The Wild Rose of Kilgannon (8 page)

"Hush, lass, hush. I canna stay. I have given my word." He wrapped his arms around me and held me to him, whispering that he loved me. The wind rose and the men around us shifted, but they all waited while he tried to explain it to me. I heard only that he was leaving and I sobbed in his arms, remembering my barter with God. One night, I'd begged. Just one night. His arm tightened around me, but at last he turned to Angus. "I have given my word that my conduct will be proper and that Kilgannon willna rise to free me. Tell me it will be kept."

Angus looked at his cousin without expression. "It doesna have to be. We could take them, Alex."

Alex's eyes flashed anger but his voice was calm. "Aye, and then the others would come and burn us out and rape the land and the women. I willna have it here and ye ken it well, we've discussed it enough times. It's my decision, Angus." Their eyes met and I felt Alex's heart pounding.

At last Angus nodded. "It will be as ye say, Alex."

"Thank ye," Alex said and added something in Gaelic that made Angus's face brighten. I stepped back as they embraced. Then Alex hugged Matthew and turned to the others behind us, greeting them before facing the men on the

terraces and walls. He raised his arms and his voice as the clansmen roared at him. "I thank ye for yer welcome," Alex shouted. He gestured to Robert. "This is Major Robert Campbell. His men are my escort and I ask that ye welcome them to our home. I will be leaving with them tomorrow. Please receive them tonight as ye would any guests at Kilgannon."

The men bellowed in response and started moving off the walls and terrace toward him. I was lost in a sea of plaids as they reached us, and I stood back, watching. Alex was thinner and very drawn, his bruises startling colors, his shirt encrusted with blood from a wound hidden by his hair, a rat's nest of tangles and matted clumps. But he was standing and in one piece and he was home, still the Earl of Kilgannon.

I glanced at Robert and his men where they waited at a distance, not relaxing their guard. Robert's handsome face was a stone mask as he watched Alex, then turned to meet my gaze. He dismounted and came to meet me as I walked toward him. When we stood facing each other I extended my hand and he caught it in both of his. "Welcome to Kilgannon, Lord Campbell," I said loud enough for his men to hear. He bowed over my hand and met my eyes before looking away. It had been momentary, but long enough for me to see that Robert remembered as well as I all that had gone on before.

"Robert," I said, in a quieter tone, and his brown eyes found mine again. "Thank you for bringing him home. Thank you." I embraced him. At first he stood woodenly and then he clasped me
tightly
to him, holding me longer than was necessary. As if realizing that, he abruptly let me go and I swayed at my release. He grabbed my arm to steady me, then released me as though my arm burnt him. Puzzled, I glanced up at him but he was looking behind me and I followed his gaze. Alex had been swallowed by the crowd, appearing now and then as the men shifted position, but Angus stood apart, watching us with a grim expression. I turned back to Robert but he had gone back to his men. Both Robert and Alex had undergone a transformation and neither seemed the happier for it.

I fought my way to Alex's side and his arm went around me.

"Mary Rose," he whispered in my ear, then kissed me gently on the mouth. "Mary Rose, I love ye, lass." I clung to him as we moved up the terraces and into the courtyard. Someone had told the women it was safe and they swarmed forward now, greeting Alex. Wee Donald, Ellen at his side, thumped Alex's back, then released him as Ellen embraced Alex and nodded happily at something he said to her. How can she smile, I wondered, when Alex will leave again? How can they all be smiling and laughing? Do they not understand? And if they did not, I agreed. I did not understand it all. I felt as though I watched them from afar.

Most of the clan arrived in the next hour to welcome Alex home. Berta, Ellen, and I were hard-pressed to arrange food and drink for all, and it was quite a while before I found myself standing at the side of the hall next to Robert. Alex's eyes had found me wherever I was, and now was no exception. He smiled at the clansmen before him but he watched Robert and me standing together. And at the edge of the crowd around him Angus watched us as well. If Robert noticed he gave no acknowledgement of it.

"You'd think he was home for good, not one night, Mary," Robert said quietly. "Do they always greet him this way?"

"Yes," I said and then took a deep breath. "Robert?" He turned to me with a blank expression and I thought of the many times I had stood companionably next to Robert Campbell. How strange life is, I thought, to bring the three of us together thus. "Robert, why are you here? Why did you bring Alex home?"

"I am to bring Alex to Edinburgh for trial." His voice was toneless. Whatever he was feeling was well hidden.

"Then you went the wrong way." Something flashed in his eyes, but he said nothing. "I understand that you are bringing Alex to Edinburgh, Robert, but why did you come to Kilgannon?"

Robert looked at Alex and then at me. "He agreed to go with me without a battle and I agreed to spare Kilgannon. When we leave here I will bring him to Edinburgh and he will be tried for treason." He lowered his head to speak very quietly. "Mary, you must understand that if he escapes tonight, troops will come and take
Kilgannon
by force and then many will die."

I raised my chin, willing my voice not to betray my emotion. "Robert/' I said coldly, "did you not hear what Alex said to the men today? He asked that you be welcomed as our guests. He will not breach his promise, nor will the men of Kilgannon. If Alex told you he will go with you tomorrow, he will go. He has given his word. Alex does not make vows lightly." Robert nodded, his movements tight, but before he could answer there was a commotion at the

door. I labored to see and then heard Ian and Jamie calling to Alex. The crowds of people moved aside to let them throw themselves at their father.

"Are those his sons?" Robert asked in a strained voice. We watched the boys leap into Alex's arms. Alex clutched them to him, his head bent over theirs as they kissed him.

"Yes," I said. "Those are our sons, Robert." I left him then and went to stand next to my husband. My husband, I thought. For how long? No matter how bravely I had answered Robert, I wanted Alex to run, to escape, to live. But as I brushed the hair from his shoulders and listened to him laugh with the boys, I knew what he would do. I had known all along what could happen. When Thomas and the other men had come home and told their stories, I had realized that it was in Alex's mind to save as many MacGannon lives as possible, even if Kilgannon itself was lost. If he had to sacrifice himself to keep these people safe, he would think it a necessary sacrifice. But I never would. If I could keep him alive and with me, I would risk anything. With that thought still in my mind, I looked across the sea of faces turned so trustingly to him. Perhaps, I admitted to myself, perhaps in his position I would do the same. He had been raised with the sacredness of his responsibilities trained into him. They were as much a part of him as his coloring and height. I stroked his shoulder and he turned with a smile and patted my hand.

"The people want to have another ceremo
ny to mourn the men we lost, Mar
y Rose, and I canna do it this dirty. Will ye have a bath prepared? And will ye bring the boys up wi
th ye too? I'll be with ye shortl
y." He kissed my forehead as I nodded. "I would talk with ye, lass, but first I must get clean and talk to my sons. We may have to wait until later to be alone." I nodded again and reached for the boys, who were reluctant to leave him until I explained that he would come to us upstairs. I called for hot water and asked Berta to see to rooms for Robert and his men and then I left, kno
wing she would take care of ever
ything.

We waited in our bedroom. I spent the time trying to think of words persuasive enough to convince Alex to escape and stared out the window, wondering how many more times in my life I would be waiting for him to join me. When the door opened, the boys jumped up from their seats and ran to him and he met my eyes above their heads. I'd forgotten how he filled the doorway, how his form was masculine but graceful, how his hair traced the corner of his

brow, and how very blue his eyes were. And how he made my body ache for him with just a glance.

"I'm home, Mary Rose," he said quietly. "For one night at least. I just never imagined it would be like this."

"Nor I, but I'll take whatever we can get," I said. "I love you, Alex." I felt my chin tremble and struggled to control it.

"And I ye, Mary."

"And I love ye, Da," Jamie said, throwing his arms around his father's waist. "But yer verra dirty."

Ian laughed. "Aye, Da, ye are. Did ye no' bathe off at war?"

Alex laughed, then grinned slowly, picking up a boy in each arm and rubbing them against his sides. "Now we're all dirty, eh, lads? And now we'll all get clean." He hauled the giggling boys into the adjoining room, where a tub of water waited for him. He dropped them into the tub fully clothed. It got worse then, as the boys splashed their father until he surrendered, leaving all four of us and most of the room wet.

I shooed the boys out of the tub and Alex shed his clothes quickly and climbed into it. I insisted on washing the blood and grime out of his hair and tried not to comment on the bruises that covered him and the new long scar that ran from his breast to his waist, jagged as it crossed his ribs, the healing barely begun. And he tried to ignore my tears and compressed lips, but he saw them and he kissed my hand as I gently sponged his battered cheek. He joked and teased the boys until they were giggling again.

In our room Alex dressed quickly, his mood growing sober. When he was dressed he kissed me and then sat on the edge of our bed, gesturing the still- damp boys to him. I sat next to him, suddenly reluctant to hear anything he had to say. Think of something, I commanded myself. Think of something to convince him to leave. Alex looked from one boy to the other.

"Ye ken we won the battl
e at Sherrifmuir, lads?"

"We heard no one won, Da," said Ian.

"We won," Alex said firmly. "We won." Two little heads nodded solemnly. "And then we lost in a different way. The Stewart ran away, leaving us to fend for ourselves." My heart sank at his words. He will not even try to escape, I

thought. He will never run away. I have known that all along. I patted the dripping ends of his hair with the towel.

"Thomas told us," whispered Ian.

Alex nodded. "Aye. James Stewart called us all to fight for him and we did and then he ran away and left us to take care of ourselves. So the English won the war after all."

"Ye lost the war?" asked Jamie.

"Aye. We lost it when the Stewart ran away. And now the English king and his soldiers are in control of Scotland once again. We had to come home from a long way away and we got separated from each other. That's why Angus and the others came home first." His eyes met mine over his sons' heads as he continued. "But I canna stay. I have to go with the soldiers tomorrow." The boys exclaimed.

"Where, Da? Where will ye go?" Jamie tugged at Alex's sleeve while Ian watched with troubled eyes. "Ye just got home!"

Alex ruffled Jamie's hair. "I ken that, lad. Do ye remember when we talked a long time ago about giving yer word?" The boys nodded. "Well, I gave my word to Robert Campbell. I dinna wish to go, but I must. If I go with them no one here will be hurt and if I dinna go many people will die. So I will go with them."

"Where will ye go?" Jamie asked.

Alex's tone was quiet. "The English will put me in prison."

"Prison!" Ian cried. Alex nodded.

"Da," Jamie said in horror. "They'll hit ye again."

Alex smiled wryly and put his hand to his bruised cheek. "Do ye mean this?"

Jamie nodded.

"They might." Alex suddenly grinned. "But, Jamie lad, I knocked the man who gave me this senseless, so perhaps they'll think twice before trying that again, no?" Both boys nodded and I rose and walked to the window, unable to bear another moment. I traced the lead of the window with a finger. I knew Alex watched me but his voice behind me was calm.

"Ye must understand something else as well. I may no' ever come home again. I made an agreement that I would do as they asked." The boys cried out and I turned and met Alex's eyes.

"Will they kill ye?" Ian whispered.

Alex looked at me over Ian's head. And then he looked at his oldest son and nodded. "Aye," he said slowly. "It is most likely."

"No!" Ian shouted, pulling on Alex's arm. "No, Da! Don't let them kill ye!" Next to him Jamie wailed. Alex hugged them fiercely to him and sank his face in their hair as they cried.

"I ken it is hard to understand what happened," he said. "I hardly understand it myself. But ken this, lads: I made this decision. It was my choice, and it is the correct thing to do. If I go to
prison, even if I die, and ever
y
one else here at Kilgannon lives, that is a good thing. If I run away like James Stewart and leave the people behind me to fend for themselves, then I would be a coward, and no MacGannon is a coward." His voice was gruff and he raised a fist. "We're brave!
MacGannons are brave!"