The Wishstone and the Wonderworkers (53 page)

‘I’ve drunk more than you have,’ said Chegory, telling this barefaced lie with all the aplomb he could muster. ‘The more you drink, the better you feel.’

‘Oh,’ said the demon, squinting at the candles which had just been lit to illuminate the fast-darkening Star Chamber. ‘And if - if I drink some more will it help my eyes?’

‘Your eyes?’ said Chegory.

‘I see two of everything. Sometimes three.’

‘Well,’ said Chegory, ‘I’m no oculist, but, as I’ve said, Injiltaprajura uses alcohol to treat just about anything.’

‘You mean,’ said the demon, ‘we should drink more?’ ‘But of course, of course!’ said Chegory. ‘If you’ve got enough firewater you can keep drinking all night.’

Which is true enough. It is a matter of recorded fact that Ebrell Islanders have been known to drink firewater steadily from one sunrise to the next. What young Chegory neglected to say was that one stands a good chance of dropping dead during (or shortly after) such a drinking bout.

Thus encouraged, Binchinminfin clapped his hands.

‘Waiter!’ cried the demon. ‘More firewater! Lots of it! Quickly, quickly!’

The waiter withdrew, returning in due course with a fresh crock of firewater and an ample supply of vinegar. Thus the demon and the Ebrell Islander drank on into the night.

What a debauched scene this is! The Ebrell Islander and the demon shamelessly polluting their bodies with the most lethal potation known to the human race! At Chegory’s feet is the delectable Olivia Qasaba, for she has crept close to him for comfort, hoping he has some plan for rescue. Well, he had a plan - to drink the demon into oblivion then knife it. But the presence of soldiers has thwarted that plan. Nevertheless, young Chegory drinks on regardless. The most shameful part of all is that he is starting to enjoy it.

Yes!

This Ebrell Islander, who is by now most definitely drunk, drinks with a will. He is loving it! Now we see how shallow were those moral protestations with which he previously preached against demon rum. Blood will out! Blood has outed! Here is an Ebrell Islander true, a drink-crazed thing wildly giving itself to excess and intoxication.

Yes, young Chegory is drinking with a wild abandon, and fondling the succulent Olivia as he does so. Worse, he is letting her sip from the skull which serves him as a cup. Thanks to an influx of firewater, the blank fear has slipped away from Olivia’s sweet and girlish face to be replaced by something ... well, libidinous would not be too strong a word for it. While Chegory fondles her flesh she fondles him back in return. He is her hero who is - she is sure of it -here to rescue her.

To rescue her first from the demon Binchinminfin and then, doubtless, from her virginity.

Artemis Ingalawa is scandalised, yet dare not intervene. Instead, she watches from the shadows, hoping against hope that Chegory has a plan. As it happens, he doesn’t. But he’s not worried. He’s sure he’ll solve all in time. He’s possessed by a buoyant over-confidence for which firewater must bear the blame.

But sooner or later this drinking spree must end. Sooner or later consequences must be faced. Let us hope it will be sooner rather than later - or who knows what horrors might be enacted tonight in this palace of corruption and crime?

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

The orgy of drinking would have continued all night if Binchinminfin’s enjoyment had not been halted by the natural limits of the flesh. The demon ceased to feel better and began to feel worse. So drank all the more in the hope of encouraging a more favourable trend. Then vomited, upchucking half-digested food to the rotting carpet of chowder and kedgeree.

The guards — at this stage there were several of them near at hand - watched with the technical detachment of vastly experienced experts as Binchinminfin grovelled on his hands and knees in the grotesque carpet of sludge. Vomiting repeatedly.

‘It’s a side effect, isn’t it?’ he said at last.

‘Yes,’ admitted Chegory. ‘One of the worse.’

For a while the demon said nothing. It was too sick to say anything. Then it said:

‘Why?’

‘Why what?’ said Chegory.

‘The side effects,’ said Binchinminfin. ‘Why me and not you? Why haven’t you thrown up?’

‘Because he’s an Ebby,’ said one of the guards, with contempt. ‘A stinking Ebby. We know his game! He’s been feeding you firewater to try to get you incapably drunk.’

‘You’re just jealous,’ said Chegory, with drunken racial pride. ‘You know you can’t match us Ebrell Islanders. We can outdrink outfight and—’

Well, I’m sure we all know what boast logically belongs to this sequence. Furthermore, you can be sure Chegory made it. Which increased the disapproval of the onlooking Ingalawa. She was committing every moment of this to memory. Sooner or later, Chegory would answer for his indiscretions!

‘Why would you want to get me drunk?’ said Binchinminfin, failing to realise that he was drunk already. ‘What good would it have done you?’

‘I would have cut your throat,’ said Chegory, shaking himself free of Olivia’s clutches as he lurched to his feet. ‘I would have raped your spleen with a gutting knife. I would have tom out your liver. I would have ripped out your lungs. Like this!’

So saying, Chegory staggered toward the demon. Then toppled and fell. Then got to his feet again. Binchinminfin obviously had to do something. But what? The logical, sensible thing was to incinerate young Chegory Guy. Or turn him into a toad. But, since the demon was drunk, he did something rash instead, and deserted the body of Varazchavardan for that of the Ebrell Islander, that splendid redskinned body which could outfight, outdrink and out-the-other every
thing
else in sight.

Yarazchavardan's deserted corpus slumped insensibly into the carpet of food.

‘He’s killed him?’ said one of the guards, meaning that Chegory had
*lain
B
mrhinminfm
.

Instantly several soldiers rushed forward, intending to slaughter Chegory Guy on the spot. Olivia screamed. But the guards never reached their target. Instead, they were spun round and smashed into the walls. They collapsed insensibly.

A guard on the mezzanine levelled a crossbow at Chegory and pulled the trigger. The crossbow bolt sped toward Chegory'$ heart. It never got there. It burst into flames in mid-air and disintegrated an instant later.

Tins is me!’ roared Odolo’s accents, issuing most strangely from the throat of young Chegory Guy. ‘Me, me, Bincbinminfin!’

IBs guards began to get the message.

Chegory, to his startlement, felt his throat worked, heard the words which issued forth, but found he had no control over his body whatsoever. It was being worked without reference to his own thoughts. So this was what it meant to be demonically possessed! It was, more than anything, like one of those terrible dreams in which your limbs refuse to obey you.

His first question was:

Olivia! Where is Olivia?

But he could not tell, for the demon had focused his eyes on a crock of firewater, which it was emptying into the drinking skull Chegory had been using.

Olivia! Olivia! Olivia!

Thus Chegory.

The much more interesting question, which never occurred to him at the time, was why Binchinminfin’s latest act of possession had not resulted in unconsciousness for both demon and new host. When Binchinminfin had leapt from the conjuror Odolo to the wonderworker Varazchavardan, the newly possessed flesh had been insensible for some time, whereas the demon had taken over Chegory without any such trouble.

The answer to this conundrum, of course, lies in the firewater both parties had been so liberally consuming. Alcohol softens the psychic shock usually suffered by an entity intelligent as it leaps from one body to another.

Long thereafter did Binchinminfin sit drinking. But all flesh has limits, and even Chegory Guy’s body could at last take no more. Liquor overpowered it, and the intelligence of demon and Ebrell Islander alike spiralled down into unconsciousness. The body lay there with its twin consciousness inert.

The guards kept vigil over their demonic master as the night crept on. Elsewhere, on the island of Jod, Chegory’s erstwhile companions-in-adventure sat round a watchfire, roasting vampire rats then eating the same. Meanwhile, the steady flux of dikle and shlug poured forth from the wealth fountains as if it would continue to outpour for all eternity.

‘He’s not coming back,’ said Pokrov at last, stating the obvious.

‘No,’ said Uckermark. ‘He’s not.’

‘So - so what do we tell the Hermit Crab?’ said Pokrov. ‘That’s for Zozimus to worry about, not us,’ said Uckermark. ‘He’s the one who had the job to do.’

The job in question was, as you will remember, to ask the demon Binchinminfin if it would be so kind as to provide the Hermit Crab with a human form. But Zozimus had already worked out what he would say to the Crab.

‘In the morning,’ said Zozimus, ‘I’ll tell the Crab the demon told him to go and get jumped on. Then maybe we’ll see some action!’

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Dawn came to Injiltaprajura, but the sun bells failed to ring to mark the start of istarlat. Dawn brought light to supplement the tapers burning in the Star Chamber of the pink palace atop Pokra Ridge. A ghastly sight that light revealed.

Already fat flies were bumbling over the carpet of rotten chowder and kedgeree which covered much of the floor. Part of that carpet had disintegrated into a white writhing of maggots. In among this vomit-splattered slather of rotting food there lay a good half-dozen empty crocks (which had once held firewater) and the chamberpot which the demon Binchinminfin had chosen first as crown and later as drinking goblet.

Round the room various humans stood, sat or lay in postures of sleep, exhaustion or despair. There was Artemis Ingalawa comforting an exhausted and tearful Olivia. There was the Empress Justina, her white ape Vazzy in her arms. Besides these, there were half a dozen anonymous bedraggled females - serving wenches and such — and some waiters. And the lean and leucodermic Aquitaine Varazchavardan, surveying all he saw with manifest contempt. The pink-eyed Master of Law watched a young soldier who had the wishstone in his care. The man appeared to be wishing on it. The wonderworker could guess what the warrior desired.

All the soldiers in the Star Chamber were very tired, and naturally distressed by the mephitic malodours. They had joined the army of the Izdimir Empire to get regular pay and the chance to travel and dress up in gaudy uniforms. Not to preside over a sewer! Most had slept little during the night, for the garrison was dreadfully shorthanded thanks to the mass desertions which had followed Binchinminfin’s seizure of power. Those few who had given the demon their loyalty were hard-pressed to guard both treasury and wine cellar, to keep the kitchen staff from jo
ining
the exodus from the palace, and to mount guard over their new lord and master.

Their unconscious lord and master.

As we know, Ebrell Islanders can drink far more than ordinary mortals. But, after Binchinminfin had possessed Chegory Guy, the demon had nevertheless eventually found the natural limits of his new host’s flesh. For the moment, the demon was at the mercy of any soldier in a mood for assassination. Some of the armed guards, thinking they had made a mistake in their choice of overlord, were actively considering it.

‘Oh, what a bright and beautiful morning!’ said Justina Thrug, stretching prodigiously. She blew out a candle. 'Huff! Out with its light! Good morning, Vazzy. How are you today? What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue? Oh, you’re no fun! All right then, who’s in charge here?’ "Don’t worry about that,’ rumbled one of the soldiers. ‘You’re not going anywhere.’

‘Oh, I think we’re all going somewhere,’ said the Empress. ‘Sanitary expeditions are the order of the day. If not, then we will do what we must. I don’t mind. But you have to put up with the results.’

The soldiers were already putting up with more than they cared for, so one of those with more initiative than the ics arranged for small parties to be escorted under armed guard to other parts of the palace.

In due course Justina herself was marched away with Ofivia Qasaba and Artemis Ingalawa. Once free of the Star Chamber, she persuaded her wardens to allow a detour to *hc rooftop swimming pool. This needed little doing. The were in no hurry to get back to the Star Chamber, zed far preferred watching three females disport themselves ■l the water. The next stop was Justina’s private quarters. These die Empress sorted out fresh clothes for herself and the two Ashdan females. On their return to the Star Chamber they found Chegory Guy sitting up. He looked at them with eyes shot through with a bloody red more violent than that of his skin.

‘Chegory,’ said Olivia timidly.

‘That’s not Chegory,’ said Ingalawa. ‘That’s the demon. Binchinminfin. The usurper.’

‘You’re in there!’ insisted Olivia. ‘Aren’t you, Chegory? You can hear me, my love. Can’t you?’

Chegory Guy was indeed within that red skin. He heard Olivia, but could not move so much as a muscle. He could not speak. In frustrated rage he felt his throat move as the demon Binchinminfin groaned. The accents of the conjuror Odolo came from his throat as Binchinminfin croaked: