The Truth (4 page)

Breathless, she sighed with pleasure and wiggled herself into the crook of his arm, happier than she could have imagined. “I think Ryan had a great day.”

“I think you’re right.” He spoke softly, his voice soothing her. “There’s something special about seeing the world through the eyes of a four-year-old. But I think I had the most fun.”

Grayson was talking about the day, his voice like a lullaby in her ear. She tried to concentrate on his words, but her eyelids were heavy and she struggled to keep them open. He mentioned the woman who’d thought Ryan was his son, and asked her a question she didn’t hear as she drifted off to sleep.

“When’s Grayson coming?” Ryan threw himself onto her bed. “Mom, when? I’ve been waiting, but he’s not here. When’s he gonna be here? All our stars are out!”

She sat on the edge of the bed beside him, and frowned when she noticed the anticipation in his eyes. “Ryan, you’re going to spend the evening with Grandma. Tonight, Mom is going out with Grayson alone.”

“Why can’t I go? Am I in trouble?” His eyes welled with tears as he sat beside her, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed.

“No, sweetie, you’re not in trouble.” Placing her fingers beneath his chin, she tilted his face to hers. “It’s just that sometimes grown-ups need to spend time alone, to talk about adult stuff.”

“I can plug my ears.” He stuck out his bottom lip, his eyes pleading with her.

“There will be other times, but tonight, Mom needs some time with Grayson, alone.”

“That’s mean,” he shouted, rushing from the room.

His bedroom door slammed. “Ryan!” she shouted, heading to his room.

The doorbell interrupted the scene, and Lexie sighed as she walked to answer the door. She smiled at her mother as she breezed in, asking for her grandson.

“He’s in his room, throwing a tantrum.” She sighed. “He doesn’t understand why he can’t go with us tonight.”

“He has sure gotten attached quickly,” Betty said, hanging her purse over the back of the stool in the kitchen. “Does that worry you?”

“It does.” She sat down in the stool and looked at her mother. “This is all happening so fast. I never believed I would meet somebody again, let alone somebody who was so incredible with Ryan.”

Her mother slid onto the stool beside her. “You really like him, don’t you?”

She bowed her head, nodding. “I really do, and I’m scared to death he’s going to break my heart.”

“It’s already too late, baby girl. You’re a goner.” Her mother patted her knee. “Now let me go see if I can console my grandson.”

Lexie sat at the counter and watched her disappear into Ryan’s room. Her mother was right, she was a goner. He’d somehow slipped into her life, and wrapped himself around her heart.

The doorbell rang, but before she could get off of the stool, Ryan flew out of his room, and threw open the door. “Grayson,” he screeched, wrapping himself around his legs.

“Hey, buddy.” He smiled, and reached down to pull him into his arms. “Think you can help me with this?”

His eyes grew wide as he looked over Grayson’s shoulder. Ryan pushed out of his arms, and she could hear his deep intake of breath when he stepped around him.

They came through the door carrying a large telescope between them. “What in the world?” she managed to utter.

“It’s a star watcher.” Ryan said with excitement. “It’s to see the cop-stale-ache-ns.”

Grayson laughed. “Yes, it is to see the constellations. I don’t think your grandma knows the stars like you do. I thought maybe you could show her Cassiopeia.”

Ryan followed closely behind him as Grayson sat the telescope on the deck. He bent over and peered into the eyepiece showing Ryan how to work the focus. Ryan ran back inside, and rushed out again, dragging his bathroom stool behind him.

Betty walked over to Lexie as they both took in the activity on the porch. “And you said it would never happen again.” Her mother threw her arm over her shoulder and gently squeezed.

“It’s different now. I’m a grown woman and know how much pain comes from loving someone who doesn’t stay. It’s even worse now that I have Ryan to worry about.”

“It’s not the same, Lexie. History doesn’t repeat itself like that. What happened to you was horrible, tragic, and heart wrenching, but very different. I think you’re looking for signs that aren’t there, and being unfair to Grayson and yourself in the process.”

“I don’t think I’m looking for signs. I think I’m just trying to be smart. At least as smart as I can be when my heart is working against me.” She turned and looked at her mother, searching for understanding. “Mom, this is the rest of my life we’re talking about, and Ryan’s. I have to be careful … ”

“I think you’re in big trouble if you’re not ready for the rest of your life. I think it’s already here. Don’t let your fear dictate your future.” She reached out and gently caressed her daughter’s cheek. A twinkle of mischief flashed in her eyes. “Besides, Ryan and I are both ready for you to settle down, and we both think he could be the one.” Betty winked.

A half an hour later, Lexie sat across from Grayson at her favorite seafood restaurant on the water. She couldn’t silence her mother’s words. Was this really it? Was he the one? Why did the thought terrify her as much as it excited her?

She looked around, touched he’d taken the time to find out her favorite restaurant and request a table by the window so they could watch the sunset. He continued to surprise her. Each passing day seemed better than the last. So why was she so reluctant to just let go?

“What are you thinking so hard about?” he asked, interrupting her thoughts. “Your face is all scrunched up, and you’re biting your lip in that nervous way of yours.”

Her hand rose to her lips. “I do not bite my lips, and I’m not nervous.” They both knew she was lying.

“So next you’re going to tell me you weren’t thinking of anything at all, right?”

“Ryan is really attached to you,” she blurted.

“And I’m really attached to him.” He took her hand in his, lightly brushing his thumb over her knuckles. “Does that bother you?”

“No … yes … ” She looked up, surprised by the concern she saw in his eyes. “It doesn’t bother me as much as worry me a little. I don’t think he’s ever grown attached to someone so quickly before. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

His eyes grew serious. “I wouldn’t hurt him. Even if you get tired of me and decide this date will be our last, I’d like to believe we’d remain friends, and that you would allow me to spend time with Ryan on occasion.”

She felt a warmness race through her, an unfamiliar longing that wrapped around her heart and squeezed. She took a deep breath and tried to force herself to tell him what she was feeling. “I don’t want tonight to be our last date. Ryan isn’t the only one who’s grown attached to you in a short period of time.”

He brought her hand to his lips and gently kissed her palm. “I didn’t believe this would ever happen for me again. I’m very glad it did.”

They were interrupted when the waiter arrived with their dinners. Setting her napkin in her lap, Lexie picked up her fork and pulled off a flake of her salmon. She moaned her approval. His eyebrow raised and the corners of his mouth twitched. “I sure like the way you enjoy food.”

She broke off another bite and fed him across the table. He closed his eyes and moaned as well.

“You’re right, it’s delicious.”

As they ate, Lexie finally asked the question nagging her since they were interrupted. “You mentioned that you didn’t think this would happen
again
? Do you want to tell me about the first time?”

Grayson’s eyes grew dark. He didn’t speak for a few moments, and she was beginning to wonder if he didn’t want to tell her about his past. “I’ve never really talked about this to anyone,” he finally said, his eyes appearing to search for something she couldn’t see. “Saying it out loud makes it seem foolish that I haven’t.”

Lexie remained silent as he appeared to struggle for words.

“I met a girl when I was on leave in New York. She was a dancer. Young, carefree, and full of life. I fell hard, I thought she did, too. I was stationed in Washington State at the time, and after only five days together, she came back with me.” He paused, almost like he was waiting for her to react. Finally, he asked her, “Does that seem crazy to you? That you could get so caught up in someone so quickly?”

She shook her head. If he would have asked her that before meeting him, she would have said it was beyond crazy, even foolish. Now she knew how quickly you could fall.

“We were happy. At least I believed we were. We talked about getting married, starting a family.” He cleared his throat. “When I received orders to Iraq, we even talked about getting married before I left, but she didn’t see any reason to rush it. I didn’t see any flags, not one. The morning before I deployed, she walked into the barracks, and told me it was over. Just like that, no explanation, just see you later, goodbye. I never heard from her again.”

Lexie could see the pain in his eyes. The confusion was still evident in the tone of his voice, the hurt still raw beneath the surface. “It must be hard … the not knowing why part.” He nodded his head. “Did you ever try to find her?”

“When I was in Iraq, I wrote to her. Trying to understand, wishing she would explain. I never heard back from her.” He reached over and grasped her hand. “It was a long time ago. I’m glad I’m here now.”

She could see he genuinely meant it. She squeezed his hand in reassurance. Her heart ached for him, and in that moment, she knew she would do anything she could to chase the hurt from his heart.

“What about you?” He asked, still gently stroking her hand on the table.

“What about me?”

“Do you want to tell me about Ryan’s father, or is that subject off limits?” His eyes were comforting.

“I know very little about Ryan’s father.” She smiled when his brow creased in confusion. “I adopted Ryan when his mother passed three years ago. All I knew of his father was that he had died before Ryan was born.”

He stuttered. “I didn’t realize … I just assumed … ”

“Of course you did. Why wouldn’t you?” She smiled at his astonished expression.

Finding his voice, he asked, “Has there ever been anyone? Anyone special, I mean.”

Her heart clenched and she looked down at the table to break his gaze while she tried to control her reaction. It had been close to eight years, but the pain was still fresh each time she remembered. “There was, but it was a long time ago.”

When he didn’t speak, she looked up. He silently watched her, waiting for her to continue. She wasn’t sure what to say.

“You loved him?”

She nodded her head, fighting back the tears. She knew if she spoke, her voice would crack and the dam would break.

“Lexie?” His eyes were filled with compassion.

“I don’t think I can do this tonight. I don’t want to do this tonight.” Her eyes pleaded with him to understand. “There have been too many bad memories discussed for one night, and I, for one, want tonight to be a good memory.”

“Okay, if you’re not ready … ” He said reassuringly. “But you will tell me about him, won’t you?”

She squeezed his hand. “I promise, but for tonight, how about we get out of here, and really enjoy our alone time?”

Grayson’s hand shot up in the air. “Check please.”

Lexie looked around Grayson’s living room. It was filled with boxes and there was almost no furniture with the exception of an old desk, a couch, and the large bed she could see through the open bedroom door.

“Can you tell I wasn’t expecting company?” He asked, picking a stack of clothes off the floor and setting them onto a closed box.

She slipped off her heels and set them on top of the nearest box. “Haven’t you lived here for a few months now?”

“Well, yeah, but I haven’t been here much. I sleep, go to work, and then find some excuse to hang out with you.”

He stepped over to her, and lifted her chin for a kiss. It was slow and gentle, and she felt it all the way down to her toes. She felt dizzy when he pulled back, and she placed her hand against his chest to brace herself.

“I may not have any furniture, but I bet I have a bottle of wine in the kitchen. Could I interest you in a glass?”

“Definitely.”

She slid onto the kitchen counter and watched him. He rolled up the sleeves on his cream-colored linen shirt and she watched as the muscles in his arms as he worked the cork. Tearing her eyes away from his arms, she realized he was standing still, watching her as he held a wine glass in each hand. Heat crept up her cheeks, and she lowered her head.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of you looking at me like that.” He walked closer and stood in front of her. “I also love the way you blush when you realize I’ve caught you staring.”

“I was not staring,” she said defensively. “And I certainly wouldn’t blush if I were. You have the largest ego I think I’ve ever encountered. How do you make it in the real world believing everyone is just panting in your wake?”

“Not everyone, just you.” He stepped closer, using his body to stop her attempted escape as she slid off the counter. “And it’s not ego, its fact. Knowing what you like is a good thing. Knowing that what you like is me is even better.” His eyes locked onto hers. The earlier amusement that danced in their green depths changed to desire.

He tilted her head back and pressed his mouth to hers. Her body arched in an attempt to close the space between them. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him to her. His lips lightly brushed over her cheek and down her neck. She tipped her head to the side, giving him easier access.

“You do have a big ego,” she mumbled.

He nibbled on her ear lobe and whispered, “It’s only going to get worse if you keep looking at me the way you do.”

Her brain short-circuited as she grasped for something sarcastic to say in response. He brought his mouth back to hers and dug his hands into her hair. Her body caught fire as she struggled with the clothes that separated his flesh from hers.

She unbuttoned his shirt, slid it over his shoulders and down his back, letting it fall to the floor. She dropped her arms long enough to pull her own shirt over her head and unhook her bra. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she ran her hands softly over the rippled muscles along his back.