The Truth of Yesterday (27 page)

     “I didn't know him that well. I know
Razi
thought a lot of him.
Razi
doesn't have many guy friends. I think he feels threatened by them, like he sees them as competition. He didn't feel that way about Paul.” He fell silent and allowed him a minute to think. “He was always really nice to me,” he continued. “He was all concerned about me, always asking how I was doing and telling me if I ever needed any place to go I could stay with him. And it wasn't in a creepy sort of way, you know? It wasn't like he was hitting on me. It was like he genuinely cared. I think him and
Razi
might have even fought about me.” He stopped as if he'd said more than he'd intended.

     That caught my attention. “Fought about what?”

     “Um...” I could tell he was searching for something to tell me, probably a lie. I decided to head him off.

     “How do you know
Razi
? Is he your boyfriend?”

     “I guess you could say that.”

     “What would you say?”

     He shrugged. “
Razi
took me in when I didn't have anywhere else to go. I was living on the street,
sick,
hungry...He took me to the doctor, fed me and let me stay here.”

     “He sounds like a saint.”

     Tad made a face.
“Not exactly.
In exchange, he gets sex whenever he wants it.”

     I raised an eyebrow. “You ok with that arrangement?”

     “It's better than the streets. And let me tell you,
Razi
knows what he's doing. So I guess it's not all that bad.”

     “Are you gay?”

     He seemed surprised by the question. “What?”

     “Are you even gay?”

     
“Yeah.”
I could tell he was still so surprised by the blunt question that he'd answered truthfully.

     “How'd you end up on the street?”

     He looked away. “Does that matter?”

     
“Maybe.
You never know what will matter.”

     I didn't think he was going to answer at first, but then he turned back to face me and began to talk in low voice. Once he started, it was like a dam had burst and the words just kept flowing out of him until he'd spilled the whole story. “I grew up in this little dinky town in
Virginia
. My mom died when I was born so it was always just my dad and me. I think in some ways he always blamed me for her death; we weren't very close. I've known I was gay for a while now, probably since I was 12 or 13. I used to fool around with my best friend whenever he spent the night at my house or I stayed with him. I don't know if he was gay too or if he just liked to fool around; we never really talked about it. That all stopped when we got a little older, but I still liked guys. I met a guy online; he was a little older than I was and lived here in DC. We started dating but I was keeping it all a secret. He would drive to see me while my dad was at work or we'd meet somewhere and spend some time together when my dad thought I was with friends. Then one night my dad came home from work early, I don't even know why, and he caught us...well, you know. It was bad. I thought he was going to kill us. My
boyfriend,
and I use the term loosely, bolted so fast I barely even saw him go. He left me to face my dad alone and I never saw him again. My dad beat the shit out of me. He never touched me again after that night, but I could tell he hated me. He hardly ever spoke to me and it was horrible living there. Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore. I left. I stayed a few nights with this girl I was friends with, but her parents said I couldn't stay. I didn't know where else to go, but I knew the guy I had been dating lived here so I hitch-hiked to the city. It was stupid. I didn't even know where to look for him once I was here. I've never been so scared in my life. Every night I thought I was going to be killed and I was half-hoping I would be. And then one night, I was begging for money outside a restaurant over on the Circle, you know,

     “He just took you in?”

     
“Yeah.
Just like that. For a few days I kept thinking I'd wake up and it would all just be a dream, but then the payments started and I knew it wasn't.”

     “Did he hurt you?”

     Tad blushed. “Not so that I minded.”

     “Did you feel forced?”

     He shrugged one shoulder. “I knew it was what I had to do if I wanted to stay here. He never said so in so many words but I knew. And it's not just sex you know. I also clean the
apartment
, wash the dishes if there are any, do the laundry, make appointments and some other stuff.”

     “Did
Razi
ever try to contact your father?”

     “He never even asked me my story.”

     “What about Paul?”

     He seemed suddenly wary. “What about him?”

     “Did he ask you for your story?”

     He seemed to be trying to decide whether or not to trust me. He made up his mind and nodded. “He's the only other person besides you that I've even told. I don't even know why I told you.”

     “Is that what Paul and
Razi
fought about?”

     He shrugged again.
“Maybe.
I don't really know.”

     Obviously, that was as much as I was going to get out of him at the moment. If Paul was the stand-up guy everyone kept telling me he was, then he had probably disapproved of
Razi
payment arrangement. He may have even wanted to contact Tad's father. I doubt
Razi
would have wanted to give up his personal houseboy.

     “How old are you again? 15?”

     He nodded.

     “And how old is
Razi
?”

     His eyes snapped to mine and grew round with fear. “You can't turn him in. Please! You can't do that. I know it's not great, but I'm fine.
Really.
It's better than living on the street and I don't want to go back to my dad. I know that's what they would do. I can't go back.”

     “Maybe they'd put you in foster care,” I said doubtfully.

     He sat up straight, his back rigid. “Like that would be so much better. Look, I'm almost 16. That's the age of consent, right? So in just a few more months, it won't even be illegal technically.”

     The panic in his voice was wearing me down quickly. I hated to hear him sounding like a terrified little kid.

     “Is Young even your real last name?”

     His startled look gave me all the answer I needed, but he answered anyway. “What difference does it make? There's no way I'm telling you now. You'd just go to my dad or turn me in. I swear, if I have to go back I'll run away again, and maybe this time there won't be any
Razi
to take me in. Or...or...I'll kill myself.”

     
“Tad!”
I interrupted before he could go into full-scale hysterics. “I won't turn him in, I promise. At least not until I know what's going on. I have to admit I'm not really comfortable with the whole situation though.”

     “It's not really any of your business,” he said stiffly.

     “I'm sorry,” I said quickly. I'd done a great job of ruining any sense of rapport we'd been building. I tried to reverse the damage. “You know, my dad beat me up when he found out I was gay too, and then he threw me out of the house.”

     Tad relaxed the slightest bit and I could see the curiosity in his eyes. “Where'd you go?”

     “I was lucky; I had someone to take me in. He was my friend's dad and he's gay too.”

     
“Your friend or your friend's dad.”

     
“Both actually.”

     “Oh wow. That's so cool. I wish I'd had somebody like that. It must be really cool living with your friend and all.”

     “Actually, my friend was murdered. That's kind of why I got into this sort of thing.”

     “Oh. I'm really sorry.”

     It was my turn to shrug. “It's been a couple years now. It doesn't hurt quite as much as it used to.”

     “What about your mom?”

     “She left my dad not too long after that. She moved away but let me stay with Adam, that's my friend's dad that took me in.”

     “You still live with him?”

     I nodded. He'd almost relaxed completely now, curling himself back into his feline pose. I was about to ask another question when a loud knock came at the door. Tad apparently was not only like a cat in his movements, but also as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs as the old saying goes. At the sound of the knock, he almost leaped right off the couch.

     
“Tad?
You in there?” a heavily accented voice called from the hallway. “Let me in.”

     “Shit,” Tad hissed, giving me a startled glance. “I thought you'd be gone before he got home.”

     “Will he be mad that I'm here? After all, I did come to talk to him.”

     “I don't know,” Tad said looking towards the door as another pounding knock sounded.

     “Just go let him in,” I said. “I won't tell him anything we talked about.” The boy cast me a grateful look and headed uncertainly towards the door. In the best case scenario, it was time for the second interview of my new case. In the worst,
Chris
and I would be testing out our emergency plan very soon.

Chapter 12