The Totally Sweet ’90s: From Clear Cola to Furby, and Grunge to “Whatever,” the Toys, Tastes, and Trends That Defined a Decade (27 page)

W
ell,
the planet had a good 4.5-billion-year run, but it was finally lights-out for Mother Earth. Thanks to the Y2K computer bug, life as we knew it was going to end exactly the way the Mayans predicted: at the hands of nerds.

Specifically, lazy code-writing nerds who let us get away with entering just two numerals to indicate a year, neglecting to account for what might happen when the millennium flipped over. Doomsayers predicted that when the clock ticked its last 1999 tock, computers would no longer understand what year it was, so they'd shut down. Planes would fall out of the sky. Nuclear missiles would launch. VCRs would flash 12:00. Party over—whoops, out of time.

Some people stocked up on food and water, hoarded cash, and barricaded themselves in bomb shelters and basements, watching Dick Clark count down to Armageddon. Others partied like it was 1999, and rang in the New Year as if it was their last hour on Earth, figuring they'd be able to better weather the collapse of society if they were really drunk.

So what happened? Nothing. The ball dropped, the computers figured it out, and the embarrassed people who overreacted spent the next year eating the three hundred cans of Dinty Moore Beef Stew they'd stashed in the cellar.

P
oor
Zima. Its maker, Coors, tried to ride the clear beverage wave of the early 1990s, but the one thing that wasn't clear was why you would buy the stuff. It wasn't beer. It wasn't wine. It wasn't a wine cooler. The massive $50-million advertising campaign didn't seem to know what it was either, desperately declaring, “It's Zomething different.”

Sure, if “Zomething” means it tastes like flat Sprite, or metallic gin and tonic. Coors wanted an audience of men, but the drink with the cute name and fashion-forward bottle caught on more with women instead. And not that many of them. Comic David Letterman helped seal Zima's doom with constant jabs, pitching it as the preferred drink of nutty senators, confused marathoners, and oddly, Santa.

Coors tried to rejigger the drink with fruity flavors but
Zomethings just can't be Zaved. Zima's short life and thoroughly bizarre concept earned it a permanent place in the hall of fame of only-in-the-'90s products. Call it the Big Mouth Billy Bass of booze.

I
n
the days before blogs, webpages, and Twitter feeds let everyone have their say, creative writers and editors who longed to be heard turned to the low-tech tools of good old-fashioned paper and scissors and created zines, small-circulation independent magazines.

For a reader, finding the zine that spoke to your own personal obsession wasn't as easy as pecking out a Google search. You might use
Factsheet 5
or other zine review publications to narrow down your choices, then pop a well-concealed buck or two into an SASE and wait for an individual zinester to mail you off a copy. Or you'd hit the smarter crop of comic-book and magazine stores, those that sold more than just
Batman
and
Better Homes and Gardens
, and raid the tiny stash of zines they propped on the bottom racks.

But once you had zine in hand and could kick back to enjoy, the hunt was worth it. Siblings Erin and Don Smith reveled in
Brady Bunch
nostalgia in the
Sassy
magazine–approved zine
Teenage Gang Debs. Giant Robot
celebrated Asian-American culture, from reviews of hot sauces to ruminations on Godzilla.
Infiltration
celebrated the underground world of sneaking into places where you're not supposed to go, such as storm drains and hotel pools.
Snackbar Confidential
mixed delightfully lurid drive-in theater ads from the 1970s with weirdly creepy photos of cereal mascots.

These were topics—and typos—that perhaps would never have made it past an assignment editor at a major newspaper or slick magazine. But reading them was pure joy, the print equivalent of stumbling upon a musical genius who never hit it big, but who made uncannily on-target music for those brave enough to seek it out.

B
etween
grungy flannels and Zubaz, you'd think everyone in the 1990s dressed like it was perennially Laundry Day.

Zubaz were created in 1998 by two Minnesota weightlifters who needed workout pants to fit their massive thighs. So they were pretty much tapered-leg sweatpants, but sweatpants that were born inside a whirring spin-paint machine. You could also buy the zebra-patterned pants in your school colors or those of your favorite sports team, which resulted in wearers walking around looking like they were dressed as packs of Fruit Stripe gum.

If you wore Zubaz and it wasn't because you needed them for that daily bench-press contest at the gym, you probably had given up on fashion about the time Nehru jackets went out of style. Sure, they were comfy, but to every female on the planet, they screamed, “Here is a man who does not care what he wears. And also might be legally blind.”

Thanks to all the people who contributed ideas, fun stuff to photograph, and other support, including:

The page numbers in this index refer to the printed version of this book. To find the corresponding locations in the text of this digital version, please use the “search” function on your e-reader. Note that not all terms may be searchable.

Page numbers in
italic
indicate photographs.

Aaron, Hank, 126

ABC, 63, 76, 146, 192

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
(movie), 106

“Achy Breaky Heart” (Cyrus), 121

Adventures of Pete & Pete, The
(TV show), 2–3

Aerosmith, 201, 214

Africa, 65

“After the Rain” (Nelson), 140

Agnew, Spiro, 115

Aguilera, Christina, 44, 184

Aladdin
(movie), 165

Albano, Captain Lou, 66

Alexander, Jason, 159

Algar, Garth (TV character), 213–14

Ali, Muhammad, 83

Alias
(TV show), 224

Alley, Kirstie, 146

Alleyway
(game), 82

All That
(TV show), 192

Amazing Race, The
(TV show), 37

Amazon, 63, 136

Amend, Bill, 74–75

American Apparel, 96

American Family, An
(TV show), 161

American Gangster
(movie), 52

American Gladiators
(TV show), 4–5

America's Funniest Home Videos
(TV show), ix, 3–4

Anders, Stuart, 178

Anderson, Pamela, 13

Andy Williams Show, The
(TV show), 162

Angel
(TV show), 36

Anheuser-Busch, 185

Aniston, Jennifer, 219

anti-piracy video, 57–58

AOL, 147, 148

AOL Radio, 122

Apple, 14, 119–21,
120

Arch Deluxe from McDonald's, 6–7

Ariel (Disney princess), 165

Armstrong, Lance, 186

Arquette, David, 172

Art Stuff by Bath & Body Works, 29

Ashby, Linden, 212

Asian bubble tea, 150

Astley, Rick, 157–58

AT&T, 93

Austin Powers
(movies), 144

Austin Stories
(TV show), 7–8

Autry, Gene, 49

Avatar
(movie), 75

Avengers, The
(movie), 36

Aykroyd, Dan, 92

B. Dalton, 148

“Baby Got Back” (Sir Mix-a-Lot), 8–9

Babylon 5
(TV show), 131

Baby-
Sitters Club
(Martin),
10
, 10–11

Baby (Spice Girl), 183,
184

Bachman's in Minneapolis, 55

Backstreet Boys, 30, 66

“Bad Idea Jeans” on
Saturday Night Live
(TV show), 92

“bag lady” fashion trend, 146

Bale, Christian, 142

Bananas in Pajamas
(TV show), 152

Banks, George (movie character), 69–70

Banquet, 109

Barbie, 63

Barney & Friends
(TV show), 11–12,
12

barrettes (little-kid), 174

Barrymore, Drew, 76

baseball cards, 209–10

“Bass-o-matic” on
Saturday Night Live
(TV show), 92

Bath & Body Works, 29

Battleship
(movie), 213

Battlestar Galactica
(TV show), 224

Bay, Michael, 87

Baywatch Hawaii
(TV show), 13

Baywatch Nights
(TV show), 14

Baywatch (TV show), 13–14

Bazooka, 164

Beach Boys, 89

Beanie Babies,
14
, 14–15, 31

Beatty, Warren, 213

Beauty and the Beast
(movie), 142, 165, 166

Beavis and
Butt-
Head
(TV show), 15–16, 138, 157

Bee Girl of Blind Melon's “No Rain” video, 16–17

“Bee Girl” (Pearl Jam), 17

Behind the Laughter
(TV show), 18

Behind the Music
(TV show), 18