would you need me out then?' Lily prayed the answer was one that would make her life easier right now, not harder.

‘Um, well, I
am
actually showing two families through tomorrow morning . . .'

It was not.

‘Are you kidding? Am I going to be homeless by the weekend? Some five-year-old in my room when I get home from work on Monday?'

Simone laughed weakly. ‘Is two weeks okay?'

Well, it would bloody have to be, thought Lily, wondering if she had accidentally ‘manifested' her way into this by dreaming of living alone a few months ago. Fucking wishful thinking, she thought. Just be less alarming for once.

‘Totally fine,' she said, because deep down she knew it would be. She felt confident that this was all part of the Bigger Picture; new home, new job, new attitude, new Lily.

‘She ditched me, she ditched me, I can't believe she ditched me, she chose them calves' testicles, over music festivals —'

Alice was rapping disapproval at Lily's career move, even though it had been almost a month since Lily had been at
Iron Chef,
and Alice seemed to care about her music festival about as much as cats cared about swimming.

‘That's one tight jam, Jay-Z.' Lily was busy trying to find some scissors in the third drawer of the kitchen bench, which, like so much of her new home, was an illogical mess of rushed unpacking and this-seems-like-the-right-spot-for-this-for-now.

Alice had been reading magazines on the floor as Lily pottered for the past hour but now came to life. ‘What is
this
?' she said, holding up by her thumb and index finger a wet pair of undies that she'd found in the kitchen sink.

‘Relax, they're clean. I needed a plug and I couldn't find one.'

‘So you used undies.'

Lily turned to look at Alice, whose dark roots were angrily molesting her peroxide blonde. She seemed to prefer it that way.

‘Well, aren't
you
just a tall glass of judgy water? I am pretty sure you'd do the exact same thing if it was the first item you could find, which it was, cos my washing was on the sofa, which if you squint, you can just see in my living room all the way over there.'

Alice laughed, the joke being that the lounge backed onto the bench in the kitchen, which acted as a partition between the two ‘rooms'.

‘This really is the smallest apartment in the world, Woodfart.'

‘The real estate agent called it a view with a room. At least he was honest.'

‘View is good. View is worth it.' Alice walked over to the huge windows facing out to the sea and raised the blinds fully. She whistled in appreciation. It was a wet, wild, miserable day, but the angry dark waves with an ominous grey lid of sky were impressive.

Lily gave up on the scissors and attacked the stems of the flowers with a steak knife. Alice had brought them as her housewarming gift, along with a bottle of tequila and a multicoloured salad bowl. Satisfied, she jammed them into a jar that had been the home of some ready-made spaghetti sauce up until very recently and plumped them out. She really was so shit at this domestic stuff, she noted. Simone had been the perfect friend-mother for the past three years, and now Lily was being forced to know things about cleaning and cooking stuff. It was horrible.

‘So how's the line-up for the festival?'

‘Oh, who gives a shit,' Alice said and flopped down onto the sofa, which although Lily had spent $900 on it was far too stiff and small. She'd wanted one she could sleep on as she watched movies, or make out with boys on, but
that
required a three-seater, and her new home simply wouldn't allow such indulgent use of space.

‘I'm thinking of going on tour with Jesus. Not in a groupie capacity, although
Almost Famous
is
my all-time favourite movie and I would be an
incredible
fucking groupie, but as assistant stage manager. Can't tell if it's a great idea or a really shitty one. He's pushing me to do it, which is cute, I s'pose. Did I tell you they're playing Splendour in the Grass? Do you wanna come? We won't even have to sleep in a tent this time, because the band has apartments . . . come on. You
know
Kai will make it worth your while.'

Lily shook her head.

‘I won't be able to get time off. And I hated it last time. It rained, and Pete took mushrooms and went AWOL for two days. What a dick.'

‘Fine, don't come. But do you plan on having sex ever again? Can you at least come to a gig with me once in a while?'

‘One day. Hey, do you want popcorn? I feel like popcorn.' Lily set about putting a bag of microwave popcorn in the microwave and rinsing out Alice's salad bowl to serve it in.

‘Kilos of butter, please,' Alice said. A pause and then: ‘He's still on your mind, isn't he.'

Lily didn't answer straight away.

‘I just need to get over him, and I am subconsciously trying to do that.'

‘But you said the other week that Simone basically said you should be together! Blessing! Open gates!'

Lily took the still-popping bag out of the microwave and shook it around a bit before pouring it into the bowl.

‘I think we are both conveniently forgetting that Jack hasn't exactly been banging my door down.'

Lily was getting frustrated at Alice's ineptitude to see the electric fence around the Jack situation. She came around and placed the popcorn on the small glass coffee table Mimi had said Lily could use until she found one she liked.

‘He hasn't emailed? Called? Nothing, nada?'

‘Nope.'

‘Then email
him,
FFS!
'
Alice said, as she jammed two fistfuls of popcorn in her mouth and wiped her hands onto her black high-waisted jeans.

‘I'm not from your school of Stalk Men Til They Fall in Love With You.'

‘One email,' Alice said with a mouthful. ‘Ask him out for a mocha frappuccino.'

‘NO. If anything
ever
happens between us, and it really, really won't,
he
will need to start things so I don't forever live in guilt.'

‘And
this
is why you are eternally single.' Alice checked her phone for the time and sat up, tucking some of her wispy hair behind one ear with nails that about two weeks ago had sported a fresh coat of blue nail polish.

‘My overpriced beach parking is up. I gotta go.'

She stood up and put her green Paddington coat on, buttoning it up slowly, like she'd just learned how to do it.

‘Stop being such a loser. Just email him and say hi. That's not creepy, that's normal and friendly.' Alice slung her bag over her shoulder and took two handfuls of popcorn for the road.

‘Yeah, yeah,' Lily said, popping a few more pieces of popcorn into her mouth as she confirmed to herself she would do no such thing.