The Trade (10 page)

“
Thanks Ted.”

Twenty minutes later the waitress worked back
to his table to find Jay looking at his watch and anxiously
scanning the arriving faces. His drink was gone, so was his snack,
and so was Ted, who had already hooked up with a flirty middle-aged
woman.

"Gimme a beer,” he ordered. "Say, did you see
a pretty Latin girl before I got here? Maybe she was looking for
me?" he asked.

"No,” she answered. Girl date, the waitress
said to herself. She hurried with the beer and flashed him a smile
and leaned over so he could see her tits as she set down the beer.
‘You never know’, she thought.

One hour and two beers later it became clear
to Jay that Maria wasn't coming. Then he realized he knew neither
her last name, nor her phone number, nor her address.
Almost
like Tonia,
he realized.
These New Yorkers just use you up
and spit you out
, he thought. Disappointed, but not willing to
give up on her, he ordered a pizza for dinner and another beer and
ate by himself. The waitress kept coming over, and by the time he
was done, she'd arranged to finish her shift early. There was
little business on a Monday night anyway.

"I'm off work now,” she announced. "Do you
want me to give you a lift somewhere?" she asked.

"What?" he asked.

"You look a little down, I thought you might
want a lift or something,” she said with demure sleaziness. Jay
couldn't believe it.

I must be the last straight, single,
employed guy in New York City or something
, he thought.

"Thanks. But no,” he answered.

"Wonder how long it’ll take him to forget
her?" the one said. Rock beat scissors, and rock went to sleep for
the first half of the shift.

The rest of the week went quickly for Jay.
Working and jogging and watching baseball on the tube waiting for
Maria to call. She never did. Friday night he went to the happy
hour with the gang. He kept looking for Maria in the crowd but
didn't see her. He left early, complaining of a cold. Truth be told
he was lonely and the crowd and noise only made it worse. He didn't
want any more one nighters. When Jay got back to his apartment he
checked his answering machine. There was a rambling message from
his mother. Once again she was cut off mid word. She'd never
realized that she only had a minute to leave her message. Jay
picked up the phone to call her back.

"Hi mom.”

"Hi.”

"How you doin'?" he asked.

"Okay,” she answered. "Did you get my
message?" she asked.

"Part of it. Something must be wrong with my
machine,” he lied. After trying to explain it to her three times,
he'd given up.
Thank God you can't burn down the house with a
microwave
, he thought. He loved her, but his mother was
dangerous around the new appliances of the eighties and
nineties.

"So you've got some news for me?" he asked,
expecting the latest cousin news or gossip from the coffee
stop.

"Yes baby. A girl. A very nice girl I might
add, phoned looking for you. Her name was, I wrote it down here, it
was Tonia Taggert and she said something about baseball, I'm not
sure what.” Jay's heart skipped a beat. Tonia Taggert had
called?

He couldn't believe it. He couldn’t believe
she’d kept the number he’d slipped into her hand on their only
date.

"Did she leave a number?" he asked.

"No but she said she'd try you in New York
City. I gave her your number, I hope that's alright?" she asked.
Jay was both pleased and upset. Ecstatic that Tonia Taggert had
called but angry that his mother had given out his number.
What
if I had taken the CIA job,
he wondered.

They chit chatted some more and then said
their good-byes. Jay danced around the room in his home run trot,
giving high fives to all his imaginary teammates. He settled in to
wait by the phone, for Tonia, not for Maria. Hours later she still
hadn't called and he drifted off to sleep on the couch after the
last west coast game on ESPN ended.

In Jay's dream the phone was ringing.

"Hello,” Jay mumbled in response to the
ringing phone. It rang again. "Hello?" he said louder. The next
ring pulled him awake. His back hurt from sleeping on the couch and
the TV was babbling some much too energetic aerobics. He picked up
the phone.

"Hello?" Jay said.

"Hi. Jay?”

"Yeah,” he answered, not recognizing the
voice.

"Hi. It's Tonia. Tonia Taggert. Remember?”
Jay's eyes flew open wide. The morning light was way too bright for
his eyes. Jay squinted in pain.
It's her. It's really her
,
Jay thought. He sat up straight on the couch, his back cracking and
popping with the sudden movement.

"Tonia. Tonia from the baseball game?" he
asked. Jay was trying to sound nonchalant. Though his heart was
racing and his mind was flying back to his few joyous hours with
her, he struggled to control his voice, to not sound too anxious,
too urgent. He didn't want to frighten her away.

"Yes silly. Tonia from the baseball game,”
she answered.

"So. What's up?" Jay asked.

"Well. I got your number from your mom, what
a sweetheart, and I thought I'd give you a call. See if you wanted
to catch a ball game, go for a run, or something?"

"That sounds good,” he answered. "Did you
have a particular game in mind or were you just asking in general?”
There was a hint of studied indifference in his voice.

"Well,” there was a pause, "there's a game
tonight, if you're not doing anything?" she ventured. Jay couldn't
believe it. Not a word from the gorgeous woman in months. Not a
card, letter, or call, and now she wanted to go out with him. What
happened to “I can’t,” he wondered.
What makes her think I don't
already have a date
Jay wondered in self-defense.

Then Jay thought back to their embrace in
Central Park. The distant look in her eyes. The secretive way she'd
said "I can't.” He was torn between his desire to see her and
rescue her from whatever terrible thing was harming her and a
sudden fearful feeling about Tonia Taggert and more pain. In an
instant Jay made up his mind.

"Sounds great,” he said. "I live in Battery
Park City now. Do you want to meet here or have me pick you up or
what?" he asked.

"I'll pick you up at six,” Tonia said. "Don't
be late.”

Chapter

Jay was downstairs waiting at 5:45, fifteen
minutes early, dressed in pressed blue jeans, a blue and white GAP
shirt and a white V neck sweater with blue trim. His brand new high
top Nikes gleamed white. Jay looked exactly like what he was. A
young, upwardly mobile, heterosexual professional ready to meet his
date and hoping to get a kiss goodnight and another date.

At exactly six, Tonia pulled up in a white
BMW convertible with the top down. Her long blonde hair was pulled
back in a pony tail. Baby blue sunglasses shielded her eyes from
the sun's rays reflecting off the Hudson. Jay stepped lively out of
the apartment building and she slid over to let him drive.

"Hi,” he said, trying to sound as if
beautiful young women pulled up in $50,000 cars to take him out
every night.

"Hi,” she answered.

"You'll have to give me directions,” he said.
"I haven't really learned my way around town much yet.”

"Okay,” she answered. The BMW slid onto West
St. The early evening traffic was light. Tonia guided Jay through
intersections, had him turn right at Canal Street and head uptown.
Jay didn't realize he was in the collector lanes for the Holland
tunnel. He thought he was headed to Yankee Stadium.

"I've never been to an American league game,”
Jay said.

"We're not going to Yankee stadium,” Tonia
answered.

"Then where are we going?" Jay asked.

"To the Reds game,” Tonia said
matter-of-factly.

"But they're playing in Philadelphia
tonight.”

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he answered. “And we’re in New York…”
He looked over at her and saw her mouth beginning to curl up at the
corners. She looked over, tipped her glasses forward off her lovely
face. Her blue eyes caught and reflected the early evening's
sunlight.

"Yeah they're playing in Philly. And yeah
we've got third row seats behind home and yeah the first pitch is
at 8:05 and yeah there's gonna be lots of traffic headed down the
shore so I suggest you click on the radar detector and get your ass
in gear son.” She sat back and lay her head on the rest.

Jay knew how to take orders. He found the
southbound turnpike and got it their speed up to eighty-five in a
hurry. People were still passing on both sides.

At 7:55, they pulled into Veteran's Stadium,
hurried to their seats and were just in time to see Chris Sabo lead
off the game with a home run. Jay was ecstatic. The drama and
mystery of the exotic woman seated beside him. The high speed run
down the turnpike. The novelty and excitement of the new stadium.
The Reds in front after just one pitch. The smile on his face went
from ear to ear.

"Do you want a beer?" she asked.

"No. I've gotta drive us home at warp factor
two. Remember?" he answered.

"Mind if I have one? Or two?” Her eyes lit on
his. Her smile was playful and warm. Like the soft summer breezes
filtering down into the stadium. Jay couldn't have denied her any
request at that moment.

By the seventh inning, the Reds were ahead
11-2. "Want to go now? Beat the traffic?" Jay asked. "We can listen
to the end of the game on the radio?"

"Okay,” she answered. They got up to go and
many pairs of jealous eyes watched the beautiful young woman lead
her date up the steps and out of the stadium.

Headed north on the Jersey turnpike, Jay and
Tonia caught the final out as the Reds hung on to win 11-7. Jay
switched the radio over to FM. Sweet Amy Grant music came drifting
out into the summer night air. Tonia pulled her hair out of the
pony tail and let it spill out over the seat, on to her shoulders.
It bathed in the moonlight. Jay kept stealing looks over at
her.

"Tonia?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for the game. It was great.”

"You're welcome,” Tonia answered.

Jay drove quietly for a minute. Tonia was
singing softly with the radio.

"Maybe we'll catch another one sometime?" Jay
ventured.

Tonia looked over at him. She shifted across
the front seat so that she was sitting close to him. She rested her
head on his shoulder and as she drifted off to sleep, she said, "I
think I'd like that.”

An hour later, Jay coasted to a stop in front
of his building. Tonia woke from the change in noise and
motion.

“
We're here,” Jay
announced. Tonia wiped the sleep from her eyes. She looked at Jay.
She looked like she didn't want to leave, didn't want the night to
end. Jay recognized the look in her eyes as loneliness, as the look
of someone who has nowhere else to go, nothing else to do, no-one
to love them or want them or even know they're alive. It was a look
he knew and understood.

"Maybe you want to come up and see my new
place?" Jay asked. "Just for a minute? Maybe have a coffee before
you drive home?” He didn't want to sound like he was coming on to
her. He'd seen her skittish and afraid in the park. He didn't want
her to bolt to God only knew where for another two months.

"That'd be nice,” Tonia said. They pulled her
car into the underground garage and rode the elevator up to his
apartment. With the computer equipment all over the living room,
there was barely room for them to sit down. Jay made a coffee for
her and cracked open a beer for himself.

"Hey that's not fair,” she said.

"You've got to drive home, remember?" he
said.

"I don't have to,” she teased, emphasizing
the 'have to'. Their eyes met. Tonia held his glance. She got up
and walked over to where Jay was sitting. Tonia sat down on his lap
and threw her arms around his neck. She looked straight into the
questioning blue of his eyes.

"We're not going to do it and we're not going
to fall in love. We can have a beer and watch a movie and fall
asleep together if you want? Okay? Maybe we can be friends.
Okay?"

She paused. She looked into his face. His
eyes were saying yes but she could see his mind was saying
wait.

"I've got nowhere else to go,” she added
softly.

"Okay,” Jay answered. And that's exactly what
happened. He felt ever so much closer to her knowing she wanted and
needed him to be her friend. Jay slept and woke and prayed he'd
never lose her again. That he could protect her from the demons
that seemed to haunt her and gnaw at her pursuit of happiness. He
cradled her head in his arms and stroked her flaxen hair while she
slept on and on in the gentle rays of the fresh new morning.

Sunday started with a leisurely brunch. The
two new friends chatted freely and with the ease of a couple long
in love. The tension of the mystery of her was gone today. They sat
and watched the baseball and later went for an intimate walk by the
Hudson, ending up in the Village. By the end of the day Jay and
Tonia had shared dreams and prayers, hopes and jokes. Fast friends
became even faster friends. Jay was falling in love.

They were beating back by sheer force of will
the loneliness of being smart and skilled and single after the
social days of college are gone and the frantic desperate futility
of the singles scene has left you empty and the idea of another
Monday of "have-you-met-anybody" or another call from home
wondering if you are bringing anyone special to your cousin's
wedding makes you know that you might live forever alone, waking up
cold in the morning and feeling colder still as solitary bare feet
tread across the frigid tile of the bathroom floor whose door you
are in the habit of leaving open because there's no-one to see you
in it.