The Trauma of Everyday Life: A Guide to Inner Peace (30 page)

Plath, Sylvia, 69

pleasure, 21, 115–16, 118, 119–20, 126–28

sensual and sensory, 107, 108, 116, 117, 118, 126–27

posttraumatic stress disorder, 150, 157

pot, aluminum, 31–32, 33

primitive agonies, 19–32, 66, 72, 138, 155, 165, 197, 198, 202, 206

Realistic View, 2–4, 204, 205, 206, 207

reflective/verbal knowing, 170

relatedness, 162–63, 165, 172

relational home, 196–211

relational knowing, 150, 169–70, 173–74, 178, 180–83, 185, 188, 190–91, 193, 194, 202, 203, 211

relaxation, in mindfulness, 89–90, 97

retreats, 90–96, 104–5, 129–34

Rilke, Rainer Maria, xiii, 106

Rolway Dorje, Jankya, 203–5

Safran, Jeremy, 176–77, 178

Salzberg, Sharon, 96–98, 107, 109

samsara, 37–38, 152

Schwartz, Harvey L., 67

self, 9, 15–16, 32, 45, 79, 89, 122–23, 132, 153, 194, 198–99, 208

aggregates of, 10

dissociation and, 64–84, 86, 122–23

engaged nature of, 165

internal cohesion and, 167

locating, 92, 95

no-self, 9, 11, 123, 127, 130–31, 133

self-absolutization, 95

self-awareness, 88, 147, 148, 150, 154

self-denial and self-hatred, 116, 118, 165, 169, 201

self-harm, 22

senses, 122, 125

sensual and sensory pleasures, 107, 108, 116, 117, 118, 126–27

sexual abuse, 199–200

sexuality, 102, 104, 106, 107, 111

shame, 111, 129, 201

Shantideva, 47

Shaw, Miranda, 189

shining, 32, 33

sight, 132–33

Simile of the Mountain, 180–81

skandhas
, 10

solitude, 55, 208

“Song of the View, The” (Rolway Dorje), 204

Splinter of Rock Discourse, 134–36, 138, 139, 143

spy consciousness, 28, 88

stability, 73

, 189

Stolorow, Robert, 24, 55–56, 148–49, 191, 200, 208

Styron, William, 14

suffering (
dukkha
), 5, 10, 12–13, 18, 22, 30, 36, 65, 79, 103, 160, 184, 193, 196, 198, 199, 203–5

suicide, 1, 30

Sujata, 118–19, 159

Suzuki, D. T., 4

Talmud, 93

Thurman, Robert, 95

Tibetan Buddhism, 21, 28, 68, 88, 129, 177, 193–94, 203

“tolerable,” world as, 21

transference, 147

trauma, 1–4, 11–18, 20, 21, 38–39

and absolutisms of daily life, 54–57

as basic fact of life, 196, 199, 201, 205

Buddha and, 35–37, 56–57, 65–66

derealization and, 124–25

developmental, 3–4, 23–26, 27, 43, 65, 72, 125, 135–36, 148, 149, 169, 197, 209

dissociation and, 64–84, 86, 148, 150

dreams and, 94

estrangement and solitude created by, 55

fires of, 35, 36

mantra and, 201–2

memory and, 148, 153

mindfulness and, 149, 198

posttraumatic stress disorder, 150, 157

relational home and, 196–211

time and, 148–49

unresolved, 147

Trauma and Human Existence
(Stolorow), 200

Turkle, Sherry, 117–18

unbearable embeddedness of being, 191

unconscious, 87, 121, 128, 129, 159, 162

unknown boundless presence/support, 171, 173, 177, 188, 202, 208

Upaka, 20–21, 22, 23, 33

verbal/reflective knowing, 170

war veteran, 174–76, 200–201

What’s Wrong, Little Pookie?
(Boynton), 23–24

Winnicott, D. W., 29–31, 43, 74–77, 109–12, 114, 116, 120, 125, 135, 136, 138–40, 142, 151–53, 155–58, 165, 178, 198, 202, 209–11

“The Tree,” 209–11

wisdom, 193, 194

Yasa, 100–107, 110, 111, 118, 123

yoga, 107–8

Yun Men, 207, 208, 209

Zen Buddhism, 8, 81, 207

*
, or
, the capital of the kingdom of Kosala, ruled by King Pasenadi, was one of the six largest cities of India in the Buddha’s time; the Buddha spent a great deal of his monastic life there, primarily at the Jetavana monastery, whose ruins can still be found.

*
One of the highest god realms of the Buddhist cosmology.

*
“Sakalika Sutta,” SN1.38 in the “Sa
m∙
yutta
” (“The Connected Discourses of the Buddha”)

*
An.guttara
(Book of Gradual Sayings)