The Wave at Hanging Rock: A Psychological Mystery and Suspense Thriller (11 page)

And there wasn’t anyone in the school who didn’t see it. All the boys were in love with her. All of us. Lots of them - the honest ones - would talk about how they’d wanked off the night before thinking about her, but you knew that everyone was at it. It wasn’t just us kids either, you’d catch the teachers gazing at her when they thought no one was looking, and you can bet they were doing it as well. But anyway. Even though there were quite a few school romances springing up by then, Cara Williams never had a boyfriend at school. And the reason for that was simple, she was so obviously in a different league to any of us, there was no point trying it on.
 

And maybe this made her lonely. Maybe it was me coming from Australia that made me a little bit exotic too, or maybe she just kinda fancied me a bit, that’s not so hard to believe is it? All that surfing was making me fit too. So I don’t know exactly what it was but one day, as I was walking between classes I noticed she was in front of me, with her backpack slung on one shoulder, and the zip open. A couple of exercise books were just about to fall out and without thinking I just called out.

“Hey Cara,”

She turned around, as she did so one of the books slid out to the floor. Back in Oz my Mum had been really hot on things like manners and I stooped down to pick them up.

“Thanks Jesse,” she said, giving me this smile that made everything else in the world instantly less important. There was no surprise that she knew my name, that’s just how small the school was, but I was surprised that she used it.
 

Her hand brushed mine as she took the books back. I’d never noticed before but even her hands were beautiful.

“No problem,” I said. I felt a bit weird and I turned to walk on.
 

“I’d be in trouble if I lost that,” she called out to me. “That’s from Mr Johnston’s class.”

I hadn’t been expecting a conversation to start and was already a few steps away, I had to turn back to reply.
 

“Yeah?”
 

“He’s pretty strict about homework.”
 

She’d slipped her bag off her shoulder to put the books back, and in so doing her white blouse, which was unbuttoned at the top, had also slipped a bit, you could see her bra strap where it pressed into the smooth skin on her shoulder.
 

“Yeah, I guess.” I said.
 

“Don’t you think?”

 
I couldn’t think of anything clever to say so I just said the first thing that came to my mind.

“Back in Oz you wouldn’t have called him strict. He’d be average at worst.”

“Really?” The backpack was swung back onto her back, pulling her blouse tight against her chest again. The strap forced itself between her two breasts, clearly defining each of them. For the first time I felt awkward as I tried not to look.
 

“Were the teachers there much stricter there then?”

“Yeah I guess.” I said. I made myself look at her eyes, but that was unnerving, looking into those beautiful eyes, I refocused just on her nose, though that was pretty cute too. “I went to school in the city, so you got like, troubled kids there. The teachers had to be really on it.”

“That sounds terrible.”

I shrugged. “It was OK.”

“Where was it you came from? In Australia I mean?” she asked.

“Up on the Gold Coast. Queensland.”

“I’d love to go there. I’d love to travel the world,” she said and gave this little sigh which made her nose wrinkle. I’d never been this close to her before, and I’d never had a conversation. It had never crossed my mind that as well as being crazy beautiful she was also a real person who had hopes and dreams. And for some reason that washed away my embarrassment.
 

“Really?”
 

“Oh yeah. I mean I like it here but,” she wrinkled her nose some more so I went back to staring at those eyes. You could lose yourself for ever in those eyes.
 

“I’d love to see the world as well.”

“Yeah, me too,” I said. I’d have agreed with anything. She could have said: “I’d love to be buried alive in a coffin with the lid screwed down” and I’d have gone along with it.

“You’ve got science now haven’t you? With me. Do you want to walk together. You could tell me about Australia.”

I don’t know what you remember about being fourteen, but at that school this sort of thing was considered fucking embarrassing. Whatever it was that was going on I mean, and it wasn’t exactly clear what that was. I couldn’t tell if she just wanted to be friends, or if we were going to start being boyfriend and girlfriend any minute. But whatever it was she was doing, she was pretty expert at it. For a few weeks after that all we did was say hi to each other sometimes when we passed in the corridors. Occasionally she’d make it so we ended up sat next to each other in class, or sharing the same table for lunch, but never just the two of us. It was like she was gradually allowing me in. If she ever heard anyone joke that she might fancy me she backed right off, but not for too long. And by gradually making it normal to include me within the people she talked to, the other kids got to the point where they accepted we were kind of friends. I guess she was pretty used to being watched and talked about. It made her sensitive to these things.
 

Her house was up in the village, a little way on from Darren’s, and one time after school his mum had promised me dinner and it just ended up the three of us walking together, Cara and me chatting easily. It was weird really, most of the boys couldn’t talk to her at all, but because of the way she spoke to me, I could. Even though I was as tongue tied as everyone else with most of the other pretty girls. It helped that Darren was just as embarrassed as I should have been. He just walked along a bit behind us, not saying anything. But even he couldn’t keep his eyes off this beautiful creature I was with.
 

 
“What you doing tonight?” she asked, as we stopped outside Darren’s house.

“Nothing much,” I said. And I wish I’d been a bit quicker to see where this was going.

“Me neither,” she said. And did that thing with her nose again. “My parents are out until later too.” She gave me a smile so powerful it nearly knocked me over and when I recovered the only thing I could think to say was.

“Actually I’ve got to do some homework for Mr Johnston. You know what he’s like.” And I laughed like we were sharing some secret joke that Darren wouldn’t understand. At the time I thought that was pretty clever, but she just glanced at Darren like she was frustrated he was still there. She waited a while, but in the end she shrugged her shoulders.
 

“OK, well, I’ll maybe see you tomorrow.” She gave me her smile again but she’d turned the power right down this time.
 

“Bye Jesse. Bye Darren.” And then she walked off up the hill. We both watched her until she was out of sight before stepping inside Darren’s gate and going inside his house. I didn’t enjoy Darren’s mum’s dinner that night. I was already regretting not going with Cara. I think I had a sense then I might regret not going for years to come. I still think about what a dumb fucking move it was today. It’s nice sometimes these days to worry about normal shit alongside all the other stuff.

Anyway, for the next week I kept hoping Darren’s mum would invite me round to his again after school, so I could have an excuse to walk Cara home again. Only this time I’d walk Cara all the way home first. My teenage mind played out all sorts of fantasises about what would happen next. And that’s when Darren put me straight.

We were having lunch, sitting in the school field with our backs to the fence and sandwich boxes open on our knees. I was talking about Cara. What I mean is, I was talking about her again. I think that time I was telling him how she was actually a really nice girl and all, despite being so pretty, and I guess Darren just got sick of me talking about her.

“You know she’s seeing some older guy don’t you?”

The euphoric little world I’d been constructing in my mind cracked with a jolt.

“Who Cara?” I checked. I felt like my life was on a cliff edge.

“Of course Cara. She just wants to be your friend. She doesn’t fancy you. You do know that don’t you?”

“Who says I fancy her? I just want to be her friend too.” I said, my cheeks flushing even though it was only Darren.
 

“Yeah right Jesse. Everyone fancies her. Just look at her.”

I’ve already said how everyone was in love with Cara, but I don’t think I’d ever connected that with me being friends with her. It hadn’t occurred to me that everyone must know that I fancied her too. But Darren had this really simple, plain-speaking way of seeing the world and you couldn’t argue with it.

“Who says she’s going out with someone?” I asked, my voice sounding strange to me.

“The whole school.”

There had been rumours about Cara spreading through the school for as long as I’d been attending there. Sometimes is was minor stuff - like a buzz of excitement that she wasn’t wearing a bra, or was going to be outside a certain classroom doing PE. Sometimes it was more major stuff, like theories about a teacher leaving because he couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping with his wife after teaching her maths, or rumours that she’d lost her virginity. So I had no trouble believing Darren that there was a rumour, but that didn’t mean it was true.

“Bollocks.”

“It’s true.”

“Alright. Who is he?”

“I dunno. I don’t know his name, apparently it’s some older guy. Probably got his own car and everything.”

I was silent.

“Lucky bastard though. Getting to shag that. Can you imagine?” Darren went on. This was a pretty funny thing to say since hardly any of us knew what it was like to shag anyone at that stage, and certainly not Darren. But that was the way we talked. Like we were at it every night.
 

“But how do they know?” I asked again. I could feel the panic. I was creating excuses for her in my mind, reasons why this rumour was just the latest false accusation to be thrown at poor Cara Williams. Cara who was actually secretly in love with me.

“I dunno. She tells her friends probably.”

As he said this there was a break in the greyness above our heads and a shaft of sunlight lit up the school in front of us. Somehow it brought my panic under control and I even smiled a little. I realised what was happening. It was as beautiful as it was obvious. Cara
herself
had started this rumour. And I knew why. She was doing what she’d done since we first talked. She was doing it because she didn’t want the whole school knowing about her true feelings for me.
 

That weekend there weren’t any waves, but John and Darren and me hung out together during the day anyway. Darren had given in to John’s pestering and cleaned the caravan, so we were in there again. I don’t remember us doing much, but I suggested to Darren that he come back after he’d been home for his dinner and hang out some more. Darren agreed of course, but when I mentioned it to John, expecting a similar response, he got a bit vague.
 

“Yeah maybe,” he said at first, then seemed to make up his mind. “No actually I can’t tonight. I’m doing something.”

“What?” I asked.
 

“Just something.”
 

“Just what?” It wasn’t like I felt he had to tell me, it was more that we’d never had any reason to keep anything from each other. You either did what you wanted, or what your parents made you do, and there was no reason to keep either of those secret from mates.

“Nothing. I’ve just got a date.” You could tell he was trying really hard to say it nonchalantly, but he didn’t really manage it. Even Darren dropped the magazine he was reading in surprise.
 

“A date?” I asked. “With a girl?”

“Yeah. Course with a girl.”
 

“Who is she?”

“Just some girl.”

“From your school?” Darren interrupted and we both looked at him like he was stupid.

“I go to a single sex school Darren.” John said. “There’s only boys there.”

There was an awkward silence for a moment, but I couldn’t let it drop, the thought occurred to me that our relationship might move onto a new level, a situation where both John and me were going out with our girlfriends, where we might double date like they did in American movies, whatever that actually entailed. We’d probably drop Darren, you wouldn’t want someone like him hanging around, getting in the way, saying stupid things like that all the time.

“Where did you meet her then?” I asked.

John looked embarrassed to be talking about it, but seemed to realise we weren’t going to let the subject be dropped in and forgotten as casually as he’d tried.
 

“She comes to my school some afternoons for music practice,” he said. “She plays the flute or something.”

“No way?” This was totally incredible news because Cara also played the flute. You’d see her carrying the little case around school sometimes. Half the boys took up an instrument in the hope of sharing music lessons with her. But for me this meant that mine and John’s girlfriends had something in common. They could play their flutes together while we went surfing. This was fantastic.
 

“Actually you might know her,” John went on, less embarrassed now that I’d shown my obvious enthusiasm for the subject. “I think she goes to your school. Cara something.”

The horrible truth struck Darren before me. I just couldn’t make sense of it. Could they even share the
same name
?

“It’s not Cara Williams is it?” said Darren.

“Yeah, that’s it. Do you know her?” John asked.
 

“Course I fucking do. Everyone knows her. She’s like the hottest girl in school.” He was staring at John, who shrugged awkwardly.
 

“Fucking hell John, you’re going on a date with Cara Williams?” Darren was so surprised he’d forgotten how he normally talked to John, he’d left out the respect. “Where are you taking her?”