The Vicar's Frozen Heart (10 page)

Regardless, Eliza becoming a governess changed the dynamics entirely. Curse his upbringing, but a governess was more off limits than a barmaid. The distinction made by society was hypocritical, as were his thoughts, yet it threw up an extra barrier between them and he was glad of it. Or so he told himself. He wanted her in whatever guise or occupation she undertook.

The most disturbing thing was that he would see her more often, as he met with Jon once or twice a week, and he had also promised Drew that he would check in on a regular basis. Since the vicarage and church sat on the edge of the Hawkestone Estate, it was easily a good stretch of the legs to the main house. He often walked there for exercise with the hope it would elevate at least some of the pain from his leg and thigh, or he took the gig if in too much discomfort. The injury did ensure riding a horse was no longer viable. God, how he missed it. Bloody unfair, yet why bemoan the fact? At least he still lived, though that could be argued.

His damaged heart and soul remained the chief reason he must keep his distance from Eliza. Truly, he should have thrust a roll of banknotes at her and sent her along by mail coach to Dover or Ashton to catch the train to whatever destination she wished.

Far from him, his desires, and dormant, lustful nature.
Not so dormant now.
Tremain was pulled from his ruminating thoughts when the carriage came to a stop in front of the inn. The young man Jon just hired, Terrance Jackson, jumped down and opened the door, pulling down the metal steps to allow Tremain to exit the carriage.

Eliza already stood outside, appearing demure in her wool coat buttoned primly up to her chin. A scarf wrapped around her head hid her glorious auburn locks. Just the thought of running his hands through her stunning hair hardened him further. A good thing his long greatcoat hid his response. Didn’t matter what she wore, he reacted all the same. The bruises had faded and the plaster was no longer on her nose. With the swelling gone he managed to take a good look, and disturbingly, found her even more attractive than he’d first thought.

“I did not expect you to come, Vicar.”

“No. But I thought I should do proper introductions to Drew and the staff.”

She gave him a slight smile. “Thank you.”

Their gazes locked, as if held there by an invisible bond. Similar to the night she walked in on him bathing. Heat covered his body, inflaming his desire once again. The Tompkinses burst through the entrance and broke the spell.

“Get on the stick, lads, load the trunk,” Mr. Tompkins bellowed to Tommy and Terrance. They snapped to action. Mrs. Tompkins looked back and forth between him and Eliza, her eyes narrowing shrewdly. They obviously revealed too much. Tremain grunted and turned away, willing his cold mask to slip into place.

“There, my dear Eliza. Here’s your wages and a little something extra. There’s meat pies and currant cake in the basket, share some with Drew. He’s a good lad and you will both get on well, of that I’ve no doubt.”

By the time Tremain turned around, Eliza was enfolded into one of Mrs. Tompkins’s smothering but warm embraces. Eliza stepped back and gave the couple a sincere smile. “I cannot thank you both enough. You treated me with kindness. I’ll never forget it.”

“Don’t be a stranger, lass. You’re welcome anytime,” Jonas Tompkins declared.

Tremain held out his hand and assisted her into the carriage. He climbed in after her and closed the door. With a snap of the reins the carriage pulled away and Eliza waved to the couple until they turned the corner. Sighing wistfully, she sat back, her gloved hands clutching the basket tightly.

“You will miss them,” Tremain said brusquely.

“I will. They welcomed me into their lives and treated me with a benevolence I did not expect. But you knew that when you approached them, didn’t you?”

Tremain shrugged. “Of anyone in the village, I knew they would take care of you. They are the most generous people I’ve ever known. After your attack, you needed gentle empathy and understanding and the Tompkinses were the ones to give it.”

“But not you,” she whispered.

“No. Not me. Besides, you could not have stayed at my residence. It isn’t done.”

“The Rusty Cockerel did not need another barmaid.” She smiled teasingly.

“No, it didn’t.”

“I have to ask. Shouldn’t Drew have a male tutor to prepare him for his future?”

Tremain sat forward, leaning on his cane with both hands. “I am aware a boy of a certain age should have a male tutor, that it is the done thing. But Drew’s education has been sporadic at best. There is no village school. The children travel to nearby Cranbrook and Drew missed a good deal of time due to his mother’s long illness. Besides the fact the lad has suffered a devastating loss, I believe an intelligent woman such as you would be a good influence on the boy. A nurturing one.” He shrugged. “Something men in general lack.”

“You have a fair point. Who pays to transport the children to Cranbrook?”

“The viscount pays a man to take them by wagon. It is only a few miles. He also pays the school in Cranbrook to educate them.”

Eliza smiled. “Let me guess, it was your scheme to begin with.”

Damn the woman for seeing through him. “Bah. It was cheaper than hiring a teacher and housing and feeding her in Hawksgreen,” he replied dismissively.

“And yet the viscount is sparing no expense for the education of one solitary boy.”

Tremain grunted again. This conversation was dangerously close to revealing his true identity. “Drew is a special case.”

“To you or to the viscount?” she asked softly.

“What does it matter? You have a respectable position once again. I wouldn’t advise acting ungrateful.”

“In other words, keep quiet and do the job I will be paid for.”

“Sound advice. Take it.” He looked away, staring out the window. A good deal of the snow had melted, which made the roads slushy and slow to traverse. The skies were overcast, emitting a rather bleak illumination which pretty much matched his mood. It was a mistake to come. The less contact he had with her, the better.

“I do not mean to pry or probe. I am sorry. I’m very grateful to you and the viscount. His lordship would not have considered me for the position if you had not suggested it. Thank you.” Her voice trembled on the last two words. Eliza took a deep breath and exhaled. “You hardly know me, yet you spoke for me. I owe you so much...”

“Enough. I checked your former employment. I sent more than one telegraph and I also posted a letter, which I hope to receive a reply to soon. You speak very well and show an innate intelligence and a kindhearted nature I believe would benefit the boy. There is nothing left to be said.”

* * * *

Eliza was taken aback by the coldly spoken words. It seemed as if two men resided in him. How to reach the compassionate one buried deep? Why not tell him she’d witnessed it firsthand? Be hanged if she would allow this obstinate man to put her off. “You care for Drew very much. I saw you in the alley with him shortly after his mother passed and heard what you said to him. I observed your face when he embraced you. Do not act as if you are merely following the viscount’s orders, for I’ve seen the proof. Cold and aloof you may project, but at the core it is counterfeit.”

Tremain glared at her, his eyes darkening with a growing fury. “How dare you presume to know my innermost thoughts? You possess the unmitigated gall to eavesdrop on a private and personal conversation? You have no earthly idea what I have endured, what I’ve witnessed…”

“Then tell me,” she whispered.

“I will never tell a living soul. And certainly not you.”

How hurtful. Her heart contracted in pain at his unfeeling words and attempts to push her away. The stubborn vicar did not know her well at all, for this declaration made her all the more determined to breach his icy wall.

“It was not done on purpose. I came upon the two of you quite by accident when I was delivering the food. I admit to lingering longer than I should. But what you told Drew was frank, honest, and from your heart. You have one, don’t deny it. Your flashes of temper do not frighten me into submission. If we are to be friends you’d better become used to me speaking my mind.”

His eyes widened as if in disbelief. “You cannot be serious. Friends?”

“Why not? We both have a common goal and interest: Drew Payne.” She shifted from sitting opposite to the bench next to him. His large frame nearly took up the entire space, and once again she caught a whiff of his titillating cologne.
Such a man.
She laid her gloved hand on his coat sleeve and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “You are a man whose friendship I would welcome. I do not want us to be hammer and tongs every time we are in each other’s company. Especially not in front of the boy. He’s been through enough.”

Eliza waited. Would he shake off her hand and offer of friendship? With a brusque harrumph, he clutched her gloved hand in his and held it, then turned to gaze out the window. They sat together for a while as the heat from his touch traveled through her entire body, warming her more than any heated brick at her feet could.

“Yes. For the boy,” he murmured.

Oh, well done, Tremain.
Eliza smiled. She managed to slip past the first hurdle in her mission to reach his heart. The steep, uphill climb would be difficult, but to her, this man was worth the effort.
Oh so worth it.

The carriage pulled up in front of Hawkestone Estate and it was only then Tremain reluctantly let go of Eliza’s hand. In truth, her offer of friendship nearly did him in. But as the door opened to the carriage and he assisted Eliza in descending, his focus turned to Drew. The young lad did need the both of them and subjecting Drew to a tense environment was not what any of them needed.

Once shown into the main parlor, a maid assisted them with their coats. As she departed, Jon Dibley entered the room. “Mr. Dibley, may I introduce Miss Eliza Winston?” Tremain asked. Jon gave him a side glance with a raised eyebrow and Tremain knew exactly what it meant, for he’d neglected to inform Jon that Eliza was young and extremely attractive. When Tremain observed the warm smile Eliza gave Jon, a stab of jealousy slid beneath his ribs. Jon was not an ugly man.
Should I be worried? Hell, where did that come from?

Jon held out his hand. “It is wonderful to meet you, Miss Winston. You will be a welcome addition to this house. I am Jon Dibley, steward and land manager of the Hawkestone Estate.”

“Thank you.” She gave Jon another warm smile, which caused the stab of jealousy to slide further in.

“Master Andrew Payne, who prefers to be called Drew, is on his way directly. From what I have observed in the past couple of days since he arrived, he is a well behaved lad, though perhaps a little too quiet, but under the circumstances…” The door opened and a maid escorted Drew into the room. “Ah, here he is.”

Drew glanced around the room and when his gaze fell upon Tremain, the boy’s face lit up. The child ran to him, hugging him tight around the waist. Without thinking, Tremain smoothed his hair, patting his head gently. “There now, come and meet your governess, Drew.”

The lad stepped back and lifted his head, then looked at her inquisitively. “This is Miss Eliza Winston, who will be your governess. Miss Winston, Master Drew Payne.”

Eliza’s smile was genuine; Tremain knew that much about her. She took two steps forward, then crouched down so she would be at Drew’s level. “I am very pleased to meet you. The vicar has told me many things about you. I’m nervous being in a new house and position, do you think you could escort me around and show me everything?” She held out her hand.

Drew stared at it for several minutes and then slipped his small hand into hers. “I know where everything is, Miss Winston.”

Eliza stood and let herself be led from the room. When they departed, Jon closed the parlor door. “A stunning looking woman. The shade of her hair…”

“Jon,” Tremain warned.

“Like chestnut fire. This is the wretched creature you pulled from a snow bank? My God, Trey. She’s beautiful and seemingly kind, as well. And do not stand there and tell me you are not interested. I know you far too well and saw the gleam in your eyes and the curve of a slight smile.”

“Leave off, Jon. I’ve no intention of involving myself with a woman, and certainly not one under my employ.”

Jon crossed his arms and smiled. “Ah, but she doesn’t know that. To her, you are the village vicar. A good catch. Watch yourself, my friend, lest you be caught in her net.”

Jon teased, as he often did throughout their life-long friendship, but his words held a large grain of truth. “I am in no condition to enter into a relationship with any woman, however much she appeals.”

“Ah. Appeals. I thought as much. Then why did you hire her and bring her to your home?”

A bloody good question.
“Because I did not want her to leave,” he answered, his voice soft. “I never could lie to you, Jon. Not in all these years. The sad fact is…I want her, like I have never wanted any woman before. And I’m in no shape emotionally to handle it.”

Jon laid a hand on his shoulder. “It’s time you healed, Trey. And you are taking steps to do so in your own way, with your duties as vicar. But there is no hard and fast rule saying you have to do it all alone. You have me. The boy adores you. And so does the governess, I’ll wager. Let us in, Trey. Bring us close. The healing process will be all the swifter for it.” Jon squeezed his shoulder before letting go. “And when you are ready, embrace your family and your title. Live your life and be happy, as you deserve.”

Tremain sighed. “I wish it were that simple. But I will reflect on what you said. Thank you.”

Jon stepped back and shrugged. “Well, a good kick in the arse would be as effective. Join me for dinner. The cook whipped up a scrumptious roast of beef. We will invite your pretty governess and her charge as well.”

Tremain nearly declined, but did he really want to go home to a bowl of cold stew?
Bring us close.
Not sure he could, but for the sake of their friendship, he could at least make an effort. “Very well, dinner. Then I must leave directly after.”