The Trials of the Honorable F. Darcy (19 page)

***

Elizabeth steeled herself for her first appearance before Judge Darcy. She was composed but felt jittery. She waited in the courtroom for him to enter. She was thankful that her opposing counsel was already there and she would not be greeting him alone.

Darcy swept into the courtroom and sat at his bench, making eye contact with no one. He looked briefly at the case and then looked up at both attorneys.

“Good afternoon Mr. Johnson, Miss
Bennet
,” he said quietly. Elizabeth murmured a response, clenching her fingers together tightly behind her back. Could he hear her heart pounding? Mr. Johnson made his case and Elizabeth shakily made her counter arguments. Judge Darcy listened quietly and then ruled in Mr. Johnson’s favor without comment. Elizabeth knew she had done a poor job but she felt a pang of pain when she saw what looked like disappointment flash across Darcy’s face. She looked at her client apologetically. Darcy made no further comments and the parties shuffled out in record time. Mr. Johnson was surprised at Elizabeth’s meekness at the ruling; he knew she had case law in her favor that she had not raised. He watched her confer briefly with her client and then she headed for the elevator to return to her office.

Elizabeth let out a breath; she felt like she had been holding it in all afternoon, released only after she saw him. She thought he looked tired, bordering on haggard. She knew she probably looked no better. But it had not sated her wish to see him; she wanted to see him smile, to laugh as she knew he could. She finished her work and went to the gym for another run.

Darcy took a brief break after Elizabeth’s case, calling a 10 minute recess. He went to his office and let out a shaky breath.
OK, that wasn’t so bad.
She had done poorly but that was only to be expected under the circumstances. He was confident that she would be back in fighting form before long. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and paced his office. Should he call her? He wanted to see her privately
-
badly.

At lunchtime he had bought a new cell phone and had taken the memory card from his destroyed phone to see if they could salvage the photo. He was looking at it now on his new phone. She was smiling mischievously into the camera, not quite mugging but not coy. He felt himself smiling back at her, though his heart ached. Bingley had not yet called back with her number but Darcy hoped that he would. He knew Bingley would have to go through Jane to get it and Jane might not be willing to give that out to him. He knew Bingley wouldn’t lie about why he wanted it. Damn him.

Bingley left Elizabeth’s number on Darcy’s voice mail later that afternoon. Darcy contemplated a long time whether to call her. Instead, he went for a long, long run.

***

The next day, he saw her briefly in the cafeteria. She was sitting with Charlotte Lucas and Mary King. He sat across the room and picked at his food while looking at her, hoping nobody noticed him staring. She met his eyes briefly then looked away.

Elizabeth felt an electric shock when she saw him in the cafeteria; she had hoped he would not be there and she had allowed Charlotte and Mary to persuade her to join them for lunch. They had concocted some insane story that Elizabeth had been in a passionate but ill-fated love affair while on vacation, hence her foul mood. She couldn’t fault them for accuracy and tried to either remain silent or laugh it off.

“She is so seriously distracted, she is thinking about all the hot love she got during vacation,” Charlotte laughed.

Mary agreed. “Yes, she’s been cut off,” she laughed. Elizabeth laughed half-heartedly and tried to play along.

“What makes you so sure I had so much great sex during my vacation?” she asked.

“When you stop putting the cream in the coffee, it gets bitter,” Charlotte said. Mary burst out laughing, and even Elizabeth had to laugh at the euphemism. But she watched Darcy through her lashes and saw that he was looking at her. When they burst out laughing, he stood and left.

A few moments later her cell phone rang. It was an unidentified number. Charlotte looked at the phone.

“Loverboy is calling!” she laughed. Elizabeth rolled her eyes in exasperation and picked up her phone without answering it.

“I’m going back to work,” she said and left. Charlotte and Mary looked at each other surprised; Elizabeth was a good sport, they were shocked by her behavior.

When she reached her office, she checked her message.

“Elizabeth, it’s Will. Please call me.” He left a number.

The sound of his voice shocked her; she had not expected him to call her. She did not think he even had her number. She could not call him, she was not prepared to talk to him. She saved the message so that she could listen to his voice again but had no intention of calling him back.

The next day she had another appearance before him. It did not go well. She was better prepared this time and they butted heads. She made objections and he overruled her. He rejected evidence that she attempted to introduce. She made objections to his rulings on the record to preserve the issues for appeal. He barked at her and the other attorney and criticized both of their cases harshly, then made a ruling somewhere between both of their positions.

She returned to her office in frustration at the interaction rather than the ruling. Her first appearance before him had been so low-key, she had hoped it would remain that way. She was foolish to hope for that; they had always had fireworks on her cases, yet she respected him as a judge.

She sat at her desk and her cell phone rang. Unidentified number. She did not answer it. She was afraid to talk to him. Later on in the day she checked her messages; he had left two more, asking her to call him back. She didn’t. She went to the gym and took two consecutive yoga classes instead.

When she got home that night, she checked her phone again. There were no new messages from him. As she fiddled with her phone, she accidentally tapped into the photo album function. She almost dropped the phone like a hot ember when she saw the picture of Darcy kissing her cheek. She had taken the picture of them in Trafalgar square after he had taken her picture. She had forgotten all about it. It caused a serious shock to her; she looked at it and felt the sting of tears rising. She paged through the photos: there she was under the stone lions; there he was kissing her cheek; now a picture of them looking contentedly at the phone. She saw the picture of him in his riding boots, feet propped on the ottoman. She shook with silent tears but didn’t have the heart to delete the pictures.

***

On Friday, Darcy was in his foulest temper yet. He actually reduced one attorney to tears and ejected another from his courtroom until he
,
the attorney
,
learned the evidence code. All of the attorneys appearing before him were trembling, warning each other to be careful before him. It was in this atmosphere that Elizabeth took her last case of the week before him.

She could see that his face was like a thunderstorm as soon as he came out. She could not recall ever seeing him so out of sorts. He brought the case to order immediately. She was well prepared. She made objections and he overruled her. She reiterated her objections and argued with him. They raised their voices over each other. She rolled her eyes at him and asked that her objections be made on the record.

She felt he was deliberately ruling against her to prove that he had no special regard for her. She made a final attempt to introduce a piece of evidence; her opposing counsel objected and Darcy sustained the objection. Elizabeth argued and Darcy held firm. She persevered.

“Miss
Bennet
, you are walking a very fine line today,” Darcy said in a dangerous tone as he again denied the admission of her evidence.

“What planet’s laws are you following?” she finally said in exasperation, throwing her hands up. A hush fell over the courtroom at this. Darcy’s face reddened and he stood up.

“I am calling a 5 minute recess.” He tossed his gavel on the bench. “Miss
Bennet
, I’ll see you in my chambers. Now.” His tone brooked no argument. The opposing counsel stood to follow them.

“Alone,” Darcy said commandingly.

Elizabeth’s face flushed and she slammed her file on her table and followed him to his chambers. Both walked in silence, their body language exuding fury as they passed his secretary. He opened the door to his office and closed it firmly after she had stepped in.

“Elizabeth, what the hell are you doing out there?” he asked her.

“I’m preserving my case for appeal from your misguided rulings.”

“Your objections are baseless and you’re not laying the foundation for your evidence.”

“I think you’re wrong,” she replied.

This conversation would have been perfectly normal if he hadn’t swept her into his arms and started kissing her hungrily as soon as the door was closed. She returned his kisses with an eagerness that lifted his heart. She hadn’t forgotten about him, she still wanted him. She felt the same elation when he pressed her close to him and she felt his heart pounding.

“Why won’t you return my calls?” he asked her between kisses.

“It’s over, remember? It was all a dream,” she answered huskily.

“No, that was the reality, this is the nightmare. I don’t want to do this anymore.” He stepped back from her, both breathing heavily. His hair was mussed from where her fingers had grabbed it.

“I don’t either; you promised it would end when we got back,” she said in a low voice. “We shouldn’t even be here.”

“Elizabeth, I can’t do this. I need to see you. We’ll work something out.”

“I can’t see any way out without revealing our relationship,” she stated. She put a hand to his face and wiped away a smudge of lipstick and smoothed down his hair. He pulled her suit jacket back in place.

“I’ll think of something,” he said and opened the door, cutting off any response she may have had. They returned to the courtroom.

“Mr. Johnson, I am removing myself from this case,” Darcy announced as he returned to his bench.

“What? You can’t do that!” Elizabeth cried. Mr. Johnson also began to protest; he liked Darcy as a judge. Darcy held up his hand to both of them.

“During my conversation with Miss
Bennet
, we discussed the merits of her argument. It was unintentional but it was an
ex parte
communication and I would feel more comfortable removing myself from this case.”

“That’s baloney!” Elizabeth exclaimed hotly. Darcy’s face reddened again and he looked at her. She recovered herself. “It was not a conversation on the merits, it was a technical point,” she added.

“Miss
Bennet
, would you like to return to my chambers and rehash our conversation or would you like me to sanction you now?” he said, the dangerous tone creeping back into his voice. Her temper flared again. She pulled her checkbook out of her purse.

“Should I make the check to F. Darcy? Middle initial U?” she retorted angrily. He threw the gavel on his bench.

“Chambers. NOW.” He said, pointing at the hallway. She followed him, aware they were leaving a courtroom of gaping disbelief in their wake.

He closed the door and pulled her into his arms again, kissing her.

“I cannot be on this case,” he said as he nuzzled her ear.

“Not after that you can’t,” she admitted, chagrined. She rolled her head back to expose the tender flesh of her neck to him.

“Please see me tonight,” he said huskily against her jaw line.

“We shouldn’t,” she whispered.

He was kissing her throat now. “I need to see you. Please.” Her fingers had again wrapped in his curly hair and she hungrily sought his kisses.

“Will, this can’t work.” She was now kissing his jaw line, standing on tiptoe and pulling his head toward her.

“It can, we just have to make it work,” he reassured her. He put his lips to hers again and gave her a passionate, probing kiss that seemed to suck her willpower out of her. His hands were beneath her suit jacket, splayed across her back. He slid one hand down to cup her bottom.

“Lizzy, please, I need you,” he whispered in her ear. His voice was shaky.

Elizabeth felt dazed from his searching kiss; she wanted him desperately and he had pretty effectively reduced her defenses in mere seconds. She nodded in defeat; she needed him too.

“Come to my place at eight o’clock,” he said. “Nobody we know lives in my building. It will be safe.” He shakily wrote his address on one of his business cards and handed it to her.

“This is wrong,” she said, troubled. She looked at the address. He lived in a very toney section of town.

“No, this is right.
We
are right. We have to work around the rule.” She nodded again and straightened her jacket. He tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear and kissed her again.

They both returned to the courtroom, their faces flushed with desire that was construed as anger by everyone who saw them.

“Please take this case to Judge Clayton,” Darcy ordered. Elizabeth said nothing. She regretted her retort to him; it had shown blatant disrespect for him in the courtroom and by not sanctioning her for that behavior, he looked weak.

“Your Honor, I’m very sorry for my comment earlier. Please let me apologize. I am very sorry,” she said clearly
,
and genuinely contritely
,
so that everyone would hear.

“Thank you Miss
Bennet
. Apology accepted.” He saw that she was saving face for him and he appreciated it. He feared he would have to sanction her, which would involve reporting her to the state bar. That might have some negative impact on her sleeping with him.

She drove home wondering if it was the right thing to do to meet him. He was right that it certainly felt like the right thing to do; she was miserable without him and he was clearly miserable without her. But could it work? Should they try to see each other regularly? Should they just be friends? Would that be enough? She didn’t think so
...

She was glad that Jane was not home when she pulled into the driveway. She didn’t want to explain herself; she had enough doubts about meeting him without Jane’s input. She hastily shed her suit and showered. She slipped into a blue peasant skirt, sandals, and a brown tank top. She left Jane a brief note indicating she was meeting a friend and wasn’t sure when she would be back. She wasn’t sure whether this was going to be an overnight visit herself. She got back into her car and followed the directions to his building.

She was politely stopped by the doorman before she even entered the foyer of the building. She told him she was there to see Mr. Darcy and he called up to ensure that she was expected.

“He’s expecting you, Miss
Bennet
,” the doorman smiled when he hung up. “Twenty-first floor.”

“Which number?” she asked.

“Er, the entire floor, miss.” Elizabeth raised her eyebrows in surprise, then walked inside.

Elizabeth hit the button for the 21st floor in the elevator and waited patiently as it glided silently and smoothly to the top. Her nervousness climbed with each floor. By the time she reached 21, her heart was pounding and her mouth was dry. She took a deep breath and stepped into the hallway.

She wanted to see him, desperately. She couldn’t deny how terribly she had missed him this week. But she was also convinced that it was wrong to see him. She hoped she had the nerve to end it for good.

She rang the doorbell and he opened the door. Both stood frozen; he wanted to ravage her in the doorway and she wanted to hide.

Darcy drank in the sight of her. Her eyes were wide; he could tell that she was nervous. He realized that they were just staring at each other and he stepped aside to let her in.

“I was afraid you would change your mind,” he said as he closed the door behind her.

“I almost did.” She looked around her tensely; he could see her pulse beating at the base of her throat and her chest rising with her shallow breaths.

“Elizabeth,” he began, but his own emotions stopped him. In two swift steps she was wrapped tightly in his arms, his lips planted firmly on hers. Her arms were around him before she even knew what she was doing. He put one hand to the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her curls. The other hand splayed on her lower back, sneaked under her tank top to caress her smooth skin.

Her own hands were caressing the back of his neck, pulling his head closer to hers. She heard little moaning noises coming from her throat as he pulled her hair back, exposing her neck. He hotly kissed her throat, her ear, her shoulder.

“Lizzy, I’ve missed you so much,” he said, raising his head from her neck. His eyes were clouded with desire and her flushed cheeks showed her own. “I’ve felt inhuman all week. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, all I think about is you.” She laughed tremulously, hearing him tell her own story.

“I know exactly how you feel,” she said as she pulled away from him. She ran a shaky hand over her face. “I’m miserable.” It ironically lifted his heart to hear that she was suffering as he was. He wanted to touch her, kiss her, love her, devour her, make her his own, a part of him, unreachable to anyone else.

She sighed deeply and turned toward him.

“Now what?” she asked. He didn’t know the answer. He had assured her that he would find a way to make their relationship work but he hadn’t thought about it beyond getting her to come here. Now that she was here, he couldn’t possibly think about anything else
but
her.

“I don’t know,” he replied simply. She hugged her arms around herself and looked around.

“Nice place,” she said, trying to think of anything other than his hard body.

“Don’t,” he said, stepping closer to her.

“Don’t what?” she turned to face him. He closed the distance between them and took her hand.

“Don’t avoid me, don’t pretend this isn’t happening, whatever it is you’re doing.” He put her hand on his chest so that she could feel his pounding heart. “This is real. This is us.” She closed her eyes. She was so close, just on the edge of victory or defeat, but she didn’t know which was which anymore. All she knew was that he was warm and smelled like moss and she wanted more than anything to be absorbed completely in him.

He waited with anticipation, her hand trembling on his chest. He wouldn’t force her but god, he needed to be with her. It wasn’t just sex, he wanted that connection again, that cosmic bond he felt when they were together. It was like everything in life was painted in faded colors but she brought everything to blinding Technicolor.

She turned into his chest and put her head against it. He stroked her hair, closing his eyes and smelling pears. He tipped her chin up and tentatively kissed her; she deepened the kiss on her own. Before he knew what was happening he had swept her up and carried her to his bedroom, laid her gently on the bed and swept the pillows aside. He lay beside her and stroked her skin with his fingertips, lingering on every dip and hollow, tasting every rise and curve of her flesh. She seemed somehow more beautiful than last time he had seen her, as if she had faded somewhat in his memory despite her constant visage there. He couldn’t remember how they got undressed, only that when they were naked was when he felt her hot against him, his nerves straining to perceive every single sensation she gave him. He was lost in her.

Elizabeth was keenly aware of every movement he made, every little sound that came from him as he kissed her skin, every electric zing as he touched her in all the places that only he had ever
truly
explored and
known
. She was helpless to stop him or herself, she was swept away on the tide of her own longing for him. When he finally buried himself in her, her sigh was as much relief as pleasure; at last she was whole.