The Truth About Air & Water (Truth in Lies #2) (30 page)

I sigh. “But the doctors say that—”

“
Forget
what the doctors say, Linc. No pun intended.” She smiles a little and then gets this sobering look as she looks first at Brad and then me. “Let Brad help you. He’s amazing. Look what he’s done for me. He found this skeptical, promiscuous girl, who slept with half the guys in Manhattan, and made me believe in love again. Look how happy I am.”

She smiles wide and then leans over and kisses Brad. It makes me smile a little and feel downright envious because I can tell she is genuinely happy, and it’s almost painful to watch the two of them. “Get a room, you two.”

Kimberley sighs and waves her hand around. “You know I wouldn’t give you false hope if I didn’t believe Brad can help you find your way back. To baseball. To Tally if that’s what you want.”

“I just want to remember all of it. I just want to be able to remember
her
.”

“I know. Brad can help you do that if anyone can.”

“I’ll give it my best effort, Linc. I’m pretty good at this stuff,” Brad says.

“Do you think I should send her some flowers or something? I feel like I need to do something.”

“No-contact means no contact,” Kimberley says looking uneasy. “Give it some time. Let’s see how the next couple of weeks go and see where things are.” She looks over at Brad. “So how did I do?”

“You did great,” Brad says with an easy smile.

Kimberley grins at him, while I manage to grab the check before either one of them can. I go up to the counter and pay the bill. I smile at the waitress because, for some reason, I’m weirdly cheered at the fact that I at least now know how
Miss Cloves and Vanilla
fits into my life, and she has my ring and maybe Brad can actually help me get my memory back. The ring might be the only connection between us in the next six months, and I have to hope it’s enough until I figure out what I’m going to do if my memory returns. Or if it doesn’t, what then?

The facts are these: I have a kid, a former fiancée. Miss Cloves and Vanilla loved me at one point. Could she love me again?

Kimberley is already out the door and heading towards the car while talking to someone on her cell phone.

Brad watches her walk out. He smiles and waves at her and then turns to me. “Send
Miss Cloves and Vanilla
some flowers. She’s not going to initiate a court order over that, now is she?”

“No, probably not. Hey, thanks.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing -TALLY

It’s the last day of January, and my baby turns four today. She wanted the Disney
Frozen
theme, and we’ve gone all out. Elliott is dressed as Olaf and Cara plays Elsa trying to turn anything and everyone to ice with the little wand I gave her as soon as she woke up.

Sam and Charlie worked all morning on the backyard stringing shimmery white and blue streamers along the gutters that fan out across the yard to a large party tent set up in the middle of the yard. There are white, blue, and pink balloons and matching streamers everywhere.

With a little help from the San Francisco Ballet, we’ve managed to transform the party tent into a winter enchanted ice castle using the props from the ballet for
Swan Lake
. Mikhail Rostov finally comes through and proves he’s human.

Now, twelve children from Cara’s preschool merrily dance through
Elsa’s ice castle
, elated with our decoration efforts even if it’s a little chilly for an outdoor birthday party in the middle of winter.

The music from the movie blasts all around and the kids sing the words to every song. Two spires out of four and half of a castle are all that is left of the cake that I actually made from scratch. “You baked and decorated a cake. Not just any cake, but a
castle cake.
Oh my God. See? Miracles happen all the time,” Marla said when she first arrived early this morning to help me.

The party tables are strewn with empty cups and plates of half-eaten cake and melting cotton candy ice cream, which is colored blue that no one can explain. Marla and I start to gather up the kids’ discarded plates while Sam and Charlie interact with some of the parents who linger longer even as the afternoon party begins to wind down by fetching drinks for people and keeping them generally entertained along with my parents’ help.

“Does he have to look so much like Chris Hemsworth?” Marla asks as soon as she sees Sam disappear up the back steps and into my house. “
Thor’s
a bit of a distraction.”

“Careful now, Mrs. Masterson. He’s Sam Wilde, bartender extraordinaire, and a good friend, but that is all there is to it.”

She gets that knowing look. “Yeah, it’s obvious you haven’t slept with him yet. The PG-13 PDA is a dead giveaway, but it’s been
weeks
, Tally. What
is
your problem? Seriously, you need to do him, or I will.”

I stare at the back door Sam just disappeared through for an answer to that and decide to sidestep the issue entirely. “Funny. Such brave talk from a girl who hasn’t been with anyone but Charlie Masterson, for what, five years running? More than that, actually, now that I do the math. Do tell, Marla. Why don’t
you
sleep with Sam?” I mock and then laugh at her twisted-up face. I don’t think she expected me to call her on it quite so openly.

“In a proverbial heartbeat I would,” she says grinning wide. “Oh yes indeed. If I wasn’t married,” she adds with a little sigh.

“Well, give me some time I was almost married too, remember?”

I get a little mired down, gripped by these thoughts of Linc that have been troubling me since I woke up this morning.
Today of all days, I regret issuing the no-contact thing ultimatum. I wish he would remember me. I actually wish he was here.

Guilt for my part in all of this begins to rain down on me. I avoid Marla’s laser-like gaze because she can still detect what I’m feeling before I do. “Damn it, Marla. I wasn’t going to think of him today. See what you’ve done. Why did you have to bring
him
up?” I glare at her.

“Yeah, like
that
wasn’t going to happen since we’re celebrating the birth of his child and yours today. Truly, it’s an impossible wish and a little hard to avoid even for you.” She hesitates and shakes her head a little. “But since you brought him up…he sent a present for Cara.” I’m too surprised to respond. “He brought it to me, so I could see it first and ensure it was okay. It’s this huge pink unicorn probably as big as Cara.” She laughs and grins over at me. “It’s perfect, really. I wrapped it, which was no small feat. It’s in the car. He wanted me to ask you first—to see if it was okay if she opened it—and was told it was from him,” she adds, wincing, obviously unsure as to how I would react.

“From him,” I snort.

Cool Tally snorts. Great. Impressive.

“He’s trying, Tally. He’s working with Kimberley’s husband, the psychiatrist? He’s trying to get his memory back. He’s here in San Fran, actually, and wanted to know if he could….”

“Don’t.
” It takes a huge effort to keep it together, but I manage even as I angrily brush tears away with my coat sleeve. I avoid looking at Marla altogether for a few minutes.
And he’s here in San Fran. No wonder I feel him all around me today.

My throat closes up, and I wonder for the millionth time when I’m actually going to let him go. “No.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but you seem to be doing all right. You seem happy.
You baked a cake
. There’s
Sam
. You’re moving on,” she says gently. “Cara’s so happy, but maybe she needs to see him, deserves to see him and—”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Maybe it should be.”

“I said,
don't
. I don’t want to talk about this. Look, my heart was broken in October, okay? But then, he managed to shatter it all over again five weeks ago.
No.
He can’t storm into my life whenever he feels like it.”

I’ve caught the attention of a few of the preschool parents. I stalk away from her toward the side of the house. Of course, she follows me.

“Look, I get it,” she says.

“No, you don’t. Imagine Charlie is screwing around with someone else. How do you feel?” I whip my hand through the air. “Don’t tell me you know how I feel. You don’t know how I feel. I had everything. We had everything. Now, it’s gone. I spend every morning waking up and spending a few seconds just reminding myself how to breathe again. How to
breathe
, Marla.”

“So it’s not about Cara’s birthday and seeing her daddy. It’s about
you
. I’m just pointing that out because that is my job as your bestie and confidante.”

“You
suck
. You know that?”

“I have been told by a very reliable source, I happen to be married to, I am good at that too.”

The idea of her on her knees before Charlie does the trick. I laugh. I run my hands through the ends of my hair and look over at Marla. “You know this makes it extremely complicated if he comes over here. Sam. Cara. Me. My parents.
Those
parents.” I gesture toward the dwindling birthday crowd.

“They’ll be gone soon. It’s already past the two-hour limit. I’ll tell Charlie to tell him he’s on clean-up duty. Just let him give her the present in-person. It’s a good idea. It’s a start, and you know it.”

“I don’t know. She’s doing better with the other kids at preschool now.
Obviously.
She’s not acting out anymore and now they almost have this secret sign language thing worked out with her. She’s better, Marla. I don’t want to undo all of that. I don’t know.” I shrug feeling helpless. Then without thinking say, “but the teacher’s been asking me about Linc and when he’s coming home. Cara’s been drawing pictures of all three of us. She’s started drawing Sam as some kind of stick figure. He’s really small in one corner of the picture and then she always has me in a hot pink tutu and then she’s been drawing Linc. She always puts him right in the middle next to me in all of her pictures as some kind of big superhero with a flowing cape, usually one she’s colored hot pink as well.”

“Always hard to resist a superhero in a hot pink cape,” Marla says with a little knowing smile.

“Always hard to resist a superhero. Maybe that’s my whole damn problem in life. The
superhero
.” I frown trying to work this all out in my head.

“Maybe you just need to get over the memory thing and start over.”

“Maybe you forgot about LA just a little over a month ago,” I automatically unleash my never-ending fury on that on Marla. Within seconds, anger manages to burn all the way through me as I think of him with that blonde.

“He has more to say about that, but he told me he would only say it to you,” Marla—the anointed foreign affairs’ diplomat—says softy.

“Geez! How often have you been talking to him? And I thought we had established you were on
my side
?”

“I
am
on your side. I’m on both of your sides. I’m on the side of Linc and Tally and still holding out hope to be able to stand up for the two of you at your wedding someday. I’m here to serve.”

“
Someday
? Don’t hold your breath on that one. I haven’t been,” I lie. “And Sam? What do I do about Sam? Where does that leave him? With me?”

“I think you’ve already asked and answered that question for yourself. The Tally Landon I know would have jumped his bones by now. The fact that you haven’t,” she says with her special brand of wizardry, “tells me everything I need to know. You still love Linc. Of course, you do.” I follow her gaze as she watches Cara and Elliott play with the other kids on the swing set. “He’ll always be a part of your life because of Cara. And, Tally?” She glances sideways at me. “It’s not just the idea of him or the memory of him that you loved; it’s the guy himself, and he’s still
here.
” She bestows me with a generous smile. “Sam’s been great at holding your hand, but Linc still holds your heart and everybody who knows you and loves you sees that.”