The Trouble With Snowmen (11 page)

Chapter 22

“Son of a
bitch
!” Larry said for the twentieth time as he paced his apartment. He knew Haley had used him to get over Travis, but it had never crossed his mind that she’d used him to get Travis back. “I’m such a stupid ass. Drooling over this girl who never intended on leaving that asshole. She never wanted me. She wanted that son-of-a-bitch cowjerk back.”

The truth was he was just as mad at himself as he was at Haley. She’d left that night without saying goodbye, and then she’d even called Travis her boyfriend when they were both in their underwear. So what had made him think any different?

Larry marched to his bedroom and started throwing clothes into his bag. He had no reason to stay there. He’d stayed only because he wanted to be near Haley. He’d wanted to explore the possibility of having a relationship with her because he really liked her. She made him want to get his head out of the fantasy world and live in the real world. He thought she was fun and vibrant. How could he have been so wrong? But she’d just given him the kiss-off.
Sorry, I played you, ha, ha, now get lost
. He hurt in his head, in his core. He needed a drink.

Larry stomped to the kitchen and swung opened the refrigerator. “And to think, I went over there to apologize for hurting her feelings when she doesn’t have any!” He slammed the refrigerator door and walked to his desk and sat down for a second before jumping back up. He needed a drink.

Larry stomped back inside the kitchen and opened the well-stocked liquor cabinet. Brenda knew how to take care of him. He grabbed the bottle of Crown, still in its little purple bag, and a glass out the pantry.

He carried them back to the living room, where he planned on having a pity party, when from the corner of his eye, he saw a woman standing there in a nightgown and pink hair rollers. But yeah, she was a ghost. He was sure of it. He could see his desk straight through her.

Okay, now his heart beat faster as it became aware of the ghost in the dining room in the middle of the morning. Man, had he been wrong in all his books. In his stories, the ghosts only come out at night when it was dark. They most certainly didn’t look like they’d just crawled out of bed. His ghosts always looked like they’d crawled out of hell. They were hideous, with their eyes hanging out of their sockets and their guts showing.

But not this one. He studied and stared at the ghost, and she seemed to be doing the same to him. But it didn’t make any sense though that she was a woman. Hadn’t everyone said a man had died in this apartment? No mention of a woman. “Where?” she said in a tiny voice. “Where is . . .?”

She opened her mouth again, and instead of millions of cockroaches pouring out of it, she seemed to be trying to speak again.

He took a step forward so he could hear her better, but she vanished. He wearily laughed under his breath and felt a bit delirious. He had scared the ghost away. “Must have been my bad energy.”

He looked down at the alcohol and decided against it for the time being. Perhaps it had been a hallucination. He felt out of it, out of sorts, as if all his sanity had been a balloon and someone popped it.
Poof!
Gone.

Miserable. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He wanted to forget about Haley.

Larry called Brenda on the way to her apartment. Even though he didn’t know what he would say to her, he needed to talk to someone. He needed to rant and rave and figure it out. Figure out how he could’ve been so stupid. No wonder he didn’t go for women like Haley. Women who manipulated men and made them believe in lies. Lies. This was the reason why he hadn’t opened his heart before. The reason why he’d run away from any woman who seemed to be getting too close. He didn’t need this distraction. Haley had blindsided him. He had thought she was a hooker, someone he had no chance in hell of ever falling for.

When he arrived at Brenda’s, she was waiting for him. She had dressed for the occasion. Her blond hair flowed down over a tiny, tight, lacy, see-through thing. Obviously she thought Larry had come over for her, but she caught on pretty quickly that something was wrong.

“What happened to you?”

He’d brought the Crown with him and handed it to her. She fixed them a drink and they sat on the couch.

“What’s going on, baby?” She stroked his arm.

Larry started talking, told Brenda everything. Everything from the time he went to the séance until that moment. He told her all about snowmen, about Travis. He’d even told her how the main character in his book had reminded him of Haley.

“I see,” she finally said. “But it’s over now, right?”

Those words were like a punch in the stomach. And the punch hurt like hell because Brenda was right. “It had been a big game to her, some big lesson to teach her how to be cold. She learned well.”

“Come here,” Brenda said, drawing his head to her chest, the tops of her breast cool against his face. “She’s a heartless bitch. I warned you to stay away from her. But I am sorry she hurt you. I’m glad you came to see me.” She started unbuttoning his shirt. “Let me help you feel better.”

He did need to try and forget Haley. How many times had he run to Brenda for comfort, for companionship, for a rush, for relief? He needed it all right then.

This ritual had begun in college, a few months after they had mutually broken off their engagement. He’d gone to a party one night to try and drink his guilt away from breaking it off with a clingy girl and had run into Brenda. It all just came billowing out like some confession, and she’d been sympathetic. Understanding. They’d left the party together, and Brenda had made him forget all about the other girl. Afterward, they’d gone their separate ways. She didn’t call him or expect a single thing from him. No strings.

Things didn’t change after college either. Larry dressed up and went to events with Brenda whenever she needed a date, and Brenda picked up the pieces anytime Larry needed her. It was perfect, simple, uncomplicated.

As Brenda unzipped Larry’s pants now, she whispered, “Just relax, and let me help you feel better.”

She kissed his neck and then made her way up his chin to his lips. He closed his eyes and felt her climb onto his lap, straddling him. Larry’s anger and broken heart fused together with a rush of desire, and he responded eagerly.

Later, as they lay there, heaving in and out, staring up at her white ceiling, Larry felt strange, like he’d done something wrong. Did he actually feel guilty? This was not the result he’d been after. This was not how it was supposed to be. Brenda was supposed to make all the pain go away. Why the hell did he feel worse?

He’d wanted to leave the multiplex earlier, but he didn’t want to go home and face the real world just yet. He needed to go crawl inside his book. He stood up and gathered his clothes. “I’ve got to go.”

“What?” Brenda sat up on the couch. “You don’t have to go. I can cook, or we could talk some more.”

Larry ran his hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry.”

“Shit, Larry, don’t say you’re sorry.” Brenda stood up, naked, her hair a little riled. “You know I’m always here for you. Always.”

Maybe that was why he felt guilty. He had just used her. Again. “This, this wasn’t fair to you. I shouldn’t have come here.”

“I’m a big girl.” She licked her lips. “I do what I want. And I wanted you.”

He nodded as he pulled up his pants. “I’ve got to go, okay? But I’ll see you later. I’m going to the apartment and write.”

She kissed him. “Sure. And if you get lonely or sad again, you know where I am.”

Chapter 23

Haley heard Larry drive up and peeked out the window, careful to stay hidden. She watched as he got out of his car and walked up the path to the front door. He looked disheveled. His shirt was half untucked and his hair uncombed.

She couldn’t get what Maximilian had said out of her head. Could this man, this handsome, successful guy, really be into her? Had she messed everything up? Maximilian had said that Larry had wanted to talk to her, but she had done all the talking. Talked herself right out of a chance to be with Larry White.

But maybe Maximilian had misunderstood because Larry was with Brenda. Brenda had said ‘my boyfriend’ and he hadn’t denied it. But that didn’t mean he didn’t have feelings for her. She’d been with Travis, but as soon as Larry was in her presence, had looked at her with that intensity, she knew Larry was the man she wanted to be with.

“Why did I say I wanted Travis?” Because she didn’t want to look foolish,
that’s
why. Yet she had ended up making the biggest fool of herself ever.

Haley walked away from the dining room window and through the living room to her front door. She bit her lower lip when she heard Larry’s footsteps in the hall. He was right there.

She heard him shut his apartment door. All she had to do was cross the hall. But then she remembered that Maximilian had said Larry looked angry when he’d left his apartment. He might not even open his door. Or worse, what if he did? What would she say? Nothing came to mind that sounded sane. Was she willing to blurt out that she’d lied about Travis? Was she ready to confess that all she could think about was him? Her hands shook and her legs became weak just thinking about his reaction. He might be like, “That’s nice, but you know I’m with Brenda.” Or he might say what she did to him was unforgivable.

She let her face fall in her hands and shook her head before going to the couch and sitting down. Picking up the remote, she snapped on the television, but it wasn’t enough of a distraction. No matter how hard she tried to focus on the program, the thought that she’d made the biggest mistake of her life wouldn’t budge. If one tear rolled down her cheek, there would be no stopping them.
I have to get out of here
.

Haley grabbed her purse and her camera and headed out the door. As she passed Larry’s door, she held her breath.

Haley drove a little red Dakota pickup truck, a college graduation present from her parents. It wasn’t really new, and even though she could afford a new vehicle—well she could have up until a few days ago—she didn’t want anything else. She loved that little truck, had ever since she first sat behind the wheel. Her dad had bought it from a friend and fixed it up. He’d said, “Bought you a new radio and hubcaps,” which was his way of saying “I love you, and I’m proud of you.”

She didn’t have a real plan as to where she was headed. She just jumped in, turned up Miranda Lambert, and hit the freeway. She’d been on the road for about an hour when she realized she was headed home to Lufkin.

As she drove up the long driveway, her mom came out of the house, the screen door slamming behind her. She saw that her dad had picked up some more lawn art which included wagon wheels, a non-working decorative well, and an oil pump thingy.

Her mom wore a huge smile, and as Haley got out of her truck, she heard her hollering to her dad, who was probably behind the house in his shop. Sure enough, he came around the corner before Haley had made it to the front porch.

“Oh my goodness,” her mom said and gave her a hug. Her mom stood a foot shorter than her—Haley got her height from her dad’s side of the family—and she had little slivers of gray in her red hair. “I’m so happy to see you. What a great surprise. You look so beautiful.”

“Thanks, Mom. Good to see you too. I’ve missed you.” Haley turned to her dad. “Hey, Dad.” She gave him a hug.

“Whatcha you doing here? Need money?” He reached behind him and brought out his wallet. “I know how expensive it is in the city.”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Well, why you here? Is it your birthday, mother?”

“Howard, she just come to visit,” Mom said.

“I missed you guys. Can’t a daughter visit?”

“Of course you can,” Mom said. “Come in. Come in.”

“I’m going to go finish the yard,” Howard grumbled and headed toward the back of the house.

Haley and her mom walked inside the living room. Her mom kept a clean house, but nothing ever changed. Lots of shelves with pictures of her and Mae lined the back wall. The windows were open and the ceiling fan spun and thumped, blowing a nice breeze through the room, despite the warm day.

“Can I get you some tea?”

“Sure,” Haley said and felt better already. She sat down on the couch as her mom went to the kitchen. She had her camera around her neck and snapped a couple of pictures of her dad through the window. He stepped up onto his tractor. For as long as she could remember, her dad had spent his weekends on that thing.

Her mom came back in and handed Haley the glass of iced tea and sat in her recliner. “You can fool your dad with all that ‘I missed y’all’ but I can tell something is wrong.” She leaned in for a closer look. “You’ve been crying.”

Haley shrugged. “Just a little bit. I broke up with Travis.” She had already decided to tell her that much, enough to justify being upset, everything else were things she didn’t want to get into at that moment.

“I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not about that, but there is something I want to ask you.”

“Sure, anything.”

“Were you happy here, raising me and Mae? I mean, happy being just a mom and a homemaker?”

“Of course I was happy. Why would you ask that?”

“I’m never going to apply to law school,” Haley blurted. “I’m never going to be a high-paid executive. Those things are just not me. I know you wanted me to go to college, be independent, make a lot of money, but I don’t think I want to be that person. I’m not that person.”

Her mom had a slight frown of confusion or concern, Haley couldn’t tell which one.

But then her mom said, “I’m proud of you, Haley. You have a great job and are living on your own. I’m so proud of you.”

“I got fired.” She
hadn’t
meant to say that.

“Oh,” her mom said. “Honey, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I hated it. I hate law.”

“Okay.”

Haley stood up and turned away. She had to get through this once and for all. She was an adult and she was going to say what she wanted to say. “You told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, but it always seemed to involve a high-paying career. But what I want is to learn how to cook, and I want to have dinner parties and be a room mother. What I want to be when I grow up, if I’m ever given the opportunity, is a wife and a mother. Like you.” She hadn’t turned around yet, afraid to look, afraid to see the disappointment in her mom’s eyes over all the wasted money and brain washing.

She heard her mom sniffle, so she twirled around and, sure enough, her mom was in tears. She walked over to her and hugged her saying how sorry she was for disappointing her.

“I could never be disappointed in you,” her mom said.

Haley pulled away. “No? Then why are you crying?”

“All I’ve ever wanted for my two girls is for y’all to be happy. I just wanted to be able to give you opportunities I never had. I never meant for you to feel pressured into anything. That was not want I meant. I meant my words to be encouraging, not orders. If your sister wants to be a tattoo artist . . .”

“She finally told you about that, huh?”

“. . . and you want to be a mommy, well . . . Wait, Haley, are you pregnant right now? Are you telling me you’re pregnant and that you need to come home?”

“No! I’m not pregnant.”

Her mom let out a breath of relief. “But that would have been just fine. We might have needed to ease your dad into the idea, but however you want to live your life, just be happy.”

Haley smiled at her mom. It was such a different world she had grown up in, here with her mom and dad, she’d almost forgotten what it was like. It felt nice being here. Maybe this was what had driven her here. She didn’t have a job and was unsure of her future. “But what you said about coming home. If I did need to move back for a little while, would that be a possibility?”

“Oh my, yes. Honey, you are welcome here, anytime. You know that.”

Haley felt better to have gotten it all out in the open and to know that if she decided to, she could come back home. She wouldn’t have to stay forever, but maybe taking a break from everything to get her thoughts back together, to regroup, was what she needed to do. She could go to her childhood room and dream of the future.

“I did already tell Mae she could stay in your room and her boyfriend could have hers, but you girls could maybe get bunk beds and—”

“Hold on. Wait! What?”

“Oh, Mae didn’t tell you? She asked if she and, I think his name is Sharky, or is it Sharpy? Shape?” Mom shook her head. “She asked if they could move in here for a little while, until they get married. No more than a year, she said. The boyfriend is looking for work, and she’s also trying to get started with those tattoos.”

“This is the first I’ve heard. Did you say Mae is getting married?” Mae had sworn off marriage when she turned twelve, but then again, she hadn’t seen her sister in a year. She guessed a lot could change in a year. Most likely, though, saying they wanted to get married was just a ploy to make her dad agree to let them stay under the same roof. Hold up. Had her mom said bunk beds? Haley sat up straight. Her coming home party was taking more hits than a piñata.

“You know, there’s that nice young man down the street, what’s his name? George. He’s not married yet.”

“That’s because he’s a goat farmer, and he smells like one.”

“He’s got money and lots of land. Every time I see him, he asks about you.”

Haley shook her head. “No, Mom. You know George Smith has been stalking me since the fifth grade. He’s weird. Creepy.”

“You can’t be so picky. You just said you wanted to be a mom. Sometimes you have to compromise.”

Haley stood up and went to the shelves that were packed with framed pictures. She looked at her college graduation photo, the one her mom took right before they came home. The feeling of dread started in her chest and moved down to her gut. That day, as soon as they’d arrived home, her mom reminded her of the “quiet rules” her dad had set, which included a curfew, what time the television had to be turned off, and how long she was allowed to talk on the phone. She knew all these things were requested because her dad woke up so easily and wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, but they’d made her feel like she was twelve-years-old again. How could she have forgotten why she’d been so miserable when she had to stay here after college? And she hadn’t even had to share a room with Mae then. There was no way she’d be able to share a room with her. The thought of it made her want to go jump in her truck right that second. She loved her family, but now standing on a stage in front of millions of people didn’t seem so horrible.