The UN Series Complete Box Set (58 page)

I stand up, grab my phone off of my nightstand, and throw it in my purse. “I’ll be home late.” Walking over to him, I find he is still standing in the exact same position. For a second it looks like he might have fallen asleep there.

He opens his eyes and uncrosses his arms. He pushes away from the door and stands in the middle of the doorway.

I walk right up to him and wrap my arms around his stomach, resting my head on his chest. He smells so good, I would be happy spending the entire night smelling him. My smile brightens knowing that I’m going to go to work smelling like him.

He wraps his arms around my shoulders and kisses the top of my hair.

“You could call in sick.” He lays his chin on my head.

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?’

“Because if I call in sick, they will call someone else in to cover my shift and that’s not fair to them.” He squeezes me tighter for a second then I feel his chest rise and fall with a deep breath.

“Okay. Please be careful driving home in the morning.” He unwinds his arms and pushes me back a little so he can look into my eyes. “I hate you working nights. If you won’t quit, will you at least change back to days?”

I had worked days for a couple of weeks after Jax and I broke up, when I didn’t want to see a lot of people. I had then switched back to nights, liking that it was busier and kept my mind occupied. Plus, by then I was kind of seeing Slade, and I no longer cared what people thought about my break up with Jax.

“I only like working with Holly and she prefers to work nights.” That was kind of a lie, and with the way his brows scrunched, I think he knew that. I don’t
want
to work days.

He nods his head and cups my cheek in his hand. His other hand slides around my back and pulls me closer to him. “I hope you have a great night.” He leans his head down and gives me a soft, sweet kiss. I moan in frustration as he pulls away, wanting more. “I love you.” His baby blue eyes search my face.

“I love you, baby.” I pull away from him and walk out of the bedroom.

*****

I park Nadia in the back lot of the bar and get out. I still drive her everywhere. I have not bought a new car yet, afraid Slade will go postal on me, but I still don’t want to drive the Tahoe. Some days I feel great, as if nothing bad has happened, and then I have days I feel as if I’m barely hanging on. Twice this week I have had what felt like panic attacks in our bathroom while Slade was at work. I couldn’t breathe and felt like my chest was going to explode. I calmed myself down, eventually, and have not mentioned them to anyone. The last thing I need is to be sent to a doctor and placed on medication.

Not going to happen!

I walk in through the back door and go right behind the bar. It’s six and not all that busy yet.

“Hey, Sam.” I look over to see Becky as she walks behind the bar.

“Hey.” I pull my phone out of my purse and shove it in my back pocket.

“Is Holly here yet?” I ask, placing my bar key in my other back pocket.

“Yes. She’s refilling the cooler.” She grabs her stuff and tells me bye. I am her replacement for the evening shift.

It surprised me when I didn’t see Holly’s car outside, though Micah sometimes drops her off and picks her up on the weekends.

“Hey, Holls.” I walk into the cooler and see her folding up some empty beer boxes.

She stands, straightening up.

“Ready for a great night?” She laughs as she rolls her eyes.

“Absolutely.” I don’t mind spending my Saturday nights at work. Just being here and away from the constant questions from Slade makes me happy. Holly doesn’t ask questions. She just makes me smile.

I follow her out of the cooler carrying a box of Corona. We walk behind the bar and I set down the box, bending over to place them into the bin.

“Sam, you have a customer. Do you want me to wait on him?” Holly asks as I fold up the now empty box.

“No, I’ll go.” I throw the box in a pile on the floor and dust my hands off. I look over the bar and see the back of a man sitting at a table. I walk out from the behind the bar and head over to him. He has a tight, black short-sleeve shirt on. The fabric pulls against his back and shoulders. The guy looks like a UFC fighter from behind. As I get closer, I notice that both arms have tattoos covering them. They look to be black ink of some tribal work.

“Welcome to Larry’s. What can I get you?” I greet as I come up beside him.

He turns his head to look at me and I freeze. Tate sits before me with a small smile on his face. “Sam,” he says in a deep voice.

There is no way he is here. This can’t be possible. I turn around and head to the bathroom. I wish I would have listened to Slade and just called in sick.

I burst into the bathroom and take a few deep breaths, trying not to have another panic attack.

Why can’t people just leave me alone? Is there nowhere that I can go to be alone? To have some peace and try to get over what happened? I’ll never be able to move on with my life if I can’t forget it.

“Sam?” Holly urges as she walks in.

“I just need a minute, Holly.” I nod, looking at her in the mirror. She is the only one who seems to treat me normal. I don’t want her thinking that I can’t handle seeing Tate out there.

She comes to stand next to me as her brown eyes search my face. “He wants to talk to you,” she says quietly. “I told him he needed to quit bothering you.” She takes a deep breath. “But he says he just wants to talk to you. He wants a chance to explain.”

I push away from the counter and turn my body to face her, taking another deep breath. “And you think I should let him explain?”

“I know you’re trying to move on. I know that Slade and Courtney hound you about how you feel, constantly. You’re trying to live your life.” She shrugs. “Maybe this will help move you in the right direction. Instead of running from it, maybe you should just give him the chance to explain. I’m not saying become his friend or forgive him, but maybe he can help get you a better understanding of what your mother did and why.” She turns around and walks out, leaving me in the bathroom.

Maybe she is right. I still wonder why my mom did what she did. My mom and I had a close relationship up until a few months before my dad died. She told me and Slade that was about the time she had found out she had breast cancer. That was when she changed because she didn’t want me to postpone college to stay home with her.

I take in one last deep breath, feeling better. I’m an adult. The one chance I had for my mother to explain to me what happened, I acted immature and ran out of the house. I need to let Tate explain because I still don’t understand. I walk out of the bathroom and head straight for Tate’s table. I sit down next to him as he takes a drink of water, which Holly must have gotten for him.

“What do you have to tell me?” I question, looking into his eyes.

His eyes lift from his bottle of water to me. “I don’t want to tell you here. I just came here to get your attention.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet. He produces a card and hands it to me. It’s just like the card he gave me at my mom’s house. “I’m guessing you threw the other one away.”

I nod, taking it from his hand. “Come by tomorrow.” He looks up at me, waiting for an answer.

I give him another nod, not knowing if I’m comfortable with that idea. He stands up from the table, grabs his jacket from the chair next to him, and walks out the front door.

I grab his empty water bottle, throwing it in the trash as I walk behind the bar.

I look down at the card. Turning it over, I see he wrote his home address on the back of it. It is in St. Charles, which is only a twenty-minute drive from here. I have never been there but I have heard Josh talking about it before.

Should I go to his house? Should I tell Slade? Maybe he should go with me, but what if what he has to say breaks me all over again? Do I want Slade to see me that way again? I already feel like I can’t breathe around him. Like I can’t tell him how I truly feel because he just won’t believe me.

Making up my mind, I tuck the card in my back pocket. I turn around and Holly is watching me. I swallow, trying to think of what to say to her. I know she had to have read the card, I hadn’t realized she was so close by. I need to start paying more attention to the people around me. I should have waited and read it in the bathroom.

Shit!

She smiles at me, her brown eyes soft. “I know I’m not the best at keeping secrets, but I would never, ever, tell anyone something as important as this.” Her gaze darts to my pockets. “Do whatever you need to get closure, Sam,” she says as she turns and walks off.

I let out a breath. I could not ask for a better friend than Holly.

Before I know it, the place is packed and I’m running back and forth to the bar for drinks. But none of that matters. All I can focus on is Tate and my mother. What is so important that he couldn’t tell me at Larry’s? What could be worse than the fact that she hid from me because she had cancer? Did she really feel that I was too weak to hear the truth? Well technically, she knew I wasn’t weak. She knew I would have given up everything for her.

Holly and I close up the bar and I get home around three. I crawl in bed next to Slade and cuddle up to him. My body is exhausted. I just feel like I have no energy, like I’m running on fumes. I’ve had trouble sleeping ever since we drove back from Tulsa and I think it’s starting to catch up to me. I let out a long breath and try to close my eyes, but all I see is my mother. And it’s the bad memories that come to mind, of tears running down her face as I stood screaming in the middle of her living room. It’s the same nightmare, playing in my mind every night. I hope that my meeting with Tate tomorrow can give me something else to dream about.

*****

I wake up to the sound of the shower coming on. I look over to my phone to see that it is eight in the morning. I lay there for a few minutes because, once again, I didn’t get much sleep last night. It was weird actually. I went to bed thinking about my mother, but all I remember is dreaming about Slade. I had a dream about Slade finding out I went to Tate’s without him knowing, and then he left me. I can’t even imagine my life without Slade in it. I need to tell him. He doesn’t deserve for me to go behind his back. I sit up when I hear the bathroom door open.

“I’m sorry, Angel, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he says, standing at the end of the bed with a towel wrapped low around his hips. My eyes roam over his sculpted abs and hard muscular chest. His body glistens with the water that his towel missed. I stare at his star tattoo for a few seconds and I sigh. I wish he wanted me as much as I want him. I would feel better if I knew why he was staying at arms’ length. “I tried to be quiet.”

“You didn’t wake me.”

He walks over and sits down on the bed beside me. He reaches up and runs his hand through my tangled hair.

I take in a deep breath before I fill him in on my plans for the day. “Slade, I have something I have to do today.”

“Just stay home today and relax. Lay in bed and try to get some sleep,” he says softly.

“You want me to lay in bed all day?” I ask him, dumfounded.

“You need your rest. You’re not getting any, Angel.”

Crap. I hope I didn’t keep him up last night as well. I push myself toward him and run my palms over his chest. “Why are you getting ready so early on a Sunday?”

“I have some business I need to take care of.” He cups my face in his hand.

“Stay with me?” Can’t he see how much I need him?

He shakes his head, pulling my hands off of him. “I can’t, Angel. I have to go to the office to get some files that I had forgot yesterday, then I have to go over to my parents’ to discuss a case with my father.”

I take in a deep breath, ready to get this over with. “Slade, I need to go talk to—”

“You don’t need to do anything,” he says slowly as if speaking to a child, eyes searching mine. “You don’t have to make any decisions about your mom’s house or your dad’s house right now.”

What would make him think that’s what I need to take care of today? I’m going to put that off as long as I can. “But that’s not—”

He places his finger over my lips. “Angel, I keep telling you not to worry about it. When you’re ready to deal with that, we will talk about it.” He leans down and kisses me softly on the forehead before he goes to get dressed.

I lie back down as I feel the tears threatening my eyes. I don’t know what to do. He obviously does not want to hear about my plans for the day. So, once more, I will just keep my mouth shut, keep everything inside.

Slade walks out of the closet, now dressed in a pair of jeans and a clean white t-shirt. I close my eyes, thinking about how we are drifting apart. I know a relationship is not supposed to be based solely on sex, but we aren’t having it at all and that’s a problem for me, especially since I’m living with the biggest horn dog in town.

“I love you,” he says, getting my attention.

“I love you too.” I lean up and kiss him before he heads to work.

I finally get out of bed and don’t waste a second getting ready. I throw on a pair of white jean shorts with a gray t-shirt and a pair of white Nike Shox. I grab the keys to Nadia and make my way toward St. Charles.