The Voice of Reason: A V.I.P. Pass to Enlightenment (31 page)

BOOK: The Voice of Reason: A V.I.P. Pass to Enlightenment
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Luring someone into a sense of complacency is both simple and artful. It requires subtlety, an understanding of your enemy’s basic behavior, and a reasonably functioning set of critical thinking skills (three strikes, Lyoto; tough break). I am not talking about reverse psychology, which is simple enough to figure out and gets you only so far before your nemesis catches on. Reverse psychology is the mere act of using words and behavior to imply that you want the opposite of what you really want, without a whole lot of art or manipulation.

Sticking with just the reverse-psychology game is manipulative and condescending, and assumes that the person you are trying to deceive has the mental capacity of Sidney Crosby after that sixteenth concussion. The tactic works great if you are squaring off against a high school student, a drunk, or virtually anyone who watches
Portlandia
, or if you are using it as a one-shot strategy. If you are up against someone who has even the faintest twinkle of common sense behind his eyes, or if you keep repeating this move, someone is going to catch on to your game plan. When that happens, suddenly you will be the one who is lured into a false sense of security, and at that point you deserve whatever equivalence of a penlight gets shined in your glassy eyes. Play this card sparingly and randomly or only if you are very, very, painfully bored.

The simplest way to lure someone into a false sense of security is to play every card you have very close to your vest. In my industry you can’t get anyone to shut up, from the champs to the scuttling little newcomers who just got off the bus like wide-eyed Kansas preachers’ daughters with dreams of becoming actresses. If you shut up about what counts, you have power.

 

Do not give away exactly how you prepared, what you are expecting, what you intend to do, or where your strengths and weaknesses lie. If you do, you might as well draw your opponents a perfectly scaled map of Victory Lane. If they don’t know what you have going for you, they will have to guess, and eventually they’ll guess wrong.

 
 

 

There is more to keeping your mouth shut about your game plan than just keeping the other guy guessing. In fact, a very underrated tactic is simply coming off as weaker or less capable, the old rope-a-dope. Few things are more entertaining than watching a David beat a Goliath, but it’s even better when David turns out to be an even meaner, stronger, more vicious badass than that punk Goliath ever was. This is because we love to watch the pompous morons get their legs knocked out from under them. Call it the broken-bird routine, or a wolf in sheep’s clothing—call it whatever you want. The approach has merit, and proves especially funny in my industry. Case in point: Remember when BJ Penn shredded the “great” Matt Hughes into taco meat in thirty-odd seconds? The defense rests.

 
 

 

It never hurts to throw in a feint every now and then. This relates to reverse psychology a little, I guess, but is much better friends with good old-fashioned deception, straight up, without ice. My crazy Irish friend’s even crazier Irish father always says that you should be able to tell the truth so outlandishly that it comes off like a lie, and then tell lies with a straight face so they have to believe you. I don’t know if I would go so far as to agree with him, but he’s absolutely right. (See what I did there? Of course you didn’t.)

 
 

 

Dodge questions about what will eventually be your most venomous weapon, or at least downplay them. Change your tactics completely in midstream to keep them guessing. For example, say you hypothetically explain in detail how you prepared for an upcoming fight by going to Brazil, even though you never went. (I would never do that.) It’s a trick favored by politicians, talk-show personalities, and virtually everyone who wants to get the best of anyone else. If done right (that is, done the way I would do it if I used this trick), it will work brilliantly on your opponent.

 

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