The Wright Brother (13 page)

When he finally took her lips, he claimed them like a brand. Tugging her bottom one between his teeth and suckling. She moaned, needing to get as close to him as possible. Wanting to feel him all over her.

Reaching for his shirt, she wasn’t gentle as she tugged it off, forcing them to separate so that she could toss it to the floor. With a growl he pushed off her, getting to his feet and for a second she panicked when she thought he meant to leave.

But he didn’t. His fingers fumbled on the buttons of his jeans as he slid them down and kicked them off.

Elisa placed a hand over her heart.

He wore no underwear. He was long and thick, and even in the darkness she could see that the very tip of him was pierced too.

She’d almost expected to see him covered in more tattoos, but he hadn’t added to the collection.

She looked up at him. Shadows danced through the room. But there was just enough streetlight that she knew he could see. Moving to her knees, she brushed her hair over her shoulders and taking a deep breath, undid her bra, and tossed it to the floor.

Elisa wouldn’t look at him when she reached for her underwear.

She was shy about her body. Not that she wasn’t toned or athletic, but she didn’t have the kind of large breasts men liked. They were small and perky, and what if he was disappointed?

His hand stopped her when she went to pull her panties down.

And gently pushing her back down onto the bed, he sat on his knees beside her and pulled them down her legs himself.

Her center ached, her breasts tingled, every inch of her felt like an exposed nerve. Like if he even breathed on her she’d combust.

His fingers danced over her stomach.

“So beautiful.”

And the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding suddenly expelled from her lungs in a slow whoosh, and she smiled.

He was too; he was so beautiful. But Julian wasn’t waiting around to hear her response.

Draping a heavy leg across hers, he rested his weight on his elbow, almost as though pinning her in, and proceeded to lick and nibble along her bellybutton for a while, so long that she began to giggle.

“Julian, I’m ticklish.” She smacked his shoulder.

Which made him smile in return. But then he went from teasing to serious, and his kisses began to trail languorously upward, moving right up the center of her until he got to the valley between her breasts.

And as he kissed her, she began to writhe and moan. Her body filling with heat and need, with desire she’d denied them for so long.

His mouth captured her left breast and she hissed, arching into his touch and raking her nails through his hair.

Julian was tender, taking his time. Increasing her desire with every touch, every kiss, moving his tongue along her flesh until she felt that she would die from the pleasure. He was masterful in his worship of her and she sang from his touch.

“Please,” she mumbled incoherently, undulating her hips until the center of her touched the hardness of him. “Please, Jules.”

He stopped moving, his gaze going to hers, and his beautifully callused fingers fluttered along her bicep as he rested the weight of his other hand against her throat.

“Say my name,” he signed.

“Julian,” she smiled as her vocal chords rubbed against his palm.

A visible shudder rippled through him. He kissed her deeply, and though he’d never be able to verbally talk with her, she heard his words.

Felt what neither of them seemed to be willing to say. Because this moment was so fragile, and yet too full. It was like birth, like opening her eyes and seeing Julian for the first time. Really seeing him.

“Condom?” he asked.

And she thought it was exceedingly adorable and totally clueless on his part not to have brought one himself, she shook her head.

“Pill,” she wrote the letters on his back.

With a happy sigh he slid deep into her and they moved together as one, and Elisa saw the truth for what it was.

Julian had been made for her from the very beginning. Crafted just for her. And though their paths didn’t always align as they should, they always intersected. Lying there in his arms, Elisa was sure of one thing.

Julian was her partner in every way, but there were still problems. He was still in school, and she in college. There’d be distance, but she believed deeply they could weather it because this was more than just lust. More than chemistry.

It was destiny.

And right before they shattered in each other’s arms, he asked her to say his name one more time.

“Julian. Julian Wright.”

She blinked her eyes open and then proceeded to do a long cat stretch. She was facing the window, Elisa vaguely remembered rolling over at some point during the night and him scooping her into his body so that every inch of her lay flush against every inch of him.

They’d made love.

For the first time in her life she really felt like she understood the definition of that word. And the little girl who grew up dreaming what her Prince Charming would someday look like and imagining what kind of wedding she’d someday have suddenly saw all the pieces click into place.

Not that she’d ever tell him so, but deep down, it felt right to think it.

Yawning loudly and wanting to talk about what’d happened, what this meant for their relationship, she realized he must have scooted back at some point. Patting his side of the bed, her heart leapt to her throat the moment it dawned on her that he hadn’t scooted back, Julian just wasn’t there.

Wide-awake now, she sat up and blinked, staring at his empty side of the bed for a solid ten seconds. Where had he gone? Was he in the house? What’d happened?

That final question finally kicked her numb brain into gear.

Kicking off the sheets, she called his name. “Julian!”

She knew he wouldn’t hear her, but she padded out into the open living room, uncaring that she was still naked as a jaybird. The sheet she’d laid over him last night was on the floor. But his shoes were gone.

Where in the hell was he? “Jules?” she asked with a thread of despair, even while she clung to hope that he was just out of sight somewhere.

She peeked into the bathroom. He wasn’t there. Her hands were shaking now.

Elisa even went so far as to open Chastity’s door.

A sinking, bottomless pit that felt a lot like the beginnings of heartache took hold of her when all she saw was an empty room and a made-up bed. There was one last place to check.

Opening the front door, she gazed out at the empty parking spot. A fresh blanket of snow had covered the asphalt where he’d parked, which could only mean he’d left hours ago.

Julian was gone.

Racing back to her room to grab her cell, she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a white envelope resting on the framed drawing he’d done for her of her and him in the hospital room what seemed like a lifetime ago.

No way had he left her a Dear John letter.

Just no way.

Not Julian.

He’d never do something like that to her.

Each step she took felt like a lead weight had wrapped itself around her feet. Her breathing was short and choppy when she finally tore it open.

His familiar, artistic scrawl greeted her eyes.

“Elisa,”

The first tear fell.

“I had to know. Had to know if what I’ve been chasing for so many years was real. You told me once that I didn’t know, couldn’t understand what I was feeling. And maybe you were right.”

A strangled sound spilled from her lips. Her head grew suddenly dizzy as she stutter-stepped back onto the bed, clutching the letter like her life depended on it.

“For an entire year you kept me away, and I think a part of me began to understand why. I even started to feel human again, feel okay with it. It wasn’t easy at first, it was like you’d ripped my heart out and had taken it away with you. I might see in only in shades of gray, but whenever I was with you it was like my world exploded with life. So maybe I clung to you because I needed that. I don’t know. All I do know is I’m sorry.”

It was like someone had shoved their fist down her throat, it was so swollen and thick and full of heat. All she could do was shake her head. Reading the letter with the vain hope that there’d be a silver lining even while intrinsically knowing there wouldn’t be a happy ending for her.

“Smile Girl, sometimes I think I’ve loved you all my life. Like I’ve stopped living my life because of how much I needed you. But this year apart helped me to see that I could survive without you.

“And then last night, I don’t know. I felt something I hadn’t felt in months. Desperation. Need. I wanted you to see me for who I was now. And last night when I held you in my arms and you said my name and I felt your laughter move through me, God, Smile Girl, it brought it all back.

“I’m so sorry for leaving you this way, but I can’t do this again. I can’t sit and wonder and hope. I’m still in high school, you’re in college. This could never work, no matter how much I might wish it were otherwise. I know that now.

“I came to you last night, Elisa, because it had to be you. I’m no Saint, but I held myself back from everyone, because it had to be you.

“And if you don’t understand what that means I don’t think I have the strength to explain it further. I’m sorry that I could never let you go. I’m sorry that I barged back into your life the way I have, and I’m sorry for what I’m doing to you now. More than you can ever know.

“But part of loving something sometimes means you have to let it go. I learned that lesson with my dad, I clung to his ghost to the point that I thought I would die from the pain. I can’t make that mistake with you. I won’t do that to you.

“I love you. I think I will always love you, but I’m finally ready to say good-bye.

Julian.”

A violent wave of nausea had her shoving off the bed and racing to the bathroom. She gripped the toilet bowl, gasping and dry heaving, feeling as though her soul was trying to forcefully expel itself from her body.

Nothing came up, but all she could do was curl against the wall and sob until there were no more tears left to be shed.

But gradually misery began to turn to rage.

He would not do this to her. Not like this, she deserved better than this.

Getting up, she brushed her teeth, took a comb to her ratty hair, and marched back to her room. It was past noon—she’d spent three hours in that bathroom like an idiot.

Yanking on whatever clothes she could find that smelled halfway decent, she snatched up her phone and called Lori.

She answered on the first ring.

“Elisa, hello. How are you, honey?” Her words sounded entirely too chipper and happy for how Elisa currently felt.

She frowned. “I’m fine.”
Not really
. “Is Julian there?”

“Oh,” she sighed, “well, you just missed him, sweetie. He’s out with Mandy.”

She squeezed her eyes shut as her insides grew cold. Telling herself not to ask. “Who’s Mandy?”

“Um. Well…” She drew out the words. “That’s his girlfriend, hun.”

Shaking her head as tears she’d thought she no longer had began to drip down her cheeks.

“Lisa?” Lori’s voice sounded strained and worried. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She sniffed. “Lori, what time did Julian get back home?”

“Back home?” she asked and suddenly Elisa understood.

Julian had snuck out and returned home before anyone in his house had realized it. Making her feel like she’d been nothing more than a dirty, little secret.

Anger spent, and feeling like all she wanted to do now was curl under her sheets and pretend like the rest of the world didn’t exist, she said, “I’ve got to go.”

“Are you coming home for Christmas?”

“No. Tell the boys I said hi.”

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure Christian and Roman are going to miss you. They talk about you all the time.”

And the only name that mattered to her hadn’t even been mentioned. Julian had written her off. It was what she deserved really. She’d pushed him to it. But only because she’d had to. Because she’d had no choice. It’d never been because she’d actually wanted it to be though.

“Sorry, Lori. I’m…” She hung up.

It was rude. But if she’d had to stay on that phone for another second, Lori would have heard her tears. Heard her heartache.

Julian had shattered her, but how could she hate someone whom she’d shattered first?

Two hours later a knock sounded on her door and for the briefest moment her heart had twisted with joy. Until she’d opened it to see Thomas smiling back at her.

“Hey, baby,” he said, rubbing his hands together and giving a shudder. “Cold out here, can I come inside?”

The day had gone from bad to worse.

She was still dressed in her canary-yellow sweatpants and pink Juicy tank top. Her hair was a rat’s nest on her top of her head, her nose was a bright red from crying and screaming for the past two hours, and in all that time she’d not thought of Thomas once.

He cocked his head as he glanced quickly over her shoulder. “What’s the matter?”

A good guy. That’s what he was. An honorable and good guy and she was about to do to him what Julian had just done to her.

She blinked.

Why couldn’t Julian have stayed out of her life forever?

“Elisa?” he asked, gripping her elbow and stepping inside, dragging snow in with him.

Extricating herself from his hand she wrapped her arms around her chest.

“Oh shit,” he drawled and drew his hand down his jaw. “Are you doing what I think you’re about to do?”

He’d grown his hair out longer, because she’d mentioned once how much she liked longer hair. But it’d never quite feathered out the way Julian’s would. Never seemed as natural on him as it had on Jules.

“Thomas, I—”

His blue eyes grew stormy. “What the fuck happened last night?”

She was sick to her stomach. Because last night, before Julian had shown up, everything had been right between them. Happy. Comfortable.

And now she couldn’t stand for him to touch her.

She shook her head. “I’m sorry.”