The victim (24 page)

you. You weren't even in my mind." Leventhal laughed outright at this. "You could have jumped in the river. That's a funny lie. Why tell it? Did you have to use my kitchen?" Allbee glanced around restlessly. The bays that rose into his loose blond hair became crimson. "No," he said miserably. "Well, anyhow, I don't remember how it was. I must have been demented. When you turn against yourself, nobody else means anything to you either." Bitterly shame-faced and self-mocking, he took Leventhal's hand and pressed it. "But I want to say that I owe you something. I was trying to get around it when I talked about trying to kill myself only." He spoke with great difficulty. "I don't want to exaggerate, but I don't want to play it down either. I know I owe you something. I knew it that night when I was standing in your shower..." Leventhal pulled his hand away. "What do you do out there, are you an actor?" "An actor? No, I'm in radio. Advertising. It's a middle-sized job. So you see? I've made my peace with things as they are. I've gotten off the pony--you remember, I said that to you once? I'm on the train." "A conductor?" "Conductor, hell! I'm just a passenger." His laugh was short and faint. "Not even first class. I'm not the type that runs things. I never could be. I realized that long ago. I'm the type that comes to terms with whoever runs things. What do I care? The world wasn't made exactly for me. What am I going to do about it?" "What?" Leventhal smiled at him. "Approximately made for me will have to be good enough. All that stiffness of once upon a time, that's gone, that's gone." The crowd was beginning to return. The curtain bell had rung. "Anyway, I'm enjoying life." Suddenly he looked around and said, "Say, I've got to run. Yvonne will send them out looking for me." "Wait a minute, what's your idea of who runs things?" said Leventhal. But he heard Mary's voice at his back. Allbee ran in and sprang up the stairs. The bell continued its dinning, and Leventhal and Mary were still in the aisle when the houselights went off. An usher showed them to their seats.

The End