The Wildest Heart (44 page)

“But he did not come! We
know
this, Jules—he did not come. If he had, he would have spoken to us, he would have said: ‘Marta, won't you give me some of your good tortillas to take with me on my journey?' You know this is what he always did—there was never a time when he visited the patron that he did not come into the kitchen to taste what I had in the pot, and to tease me…”

I looked from her to Jules, and felt a dryness in my mouth.

“Who…” She was talking of Mr. Bragg of course. Please, God, let it be Mr. Bragg. Not…

“It was Mr. Lucas he was expecting, ma'am.” Jules's voice sounded as dry as mine must have been, and he went on quickly, seeing, I suppose, the sudden lack of color in my face. “But he didn't come, ma'am. Like Marta said. It was Mr. Bragg who found Mr. Guy, and woke us up. It was still dark, not quite five in the morning. He looked… it
was just as if he had fallen asleep over his writing, his head on the desk and the ink spilled all over.”

I found that now that I had heard the final indictment—the last piece of evidence I had both dreaded and expected to hear—I could be amazingly calm and clear-headed. It was just as if all emotion had drained out of me, leaving only a cold hardness in its place.

There were only a few more questions to be asked, a few more facts to be ascertained.
Facts,
I called them, for neither Marta nor Jules had any reason to lie to me. They had both been unwilling to speak at all. I had begun to think that they were the only two people in the world that I could trust any longer.

I was thinking this while I composedly ordered a light supper, pretending I didn't notice Marta's tear-stained cheeks and pushed-out lower lip. She did not like the turn my questions had taken, but I was the patrona, and she bobbed her head when I had finished speaking. Yes, in spite of everything I could count on her loyalty… and then, suddenly, I thought of Mark. Perhaps it was because my eyes had fallen casually on the chessboard, and that made me remember the last game I had played on it—so long ago, it seemed.

Mark, my patient friend, whose steadiness and common sense had helped me before. Mark, who loved me. How unnecessarily cruel I had been towards him yesterday! Why hadn't I thought of Mark before? And if I needed an excuse, he had been one of the last persons to speak with my father before he died. Mark would help me decide what must be done; Mark would listen, and help me find an objective point of view.

And so I said to Jules, who still hovered uncertainly by the door, “Would you mind waiting for a few moments, until I write a note to Mr. Mark? You might ask one of the cowboys to deliver it to him. And ask Marta if she will lay an extra place for supper, if you please.”

I thought Jules was on the verge of saying something, but when he met my eyes he seemed to purse his lips, and only inclined his head courteously instead.

It did not take me long to scribble a short and carefully worded note, and when Jules had taken it and left I went back to my room to plan what I would wear. For a change, I found it easy to keep my mind a deliberate blank. I spent an endless amount of time on trivialities, a bath in warm, scented water. One of my pretty, Paris-bought dresses to wear. And my hair piled high upon my head, with ringlets falling to my shoulders. To my reflection in the glass I said aloud: “There, and now you look more like yourself, my girl. You should never have allowed yourself to forget what you've been taught.”

Mark came early, and I was glad to see him come. I held out my hands to him, and as he took them I thought I saw a quickly veiled spark in his eye, a look I had seen in other men's eyes before. But now I needed it, as I needed the reassurance that only Mark could give me. I needed to be reminded who I was, and that I, like Mark, came from a civilized world of elegance and beauty and subtle wit, where birth and breeding and education counted for something.

As usual, Mark was carefully, impeccably dressed; his neatly trimmed blond hair gleaming in the lamplight. As usual he seemed to understand my mood; and he didn't press me about the urgent message, but complimented me on my appearance instead. We said all the polite things, as Jules brought out the decanter of wine and two thin-stemmed crystal glasses. We watched the light fading through the open windows, and talked casually of New York and London. Mark's mother, the same Mrs. Shannon who had been so kind to me in Boston, sent him copies of all the newspapers—even, several months late—the
London Times.
He told me what was playing at all the large theaters and opera houses and related clever anecdotes that made me smile.

“My mother says that Corinne has been dragging her to all the concerts. Jack is becoming quite famous now, you know. And Corinne, of course, basks in his glory and tells everyone who will listen how clever she was to choose such a talented husband!”

Mark's wry, comical expression reminded me that
he
had been her family's choice at first, until my father had persuaded them to let Corinne have her way and marry her orchestra leader. But he seemed to have no regrets.

He held his glass up against the light, smiling at me.

“A toast, Rowena?”

“To the misfits, then!” I said it lightly, speaking my thoughts aloud, but his face had suddenly become serious as he studied me over the rim of the glass.

“So
you
feel it too?” he said quietly. “I have never felt you belonged here, Rowena. Anymore than I do. And yet here we are, trapped by circumstances…” with a deliberate attempt at recovering his former lightness of tone he added banteringly: “There is
one
thing that I will never regret, however, and that is the privilege of having known you.”

I sipped my wine too quickly, and felt it rush to my face, leaving it uncomfortably warm. It was more to avert the sudden constraint that had risen between us that I murmured offhandedly, “I'm afraid your uncle doesn't feel the same way any longer. I hope he did not give you too difficult a time? I would not have asked you to come this evening if I had not…”

“I was already on my way here when I met Bill Klein,” Mark broke in, his voice hardening. “Did you think I could force myself to stay away, invitation or no? Oh, God, Rowena! I'm well aware of the kind of man Uncle Todd is and I think his arrogance blinds him to everything but his own feelings! He has no sympathy, no delicacy. I would have given anything to have spared you such an ugly scene as he must have forced on you this morning, but it was hardly my place to interfere in a matter that concerned the two of you.”

I put my glass down on the inlaid table with such force that I felt the thin crystal vibrate.

“Did he tell you that whatever might have existed between us before is over? I think he's my enemy now, Mark.”

I thought there was an odd hesitancy in Mark's voice before he said quickly, “But I hope you will count
me
your friend, as I have always felt myself to be. As for my uncle, he has always been a man of extreme moods. He flies into a rage too quickly and shouts and blusters, but later, when he's had time to think… well, I did not come here to defend my uncle, but to ask if there was anything I could do for
you
.”

Without asking, he leaned forward and filled my glass again, his eyes not leaving my face as he said quietly, “There
is
something wrong, isn't there? I have felt it all along, in spite of your brave attempt at gayness and insouciance. Are you ready to talk about it now, or shall we wait until after dinner? I have no wish to disturb you, or to bring that sad, preoccupied look back to your face.”

“Oh,
Mark
!”
I said, as I had said so many times in the past, “What on earth would I do without you?” And caught his rather wry smile.

“Why, I hope you will never come to think yourself so self-contained that you cannot turn to me!” Mark said lightly, and then, with unwonted firmness, “Drink your wine, Rowena. And then we will speak of whatever is troubling you.”

Once I had begun, Mark made it easier for me to continue. He was silent when my words tumbled over each other in my eagerness to have them said and over with; and when I hesitated and stumbled in my recital, he prompted me gently.

This time, I held nothing back, as I had with Todd; not even that part of the blame which attached to myself. I had been a fool. In the face of everything I had heard and been warned of, going against all reason, I had loved, and had thought myself strong enough to overcome all obstacles… this was one of the few times that Mark interrupted me. His agitation visible, he stood up and began to pace about while he spoke to me, until I begged him to sit down again.

“Good God, Rowena! Why do you continue to blame yourself? You—a gently brought up young woman who had never been exposed to such treachery and such miserable, unhappy circumstances before. You were a helpless victim of a twisted, perverted group of people who… but don't you see
now
how it happened? You had had one shock after another, and he played upon your sympathy. You must open your eyes and realize for yourself how you came to imagine yourself in love with this unscrupulous scoundrel! You were violated by his brother, the so-called
gentleman
who wished to marry you. In a state of shock, you ran away. And found yourself isolated for days on end with a man who would stop at nothing to gain his own ends, who knows no law but that of the jungle. You gave yourself to him because you had no choice; he would have taken you by force otherwise, and I think you knew this subconsciously. And afterwards, you felt forced to rationalize, to find excuses that would enable you to live with your own conscience.”

“Mark, no!”

“That is
all
it was, Rowena,” he said adamantly. “Face the truth. A few stolen hours on a mountaintop with a man you hardly knew, who discarded you soon afterwards as callously as he had taken you. You cannot go on thinking that was love. Love needs something on which to sustain itself, a foundation on which to grow. Use your mind, as you were always capable of doing before! Why, that was one of the very reasons I admired you and why I still continue to love and respect you. And now”—he released my hands abruptly and went back to sit down across from me—“now you must tell me the rest—and quickly, before you lose your courage.”

To this day, I don't know how I found the strength to go on. I heard myself speak, in a coldly distant voice, and I hardly remember what I said, for my mind was in such a state of turmoil. I pictured myself in a court of law, and Mark as my attorney, who wanted to help me. And as I repeated what I had learned, I saw all over again how damning it all was. Evidence—each piece fitting so neatly into the other that there could be no other solution than that which I had been afraid and unwilling to face earlier.

And Mark, very much the lawyer now, with all the cold logic of his training at his disposal, tore away even the last thread of hope to which I had clung so stubbornly all this time.

“You say he
explained
away his part in the attempted murders of Mr. Bragg and my uncle, and even his virtual abduction of Flo? But Rowena, surely you can see why he bothered to give you an explanation at all, and at
that
late stage? It was because he had already planned what he was going to do with you. Perhaps he hoped that after you were freed you would continue to believe in his innocence, and proclaim it. Perhaps he meant to make use of you again, if he had to.”

Mark's words were like hammer blows in my head, and I pressed my fingers against my temples, wanting to shut them out.

“No…” I whispered, but he was inexorable, his voice firm with conviction.

“If he was capable of killing your own father, who had done so much for him, do you think he would stop at anything else? Your father had learned something damning—had become disillusioned enough to destroy his letter to you requesting you marry one of Elena Kordes's sons. You were expected any day, and you must not find out he had changed his mind. Don't you see now how carefully calculated Luke Cord's every action has been? I should have asked more questions of the servants myself, but we were all so upset at the time, and of course there was the possibility it was an accident—that he had forgotten he had already taken his medicine and taken more. Perhaps Mr. Bragg suspected, and that is why… but I need not go on. My dearest, bravest girl—you have had quite enough for one evening, have you not?”

I said weakly, “But the codicil to my father's will… why…” and braced myself for the final demolishing of everything that remained.

Mark's face changed. There had been tenderness and even pity to be read in his expression a moment before, and now it seemed as if it became guarded, slightly wary. I heard him sigh.

“I should have known that you would remember that. I had hoped that later, when you were in a calmer frame of mind… well, I see that it is my turn to make a clean breast of things, and to beg your understanding. You see, I promised my uncle…” Mark's eyes looked steadily into mine as he told me the rest of it, and his closing of the gap in my knowledge proved just as damning a piece of evidence as the rest.

It had to do with the mysterious letter my father had written to me and then destroyed. Todd had known of it, for my father, with his usual honesty, had given him a copy.

“You see, Rowena, it was not exactly a letter. As a lawyer, I was the one to warn my uncle that as the last request of a dying man, such a document could be upheld in a court of law, as a further stipulation… and
you
at the time were an unknown quality. He even had Jules and Marta witness it—this
letter
could be regarded as a codicil of sorts itself!”

“But…”

“I know what questions you must have, and I intend to answer them. As for
my
part in it, I'm ashamed to say that I let my uncle coerce me into keeping silent, and then when I met
you,
I could not bear the thought that you might feel yourself obliged to… oh, God! To marry one of
them
?
To let them steal part of your inheritance from you as an alternative? It was unthinkable—in this one instance I agreed with my uncle that your father was carrying his sense of justice too far.”

The letter that Todd had concealed had given reasons for my father's wishes. And then had stated baldly that if I chose
not
to marry one of Alejandro Kordes's issue, either land, or a lump sum of money be gifted to each of them, and to Elena herself. If I did marry one of the brothers, he stipulated that I should give the others a reasonable amount of money each.

“And then, Rowena, on that night—he would not tell me his reasons, but he told me he had changed his mind and had burned the letter. I was overjoyed! You see now why I did not feel it necessary to even mention the existence of such a document? It was no longer valid—and he told me he intended to draw up a codicil that would make everything clear. You were no longer to be forced into an objectionable marriage, although he still intended to see that Ramon Kordes, and Julio, if he wished it, should be provided for. He would pay for Ramon's education and travel abroad, he would deed to Julio fertile land where he and his people might be encouraged to settle down as farmers before they were all killed off or herded onto a reservation. You understand, I am only repeating what he told me he intended to do. Whether he had the time to draw up such a document I do not know; certainly, I never saw it. But this time, as he told it to me, there was a glaring omission—Luke Cord.”

I looked at Mark, and he returned my look. In the background I could hear the ticking of the big grandfather clock that stood in a corner of the room, a popping noise in the fireplace as one of the logs that Jules had placed there burst into flame. I could almost imagine I heard the beating of my own heart.

Mark had been right earlier. I had had enough for one night—for one day—for a lifetime.

There was nothing more to be said for now except the usual things. Jules came back in to clear off the table and bring us coffee. Mark refused the brandy I offered him and said he must leave soon. I asked him to spend the night, and to my surprise he accepted, after a short hesitation, saying that he would have to leave very early in the morning and I must on no account disturb myself to see him off, for he would visit me again tomorrow.

“And your uncle?” I said with an attempt at lightness. Again, his answer surprised me. “I'm past the point of caring what my uncle thinks, or has to say!” he said in a tight voice. We had both stood up, and I had my hand outstretched to bid him good night when he suddenly took me in his arms. Not with force, but gently, tenderly. And for a few moments I took comfort in being there, with his lips pressed against my forehead.

With a ragged exclamation that sounded almost like an oath, he suddenly put me away from him. “You make it too easy for me to forget myself! But if you were not engaged to my uncle…”

“Mark, didn't you hear me say earlier that
that
piece of nonsense is all over with?”

“I didn't mean to burden you with any further problems tonight, Rowena.” Nevertheless, I caught a warning note in Mark's voice. “But you would be wise to remember that my uncle is not only proud and arrogant but as stubborn as the devil as well. In spite of all his raging, I do not think he intends to release you from your promise to marry him yet. Not only because he still wants you as a woman but because of the SD and all it means to him. To own the whole of it has become an obsession with him, I'm afraid. I only thought I should mention it, and—yes, I'll be honest enough to say it, whether you continue to frown at me or not—especially in view of
my
feelings towards you.”