The Wild Heart (20 page)

     ‘ I’ve been thinking since I got that’ said Richard ‘ The dates never did match up and deep down I think I always knew Natalie wasn’t mine. But I loved her like she was and despite your best efforts to destroy her she’s taken charge of her life’.

     Angela snorted. ‘ She’s no more taken charge of her life than you’ve taken charge of yours’.

     ‘ You’re a miserable excuse for a mother’ said Richard ‘ You knew that what Natalie was saying about your precious brother was true but you let her endure it for all those years same as you knew Shaun Campbell was handy with his fists as far as Natalie was concerned but you didn’t give a damn‘

     ‘ It’s not true what she said about Brian, he … ‘

     ‘ … he had convictions as long as your flaming arm for trying to solicit young girls in playgrounds and only got off that charge of assault against that young Ballymena girl because of your family’s connections’.

     ‘ Well you should’ve been more of a man and stood up to me!’

     Richard had been prepared for that but it didn’t lessen its impact. ‘ I shall regret not listening to Natalie for the rest of my life. We drove her into an abusive relationship with Shaun Campbell. If we’d have got her sorted out after your Brian had laid his filthy hands on her she’d have thought more of herself than to go with him’.

     ‘ What do you expect me to say, Richard? Agree with you? It’ll be a cold day in hell’.

     ‘ Can I take it the boys are mine?’

     Angela looked up at him defiantly. ‘ I won’t even dignify that with a reply’.

     ‘ It’s Peter Irvine isn’t it’

     ‘ What is? What the hell are you talking about?’

     ‘ He’s the one you went to see in London’.

     ‘ That’s absurd’

     Richard crossed the space between them and slapped her face hard. She jumped out of her seat and made for the door but Richard kicked it shut before she got there. He grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her back into her seat.

     ‘ I haven’t finished with you yet!’

     ‘ You’ll regret laying a hand on me, Richard. You wait and see’.

     ‘ Oh, threats now is it? Are you going to get Derek Campbell to wait behind a corner with a baseball bat?’

     ‘ You really are pathetic’.

     ‘ Oh no, Angela. I’m not the one who’s pathetic. I’m not the one who slept with a terrorist twenty years ago, a man who turned out to be gay’. He laughed. ‘ And then he pretended to be dead all this time. He must’ve been desperate to get away from you, Angela. What a kick in the guts that must’ve been’.

     ‘ I loved him! I loved him but he betrayed me!’

     ‘ Yea’ said Richard ‘ Of course he did’. He opened the door and walked out of the room.

     Angela followed him. ‘ Where are you going?’ she demanded.

     ‘ I’m packing my bags’ said Richard as he went up the stairs. ‘ I’m leaving you, Angela’.

     ‘ Oh no you’re not! Nobody walks out on me and gets away with it’.

     ‘ Watch me’.

     ‘ I’ll take your job away from you’.

     ‘ I’ll get another one’ said Richard, looking down on her from the top. ‘ Either here or somewhere else. I’m not going to say I’m gay or dead. But I am getting away from you’.

     Angela ran up the stairs after him.

     ‘ I don’t care what happens to me’ said Richard as he threw some things into an overnight bag. ‘ My concern is for Natalie. You must’ve hated her father so much’

     ‘ I do hate him! He sold his own comrades down the river and left me’.

     ‘ And you’ve taken it out on poor Natalie ever since’.

     ‘ Don’t play the pop psychologist on me, Richard. It doesn’t bloody well suit you’.

     ‘ I brought up another man’s child because I loved you, Angela’.

     ‘ Oh don’t make me puke’ she sneered. ‘ You married me for my family’s money, Richard. I’ve never been under any illusions about that’.

     ‘ Really? I’m surprised your family has got any money left what with the funding of terrorism and the paying off of all those girls your brother violated. You disgust me, Angela, sticking up for a sick bastard like him’.

     ‘ Well if I’m sick then you’re bloody ungrateful! My family has made you who you are. If it wasn’t for our money you’d have been nothing’.

     ‘ Do you know what disgusts me as well, Angela?’ Richard went on, ignoring her snide comment. ‘ Old money like you doesn’t want things to move on in Northern Ireland. That’s why you don’t like the way things are going. You think that if we have a normal society where bombs don’t go off every five minutes and people just get on with the business of living, a growing middle class would start to take away your superiority and your right to Lord it all over everybody. You need terrorism to prop up what you think is your place and that disgusts me more than anything’.

     ‘ Oh is that right? Well enjoy your little moment in the sun, Richard. It won’t last I can assure you of that’.

     ‘ I’m going to make sure they throw the book at you, Angela. Terrorism, money laundering, concealing evidence of paedophilia committed against your own daughter. You’ll go down forever’.

     ‘ You’d really do that to me? Has the time we’ve spent together meant so little to you?’

     ‘ The time we’ve spent together has been so full of lies and deceit. I can barely look at you anymore. I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff’.

     ‘ Richard, wait!’ she called. ‘ You’ve got to let me explain’.

     Richard stood at the top of the stairs. ‘ Explain what? I already know everything. You may not have admitted to being with Peter Irvine in London last night but I know that’s who you were with. I had you followed, Angela. I’ve got pictures. I’ll be sending copies to his wife’.

     Angela grabbed Richard’s arm. ‘ No, you can’t, please, Richard. Peter and I aren’t like that. We’re in … well we’re in business together’.

     ‘ What kind of business?’

     ‘ I’ll make you a settlement offer and we can have a quiet divorce once it’s all over if that’s what you really want’.

     ‘ Once what is all over? Angela, what are you talking about?’

     ‘ I can’t say, Richard, but it’s for our community, for unionism … ‘

     ‘ … ah save it!’ He pulled his arm away and turned back to the stairs.

     ‘ Richard, no, please!’

     Angela grabbed hold of Richard’s arm again but he was too far forward and it caused him to lose his balance. She took her opportunity and pushed him over the banister. He fell head first onto the hall floor below and she watched his blood pour out of the back of his head.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Mark walked up to his desk and slumped heavily into his chair. He really couldn’t care less about whether or not his team was meeting the bank’s target of getting people to place all their unsecured debts into a loan secured on their property. What they were saying to them is that basically we don’t want you to be fucked by lots of little pricks, we want you to be totally fucked right royal without lubrication by one massive big prick and if you can’t subsequently afford the repayments we’ll take your house and totally fucking fuck you! He needed some time out.

     ‘ Mark … ‘

     Lynne’s trembling voice came behind him and he turned round to see her crying her eyes out. He stood up and put his arms round her.

     ‘ Russell’s left me’ she whimpered. ‘ He said some horrible things’.

     ‘ Oh love, I’m sorry’.

     ‘ The thing is I’m furious’.

     ‘ What about?’

     ‘ That he did it to me before I had the chance to do it to him. How can I tell people in Alderley Edge that I’ve been dumped for another woman?’

     Mark could’ve laughed. There she was, doing her best to secure his sympathy and yet underneath she was more upset because Russell had outplayed her. 

     ‘ I suppose it does happen to the best of them, love’.

     ‘ But not to me, Mark! It doesn’t happen to me!’

     She was really throwing her toys out now. Tantrums and tiaras had nothing on her.

     ‘ Sit down’ he said, pulling up a chair next to his. She sat down and held his hand as she went on.

     ‘ I mean, could you see it coming?’ she asked.

     Mark decided that the only thing for it was to tell the truth. She never backed off from doing that to him when she thought it was necessary, no matter how hurt it had sometimes made him feel, so she was going to get some of her own medicine.

     ‘ Yes’ he said.

     Lynne’s face turned sour. ‘ How?’

     ‘ Well … I think you made him feel like a stranger in his own house’.

     ‘ I see’.

     He knew she didn’t want to hear this but so be it. ‘ Everything in your house is about you and Amelia, Lynne’.

     ‘ But Russell should understand that’ she insisted.

     ‘ Why should he? You were supposed to be a family of three’

     ‘ Because he’s the adult and she’s the child’.

     ‘ I don’t follow?’

     ‘ Well he should understand that I give all my attention to my daughter because she’s a child and wouldn’t understand if I didn’t give her all my attention’.

     ‘ First of all, I think that’s a load of old crap and second of all, what’s your husband supposed to do in the meantime? ‘

     ‘ Amelia needs me’.

     ‘ So does he. And what about the way you treated him?’

     ‘ Oh so we’re back to the sex thing again. I won’t be a slag for anybody, Mark’.

     ‘ Lynne, you haven’t had sex with Russell for years, not just months. If he still wanted it after all that time I don’t think that’s treating you as a slag’.

     ‘ Well that’s how I felt’.

     ‘ And what about how he felt, Lynne? Just think of the way you spoke to him. Like that time I came over for dinner and he was late because he was in Manchester with some clients. It didn’t bother me, it was part of his job, but you rang him and told him how you were not impressed and that you expected him home on the next train. He’s a grown man, he’s your husband, and you were talking to him like he was some wayward teenager who could expect to be grounded when he got home’.

     ‘ I have to have things my own way and he’s always known that’.

     ‘ Oh for Christ’s sake! You need to grow up, Lynne, I’m sorry to say it but you do. Do you want to save your marriage?’

     ‘ Well financially it doesn’t really make any difference’ she said in a level voice devoid of all emotion. ‘ I’m more concerned about losing face and being the only divorcee on our little private road. But in terms of me and Amelia living our day-to-day lives it would probably be easier if Russell wasn’t there to tell you the truth’.

     ‘ And you wonder why he’s fallen in love with someone else?’

     ‘ You mean you know about Linda? How do you know about her?’

     Oh shit! He’d let the fucking cat out of the bag now. He rubbed his face in his hands and then looked up at her.

     ‘ Mark?’

     ‘ Lynne, I promise you, I didn’t know it was Russell who’d rented my house’.

     ‘ He’s renting your house?’ she exclaimed. ‘ Oh this just gets better and better! You bastard. You’re supposed to be my friend’.

     ‘ Lynne, I’m not going to condemn Russell as a bastard because I don’t think he is and I didn’t tell you when I found out he’d rented my house because he asked me not to and I respected his confidence’.

     Lynne snorted. ‘ Oh how touching. Gay or straight you men stick together. I feel so let down by you, Mark'.

     ‘ Yeah? Well you’ll get over it’.

     ‘ What has got into you? You’re not the only one who’s suffered you know’.

     Mark seethed with anger. ‘ You’re not bringing my parents into this?’

     Lynne held her hands up. ‘ I’m only saying’.

     ‘ You’ve got a fucking nerve! If it wasn’t for your neurotic manipulation of your husband we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You decided what Russell wanted and you used your womb to get it. Falling pregnant? With all the contraception that’s in any chemist’s shop? Don’t insult my intelligence. Then you got the ring, the house, the 4x4 and Russell becomes completely irrelevant so you push him until he falls down and now you’ll have at least half of what he’s spent years earning. Someone who’s got such a hang-up about sex has used it to commit daylight robbery’.

     ‘ Excuse me, I’m entitled to … ‘

     ‘ … yes and he’s entitled to a life that you were no longer prepared to give him! I don’t think you’ve ever got beyond believing that nothing in this world matters except you. Do you know what it's like to lose both your parents in one go when you're still a child yourself? Well of course you wouldn't know. All you know about is giving away a child that was inconvenient to you’.