The Woman He Married (47 page)

As he moved the ring between his fingers, the diamonds sent reflections of light dancing across the front of his stark white shirt. How long had it been since she’d worn it? How long had she suffered in silence without him noticing, or even caring? He sighed, adding the ring to the other pieces and replacing the lid.

With both cufflinks donned, John checked his watch then started through the bedroom before coming to a screeching halt at the door. Back in the bathroom, he retrieved the white box from the trash. He turned it over in his hands, reading the label. As he did, the box rotated onto its side, allowing a long white stick to fall out. Picking it up, he studied the symbols intently.

“I’ll be damned,” he whispered. Absently, he set the box down on the counter and stared into the mirror, trying to make sense of what he’d just learned and what it meant to him, to them. “Jocelyn!”

Removing the lid from Josie’s jewelry box again, he slipped her wedding ring into his pocket. The phone on his belt vibrated, and he answered.

Andy’s hurried voice rang loud and clear. “You’d better get a move on.”

“I’m on my way, but I have to make a stop first.”

* * * *

The small conference room was ripe with tension as Brian, Gina, and Sandra watched Josie during their staff meeting, waiting, she knew, for her to talk about something other than the legal business at hand. Only, she was in no mood to oblige. Swiveling absently in the brown leather chair, she tapped her fingernail on the oval mahogany table separating her from her colleagues. She hadn’t shown up for work yesterday and today she’d neglected to offer any explanation.

The door behind her opened.

Brian looked up and frowned. “Do you mind? We’re trying to have a meeting—and besides, don’t you have someplace to be?” he said, and the room became unnaturally quiet.

“I would like to have just a few minutes alone with my wife,” John said, his voice filling the silence.

Josie spun around in open disbelief. “John, what are
you
doing here? The press conference starts in twenty minutes.”

“I know, but I need to talk to you first,” he said. Then looking at Gina and Sandra, and back to Brian again, he reiterated, “Please, just a minute alone.”

A nod from Josie to her co-workers let them know that it was okay to leave her and John alone to talk.

* * * *

When they’d all disappeared behind the door leading to an adjoining office, John knew he couldn’t waste any time.

“I know you’re pregnant. I saw the pregnancy test.”

“You went through my
trash
?”

“My cufflink fell and… It doesn’t matter how I found out.” Pausing to take a breath, he checked his thoughts before continuing.
“That night on the island?”

“Yes,” Josie answered, confirming the baby was his.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I only found out this morning and really didn’t think I should bring it up before your press conference. Besides, I needed some time to think.”

“Think about what? Jocelyn, don’t you see this baby’s a sign—a sign that we need to work things out, to put our marriage back together. I was prepared to let you go, but I can’t. Not now.”

“John, please. Now is
not
the time to talk about this.”

“I don’t give a damn about the election or the press conference; I just want you. I need you.” He stepped forward, pleading, “Come with me now, stand by me, I don’t want to do this without you.”

“I don’t…know.” Josie looked into his eyes. He could see uncertainty written all over her face.

The phone on his belt vibrated and he pushed the speaker button.

Andy’s voice crackled from the other end.
“
John, where the hell are you
?”

He brought the phone to his mouth and spoke while keeping his eyes intently focused on Josie. “I’ll be right there—just give me a minute.” He let the phone fall to his side and continued. “Goodness gracious, Jocelyn, can’t you see how much I love you?”

What?
He finally said it! Josie could hardly believe her ears.

* * * *

John continued. “Maybe I didn’t always, or maybe I just didn’t realize, but one thing I
do
know. I always wanted to be married to you. From that first night, I knew you were like no other woman…that I had no idea what was going on in that head of yours, but that I’d spend the rest of my life trying to figure it out.”

She felt the beginning of a smile trying to form on her shocked face.
After all this time she finally knew that John had wanted
her
, not Trisha.

John stepped closer. “I love you, and I think you still love me, too. I am
so
sorry for what I did, and for being too selfish to see what an incredible, talented woman you are.” He moved closer still. “Don’t tell me I’ve lost you forever—not now, now we’re finally beginning to understand each other.”

He was talking
so
fast, dispelling her misgivings regarding their marriage all at once, that she couldn’t wrap her head around what he was saying. Josie shook her head, unable to respond. She did love him, but had concluded that he didn’t feel the same. Even so, she’d considered taking him back, but hadn’t expected to make that decision today, much less this second.

“I can’t—” was all she managed to choke out.

John’s fervor slowly drained from his countenance as Josie desperately tried to find the right words to explain how she felt, that she loved him too but needed more time. They wouldn’t come.

“
Hey, big brother, it’s now or never. Get your ass over here
.”

The phone in John’s hand looked as if it had suddenly grown heavier as he lifted it to his mouth. “I’m on my way,” he said, giving her one more beseeching glance.

Josie searched her feelings, trying to come up with an answer but, again, she wasn’t sure. All she could do was shake her head.

John’s face went blank—cold—as he backed slowly away and then disappeared through the doorway.

When the door closed behind him, Josie let out the breath she’d been holding as her heart sank to the pit of her stomach. Brian’s office door flew open, and Gina and Sandra tripped over each other as they rushed into the room.

Shooting Sandra a
get-the-hell-out-of-my-way
look, Gina said, “Girlfriend! What are you doing? Go after him.”

“I, um…” Josie clutched her abdomen, feeling her breakfast threatening to reappear.

“He loves you and—” Gina stopped, her expression turning capricious, “you’re
pregnant
? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. It’s John’s, right?”

Josie regained her composure at the insinuation.
“Of course.”

Sandra gave her a sheepish look. “He
did
appear rather insistent that he loves you—it seems a shame to throw your marriage away after—”

Gina cut her off with a reproachful glare.
“Back off, little sister.
I think we all know what
your
motivation is here, and
he’s
standing right in this room.” Gina arched an ebony eyebrow at Sandra while jabbing a thumb in Brian’s direction.

Josie pressed her palm to her forehead hoping the pressure would add clarity to her dilemma.
What does my heart tell me?
she
asked herself.
I have a husband who loves me. I have a husband who
love
s me!
No longer having to question his love for her, how long was she going to let pride and anger keep her from seeing what was truly important?
We have three children and one on the way. Plus, God help me, I love
him
, too.
She looked to her best friend, the resolution wearing strong on her face.

Gina asked, “Do you want me to drive?”

Josie breathed in deep, smoothing down the front of her purple and gray argyle vest, the hem of her purple satin blouse peeking casually from the ribbed bottom over her charcoal-gray trousers. Tucking was out of the question today. A fourth baby, she’d be in maternity clothes by next week. “Let’s go.”

Gina brushed past Brian as she raced off to collect her purse. Josie registered his presence for the first time since John’s hasty retreat. Leaning against the terracotta painted wall next to a framed replica of the Bill of Rights, hands shoved into his pockets, Brian had been stoically watching the drama unfold. His eyes held no sparkle for Josie today.

“Brian?” In all the chaos, she’d forgotten that her decision affected him too.

“You’re pregnant,” he said, his voice edged with contempt. After shooting Sandra a
that-will-be-all
command with his eyes, she cowered on her way out, and he continued, “How long have you known?”

“A couple of days, but I didn’t know for sure until this morning.” Josie felt like she needed to explain. She couldn’t let Brian think she was playing both sides of the net. “It was only one time and—”

Holding up a hand, Brian interrupted her. “You don’t have to explain. He’s your husband,” he said, arduously. “The baby doesn’t have to change anything. You don’t have to go to him.”

“Brian, I have three children and a fourth on the way. We both know that I—we—would just hold you back. How can you have any idea what acquiring an instant family will mean to your life, your goals?” With a sudden burst of clarity, she added, “It’s time for both of us to move on, to let go.
Once and for all.”

He stepped forward. “I love you, Josie.” Laying his hands on her shoulders, he moved them down her arms, and locking her fingers with his own, squeezed tight.

“I love you too. I’ll always love you. But this isn’t just about you or the kids.” Josie forced her gaze to meet his, conveying what was truly in her heart.

“You still love him,” he breathed.

“Yes.”

He put his palm to her cheek. Josie closed her eyes and leaned into the warmth of his embrace. She couldn’t believe she was choosing John over Brian for the second time.

At least this time she got to say goodbye.

* * * *

Putting all the weekends she’d sat in the hot sun at Talladega fantasizing she was driving the car kicking Dale Earnhardt Junior’s butt to good use, Gina drove Josie’s minivan with all the precision of the adrenaline junkie that she was. Two blocks from the Double-tree Hotel, Gina slammed on the brakes behind a little Chevy truck jacked up on tracker tires, a confederate flag the size of
Texas
blowing out of the bed and an “American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God” sticker on the bumper.

“What’s going on?” Josie asked, like Gina could possibly see up ahead any better. “We’re going to miss it!”

“Like hell!” Gina shifted into low gear and revved the engine before letting up on the brake and pushing the accelerator to the floor. Tires screeching, she swerved into oncoming traffic, cutting off a Mercedes. Josie groped for something to hold on to while her stomach rolled up into her throat. Circling around the bottleneck, Gina recklessly weaved through traffic on the winding streets before coming to a screeching halt in front of the hotel.

Josie peeled her shaking hands from the dashboard. “And you think
I
make irrational decisions?”

“I don’t know what you’ve been complaining about all this time; this minivan handles great,” Gina said, with a flip of her hair.

Josie surveyed the vehicle that had been the bane of her existence for so long. “That’s funny,” she said. “Suddenly, neither do
I
.”