The Tori Trilogy (5 page)

So on Wednesday night, I open my desk drawer and pull out three sheets of stationery. Unfortunately, I have only one kind of stationery--a Christmas present from a great-aunt, I think--and it's all different shades of pink with shoes and hats and purses all over it and says “Diva” in big sparkly letters at the top of each sheet. But, it will have to do.

On each piece of paper, I write a note.

Dear Nate,

Thank you for throwing that birthday party for Abuelito last year. It was a great idea. You were very thoughtful to come up with it. That restaurant was a perfect place for it because we all know how much Abuelito loves Peruvian food. He was very happy and I know he was proud of you because he kept calling you “mi hijo” and smiling at you as if you had given him a very special present. Thank you for making his birthday so wonderful. We all had a great time.

Love, Tori

Dear Ben,

Thank you for being such a thoughtful Secret Santa to Gina two Christmases ago. She was so happy that you bought her that stuffed reindeer instead of just giving her a gift card or money. In fact, she was just talking about it the other day, and it's been a long time, so it must have made an impression on her. Gifts from the heart are so much more special than money because they show that you really thought about what somebody might like. Thank you for doing that for Gina. She's my best friend, and I'm happy when she's happy.

Love, Tori

Dear Joey,

Thank you for taking Gina and me ice skating in January. We had such a great time. Remember how Gina kept falling down and pulling us with her? That was so funny! And thank you for buying us hot chocolate when we were all finished. That was the best hot chocolate I've ever tasted. We each drank three cups! And even when Gina and me offered to pay you back, you said it was okay and didn't let us. That was really nice of you. I just wanted to tell you that.

Love, Tori

After I reread the letters, I realize that I truly meant what I said in each one. If some stranger were to pick them up and read them, he or she might actually think I have some very nice brothers. I fold the three pieces of stationery neatly and slip them into equally ridiculous envelopes with big sparkly platform shoes printed in the lower left-hand corners. Then I tiptoe into the hallway and slide the letters under each of my brothers' bedroom doors. I have no idea if they're in their rooms or not, but either way, I'm not about to hang around and wait for their reactions.

Quickly and quietly, I steal back to my room and close the door behind me. Then I climb into bed and click off my lamp. As I snuggle down under my covers with my favorite stuffed dragon Starfire, I realize that I feel warm inside. No matter what happens in the morning, I know I've done something good.

To my surprise, I wake up before my alarm on Thursday, and have plenty of time to get ready at my own pace (especially since it's a little too early for Ben to be in the bathroom yet). I layer my green hoodie sweater over a purple tank top and wear them with my favorite jeans, the ones that have embroidered peace signs down the legs. I brush my hair and decide to let it hang loose. Then I slip my feet into my Converse and pick up my backpack. I stroll casually out of my room, through the hallway, and down the stairs.

Mom looks shocked to see me up this early. “Well, good morning, Tori,” she says. “Did you sleep well?”

“I slept great. That's probably why I'm awake already.”

“Good for you. What would you like for breakfast? Oatmeal? Cold cereal?”

But before I have a chance to answer, Joey bounds into the kitchen. “'Morning, Mom! ‘Morning, Gory--I mean, Tori!” He skids to a stop and studies me closely. “So, what was with that letter?”

“Letter?” Mom repeats, arching her eyebrows. “What letter?”

Neither of us answer her.

“I just felt like leaving it,” I say. “I don't think I ever thanked you for taking us skating that day.”

“Oh.” Joey continues to interrogate me with his eyes, as if he's sure I have some underhanded motive. “That's it?”

“That's it,” I repeat.

“Well...thanks for the letter,” Joey answers doubtfully.

“You're welcome.”

Mom's watching this whole exchange with a puzzled expression in her eyes. Before she can ask again, though, Ben bursts into the kitchen, still wearing his p.j. pants and the sweatshirt he sleeps in.

“Tori! I found a note from you under my door last night. What's that all about?”

I take a seat at the table. “I just wanted to thank you.”

“For giving Gina a reindeer two years ago?”

“Excuse me?” asks Mom. I feel a little bad for her since none of us seems to be up to explaining at the moment.

“Well, yes,” I tell Ben. “And not only that, but the fact that she still talks about it. I mean, it's a nice memory she has of you. And I thought it might make you feel good to know that.”

Ben's eyes pop open wide and he shakes his head, a low whistle escaping on his breath. I can tell he's just as curious and suspicious as Joey.

“Really,” I assure him. “That's all there is to it.”

“I got a note, too,” Joey informs Ben. “To thank me for taking the squirts ice skating last January.”

“You got a note?” Ben drops into the chair across from mine. “So, what about Nate? Did he get one too?”

I'd forgotten that I wouldn't witness Nate's reaction this morning, since he's been up and out of the house for an hour already. “Yes,” I say. “Nate got one too.”

Mom looks at me, as though she's fitting the pieces of a puzzle together inside her mind. “Last night,” she says slowly, “you left your brothers thank-you notes.”

“Really random thank-you notes!” Joey puts in.

“Are you sure you're feeling, okay, Tori?” asks Ben. “Or is this part of some elaborate practical joke to get us back for being your annoying big brothers?”

I shake my head no. “I promise, it's not.”

“Then why...?” Joey trails.

Mom looks from him to Ben. “Maybe what you see is what you get in this case. Maybe Tori really is saying thank you. Can you swallow that?”

My brothers stare at Mom, and then at me. All through breakfast, they don't insult me once.

At dinner that night, I get the same disbelieving reaction from Nate. “I mean, Abuelito's birthday party!” he cries. “That was last year, Tori. What made you all of a sudden decide to thank me for that brilliant idea I had?” Even when he's in the middle of trying to puzzle something out, he still manages to get a few words in about what a wonder he is.

“I'm just saying thank you,” I insist. I'm almost sick of defending myself over those notes. “Why can't any of you guys just accept that?”

“But, I guess,” says Ben, “what we want to know is why? Why did you even bother to thank us?”

Dad looks over at Mom. “What are they talking about, Susan?”

Mom shakes her head. “I'll fill you in later.”

“Why?” I repeat Ben's question. “I bothered to thank you because...because, well, maybe because I'm trying to be a nicer sister. To all of you.” It takes a lot for me to say this. I hope they don't think I've gone and turned into some cornball now.

But Ben's eyes soften. “That really is why, isn't it?” he asks after a moment of pause.

“You've gotta be kidding!” exclaims Joey. “She's totally gotta have some motive. Why would you want to be nice to us, Tori?” Leave it to him to destroy whatever I might have begun to accomplish.

A flicker of doubt crosses Ben's face.

And then I notice that Nate is biting back laughter.

“Because you're my brothers!” I shout at them. “That's why! If that's not enough of an excuse, then I don't know what is!” I stand up from the table and scrape back my chair on the hard wood floor, anger bubbling within me. “I guess I just started to see that maybe...maybe I love you guys. But it doesn't matter, and I know that for sure now. You've never loved me! You never will! I'm sorry you ever had to have a little sister to get in your way!” That said, I storm out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I don't stop running till I get to my room and throw myself down on my bed.

Then I burst into a river of wild tears, tears of sadness and fury and confusion. There is no way on earth that I can write that “family brag paper” now. Dumb assignment! Dumb Mr. London! I'll just fail fifth grade and see who cares!

Of course, Mom and Dad both come into my room that evening, at different times, to see how I'm doing. I'm not in any mood to talk. They try to assure me that my brothers really do love me. I'll believe
that
when I see it.

Chapter Six

Friday is the day before Halloween, and my friends are all excited when we talk at lunch. I listen numbly as Gina describes our costumes, in great detail, to Emily and Shannon. I try to share her enthusiasm, but I just can't do it. Being gypsies seems so stupid now compared to other, more important things.

At home, I avoid my brothers, and it seems to me that they avoid me, too. Conversations are awkward, and I'm happy when dinner is finally over. There's nothing worse than sitting around the table with a bunch of people you'd rather not face.

That night, Nate goes out with friends, and Ben and Jaine double-date with a couple from school for a haunted house tour in a nearby town. Joey invites a few friends to our house to carve pumpkins and watch scary movies. Mom suggests that I call up Gina and ask her over so she and I can join in the fun. But I'm not in the mood. Instead, I go to bed early and lie in the dark, alone with my gloomy thoughts, till I finally fall asleep.

But Saturday is really the last straw. Or maybe I should say, the last of the last straws!

I wake up sick! I repeat, sick. Sore throat, stuffy nose, red-rimmed eyes, and a fever. Every muscle in my body aches, and all I feel like doing--all I can do--is just lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, with Ebony down at the bottom of the mattress, keeping my feet warm as she sleeps.

Mom tells me that she's pretty sure I've got the flu that's been going around, and that, of course, I won't be able to go trick-or-treating tonight.

At first, I really don't care. But after I wake up from an early-afternoon nap and look out my window into the golden fall sunlight, to the almost-bare trees and the neat piles of leaves in our big yard, I begin to feel a little sorry. It's perfect outside, crisp and beautiful Halloween weather. My friends are all getting ready to go trick-or-treating in a few hours. And I'm going to miss out.

Not only that, but I won't be wearing my beautiful gypsy costume! I won't be able to “become” someone mysterious and exotic with golden jewelry and full, colored skirts. I won't be able to share in the fun of dressing up like Gina. Or spending time with her, either.

And then, in spite of myself, I begin to cry. It isn't fair. Being gypsies was my idea, and now I don't even get to participate!

Since I've started crying, it seems I just can't stop. I cry and I cry, my sobs muffled by Starfire's well-worn tummy, until I cry myself back to sleep.

When I wake up again, it's already dark outside and Ebony is nowhere to be seen. I bolt upright on the mattress, turn on my lamp, and check my clock. It's after seven P.M. I've slept through the whole day, through trick-or-treaters ringing the doorbell and everything! (But then again, not a lot of kids trick-or-treat in the unincorporated areas.)

On my bed table, there is a mug of tea with lemon that must be cold by now, and a plate of lightly-buttered white bread toast with a napkin wedged beneath it. I look more closely at the napkin and realize that Mom tried her best to shape it into a bunny rabbit by following the steps in my origami book. I have to smile at that.

On the bunny's ears, she wrote:

Didn't want to wake you! If it's cold when you get up, I'll make you more. Feel better! Love, Mom xoxoxo

As a matter of fact, I do feel a little better after all that rest. I try a sip of the tea and make a face. It's definitely been sitting out for awhile. The toast must be cold too.

With a sigh, I stretch my legs over the edge of my bed and stand up. My ankles feel weak and wobbly as I walk to the door to go use the bathroom. That's when I notice three rectangles of folded notebook paper lying just in front of my door.

Startled, I sit on the carpet and unfold the first one. It's a letter! I read:

Dear Tori,

I'm so sorry you're sick today. I know how much you were looking forward to dressing up in your gypsy costume and going trick-or-treating with Gina. It really bites when things don't go the way you've planned. I also want to let you know that I was wrong for laughing at the note you left me. The truth is, I was laughing because I didn't know what else to do. I was really surprised...and yes, even touched...by what you had to say. I'm sorry that you don't always feel loved by your big bros. We may be obnoxious pests, but please know that I'm speaking for all of us when I say, nothing would be the same without you, Tori. I'm lucky to have you for a sister.

Always, Nate

I'm so surprised I can barely move or breathe. Without thinking, I reach for the next rectangle of paper. It's also a letter.

Dear Tori,

Today I wish that I were sick instead of you. No one who has worked so hard and been so excited about her costume deserves to stay in on Halloween! in fact, after Mom called Gina to tell her you couldn't trick-or-treat tonight, I called her back and asked her if she wouldn't mind dressing up like something else so the two of you could be gypsies together next year. She said she was already on top of that, but hey, it's the thought that counts, right? Either way, Gina's going as a cockatiel tonight! (wasn't that her costume from last year?) I'm sorry about doubting the notes you left us, Tori. And I hope you don't really think we don't love you. the truth is, I love you very much (so do Nate and Joey!), and I'm sorry for not always showing it. Try to have a happy Halloween!