The Very Best of F & SF v1 (10 page)

Mar 28
Dr Strauss came to my room tonight to see why I dint come in like I
was suppose to. I told him I dont like to race with Algernon any more. He said
I dont have to for a while but I shud come in. He had a present for me only it
wasnt a present but just for lend. I thot it was a little television but it
wasnt. He said I got to turn it on when I go to sleep. I said your kidding why
shud I turn it on when Im going to sleep. Who ever herd of a thing like that.
But he said if I want to get smart I got to do what he says. I told him I dint
think I was going to get smart and he put his hand on my sholder and said
Charlie you dont know it yet but your getting smarter all the time. You wont
notice for a while. I chink he was just being nice to make me feel good because
I dont look any smarter.

Oh yes I almost
forgot. I asked him when I can go back to the class at Miss Kinnians school. He
said I wont go their. He said that soon Miss Kinnian will come to the hospitil
to start and teach me speshul. I was mad at her for not comming to see me when
I got the operashun but I like her so maybe we will be frends again.

Mar 29
That crazy TV kept me up all night. How can I sleep with something
yelling crazy things all night in my ears. And the nutty pictures. Wow. I dont
know what it says when Im up so how am I going to know when Im sleeping.

Dr Strauss says
its ok. He says my brains are lerning when I sleep and that will help me when
Miss Kinnian starts my lessons in the hospitl (only I found out it isnt a
hospitil its a labatory). I think its all crazy. If you can get smart when your
sleeping why do people go to school. That thing I dont think will work. I use
to watch the late show and the late late show on TV all the time and it never
made me smart. Maybe you have to sleep while you watch it.

PROGRESS REPORT 9—April 3

Dr Strauss
showed me how to keep the TV turned low so now I can sleep. I dont hear a
thing. And I still dont understand what it says. A few times I play it over in
the morning to find out what I lemed when I was sleeping and I dont think so.
Miss Kinnian says Maybe its another langwidge or something. But most times it
sounds american. It talks so fast faster then even Miss Gold who was my teacher
in 6 grade and I remember she talked so fast I coudnt understand her.

I told Dr
Strauss what good is it to get smart in my sleep. I want to be smart when Im
awake. He says its the same thing and I have two minds. Theres the
subconscious
and the
conscious
(thats how you
spell it). And one dont tell the other one what its doing. They dont even talk
to each other. Thats why I dream. And boy have I been having crazy dreams. Wow.
Ever since that night TV. The late late late late late show.

I forgot to ask
him if it was only me or if everybody had those two minds.

(I just looked
up the word in the dictionary Dr Strauss gave me. The word is
subconscious, adj. Of the nature of mental operations yet
not present in consciousness; as, subconscious conflict of desires.)
Theres more but I still don’t know what it means. This isnt a very good
dictionary for dumb people like me. Anyway the headache is from the party. My
frends from the factery Joe Carp and Frank Reilly invited me to go with them to
Muggsys Saloon for some drinks. I dont like to drink but they said we will have
lots of fun. I had a good time.

Joe Carp said I
shoud show the girls how I mop out the toilet in the factory and he got me a
mop. I showed them and everyone laffed when I told that Mr Donnegan said I was
the best janiter he ever had because I like my job and do it good and never
come late or miss a day except for my operashun.

I said Miss
Kinnian always said Charlie be proud of your job because you do it good.

Everybody laffed
and we had a good time and they gave me lots of drinks and Joe said Charlie is
a card when hes potted. I dont know what that means but everybody likes me and
we have fun. I cant wait to be smart like my best frends Joe Carp and Frank
Reilly.

I dont remember
how the party was over but I think I went out to buy a newspaper and coffe for
Joe and Frank and when I came back there was no one their. I looked for them all
over till late. Then I dont remember so good but I think I got sleepy or sick.
A nice cop brot me back home. Thats what my landlady Mrs Flynn says.

But I got a
headache and a big lump on my head and black and blue all over. I think maybe I
fell but Joe Carp says it was the cop they beat up drunks some times. I don’t
think so. Miss Kinnian says cops are to help people. Anyway I got a bad
headache and Im sick and hurt all over. I dont think I’ll drink anymore.

April
6
I beat Algernon! I dint even know I beat him
until Burt the tester told me. Then the second time I lost because I got so
exited I fell off the chair before I finished. But after that I beat him 8 more
times. I must be getting smart to beat a smart mouse like Algernon. But I dont
feel smarter.

I wanted to race
Algernon some more but Burt said thats enough for one day. They let me hold him
for a minit. Hes not so bad. Hes soft like a ball of cotton. He blinks and when
he opens his eyes their black and pink on the eges.

I said can I
feed him because I felt bad to beat him and I wanted to be nice and make
frends. Burt said no Algernon is a very specshul mouse with an operashun like
mine, and he was the first of all the animals to stay smart so long. He told me
Algernon is so smart that every day he has to solve a test to get his food. Its
a thing like a lock on a door that changes every time Algernon goes in to eat
so he has to lern something new to get his food. That made me sad because if he
coudnt lern he woud be hungry.

I dont think its
right to make you pass a test to eat. How woud Dr Nemur like it to have to pass
a test every time he wants to eat. I think I’ll be frends with Algernon.

April 9
Tonight after work Miss Kinnian was at the laboratory. She looked
like she was glad to see me but scared. I told her dont worry Miss Kinnian Im
not smart yet and she laffed. She said I have confidence in you Charlie the way
you struggled so hard to read and right better than all the others. At werst
you will have it for a littel wile and your doing somthing for sience.

We are reading a
very hard book. I never read such a hard book before. Its called
Robinson Crusoe
about a man
who gets merooned on a dessert Iland. Hes smart and figers out all kinds of
things so he can have a house and food and hes a good swimmer. Only I feel
sorry because hes all alone and has no frends. But I think their must be
somebody else on the iland because theres a picture with his funny umbrella
looking at footprints. I hope he gets a frend and not be lonly.

April
10
Miss Kinnian teaches me to spell better. She
says look at a word and close your eyes and say it over and over until you
remember. I have lots of truble with
through
that you say
threw
and
enough
and
tough
that you dont say
enew
and
tew.
You got to say
enuff
and
tuff.
Thats how I use to
write it before I started to get smart. Im confused but Miss Kinnian says
theres no reason in spelling.

Apr 14
Finished
Robinson Crusoe.
I want to find out more about what happens to him but Miss Kinnian
says thats all there is. Why

Apr 15
Miss Kinnian says Im lerning fast. She read some of the Progress
Reports and she looked at me kind of funny. She says Im a fine person and I’ll
show them all. I asked her why. She said never mind but I shoudnt feel bad if I
find out that everybody isnt nice like I think. She said for a person who god
gave
so little to you done more then a lot of people with brains they never even
used. I said all my frends are smart people but there good. They like me and
they never did anything that wasnt nice. Then she got something in her eye and
she had to run out to the ladys room.

Apr 16
Today, I lerned, the
comma
, this is a comma (,) a period, with a tail, Miss Kinnian, says its
importent, because, it makes writing, better, she said, sombeody, coud lose, a
lot of money, if a comma, isnt, in the, right place, I dont have, any money,
and I dont see, how a comma, keeps you, from losing it, But she says,
everybody, uses commas, so I’ll use, them too,

Apr 17
I used the comma wrong. Its punctuation. Miss Kinnian told me to
look up long words in the dictionary to lern to spell them. I said whats the
difference if you can read it anyway. She said its part of your education so
now on I’ll look up all the words Im not sure how to spell. It takes a long
time to write that way but I think Im remembering. I only have to look up once
and after that I get it right. Anyway thats how come I got the word
punctuation
right. (Its that
way in the dictionary). Miss Kinnian says a period is punctuation too, and
there are lots of other marks to lern. I told her I thot all the periods had to
have tails but she said no.

You got to mix
them up, she showed? me” how. to mix! them( up,.and now; I can! mix up all
kinds” of punctuation, in! my writing? There, are lots! of rules? to lern; but
Im getting them in my head.

One thing I?
like about, Dear Miss Kinnian: (thats the way it goes in a business letter if I
ever go into business) is she, always gives me’ a reason” when—I ask. She’s a
gen’ius! I wish! I cou’d be smart” like, her;

(Punctuation,
is; fun!)

April18
What a dope I am! I didn’t even understand what she was talking
about. I read the grammar book last night and it explanes the whole thing. Then
I saw it was the same way as Miss Kinnian was trying to tell me, but I didn’t
get it. I got up in the middle of the night, and the whole thing straightened
out in my mind.

Miss Kinnian
said that the
TV
working in
my
sleep helped out. She said I reached a plateau. Thats like the flat
top of a hill.

After I figgered
out how punctuation worked, I read over all my old Progress Reports from the
beginning. Boy, did I have crazy spelling and punctuation! I told Miss Kinnian
I ought to go over the pages and fix all the mistakes but she said, “No,
Charlie, Dr. Nemur wants them just as they are. That’s why he let you keep them
after they were photostated, to see your own progress. You’re coming along
fast, Charlie.”

That made me
feel good. After the lesson I went down and played with Algernon. We don’t race
anymore.

April
20
I feel sick inside. Not sick like for a
doctor, but inside my chest it feels empty like getting punched and a heartburn
at the same time.

I wasn’t going
to write about it, but I guess I got to, because it’s important. Today was the
first time I ever stayed home from work.

Last night Joe
Carp and Frank Reilly invited me to a party. There were lots of girls and some
men from the factory. I remembered how sick I got last time I drank too much,
so I told Joe I didn’t want anything to drink. He gave me a plain Coke instead.
It tasted funny, but I thought it was just a bad taste in my mouth.

We had a lot of
fun for a while. Joe said I should dance with Ellen and she would teach me the
steps. I fell a few times and I couldn’t understand why because no one else was
dancing besides Ellen and me. And all the time I was tripping because somebody’s
foot was always sticking out.

Then when I got
up I saw the look on Joe’s face and it gave me a funny feeling in my stomack. “He’s
a scream,” one of the girls said. Everybody was laughing.

Frank said, “I
ain’t laughed so much since we sent him off for the newspaper that night at
Muggsy’s and ditched him.”

“Look at him.
His face is red.”

“He’s blushing.
Charlie is blushing.”

“Hey, Ellen,
what’d you do to Charlie? I never saw him act like that before.”

I didn’t know
what to do or where to turn. Everyone was looking at me and laughing and I felt
naked. I wanted to hide myself. I ran out into the street and I threw up. Then
I walked home. It’s a funny thing I never knew that Joe and Frank and the
others liked to have me around all the time to make fun of me.

Now I know what
it means when they say “to pull a Charlie Gordon.”