The Wizard (31 page)

on your wonderful horse and slew a score" "Not as many as that, Your Majesty." "A score at least with your arrows, and we were shooting arrows too, with the maids we'd taught to shootor anyway with the ones who had stomach enough for itwe kept hoping that one would be him, and we'd see him and put an arrow into his eye. It didn't happen, but that was what we hoped." "I've wondered about these things," I told her. "The Angrborn were cast out of Skai because they were inferior. Not because they were evilmany of the Giants of Winter and Old Night were as bad or worse. Because they didn't measure up in some fashion. It may have been because they had lost the ability, which the Giants of Winter and Old Night certainly have, to change size and shape. Having lost it, they may have been judged unfit for Skai." "You were there." Seeing what was coming, I did not nod. "Could you do that then? Turn into an eagle or a bull. Oror be smaller than Mani." I smiled. "Who'd catch and eat me, and serve me right, too. Can't you see how foolish this is, Your Majesty?" "You were a very poor liar before you went to Skai. You aren't much better now." I explained that nothing I had said had been a lie, that it would indeed be foolish to make myself smaller than Mani. "Can you do it?" I shook my head. "No. No, Your Majesty, I cannot. Am I lying now?" Setting my soup bowl in my lap, I raised both hands to Skai. "Valfather, be my witness. I cannot do either of those things." "You're not lying, but you're holding something back." No doubt I sighed. "When I came back, the Valfather required an oath, one I dare not break. I had to swear I'd use none of the abilities I'd been given there. I gave it. Do you think that was cruel of him?" "We doubt that he is ever cruel," Idnn said, "but you must think him so." "I don't. He's wiser than any mere man, wiser even than the Lady, though she's wise beyond reckoning. He knows how much harm such powers can do here. Remember Toug?" "Of course." "In his village, people worship the Aelf. It's a false worship, and it does harm to them and their neighbors. Isn't the Most High God as high as the Valfather?" Idnn said, "We'd always understood he was higher." "That's right. But there are those who say he's lower, inflicting on the Valfather such humiliation as they cannot conceive. If I were to use the powers he gave, there might spring up a cult to rival his, with worshippers claiming I was his superior. He'd be humiliated, and they'd be as far from the truth as those people in Glennidam. As it was, his kindness to me exceeded all reason. He let me take Cloud." I set aside my bowl and rose. "We've talked enough, Your Majesty, surely. May I go?" "Eat your meat and let us eat ours, and you may go with our blessing, if we may go too." I must have gawked at her like a jerk. "Are we so weighty? Your arms and armor will outweigh us by a stone, and your saddle's big enough for two, when the second's our size. Besides, Cloud's carried us before." I fumbled for words, and at length managed to say, "Your Majesty will be in some danger." She smiled; Idnn had always had a charming smile, with a hint of mockery in it. "Our Majesty is in danger here, Sir Able. Our Majesty will be in less on your wonderful horse's back, with you to protect us, than Our Majesty would be in here, with Sir Able and his wonderful horse gone." "Sir Svon would not like to hear that." Idnn nodded. "Nor need he, unless you tell him. But really, Sir Able. He is wounded, and not such a fool as to rate himself with you if he weren't. Do you think he has spoken to the Valfather as a knight to his liege? Do" "I hope he has," I told her. "He should have. Out of my ignorance I neglected his training when he was my squire. I didn't realize at the time how badly I was neglecting it, but I can't believe Sir Ravd neglected it at all. If he didn't, Sir Svon has talked to the Valfather as his knight." Idnn rose; and though she was small, she seemed tall at that moment. "We are properly rebuked. Rebuked, we remain a queen. Take us with you. We ask a boon." I knelt. "A boon that does me far too much honor, Your Majesty. I was . . . Your condescension stunned me." "As your courtesy gratifies us. Perhaps it would be best if we mounted first, then took our foot from the stirrup. But here is our meat." It was not quite as easy as that, of course. I had to call Cloud, and saddle and bridle her with Pouk's help. "She'll be tired," Idnn said; and I thought that some small part of her regretted her decision. "Not she, Your Majesty. She might be ridden in war a long day through, yet remain fresh enough for this." Cloud's thoughts had confirmed my words before I spoke them. "May we stroke her?" I nodded, and she caressed Cloud's muzzle very gently, as all who know horses do. Uns brought my saddlebags; I told him I would leave them with him, since we would be returning in an hour or two. They cannot have weighed as much as Idnn, but they must have come near it, and I left my lance with Uns as well. "If Your Majesty will do me the honor ..." I knelt with linked hands to help her. She did, but sprang up so lightly that I doubt she required the least assistance. Having mounted first, she sat before me. I would guess she had planned it, wishing me to ride as I did, with the perfume of her hair in my nostrils, embracing her when Cloud mounted that steep of air none but she could see. Might I have had her? Few men know less of human women than I do, and it may be she only wished for me to want to. She did not speak until the steep ended and we galloped at a level, with Gylf running ahead and wood and plain unrolling beneath us. Then she said, "Oh, this is grand!" and breathed again, as my sword arm told me. Of all the times I rode above Mythgarthr, I recall that one best: the unnatural warmth of the wind, and the glooming towers of the snow clouds to the west. Lesser clouds with the moon behind them, filling Skai with silvery light. A queen before me, and the Valfather's castle floating among the stars. Idnn's black velvet gown, her diamond diadem and perfumed hair. The soft pliancy of her waist, which made me desire her so much I took my arm away. "Why do you ride to Utgard, Sir Able?" "I won't, Your Majesty, unless it happens so. We're retracing the War Way in search of our pursuers." "Shouldn't we have seen them by now?" She pointed. "On the horizon those are the battlements of Utgard, surely." I agreed, and urged Cloud forward. Soon the wind grew chill. Idnn drew her cloak about her, and Gylf stopped panting. Twice we circled Utgard; a few lonely lights still shone, but we rode so high that no one there could have seen us. A little snow fell, and Idnn shivered and begged me to hold her again. I did, and drew my cloak around us both. "We thought our velvet too warm all day, and too warm even by night, but wore it for its mourning color. NowWhy is your dog leaving us?" Gylf's deep-throated bay had reached us, borne on the still air. "He's scented something," I explained, and sent Cloud after him. "From way up here?" Idnn sounded incredulous. "He can't possibly sniff the ground!" "I don't know what is possible to him, Your Majesty. But you've hunted deer and the like. Haven't you ever seen your hounds course with their heads high?" "On a hot trail? Yes. Yes, often." "That's because the scent is in the air. It's not a man's feet that leave the scent. If they did, the best dog in Mythgarthr couldn't track a man in new boots. It comes from the groin and under the arms, mostly. Some settles, and some hangs in the air and blows away or drifts, which is why even the best hounds put nose to the ground on a cold trail." "He's lower than we are, but not much." "Because he has to go no lower to catch the scent. I doubt that he's following one man, or even two or three." "They didn't go by the War Way." "No," I said, and it was my turn to point. "See that lighter streak? That was the road they followed, I think." "Then they can have nothing to do with us." I shrugged; she could not have seen it, but perhaps she felt it. "We're not camped by the War Way, Your Majesty." "No. In the place Hela told us about." Idnn was silent a moment. "We see what you mean." "I meant no more than I said." "There they are! Look under the trees." Far ahead Gylf had halted, and it seemed to me that he was looking at me. I shook my head, hoping he could see it. "Are we going back now?" "As soon as I get a closer look." "You'd like to fight, wouldn't you? You'd surprise them while they slept, if we weren't here." It was true, but I denied it. "But wewe're glad we are. They're not our subjects, really. They won't obey us. But they were his, and we ..." "You're their queen, whether they'll obey you or not." "Yes." She sounded grateful. "We can wake up a few and tell them so, Your Majesty. It'll be dangerous, but I'll do it if you want me to." She sighed. "They will only say that they serve King Schildstarr. No." "I think you're wise. The time may come, but this isn't it." I whistled for Gylf, and we rode away. "Did you count them?" Reminded of Sir Ravd, I shook my head. "We did, more than two score. There were probably more among the trees we didn't see." I said, "We won't fight them unless we have to." "You and Sir Svon and Sir Garvaon." "Yes. Your father, too, and His Grace. Sir Woddet and Sir Leort, with the archers and men-at-arms. Also Heimir and Hela, and the servants." "Against four score Angrborn?" "Against whatever number we face. Gylf too. Gylf's worth a hundred good men, Your Majesty." "We want you to promise us something, Sir Able. We want you to promise you'll let us talk to them first. Will you?" "I will, Your Majesty." I felt my heart sink, although I knew that she was right. "As you've helped us, we will help you. You're not the only one to give a pledge to the Wanderer. Remember what we told you about Hela?" "That she'd bring your subjects to do homage? Yes, Your Majesty. I haven't forgotten that." "That the women are still my subjects. What you told me of the giants in Skai did nothing to allay my fears." I knew I could have said more and frightened her worse. "Would Hela do it if she thought they might harm me?" I laughed to think she expected me to fathom a woman's heart. "I can't say. I'll stand by if you want." She shook her head. "If they are ours, we are theirs, and we must trust them." Then I wished we were not in the saddle, so that I could kneel to her.

CHAPTER TWENTYFIVE LOST

The unnatural warmth had left us, and the air lay so thick with freezing fog that I could not see my outstretched hand. Vil came, found wood for us, and rekindled the fire. Pouk asked whether he should saddle Cloud; I told him no, to wait until the fog lifted. Marder and Beel came. I offered the same advice, and they agreed; Beel said he thought the fog more than natural, to which I said nothing. Marder said, "You don't think so, Sir Able? Tell us." "I consider the fog wholly natural." Beel shook his head. "You know more of wizardry" "No, My Lord." "Than I, but I can't agree. Thiazi's magic has created it. I've tried to counter it. I admit I've had no success." Marder tugged his beard. "I don't know you as well as I want to, but I know you well enough to feel sure you have a reason for saying what you do. What is it?" "I rode back to Utgard late last night, Your Grace." He nodded. "Her Majesty told us." "There was no fog, but there were a few lights high in the keep, and one a bit lower. We liked the warm weather." Recalling Hela and Heimir, I added, "Or most of us did. But the warmth we liked too much to question was Thiazi's work, I would say. After Her Majesty and I returned, he ceased his effort and winter closed its jaws on us again." Marder nodded. "Chilling the air. That would do it." Beel nodded too, I think mostly to himself. "No wonder I couldn't counter him. He wasn't doing anything." "Can you raise a wind?" Marder asked. "Yes. Of course." "That should clear it off." Marder stood up. "We'll wait here until it's gone, but we should be ready to leave as soon as we can see." Together they disappeared into the blank gray around us. "I'll be here forever if they mean it," Vil whispered. I asked about Toug. "Better'n he was. You think them ladies Hela's fetchin' might help, Master? They knows herbs men don't, sometimes." "I agree, and maybe they can. But how is it you know about Hela's errand, Vil? Did she tell you?" "No, sir." His empty sockets stared into an obscurity no adept could lift. "I wasn't, listenin' in, I swear." "You would never do such a thing, I hope." "Well, I might. Only I didn't. I was busy settin' up for Master Toug. He's mendin' like I said, only he's shamed, Master, to talk to you. He want's to come 'round, only he's that shamed. He won't hardly talk to Sir Svon, even." Pouk cleared his throat and spat. "I been tooken aback meself, Vil. Who ain't? We might rag him now an' then, I mean Uns an' me might if we knew what 'twas, which I don't. Only we wouldn't mean no harm. Would we, Uns?" "I woun't. Nosar! Him's Squire Toug, Pouk." "If he won't come to us," I said, "we've got to go to him. But I doubt that it's kidding he's afraid of. Have you stolen while you were here with us, Truthful Vil?" "No, sir!" Vil held up his hands. "Not nothin', sir. I wouldn't steal from you, Master. Ever. You can search me, or have your men here do it. Whatever way you choose." I smiled. "Much good that would do. If you've stolen and your conscience pains you, you've only to bring it back. You won't be punished." "I wouldn't never steal from you, Sir Able. You've my word on that." "Then go," I said. When Vil had gone, Uns asked what he had taken. "I don't know, but I could see Gylf didn't trust him, and he knew about Hela's errand." "Wot's dat, Master?" Pouk answered. "Gone to fetch ladies is what he said." I told them that I wanted my mail cleaned, and all the horse gear well washed with saddle soap, which put an end to their gossiping. When they were busy, I took Gylf aside and asked what Vil had taken; but he only said, "Don't know," and "Don't see"this last meaning, I think, that his world was the world of smells and sounds. He did not say, "Ears up," as he often did, yet it seemed implied. Svon came asking to speak to me privately. "There's no privacy here," I said, "less even than there is at night. We can't tell when others may be listening." "Then promise you won't repeat what I say." I refused. "You are . . ." He seemed to find his words difficult. "Thegreatest knight of us all." "I doubt it, but what of it?" "It's what everyone says. Sir Garvaon and Lord Beel, Sir Woddet and His Grace the Duke. Even Queen Idnn." "I thank the gracious Overcyns for Sir Leort." "Him too. I forgot him. I was your squire. Not for long, I know." "Long enough for a journey that seemed long to us." "I remember." For a moment it appeared he would say no more than that. "I didn't like you, and you didn't like me." I agreed. "You said once that you were the boy who threw my sword in the bushes. You can't have been, but you said you were." "I am." "But you're the greatest knight. In a month my leg will heal. Will you fight when it does? I mean to challenge you. I'd rather you fought gladlythat we engaged as friends." "I will," I promised, "but not here in Jotunland." Svon rarely smiled, but he smiled then. "It's settled. Good! Will you give me your hand?" We clasped hands as friends should. "Why wouldn't you promise to keep my confidence?" "Because I had no idea what you might say. Suppose you said you intended to betray us." "Or that I'd betrayed Sir Ravd, which is what everyone else says." The smile vanished. "That would trouble me less. But if I'd given my word that I'd keep your secret, I'd keep it. If it were that you meant to betray us to the Angrborn, I'd fight you now and kill you if I could. But I'd never reveal what you told me." Svon nodded slowly. "I understand. You really thought it might be something like that." "I feared it. I didn't mean that your confidences, or anyone's, will be served at dinner like venison. But you don't have my word I won't reveal them, nor will you get it." He seemed about to choke. "I love Idnn. Her Majesty." "Is that another confidence? I knew it already, and there can't be many who don't." "I think sheshe ..." "She does, I'm sure." "But she's a queen, and Imy father was a baron. . . ." "But you're not, or at least not at present. This is why you want to fight me, isn't it?" "It's part of it. Yes." "Would you like me to lose? To yield to you? After a considerable struggle, of course." "Certainly not!" "What if I win?" Svon held himself very straight. "I'll live or die, like other vanquished knights. If I diein a way I hope I willit will be with Her Majesty's favor on my helm." I congratulated him. "Though I engage the greatest knight in Mythgarthr, I won't be worthy of her. But I'll be more nearly worthy. Sir Woddet fought you. So did Sir Leort, and His Grace." "You have given me part of your reason," I said, "will you give me the rest?" "Because you took my sword. It unmanned me and you thought me a coward, if that was really you." "It was." His hard, handsome face (made human by its broken nose) was entirely serious as he said, "Then I must prove myself." "You already have," I told him. He shook his head, and as if eager to talk of something else said, "This fog isn't it ever going to lift?" I mentioned my concern for Toug, and Svon shrugged. I said, "If you could contrive some little errand and send him to me, I'd appreciate it." "Certainly. As soon as I get back. He despairs." Svon seemed to expect a comment, so I said, "I know." "Etela helps him more than I've been able to." "That's natural." "Her mother, too. Lynnet. And Vil does what he can, showing him his tricks and getting him to describe what he saw, then showing himsometimeshow the trick was done. He'll get over it. Boys always do." I nodded, although I was not sure I agreed. Svon turned to go. "I've been thinking . . ." He turned back. "I should tell you. All my life men have told me they were helped by this one or that one. No one ever helped me." "Sir Ravd tried." "Yes. But now someone has. You gave me the accoladeelevated me to knighthood. Were you really authorized to do it? By a ruler?" "I was and I am." "By the queen you say knighted you? The queen of the Moss Aelf?" I shook my head. "I won't ask any more. His Grace was surprised to find me a knight. At first he thought Lord Beel had done it. I told him it was you and expected all sorts of objections, but I was wrong. He just congratulated me. Then he asked if I'd given allegiance to you. I said I hadn't, that I had given it to Lord Beel. You were there." I nodded again. "It was very informal. I suppose we'll do it over when we get back, if we do." I said we would, but that the ceremony would not take place. "Not because His Lordship will refuse, but because you'll ask to be released. Yours will be another liege." "Idnn. Her Majesty." I nodded. "I've thought of that. I She has no one, nothing, and I've land from her father. Swiftbrook. It's not much, I'm sure, but I might win more." "You will." "Thank you. Thank you for everything. You taught me more than you realize." He turned again, and was lost in the fog after a step or two. When I could no longer see him, I heard him say, "We'll engage when we get home. You agreed. Perhaps she'll accept me after that." From the sound of his voice, he was still quite near. An hour passed, or at least a time long enough to seem an hour; when the sun is invisible, it can be hard to judge. Mani joined me, saying, "Do you like this?" "Our fire?" I knew it was not what he meant. "No, not much. The wood's wet." "The fog." "No. It's wet, too." "Neither do I." He jumped into my lap and made himself comfortable. "You know, dear owner, I wish you'd taken me along when you and the queen went riding." "You were in one of my saddlebags, I suppose. I should have thought of that." "As if you didn't! But if I'd heard you, I might be able to offer advice. Don't tell me you're Able, I know it." "I don't make that sort of joke." "Oh, no! No, really you don't. Yours are better, but often you think no one understands." "And you," I said, and stroked his back. "You haven't told anyone about the . . . About that room. Lord Thiazi's room." "About your experience there, you mean? No." "Thank you. I think about it. I think about it a lot. I'm not usually that way." "Introspective? No, you aren't." "Will I really be free when the cat dies? You said something about thator somebody didand Huld says it, too. That I'll be an elemental once more." I was not sure he wanted an answer, but he insisted he did. "No," I told him. "No, you won't." "She says elementals aren't really alive but just think they are, so they can't die." I told him she was correct. "So I'll be free. That's what she says." "The elemental will be free, no longer having any share in life. You're not the elemental or the cat. You're both, and the cat will die like other cats." "I'd like to think that I'm just. . . The other thing. The thing that talks." "Then I'll cut off your ear and we'll see if it hurts." "You would, wouldn't you?" Mani's voice, always fairly close to the mews and purrs of a common house cat, had become more so, though I could still understand him. "No." I drew my dagger, and he vanished into the night. Svon had promised to send Toug, and I waited some time for him, warming my hands and thinking of Disiri and the things I would have to do before I searched for her. I had promised to fight Svonunder the circumstances I could not do otherwiseand it was possible he might wound me badly, in which case my search would be further delayed. It was at least as possible I would kill him to prevent it. At length it seemed clear that he had neglected to send Toug, or that Toug had been unavailable for some reason, and I remembered what I had said to Uns, that we would have to go to Toug if Toug would not come to us. Motioning to Gylf, I rose. I knew which way Vil had gone, and made myself behave (as I picked my way through the fog) as a blind man wouldwalking in what I imagined to be the correct direction, groping the ground with my sheathed sword, and stopping every few steps to listen. Soon I heard voices, followed by a deep grinding or grating that I could not at once identify. Someone (I was nearly certain it was Svon) spoke. Then someone else, who might perhaps have been Toug himself. The grinding came again, the sound one hears when one heavy stone slides on another, the sound that precedes an avalanche. Another step; I heard the voice I now felt certain was Toug's say, "If you said you killed him, that might do it." Never have I been so tempted to eavesdrop. I called, "Toug? Is that you?" and nearly choked on my own words. "Master!" It was stone on stone; I knew then to whom it belonged. "Yes," I said, "I'm here, Org." He was not the most terrifying creature I have seen, for I have seen dragons; but he was terrifying, and never more so than on that blind gray morning. It was all I could do to keep from drawing Eterne. He knelt and bowed his head, repeating, "Master." I laid my hand on it, and it was hot as fever, like the stones that are heated to warm a bed. "Sir Able?" (That voice was Svon's.) I called, "Yes." Less loudly, I spoke to the crouching monster before me. "Have you been bad, Org?" "Many." He looked up as he spoke; there was unspeakable cruelty in his slitted eyes, but suffering, too. "Did you kill King Gilling? Answer honestly. I will not blame or punish you." "No, Master." I nodded. "I never thought you did, Org." Svon emerged from the fog. "He might easily have done it. Wouldn't you agree?" "So might I," I said. "So might you or several others. But it's beside the point. He's an evil creature. We know it and so does he. Confess to having betrayed Sir Ravd!" Svon took a quick step back. "No! I didn't!" I shrugged. "You see?" "You mean I'm an evil creature too." "So am I. Why do we fight, if not to purge our evil? We're afraid to die and afraid to liveafraid of what we may do. So we shout and charge. If we were good" Wistan had come near enough for me to recognize him. "Where's Toug?" I asked him. Svon said, "With you, I thought." "You sent him to me?" "Yes, with Etela, her mother, and Vil. She insisted." When I said nothing, he added, "I thought you'd send them away if you wanted to talk to Toug alone." Gylf whined, pressing his shoulder against my hip; I had not been aware that he had followed me. I said, "Let's hope we find them when this clears. Has Org served you well?" "You overheard us." "I heard your voices. Nothing of what you said." Wistan started to speak, but Svon silenced him with a wave of his hand. "Do you want him back?" Org himself said, "Yes." "I should have thanked you for him. I mean, when . . ." "When you shared your confidence." Svon nodded. "Yes. Then. But I'm so used to hiding the fact that I have guardianship of him ..." "You must find it a heavy responsibility." He nodded again. "I've done my best for him as well as for the rest of us. I've protected him from us, and us from him. Or tried to." "I'm sure you have." Wistan said, "This's my fault, Sir Able." "What is?" I had guessed, but it seemed best to ask. "Sir Svon was alone, except for the mad woman." "Lady Lynnet." "Her, and I didn't think she mattered. Her daughter had told me. Had told