The Touch of a Woman (17 page)

Behind Rupert were rows of wooden bowls and sculptures. “Oh my gosh, did you make these? They’re gorgeous.” She picked up a polished basket of several grains of wood woven in an intricate pattern.

“You have great taste, young lady. That’s one of my favorites.”

“It’s stunning. Look at this detail.”

“And now it’s yours.”

“Oh, I couldn’t.” She’d already noticed his groupings, and the nearest placard read
$400 and up
. She wanted to buy something to show her appreciation for his work, but had no business looking at something so expensive. A small table clock caught her eye, and on a shelf that said forty dollars. “This…this is beautiful, but I insist on paying for it.”

Rupert looked at Summer and tipped his head. “Tell her.” Then he went about wrapping the basket with paper and tape.

“You’re getting the basket. There’s no point in arguing. He’s giving it to you because you recognized what a special piece it was.”

“And I’m giving you something too,” Rosemary stated as she scanned her array of crystals and stones. “I just don’t know what yet. Have a seat.”

Ellis perched on a stool beside the table, noticing a display of pamphlets for each astrology sign. Sure enough, Rosemary asked her birthday, and if she had any idea of her traits as a Taurus.

“They say bulls are stubborn. I don’t know about that, but I’m loyal.”

“Could be you’re loyal because you’re too stubborn to let go. Let me have your hand, dear.”

Summer flashed her a smile and drew closer to hear the assessment.

With her eyes closed, Rosemary caressed her fingers. “I find you resistant to change…maybe because you fear the unknown. Does that sound familiar?”

Resigned to change was more like it, she thought. “I don’t always embrace it if that’s what you mean. But it’s inevitable sometimes, so eventually I accept it.”

“You’re generous. You think more of others than you do yourself.”

That certainly was true as far as her children were concerned.

“And you’re a very passionate lover.”

Ellis’s jaw dropped before she broke into a smile. She was by no means a prude, but having her sexuality openly proclaimed caught her off guard—especially when she noticed Summer’s blush. Probably embarrassed by her mother’s candor.

Rosemary ran her hand through a tray of stones, settling on a brown one with deep green streaks. “You need the boulder opal. Hold it here to your chest. That’s your Anahata.”

“Your heart chakra,” Summer explained.

The oval stone was smooth, and though it felt cold at first, it warmed in only seconds. “Is this going to harden my heart?” she asked, only half joking.

“Just the opposite,” Rosemary explained. “The opal gives off subtle vibrations that communicate with your chakra. Held to your Anahata, it enhances your emotional equilibrium. Keeps you from becoming too…too anything. It also fuels your passion, but that’s thought to be a side effect of emotional stability.”

“It’s just what I need. Seriously.” The last word she offered almost tongue-in-cheek.
“So how am I supposed to use this?”

Rosemary reached inside her sweater to what could only have been her bra, and produced a shiny green stone with deep red splotches. “You keep it close to your heart. I bet you could find a jeweler here who could whip it into a necklace if you wanted to wear it that way. I use this unakite whenever we do a show because it sharpens my mental senses…helps me see what others need. But when we’re in the car I use the kunzite—it’s good for circulation.”

Ellis’s fitted shirt had a chest pocket. “Could I just drop it in here?”

“That’ll work,” Summer said. Then to her mother, she added, “Her eyes are glazing over, Mama. She’s a first-timer, you know. You don’t want to give her too much too soon.”

“I’m done for now. Except…” She swept her hand again across the tray, this time presenting her with a flat blue-green stone the size of quarter. “Take this one too.”

“A turquoise?”

“It’s called a chrysocolla.” She folded it into Ellis’s hand and pressed it to her chest. “For when you find yourself remembering painful things.”

Suddenly it felt like an ambush. She swung her head toward Summer, who was rapidly shaking her head, her wide-eyed look proclaiming her surprise as well.

“Mama, we’re kind of hungry. There’s a taco truck outside. You want us to bring you something?”

The whole exchange had seemingly flown over Rupert’s head. He pulled his wallet from his hip pocket and passed his daughter a few bills.

Ellis slid off the stool and started toward the exit on her own.

* * *

The way Ellis was marching, Summer fully expected her to turn for the car as soon as they stepped outside. “I swear to God, Ellis. I never said a word to her. Or to anybody. I was as shocked as you were.”

“How could she have known that? Do I have it stamped on my forehead?”

“All I can tell you is she’s like that. Scares the hell out of me sometimes. I never got away with anything my whole life. It’s almost like she knew about it even before I did it.”

Ellis slowed, eventually turning toward an open picnic table. The bright sun had brought the temperature up enough to make sitting outside bearable. “Tell me the truth—is there anything to all that crystal and chakra business? I never knew anyone who took that stuff seriously.” The edge in her voice was gone.

“Do they help? Between us, probably not…at least not the way Mama thinks they do. But it could be there’s a placebo effect.” She pointed to the pocket where Ellis had dropped the opal. “As long as you know that’s in there, you might stop and think about what it means to have emotional equilibrium. Focusing on it could make you feel like it’s helping.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

“I carried a green tourmaline for a long time. It’s supposed to help you feel compassion. I thought if I could understand why Rita had so much trouble saying no to alcohol, I’d be able to help her.” She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a dark brown stone with rivulets of gold and black. “But then I started carrying a tiger eye. It’s good for your willpower. I used it to quit Rita.”

Ellis took it and rubbed the smooth surface with her thumb. “And you still need it?”

After spending part of Christmas Day with Rita—and for the first time not getting into a quarrel—she was starting to feel they’d turned a corner, just as Queenie and Sam had surmised. “Let’s just say I’m hedging my bets.”

“I don’t suppose there’s one of these for money?”

Summer smiled with relief at hearing Ellis’s lighter tone. “There’s one for everything. But watch out for Mama. She’ll send you out of here with so many stones, you’ll need a wheelbarrow to carry them all. And whatever you do, don’t get her started on aromatherapy. She’ll have you bathing in grapefruit and sandalwood.”

“I like sandalwood incense. I’m afraid to ask what that says about me.”

“Actually…it’s sometimes prescribed for people who have difficulty with sexual arousal. And I did not just make that up.”

Ellis laughed. “I guess that explains why I’m such a passionate lover.”

Just what Summer needed—more mental images of Ellis making love.

Christmas Day had been a reality check, a demonstration of how different they were in myriad ways. She could lay it on as thick as she wanted, but it wasn’t going to change Ellis into a woman who liked women. The most she might ever hope for was a fling, something Ellis might yield to in order to satisfy her curiosity. That wasn’t enough. In fact, she’d rather not cross that line if it meant sharing something special—then losing it.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon passed pleasantly for Ellis as she and Summer sat in a pair of lawn chairs watching the Winslows share their wares with fairgrounds visitors. Both were obviously devoted to their respective crafts, and they were better than average salespeople.

As she listened to Rosemary interact with potential customers, she began to believe the woman’s insight came from an extraordinary sense of empathy. It made perfect sense that someone self-trained in reading people’s emotions could deduce she was dealing with trauma in her life. Most days she could see it staring back at her from the mirror.

When the time came to head back to Sacramento, she enthusiastically accepted the Winslow’s invitation to see them again the next time they came to a nearby fair. Allison would probably enjoy learning about stones and chakra.

“I have to admit I nearly cracked up when your mom said Tarot reading was bunk.”

“I know. She doesn’t get the irony at all.” Summer had lowered the driver’s side window a smidgen, causing her wavy hair to blow forward all around her face.
“Thanks for indulging her. Daddy and I have learned over the years just to nod along.”

Ellis couldn’t resist reaching over to brush the hair out of her eyes. “She’s interesting. And she’s right, you know. My emotional equilibrium can use all the help it can get.”

After fourteen months, she still awakened some days feeling the brunt of the tragedy, wishing she could go back in time just for a day to ask the questions that might have led her to discover Bruce’s fragile mental state. Why hadn’t she noticed he’d stopped wanting to socialize with people from his office? That he never talked about his coworkers? That he’d put a padlock on the tool cabinet in the garage after years of leaving it unguarded?

And then other days she celebrated the ways she’d recovered her life and taken charge. An interesting job in a new city. An apartment all her own. Summer, who made her feel it was okay to have fun again, okay to care about someone. And then there was the tantalizing undercurrent to their relationship.

“It won’t hurt my feelings if you put your stones in a drawer. I won’t tell Mama.”

“No, I like what you said about hedging your bets. There’s no harm in carrying them.”

Now that she’d admitted to herself—and to her son—that she was intrigued by Summer’s overtures, she’d been watching for more. Compliments, innuendos. Anything that continued their flirtations of a week ago. Nothing…which she found disappointing.

Had she read it wrong? Perhaps what Summer had meant was that lesbians
in general
would find her attractive. It could have been she thought Ellis needed an ego boost and it was her job as a friend to provide it.

Whatever the reason, she was almost aloof, leaving Ellis embarrassed by her assumptions. She’d have to straighten things out with Jeremy, chalk it up to second thoughts. Thank goodness she hadn’t told anyone else. Now she just needed to let Summer know she hadn’t taken her seriously.

“Maybe your mother’s stones will spark something for Rex Brenneman. Nothing else seems to.”

She could have sworn she heard Summer blow out a breath of disgust. “Have you heard any more from him?”

“He comes through the office and says hi. It’s possible he thinks the ball’s in my court. Maybe it is.”

Summer drove in silence for several minutes, staring intently at the road ahead. Finally she said, “You know, if it isn’t happening with Rex after this long, maybe there’s nothing there. You shouldn’t feel like you have to force the issue.”

She had a point. Rex didn’t have to be the default position if Summer wasn’t interested in a relationship. There were other possibilities—men she hadn’t yet met—including no one at all. It wasn’t as if she were itching to get back into the game.

“Got any plans for next Friday?” Summer asked.

“Not yet. What do you have in mind?”

“You said you missed the culture in San Francisco. How about we go see
Swan Lake
at the Community Center Theater?”

“The ballet?” Of course the ballet. “Are you kidding? I’d love to.”

“Good, since I already bought the tickets online. Front row balcony. I figured we could see everything from there.”

“Perfect! How much were they?” She’d float her groceries on a credit card if she had to.

“My treat. You had me over for Christmas dinner.”

“That’s not a fair trade…unless your family comes out on stage and gets into a wrestling match.”

“It wasn’t that bad. Besides, your kids are practically still teenagers. I didn’t expect them to behave like diplomats.”

“You’re being generous.” She’d scolded both Allison and Jeremy and vowed to do the same with Jonathan. “But one dinner isn’t enough. You have to let me do something else.”

“Okay.” Summer drew an enormous breath and blew it out, not taking her eyes from the road. “How about wearing that black dress again? The one you wore when you went out with Rex.”

* * *

Ellis sank lower into her warm tub, inhaling the zesty aroma of the grapefruit essence Rosemary had given her to add to her bath. There were worse things than believing in the metaphysical benefits of essential oils.

Summer had vanquished all her doubts with her bold request that she wear her black dress again. No amount of playfulness would let either of them laugh it off now. The ballet would be their first date.

And the wildest part—Ellis found it tantalizing. What was it about Summer that had her questioning everything she thought she knew about herself? A woman asking her out on a date. Her response should have been a lighthearted laugh, a demure thank you and a polite decline. Yet she’d been practically begging her to ask. Years ago a dalliance like this would have been scandalous, but who would bat an eye today if she got involved with another woman?

Allison and Jonathan, for starters. They could freak out and try some kind of intervention. Therapy, anti-depressants. Involuntary commitment to a psychiatric hospital.

Now she was just being melodramatic. They might not care at all. Maybe they’d even like handing their mother off so someone else would take care of her.

But why was she doing this if she wasn’t a lesbian? Or maybe the better question was why she found the idea of being with Summer so arousing. Maybe she was bisexual. The continuum.

No, it was a pendulum. People who were monogamous stayed in one place for a long time, but it didn’t define them. Sometimes they fell in love with someone who happened to be the same gender.

She abruptly lifted the plug on the tub and leapt out into the cool air, jolting her body almost as much as her mind when it heard her use the word “love.”