The Vampire's Fake Fiancée (Nocturne Falls Book 5) (24 page)

She laughed bitterly. “Yes. There was talk of my becoming an instructor. And more talk of moving me into the Ragnarok Guard, the contingent of valkyries and berserkers who go into battle all over the world wherever assistance is needed, with intentions of grooming me for a commander position.”

He looked at her with this very impressive new information and saw her very clearly as the warrior she was. “So what happened?”

“One of the berserker commanders sent their best to meet me in a match. He was good. My equal, it was whispered to me. But Varren was a year older and immense. A mountain of a man even at seventeen.”

“I knew who he was, had seen him fight. I was thrilled to get a shot at him.” She flattened her hand on the mat and stared at the scar. “For several minutes, we tested each other. Then I went at him, ready to do some damage and make him know my name. We fought hard. I knocked him down. He was on his feet instantly and retaliated. That’s when he drew first blood, slicing me across the knuckles.”

She balled her hand into a fist. “It was like something broke inside me. My rage took over. The idea that someone had dared to draw my blood…”

She took a slow inhale. “They had to pull me off him. I almost killed him. Would have, I guess. The berserkers, they say they experience something like what I felt when they’re in battle. Blind fury. They welcome it. It’s what makes them invincible. But it made me feel like I’d lost myself.”

She sniffed and bent her head. “Like I was a monster.”

A small, dark spot appeared on the knee of her jeans and he realized she was crying. He took her hand. “Oh, Tessa. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine—”

“You shouldn’t have to. No one should. It was awful. I lost control and it almost cost Varren his life.” She looked up at him, eyes wet. “I never want to feel that way again.”

“Which is why you work so hard to control yourself.”

She nodded. “I might have been born a valkyrie and that’s not something I can change, but I don’t want that to define who I am.” She pulled her hand out of his. “Not with this…thing inside me.”

“But you didn’t lose control today.”

She got to her feet. “Because I work at it. I’m always working at it.”

He stood beside her. “I’m sorry I made you fence. That must have been uncomfortable for you.”

She shrugged. “You didn’t make me. I chose to participate.”

“Did you also choose to test Evangeline?”

She made a face. “You figured that out, did you?”

He nodded. “It was clear how much more skilled you are than she. Like watching a…kitten and a tiger. You scored twice against her so easily. Why didn’t you just take the third point and end it?”

She tipped her head back. “Because Evangeline wouldn’t have been satisfied with that. Would she?”

“No. Losing to you would have pushed her to do worse.”

“And I wanted to see what she’d do. And how you’d react.”

“You were testing me.” His brows lifted. “Did I pass?”

“I was hoping you’d stand up to her, and you did. And it was a better alternative to her losing to me, because then we’d be wondering what she’d try next.”

“She’ll still try something.” He grunted, “Which is why I’m calling this charade over.”

“Before it’s finished?”

“She
hurt
you.”

Tessa’s fingers coasted over the welt on her cheek. “In an hour or two, this will be gone. Don’t let this be the reason you don’t get closure. Evangeline needs to sign those papers so you can be free.”

“You really want me to let her stay? To keep up this game?”

“Until it’s truly done, yes.”

He let out a long sigh. “All right. But you tell me differently and I will personally escort her to the town limits.”

Tessa smiled. “I appreciate that.”

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Why don’t you rest for a bit? I would still very much like to take you out for the dinner I’ve promised you.”

She nodded. “Don’t worry. That’s still happening. It’ll be good for Evangeline to see us together. And a rest sounds nice. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”

He watched her go, thinking about all she’d told him and just how formidable an opponent Tessa could be. He’d never been so glad to have someone on his side. Nor had he ever underestimated anyone quite so much.

Tessa had only entered Sebastian’s bedroom when she realized she was no longer alone. She turned to find Evangeline in the doorway. A tiny ripple of fear passed through her. Was the woman going to try something now that Sebastian and Greaves were downstairs? Tessa decided if that’s what Evangeline had come for, she wasn’t going to find the same Tessa she’d just faced. “Can I help you? I came up here to rest, not continue sparring with you.”

Evangeline’s brows arched in surprise. “I’m not here to spar. I wanted to congratulate you.”

Hah
. Tessa crossed her arms. “On what?”

“On thoroughly captivating Sebastian.” She leaned against the door jamb. “I know you love him, but I wasn’t sure how he really felt about you until today. I honestly thought he’d be in love with me for the rest of my life. I was sort of counting on it when I came back here, but clearly I was wrong.”

Tessa didn’t know what to make of that. “Thank you. I suppose. Why were you counting on it?”

Evangeline sighed. “I thought we could be…us again, I guess. Life as a vampire was enormously fun at first. There’s a sense of freedom and possibility that you can’t imagine.”

“No, I suppose not.” Life as a librarian, valkyrie or not, was filled with schedules and events and work to be done.

Evangeline chuckled. “My life as a human was completely mapped out for me. As the daughter of a marquess I was expected to act a certain way, attend certain functions.” Her eyes arrowed into Tessa. “Marry a certain man. Any decisions not made by my father for me, my mother happily commanded. What I wore, what friends I kept, what parties I attended.”

She shook her head. “I suppose that sounds rather trivial to you, but it wasn’t. I lived my life in a gilded prison. Realizing I had freedom and power as a vampire was the most intoxicating cup I’d ever drunk from.”

For the first time, Tessa felt like she understood some of Evangeline’s actions. “I bet it was. What did you do first?”

“You mean after I broke Sebastian’s heart?” She sighed. “I went to Paris. I’d been there before, of course, but I’d had my mother and several chaperones. As a vampire, I finally experienced the real Paris. Oh, it’s a marvelous place when you have the sort of power and influence of our kind.”

“I can only imagine.”

A horrified look marred Evangeline’s beautiful face. “Do you mean you haven’t been? Has Sebastian never taken you? What on earth have you two been doing all this time?”

“Getting to know each other. Living our lives. We’ll travel after we’re married.” That seemed like a reasonable answer.

Evangeline made a rude noise. “Not if you don’t stay on him about it you won’t. He gets very stuck in his ways. That’s a good part of why I left him. Life with him was more of what I’d experienced with my father. Everything was a foregone conclusion. Which house we’d summer at, what parties we’d throw, who would be invited, what would be discussed…”

She waved a hand through the air. “Fancy dresses and parties might seem like fun, but even they lose their luster after a while. I wanted to do life on my own terms. For once. You must understand that. To live as you want, not the way it’s expected of you.”

Tessa nodded slowly. “I understand that very much. And I can see why you did what you did. Doesn’t mean I approve.” She didn’t. Especially not of the cheating part. But this wasn’t about what she thought right now. “Leaving your husband was a pretty drastic measure, but that was your decision to make.”

“Thank you for understanding. And not judging too much.”

“It’s not my place to tell you how to live your life. But you can’t expect me to keep silent about the parts that affect Sebastian, either.”

“I’d expect nothing less from you. After all, you love him. It’s almost mandatory that you speak up.” Evangeline’s smile took on a feline quality. “So what am I doing that you’d like to comment on?”

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Tessa narrowed her eyes. “Sign the papers and let him get on with his life. You’ve seen us together enough to make your decision. Why wait out the week?”

Evangeline went quiet for a moment, making Tessa think she’d gotten through. “Did you speak to him about his going out during daylight hours? That’s still a concern of mine.”

“I did. And I assure you, he’s protected.” The woman was certainly fixated on that. “Anything else? If not, I’d like to rest before my fiancé takes me out for dinner.”

Evangeline pursed her lips as if tasting that news and finding it sour.

Then Duncan came skittering out of the closet at full speed, ricocheting off Evangeline’s boot and shooting back across the room and up the cat tree.

Evangeline shrieked. “What is that creature?”

Tessa bit her lip to keep from laughing. “It’s my cat, Duncan.”

“A cat? In this house?” Evangeline wrapped her arms around her torso protectively and grimaced. “Are you part witch? How did you get Sebastian to agree to that?”

Tessa lifted one shoulder. “I guess he loves me.”

Evangeline’s lip curled as she stared at Duncan with the same look most people reserved for disease-carrying vermin. “If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is.”

Sebastian retreated to his office, still too angry at Evangeline to deal with her at the moment. Going over some numbers would calm him down and help him suss out what the proper next step was.

But his mind kept going back to Tessa and her story. Reconciling her past with who she was now wasn’t that hard. He’d seen glimpses of the warrior within her the first night they’d been out together. No woman turned around and walked away from a man who was making her unhappy without having some sort of backbone.

He’d just never guessed Tessa’s was made of steel and grit and Norse magic.

Knowing what he did about her now only made him like her more. She’d chosen a very deliberate path for herself. One that wasn’t easy. He admired that kind of determination. It spoke to her strength of character and fortitude. She’d decided not to be defined by the parameters of her kind.

He frowned. But then so had Evangeline when she’d turned her back on being his wife to pursue the vampire life of instant gratification and endless pleasure she thought existed beyond the walls of their manor house.

It wasn’t the same, though. Not at all. He couldn’t imagine Tessa shirking responsibility in favor of her own selfish desires. Her agreeing to be his fake fiancée was proof of that.

No, Tessa was the kind of woman he should have married. Not a narcissistic status-seeker, but a woman who understood duty and responsibility and sacrifice.

Bloody hell. That was the life he lived now and he was miserable. What kind of life was that for anyone?

Tessa deserved so much more than that. She deserved rich experiences and happiness and to be loved by a man who understood how amazing she was.

He swallowed. He knew very well how amazing she was. But he didn’t dare let himself love her. He wasn’t what she deserved. Especially after he let Evangeline hit her with the foil. How unfair that the woman he’d spent his adult life protecting had been the cause of his failure to protect Tessa.