The World Without a Future (The World Without End) (22 page)

I'm stuck on something he said earlier—not that he was in multiple Havens before he landed in Hellspawn. "Pass me that wrench?" he asks. I look blankly at the pile of tools, but can't see them. I can't think. Something warm and rough touches my face, and I jerk, startled.

"Hey," Jesse murmurs, softly. "What's going on in that pretty head, Ren?"

His lips are soft and full—I noticed that the first day I met him. Full and utterly kissable. And it could take my mind off Finn, off whatever he's hiding from me. I lean forward and catch them with my own. For a second, Jesse is still, startled. But then his hands come around me, pull me tight to him, his lips moving against mine. He nibbles at my bottom lip, almost a tickle, and I shiver. I want to feel more than I do. I deepen the kiss, licking at his lips and into his mouth, teasing over his teeth, a soft thrust and retreat.

Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.

I pull away, and I almost apologize. Jesse touches his lips, staring at me with surprise in his eyes. "Wow," he says softly.

I look away. "Yeah."

It's awkward, sitting with him, when I can feel his eyes on me, the hunger in them no longer hidden. But I do, because Finn made it clear when he needed me to return. He talks about cars, and I pretend to be interested; I talk about Dustin, and he pretends he isn't jealous. It works nicely for the both of us, honestly. My nerves are stretched tight when it's finally time to leave, an anxious thrumming that makes my knee jerk.

"I should go," I say, finally, standing.

Jesse stands with me, watching me with curious eyes. "You don't like Finn."

I shrug. "He's been part of my life for a long time, not that I ever really understood him. But no, honestly. I don't
like
him. He's annoying as hell, and he drives me fucking crazy—he refuses to answer any questions, yet he demands that I trust him, even when what he's suggesting is completely crazy."

"Like right now? You being here?"

I stop short and stare at Jesse. A smile quirks his lips up, but he doesn't seem pissed.

"You should go, Ren. Finn is waiting."

I nod awkwardly and go on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "You aren't a bad guy, Jesse."

He laughs quietly at that as he pulls aside the razor wire and I slip out.

I find the priest a few blocks from Jesse's garage, but not close to Finn. I hesitate in the street, and two more in gray robes drift up behind me. Taking a deep breath, I force myself to walk forward. "What does she want?" I ask the giant bodyguard.

He doesn't say anything, just turns and glides down the sidewalk. I want to bolt—want to race back to the relative safety of Finn's home. Instead, I grit my teeth and follow the priests of the Blessed Order.

Lori is a few streets over, sitting on the sidewalk, with her robes billowed out around her. Even on the dirty street, she looks like a perfectly made-up doll, a tiny porcelain creature with flawless features and impossibly perfect hair.

"Sit with me, pretty girl."

"I like standing," I answer, and her teeth flash in her tiny face. It's not a smile. Gritting my teeth, I lower myself down next to her.

"Tell me. Do you think he's right? That the zombies are adapting and searching for new food—that they are deliberately targeting the West, trying to isolate us as they did in the East?"

I shrug. "I don't know. Giving the zombies thought and cunning seems a little far-fetched and reaching. But Finn believes it, and my brother agrees. I trust my brother. I suppose that's where I stand."

"But you aren't doing anything to help Haven 18."

"What you do to survive is no one's business but your own. We have our own priorities," I snap shortly.

The little priestess smiles, and this time, there is genuine amusement there. It's not a grimace or a threat. "That I do believe. Finn O'Malley has always had unusual priorities."

I sneer. "The Order hardly has the right to point fingers about odd values. You kill humans."

"We recreate the sacred days," she says with calm conviction.

That's what terrifies me about Lori. Not that she's of the Order—Omar didn't scare me and he is their High Priest. It's that she believes, where others don't. Omar is there for power—Lori’s here for conviction.

I glance at my watch, pissed that it's already almost twelve thirty. Whatever he wanted, I'm late. I stand up and dust off my pants. "As much as I enjoy chatting, I have to go."

"Yes. Yes, I suppose you should. Tell him that I allowed it."

My blood runs cold, and I go still, staring at her. Lori's eyes gleam with madness. I shiver despite the heat. "What did you say?"

"I am letting you go. Because for whatever reason, O'Malley wants you. Remind him that he owes me—not the Order, but me—for my leniency. I will save you, as long as I can, for the sake of Finn's goodwill toward the Order."

I don't understand—it doesn't make sense. None of it does, but then nothing around Finn ever does. I scramble away from her, and the priests that surround us drift back, letting us past. Lori laughs, her voice chasing me down the street. "Tell him what I say. The Order has marked you, First!"

I break into a run.

*

I wish I had seen it—the world before Day One. It sounds amazing.

Nurrin Sanders

**

We should have died. Some days, I wish we had.

Finn O’Malley

She's late. I can tell as I unlock the front door—the house feels empty and abandoned.

This seriously fucks up my plans. I open the door and step aside. Lissel glides in behind me, all sleek curves and
fuck me
smiles.

This isn't gonna go like I wanted. I miscalculated, and someone will get hurt.

"Where is your little friend?" Lissel asks. Her tone grates on my nerves. Makes me grind my teeth.

"She's none of your fucking business," I say.

Her eyebrows go up at that, but I'm kissing her before she complains. Her arms are around me, and I remember why I used to fuck her. She throws everything into the kiss with no inhibitions or hesitation. In any other situation, I'd be in. I'd be kissing her back, ready for sex. As it is, I go through the motions, but my mind is somewhere else. Wondering where the hell Ren is.

If Lissel notices my inattention, she doesn't say. She just reaches for my belt, fumbling it open.

Shit, if I don't get this stopped soon, Ren’ll be walking in on more than I expected her to. Although it'll do its job, and that's all it really matters at this point. All that I can let matter. She has my pants open, hand clutching my dick. I groan, my head falling back as she drops to her knees and takes me in her mouth. With her head bent, all I see is blonde hair and, for a moment—just a moment—I can forget that isn't right. Then the sensations overwhelm me, and I don't fucking care who it is. All that matters is that she doesn't stop. Fingers cup my balls, rolling them as she sucks me to the back of her throat. Somehow, I've clutched her hair and my fist, pulling her along. She moans, vibrations running along my dick. With a curse, I pull her to her feet. Lissel laughs, wiping her mouth.

I need to slow this down. There needs to be some kind of delay, a way to wait for Ren. I whip around, pinning her against the wall and grabbing the bottom of her shirt. Her body jerks when I rip it, and her eyes are angry, but hungry. I yank on her bra, and her full breasts spill out.

She’s moaning, whimpering and shifting against me as I pinch her nipples, kissing her neck. She jerks up her skirt and reaches for me.

Too fast, too fucking fast.
She’s got me in her hand, a tight hot fist stroking my dick, and I can feel her wet heat. I thrust, and she laughs as I slip along her folds. She shifts, just enough that I don’t slide deep into her. I growl, remembering why I quit finding my way to her bed—she’s too damn manipulative. Everything is a game to her.

I grab her hips, angle, and thrust into her. She screams, her body spasming around my dick as I fuck her.

Distantly, I know this is fucked up. I know I’m taking it too far. I know that this
wasn’t
the plan. But that’s distant—all I can focus on is the white hot pleasure running through my body, and Ren’s voice, ringing in my ears as I thrust into Lissel. I’m chasing my own orgasm—fuck Lissel and what she wants, she got me here despite my resolve, I’m going to get everything I can out of it.

Her nails are digging into my back, and she’s panting as one leg wraps around me, meeting every thrust. I slam into her, and she shrieks, clawing at my back as her body tightens around me. My release slams into me, and my head drops back as I let everything go and surrender to the pleasure.

When I can see and think, I realize Lissel is smiling, a smug expression that makes my blood boil in a completely different way. I drop her leg, and she slides down the wall, tugging her bra into place while I tuck my dick away. I take a deep breath and turn to look at Nurrin.

She’s staring at us with an expression I don’t think I’ve ever seen on her face—disgust and loathing and fury. I stare at her, my face blank, masking my fascination. Finally, she shakes herself and twists to look at me. "What the fuck are you doing?"

There’s a dizzying rush of relief. She might be furious, but she’s using that to play the emotions I need from her—she’s using it to get us out.

"Scratching an itch," I say, pushing away from Lissel. "How was Jesse?"

Something flickers in her eyes that makes my blood run cold. I step toward her, and she skitters back a step.
Fuck.
Maybe I wasn’t the only one with screwed-up plans. "Did you fuck him?" I ask, my voice low.

Her gaze darts to mine, disbelieving. "Are you serious? You think you have a single inch to stand on?"

"Don’t worry," Lissel purrs, approaching me on one side, "we’re just old friends catching up."

Nurrin gives the alderman a disdainful look and sniffs. "Bitch, do you really think I care who he fucks? I just care that we’re still trapped in this hell hole."

Lissel goes stiff, and I finally look at her. "That’s true. Old friends, and all. Help me out, Lissel."

"Fuck you, O’Malley," she hisses, outraged.

Nurrin coughs, muttering, "You already did that." I shoot her a dirty look. Then I focus on Lissel.

"This doesn’t have to be difficult, Lissel. Staying in 18 is going to be messy. Do you remember, what I told you about messy?"

A sliver of fear flickers in her eyes, and then she shakes her head, stubbornly. "I can’t help you. I won’t risk the Haven."

I make an impatient noise, and Lissel flinches. "It's not just you, you jackass," she snaps. "If it was, then I'd say fuck it and open the gates. But it's not—every time the gates open, we risk a breach. I can't authorize that, even if I wanted to."

"Every Haven has a back door," Ren says, her voice sharp and disbelieving. I know she's thinking about the tunnel we used to escape Hellspawn.

Lissel is shaking her head. "We sealed it."

"Why on earth would you do something that fucking stupid?" I demand, sharply.

"Because we have the Hale Hall. I know Melinda showed you, so you have to know we'll hide before we run."

I shake my head, furious. Look at Ren over Lissel's blonde hair. The alderman is waiting, almost impatiently watchful, for my next move.

I don't have a lot of options. "Get my bags."

She nods, and ducks into the back of the house. I reach behind me then lean into Lissel's space. "I didn't want to do it this way," I murmur.

"Finn, you need to accept this. Running won't work this time—and whatever that girl is dragging you out to, it's not worth it. You can survive here—even if your ties in Haven 1 have dried up, you have a place here. I'd make sure of it."

She doesn't get it. She never has. That's the problem—she wants to give me something that no one can. Stability and a place to belong, for fuck's sake. What does that even mean in a world like ours?

I stare at her and shake my head. Lean in to kiss her quickly, because I don't dislike Lissel. I just have priorities. And she isn't one.