The Trophy Exchange (53 page)

“
I know. You
’
re right. It
’
s easier to say it than live it.
”

“
So what then, Lucinda? If I help Ellen pick up the pieces and discover the love is still gone. What then? Will you be there for me?
”

“
I can
’
t promise you that, Ted.
”

“
Why not?
”

“
It
’
s not a good time.
”

“
Oh, I get it. It
’
s Dr Spencer.
”

Lucinda grimaced.
“
What are you talking about?
”

“
Dr Evan Spencer. Good looking. Lots of money. Respected widower. What more could a woman ask for. He
’
d be good for you.
”
Ted exhaled loudly.

“
Good imagination, Ted. Even if I were interested in Evan Spencer, I
’
m sure he has no interest in me. I imagine him with a cute, young, little trophy wife that can deliver a couple more kids.
”

“
You
’
re wrong, Lucinda. I saw how he looked at you, how he hugged you, how he kissed you.
”

“
Bullshit, Ted. All you saw was an overwrought expression of gratitude.
”

“
Bullshit back at you, Lucinda. Sure he
’
s grateful you saved his daughter
’
s life but his feelings for you go beyond that. I
’
m a man, too. I know what I saw.
”

“
O
kay
, Ted. Let me put it plainly. Not making a commitment to you has nothing to do with Spencer.
”
She sketched an
‘x’
on her chest with her index finger.
“
Cross my heart.
”

“
Then what is it about, Lucinda? Does the thought of life with me make your skin crawl?
”

“
It
’
s not about you, either, Ted. It
’
s about me. I
’
m not ready to make a commitment to anyone. I can barely take care of my cat on my own. And then there
’
s my face
. . .”

“
That is irrelevant to me.
”

“
And that
’
s great, Ted. I honestly appreciate that. But it does matter to me. It
’
s not like I
’
m fretting about the loss of my looks but lately I
’
ve been wondering about why I
’
ve done nothing to improve them. Why do I insist on hiding behind this grotesque mask
–
scaring little kids, shocking adults, living as if Halloween was a lifestyle? My inaction is a symptom of an underlying problem.
”

“
What problem?
”

“
I don
’
t know and that
’
s part of the problem I have to figure out. I
’
m screwed up, Ted, and I need to deal with that before I even think about inviting anyone special into my life. And when I get myself in shape, who knows? I might discover I should be alone. That I should grow old with Chester and forget about any so-called meaningful relationship. Right now I just don
’
t know.
”

“
I think you
’
re chicken. I think you
’
re afraid of commitment.
”

“
Chicken? Maybe. But I
’
ve got to figure that out by myself. Right now, a relationship would only enable me to continue to avoid addressing my problems. I need to face them, Ted, and as soon as my suspension starts, I
’
ll do just that.
”

Seventy-Two

For three months, Lucinda lived a cloistered life. It only took a couple of weeks to wrap up the shooting inquiry with a conclusion of justified homicide. With that out of the way, Lucinda took additional leave from the job. She used the excuse of the shooting when she made her request but it was far more complex than that.

She shared turkey with Chester on Thanksgiving Day and watched him shred the wrapping around a new catnip mouse on Christmas morning. She left the house only to see her doctor or go to the hospital. She arranged all her grocery visits around her medical appointments and got in and out of the store as quickly as possible.

She discouraged those who called inquiring about her welfare. She reached out to no one but Charley. Every week, she sent her a funny greeting card with a short note that revealed no real news.

It took some time for her to come to an understanding that her refusal to embark on any reconstructive surgery was nothing more than an infliction of punishment
–
a self-imposed flagellation to ease her survival guilt
–
and it wasn
’
t working. With that knowledge and her acceptance of it, she embarked on a path of forgiveness, banishing the tattered remnants of guilt she bore for not rescuing her mother.

After a few consultations with the hand-picked referrals made by Evan Spencer, she opted to begin the process with ophthalmic reconstructive surgery. She
’
d worn the black patch like a scarlet letter for more than two years. Now it was time for it to go.

Dr.
Rambo Burns
–
what in heaven
’
s name were his parents thinking when they saddled him with that moniker?
–
reconstructed her eyelid, repaired the orbital fractures and implanted a custom-made ocular prosthesis. She was ready to return to the real world. Her first day to report back to work was Monday morning.

On a sunny but chilly Saturday afternoon, she set out to make her first social call since her self-imposed exile. On the way to the Spencer home, she stopped by the station and picked up a piece of evidence
–
the last loose end in the complete picture of Kirk Spencer
’
s warped chain of murderous rage.

She pulled open the gate leading to the Spencer
’
s front yard. The second she heard its creak, tingles of apprehension like a jolt of electricity raced through her limbs leaving her weak in the knees. As she walked the length of the sidewalk and up the steps to the porch, images flashed like a manic slide show in her head. Ruby running out of the house. Click. Her quick ascent up the stairs to the second floor. Click. The body of Charley with a rope around her neck. Click. The confrontation with Kirk. Click. Her finger squeezing the trigger. Click. The bloody crater in Kirk
’
s forehead. Click. Breathing life into Charley. Click. The dead body of Kirk on the floor. Click.

She pressed a trembling finger on the doorbell. She heard its ring echoing in the house and the still shots in her mind faded away. If this house has this much impact on me, how can they continue to live here?

“
Lieutenant! How wonderful to see you again
.”
Evan greeted her with a smile.
“
We
’
ve been thinking and talking about you a lot.
”
Then he noticed that she still sported the black eyepatch.
“
I thought you
’
d seen
Dr.
Burns?
”

“
Oh, the patch? I
’
m only wearing it to surprise Charley,
”
she said flipping it up to display her reconstructed eye.

“
Looks like old Rambo did a good job. Charley
’
s not here now,
”
he said looking down at his watch.
“
But I expect her back from a friend
’
s birthday party any minute. Come in, come in, I really would like to get a better look at your eye, if you don
’
t mind.
”

In the hallway, he looked the eye over so intently, Lucinda began to squirm with discomfort.

“
Fantastic job. Rambo outdid himself this time. Are you pleased with the results?
”

“
Very. Thank you. The department was very pleased with the bill
–
or lack of one Thanks again, Doctor.
”

“
What
’
s next?
”

“
Step two is the lip reconstruction. Then we move on with the facial scar revision. It
’
s amazing the terms I
’
ve added to my vocabulary.
”

“
When are you scheduled for the next procedure?
”

“
I
’
m not.
”

“
Oh, come on, Lieutenant. The procedures on your eye went so well. Don
’
t tell me you
’
re going to stop now?
”

“
I
’
m not stopping. I just need a break for a while. I need to get my life back to its normal routine.
”
She didn
’
t know when she
’
d be ready to take the next step and she didn
’
t want to argue about it. She changed the subject.
“
Is Ruby here?
”

“
Yes, she
’
s here. But she
’
s upstairs taking a nap. You
’
re stuck with me for company. Let
’
s have a seat while we wait for one of the girls to join us.
”

Lucinda settled into a loveseat and Evan into an adjacent chair.
“
How are the girls doing?
”
Lucinda asked.

“
Much better than I would have thought. I
’
m very pleased. Both of them have been seeing a child psychologist and it
’
s done them a world of good. I was a bit of an ass about that when my mother suggested counseling right after Kathleen
’
s death. I still carried hostility toward the mental health profession for their inability to help Kirk when we were kids.
”

While he talked, Lucinda
’
s gaze traveled around the room where she spotted framed photographs of Kathleen scattered on the mantelpiece and on tables.
“
The past sure has a way of dragging at our heels. But it looks as if you
’
ve put some of your demons to rest, Doctor. You
’
ve unpacked the pictures of Kathleen.
”

“
To be honest, I couldn
’
t have done it on my own. I
’
ve had some counseling, too. I realized I wasn
’
t doing myself or the girls any favors by hiding those away as if Kate never existed. But I
’
ll be packing them all up soon.
”

“
Really? Why?
”

“
We
’
re moving. I bought one of the lofts down in that area of riverside development. Ours is in an old warehouse with a great view of the James River. The architect worked with us to design the perfect space. She was so patient with the girls. The renovation is underway and it should be move-in ready about the same time Charley finishes up the school year. The three of us can make a fresh start in a new place and away from the bad memories of what happened in our home. Much as I love this old house, its time to bid it goodbye.
”

“
The last few months must have been rough.
”

“
A bit. But Charley
’
s psychologist didn
’
t think a mid-year school change would be a good idea. Both of the girls still see Kirk in their old bedrooms and neither one wants to sleep alone. So my master bedroom looks like a barracks. I moved both of the girls
’
beds in there. Their counselors are working with them and getting them excited about hav
ing their own rooms in our new home. Participating in the design with the architect helped a lot.
”

“
Before either of the girls shows up, can I take you back into the past for just a moment, Doctor? There
’
s something I want to ask you about.
”

“
Sure. Anything you need, Lieutenant. Ask away.
”

Lucinda pulled out a clear plastic bag plastered with a bright red, initialed evidence sticker and held it up.
“
Does this look familiar to you?
”

Evan looked at the tiny links of the gold chain that held a small black pendant with its hand-painted pink rose.
“
Oh, my. That looks like a necklace my mother wore. Where did you find it?
”

“
It was recovered from Kirk
’
s pocket during
the
autopsy.
”

Evan blanched.
“
He brought it here? If he killed one of my girls, he would have left it on her?
”

“
I think so.
”

“
I don
’
t know what to say, Lieutenant, but I owe you a huge debt. Thank you for not allowing that to happen.
”

The front door flew open and Lucinda slid the bag into her pocket.

Charley squealed,
“
Lucy!
”
and threw herself into Lucinda
’
s lap.

“
How are you doing, sweetheart? How was the party?
”