The Widow's Friend (3 page)

And so the days went by. I got up every morning and went
through my routine, but somehow there was something missing. Really now, we
were just old friends, so what should be the problem? I tried to be mature
about this whole thing and remain emotionally detached, but it was hard not to
think about her, and the wait-time toyed with my emotions.

And then one more agonizing week went by, and still nothing.
I began to wonder if she would ever write again. Maybe I’d have to wait another
thirty-something years. Had I done something wrong? I was tempted every day to
shoot off an e-mail and ask if I’d done anything stupid, or ask if she was
okay, or ask her anything at all, anything to just make contact and see her
words again. But I resisted. I knew if I did I would show weakness and lose her
respect. It would ruin everything if I didn’t wait for her reply, and I had no
intention of knocking this train off its tracks, as hard as it was for me to
sit and wait.

Then something strange happened. My mind wandered off to
other women, women from the past, and a few from not so long ago. It didn’t
happen intentionally, I guess it was just an old habit from my dating years in
the past. It was a common trick back then to forget one girl by finding
another, but things were a little different now. I intentionally blocked them
from my thoughts because they didn’t matter anyway, and what was really the
point? I didn’t care about anyone else, really. I hadn’t contacted Callii for
romantic reasons in the first place, and I still wasn’t entirely sure why we
were talking. For whatever the reason, I had been compelled to reach out and
make contact with her, that’s all. But I had to admit, romance had taken over,
and it had taken hold very quickly, not intentionally, but quickly just the
same.

I cleared my mind and reflected on Callii again. I thought
of her face and I thought of her smile. I thought of her neck and I thought of
her eyes. You see, I had cheated a bit. There was a picture of Callii on
Facebook, it was a recent picture taken by a friend at their high school
reunion. I had copied it to my desktop and viewed it frequently, and I was glad
it was there.

Time passed. I tried to be cavalier and not let the waiting
get to me, but who was I kidding? You can only imagine how I felt. It was just
me and the cat, alone on the patio, and I was glad to have her. We talked a
lot, at least I talked and she listened. She pretended to understand and I pretended
she did too. It was a good relationship—she never talked back. But the clock
was ticking and I was anxious still.

I kept myself busy enough. I was working with my artist on
the cover for my new book. I was shopping for a new car, and my granddaughter
visited almost every weekend. But frankly, I was beginning to get impatient.
Was this worth all the angst? I wasn’t really sure, and yet, life still went
on.

“Thinking
Things Over”

I’d been back from Los Angeles for about a week now, and I
was starting to get bored. I had a couple of shows coming up, but they were
still a ways off. My mind had touched back to Levi a bit, lately. I felt
somewhat guilty for not returning his e-mail, mainly because I’d given him no
explanation. But he was married—what was really the point? But still, I was
curious, so I fired off another message. A little more talk certainly couldn’t
do much harm. And after all, I really was bored, and that had always been my
Achilles’ heel.

From Callii Wilson

Sept 25th

Hi Levi, I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to write back. I’ve
just been so busy. Life is hectic. I’m sure you know what I mean.

I just got back from a shopping trip to LA. It was great
fun. We even went to Disneyland for a day, though I was quite dizzy for most of
the afternoon after riding on Space Mountain. And now I’m getting ready for a
couple of gift fairs that are coming up. You see, I have a side business called
“Little Dolls”. I make old fashioned porcelain dolls and sell them at the
shows.

I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to write. Have you been doing
anything fun?

Thanks for answering, Callii

“Finally”

Finally, an e-mail had lit up my life. My heart was racing
but my intellect warned me to slow down. Callii had stiffed me for almost three
weeks now, and without an explanation of any kind. Though thoughts of Callii
still excited me, the burners of my heart had gone from medium high to medium
low. I felt a little more wary now, and the song “Who are you?” ran through my
head even more.

I was a little bit overwhelmed. I mean, who goes on shopping
trips to Los Angeles, no one that I knew. She might have flown back from Paris
for all that mattered. I felt inconsequential.

“What should I do?” I asked the cat. “I’m not sure how to
handle this.” She began to purr and hopped up on my lap. The night was cool.
October was just around the corner. In the distance, the lights of a home
sparkled. The stars of night twinkled up above. Down the street, a dog
barked—the cat didn’t flinch.

“Are there any words of wisdom from my feline friend?” I
muttered. She stopped purring.

“So that’s it, I should cool off a bit, huh?” She raised her
head and glanced into my eyes.

“Got it!” I answered obediently. I opened my laptop. Its
greenish hue lit up the night. It seemed fitting somehow to play it cool, and I
began to tap away. It wasn’t like me to be…unfriendly, but I gave it my best
shot. What would be would be, but it made me a little nervous. My heart still
burned on medium low.

From Levi Stone

Sept 28th

Hi Callii, it’s nice to have you back home again. “Little
Dolls” is a cute name for your business. It reminds me of a woman I know who
had a flower shop called “The Blooming Idiot”. Heh, heh…. That’s called
incoherent relativism, for whatever that’s worth.

How tall are you? Two different people have told me that you’re
tall, and both times I replied, “She couldn’t be that tall—I dated her.”

Also, which gift fairs are you preparing for? “Making dolls
is a talent and I’ll bet you’re good at it.

Things are boring here, as usual.

Write soon, Levi.

“Boring?”

So Levi thinks he’s boring, I’m almost beginning to believe
it, but he seems intriguing too. Some of the things he says….

I’ll write soon this time. He deserves a quickie. Oops, what
am I thinking? But I will respond. After all, there’s nothing else going on at
the moment.

From Callii Wilson

Oct 2nd

Okay, so how tall am I? As I recall, I am taller than you. I
have always dated guys that are shorter than me. I don’t know why but the tall
guys like short girls. For example, my three boys are all 6’ 2” or taller, and
they all have wives that are about 5’ 3” or so. I do think I have shrunk some.
I am about 5’ 6”. Not only have I gotten shorter but I have also gotten
rounder. I guess that comes with age.

I saw your picture on Facebook. You guys had a football
party, huh? What a handsome bunch. I can’t believe you left your wives home,
though. That seems a little odd.

It’s getting late and I am tired. My little Mattie is back
with me for a few days and she is wearing me out. I start getting her ready for
bed about 7:30, but I can’t seem to get her to settle down and get to sleep.
She keeps coming out of the bedroom to talk to me, or show me a sore, or any
other excuse she can come up with to not have to go to sleep. I have to
threaten her with calling her mom to come and get her for her to finally give
up. Got any suggestions?

Well, enough for now.

Have a good nite, Callii

P. S. I forgot to answer the other question. I am preparing
for a craft fair in Pocatello and another one in Salt Lake City. I think I
might have to cancel the one in Salt Lake City because my little sister is
having heart surgery. She was going to have it on October 5th, but as of today
they are moving it back a bit. She is going to need some help, so I will be
traveling to Iowa once again.

***

From Levi Stone

Oct 3rd

Hey, it’s nice of you to respond so quickly, not that you
need to, but for awhile there I thought I might have to wait another thirty or
forty years to hear from you again.

I’m calling in sick tonight—for tomorrow. I have a short
road trip with an old friend. The only part I dislike is making the phone call
to work and telling them that I’m not feeling well. Sigh—I hate to feel
dishonest, but there’s always something that doesn’t feel right: a slight
cough, a sprained finger, or an arthritic joint.

Now, how tall am I? I was five foot eight when I graduated
from high school and I still am. Neener, neener, neener—I’m taller than you. Do
you wear high heels? That would make you look taller. And you were petite back
then, which always makes women look smaller. I don’t remember you being tall,
so…it must be your shoes. I remember that you were a babe, and not a towering
babe, so bring it on.

I think back to when I saw your picture in my yearbook a few
months ago. I had seen your picture and that of many other classmates numerous
times over the years, and no one had ever jumped off the page at me like that
before. And in fact, I looked at your picture again last week and it was just a
picture, there was nothing electric about it at all—sorry! But now we’re
talking and I still don’t know why, it just kind of happened.

Last night I was mowing the lawn and a thought went through
my head. It made me smile. The thought was:
I’ll
bet Mom was behind all of this
! That just seemed to make sense and I
wondered why I hadn’t thought of it earlier. You would have had to know my
mother. She was an energetic little five footer that was always doing things
for other people. And now that she’s up there on the other side, she
understands what I go through in my marriage—because she can see. So anyway,
there you go. Nothing too dramatic and kind of dumb, but it happened and it
still makes sense, at least to me it does.

So now, please tell me about your gift fairs. I may try and
come to one and buy a doll or two, Christmas presents for the little ones. And
don’t worry, I’m harmless and I’m a bit round myself. It does come with age, I
guess. I just want to see you for a minute, that’s all.

Levi

P.S. Sorry, upon further review it seems I forgot to answer
all of your questions. It’s getting late and I’ll try to make this as fast as I
can.

First, I hope everything will be okay with your sister. I’m
sure there’s a story there. It’s nice that you have the time and freedom to
help her out.

I was hoping you wouldn’t see that picture of me on
Facebook. I’ve told a brother several times over the last few years that, “I
damn well look better in real life than I do in pictures or I’m screwed.”

And we’re certainly not a handsome bunch, and we know it.
After all, we’re pushing towards sixty. We know who we are and we’re not afraid
to admit it.

Our group of friends doesn’t get together all that much, but
we did have another football party at Ty Morrison’s place just last week. Two
of our group, Jack Davis and Rick Sundstrum have remained very close over the
years, though. They have a great friendship and I’m a little jealous of that,
actually.

As for kids and bedtime, Lexi just turned eight and she’s
been tough to get to sleep for forever. She thinks that every weekend she gets
to stay up late and fall asleep in front of a movie or something. After all it’s
the weekend and she never lets me forget it. I have more conflict in my life
over Lexi than any other single issue. Mary thinks she has to parent her, and I
just try to give her love and a feeling of security so she’ll know that we’re
always here for her. Anyway, trust me, it ain’t easy. I wish I had a few
suggestions for you. It seems like parenting a grandkid is harder than it was
raising my own. I raised three kids just as natural as natural, but this little
girl wears me out.

Well, my eyes are beginning to slam shut.

Good nite, Levi

***

From Callii Wilson

Oct 5th

Boy, am I getting good at this or what? It’s not even twenty
four hours later and you are getting an e-mail from me. Well, I took your
advice. My granddaughter is in bed watching television right now. I hope she
falls asleep soon because it is 8:45 and she didn’t go to sleep till about 9:30
last night. We were up at 6:00 this morning taking care of her physical needs.
I am so tired and I can’t sleep because she is such a noisy sleeper. She stays
in my room with me because it is the only bedroom on the main floor and she won’t
sleep upstairs or down because she is scared. I think she is going home for the
weekend and I can catch up on everything then. I have had her baby brother all
day today, too, and I also had him all day on Tuesday. He is a handful. He
thinks he needs to be outside the whole time he is here.

I loved hearing you tell me how cute I was when I was young,
but then you hurt my feelings by saying that I am now just another picture. I’m
sorry. I know that’s a little immature.

I think your mom has a sense of humor, and I am guessing
that your mom has not spoken to mine up there in Heaven, because if she had my
mom would have warned her about me, and she would never have sent you in my
direction! But you’re so cute, and I love your take on things.

So, I would love to read some of your books or articles. Where
would I find such a thing?

Did you have fun on your little daytrip? Where did you go?
What kind of sickness did you come up with?