The Three Rs (34 page)

I meet his eyes confidently now, a small but significant wisp of pride forming, taking root. I have good news on this matter and I’ve been dying to tell someone. It’s so rare I have anything to boast about. “It’s gone well. Very well, actually. Sally’s a literacy teacher, she knew how to help me. She’d been on at me for ages and I should have taken her up on her offer years ago. I don’t know why I didn’t.”

He puts his cup of wine on the table, and with both palms frames my face. His smile is sexy, sensual, and I detect there the admiration I’ve been craving. “Maybe the time wasn’t right for you before. And now it is. Now you have a reason, a use for it. Well, I hope you do. Was it me? Us? The business? What was it that spurred you on to do this now?”

I shrug as my wisp of pride curls seductively around, growing and swelling as for the first time I can lay claim to actually having achieved something, made a plan, set myself a goal and gone out and got it. “I suppose it was. All that. And—I’d had enough. Enough of being left out, feeling excluded, enough of hiding and lying and covering up. I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to be someone you could be proud of, not a liability.”

“I was proud of you. I’m even more proud now. Now, I’m in awe. Can you forgive me?”

I glance up, meet his steady gaze—his eyes now warm and hinting at more heat to come. But I have no idea what he can mean. “Forgive you? What do you need forgiving for?”

“For being so dim I never realized something was wrong. You had me completely fooled, love. Looking back, I can see the clues were there. That night you went to bed with a headache rather than helping me with a tender? Was that one of your coping strategies?”

I nod. “More a defense mechanism than a coping strategy, but yes. I felt so guilty, lying to you like that.”

“And when we went to the site in Morpeth and you pretended to read the health and safety notice before we went in? You
were
pretending, weren’t you?”

Again I nod.

He shakes his head, his grin wry. “Christ, that was so dangerous. You need to know that stuff before you go on a building site. You were an accident waiting to happen, I shudder to think what the HSE will do if they ever hear about that. Thank God I kitted you out with steel toe-caps and a hard hat. At least that bit was taken care of. And that business over the sketch of the JCB, when I asked you to draw a sign with our company name on? You were so shirty about it. Was that somehow part of this too?”

I nod again. “It was. I couldn’t remember what the words looked like to draw it from memory. And back at the office, when I copied it, I was so nervous, terrified of making a silly mistake, of being found out.”

“You cried, as I recall.”

“I was just so relieved by then to get it right. Nervous tension, I suppose.”

“And Mrs Henderson?”

“I feel so embarrassed about that. What a stupid mistake to make. And I lost us all that money.”

“Not as it turned out, eventually. And I should have realized when I looked at your notes. All those bloody pictures, for Christ’s sake. But the numbers were correct, and I just thought the art was sort of you—quirky. I knew how much you loved drawing so it didn’t strike me as that odd at the time.”

“I was so concerned with getting the numbers right I never even gave a thought to what they represented.”

“I can see that now. It all makes sense now. And I was such a bastard to you. Especially over you taking that week off to come here, but before that too. Browbeating you into working in the office. You said often enough that you didn’t want to…”

“You weren’t to know. I made sure of that.”

He steps back, widening the space between us. I see the shift, subtle but unmistakable, from tender lover to stern Dom. They are all part of the same complex, exciting package, but it’s clear which is in the ascendancy now. My stomach clenches, and already my pussy is dampening in response.

“It scares me what a good liar you are. And that has to stop. Now. Here. And it goes without saying, there’s a penalty to be paid.” His tone is shot through with authority. With a promise of retribution soon to be delivered, firm and sharp and painful. The rational part of my brain is telling me to be wary, to back away. But the slutty submissive in me is relishing all of this, and the wetness in my pants increases as I imagine the sharp slap of his palm against my bare bottom. Please. Soon

“Yes, I know.” My cunt is now thoroughly wet in anticipation. He must know, must be able to tell.

“You’re ready then? You’ll bend over, now and present that sweet arse of yours for the spanking you’ve so richly deserved?”

“Yes. Sir.”

His curt nod is the only acknowledgment he offers. It’s enough though. He continues, his voice cool, the words clipped, “Then, I want you to come back with me. To Berwick, to my house. You’ll live with me, as my submissive. Is that what you want too? Would you do that, Abbie?”

I don’t hesitate. “Yes. I’d like that. Sir.” My voice is a whisper now, a breathy sigh of acceptance, of relief.

He smiles, and despite his Dom persona which does not slip so much as a fraction, the smile is warm and reaches his eyes. “Good. I wasn’t sure you’d feel able to agree, at least not at once. Particularly after everything I said to you, after everything that’s happened. I thought you might require a little more—persuading.”

He regards me for a few moments. “I’m going to want you naked, Abbie. Very soon. And from the way your nipples are swelling under that blouse, I suspect that’s what you want too. Am I right?” By way of illustrating his point he reaches for my left nipple, rubs the pad of his thumb firmly over the hardening peak.

I close my eyes, loving the sensuous caress at the same time as I’m anticipating the sharp pain to surely come as he squeezes or twists. I see no point in denying how he makes me feel. “Yes, Sir. But—I’m expecting someone.”

“I know. The someone you thought you were letting in when I arrived. I can see we’ll need to be sociable but first, I have more questions. First, we talk?”

His hand drops from my breast, and I manage to bite back my groan of disappointment. I know better than to protest though. If Cain in Dom mode says we’re going to talk, then that’s what will be happening. He pulls out one of my dining chairs and gestures for me to sit, then takes the other chair facing me. He reaches for my hand across the table top, the wine now abandoned by both of us. His expression softens, though only slightly. It’s enough though for me to glimpse the tender lover again. This is the Cain who wants to understand me, who cares and wants to help. The Cain I can tell anything to.

“I want, need to understand how this all happened. You’re talented, bright. So bright you fucking dazzle me. And I’m guessing you’re not dyslexic as you’ve made enough progress to tackle
Harry Potter
in the space of a month. So…?”

He raises one commanding eyebrow, then simply waits. He’s silent, not pressing me. I can take my time. I draw in a deep breath, study our linked hands for a few seconds. Then I raise my eyes to meet his, and start to tell my story.

“I was ill. When I was a child. Leukemia.”

I’m aware of his slight hiss of surprise. The Big L. Serious stuff, then and now. Having started, I rush on with my explanation, “I was in and out of hospital for two years. I hardly ever went to school. I was too ill to get much out of the home tuition they tried to provide, both from my school and from Jimmy’s where I spent most of my time.”

“Jimmy’s?”

“St James’ Hospital, in Leeds. The regional center for childhood leukemia. Getting well was the priority, the only priority. I managed to do that, with a little help from the staff at Jimmy’s, obviously, but by then the damage was done. I was so far behind the rest of my class I just gave up.”

“Leukemia. Shit. It must have been a dreadful time. For you and your family.”

“It was just me and my mum. And yes, she was desperately worried. I can see that now, though at the time I thought she fussed a lot. I remember she cried when I got the all clear. That confused me. But school, education, none of that ever mattered. It just wasn’t on our horizon. Me being alive and healthy was all she cared about, and that sort of rubbed off on me.”

He nods slowly, a slight frown on his face. “I can understand that.”

“Me too, up to a point. But it wouldn’t do, would it. Not forever. I had to change, had to sort myself out. And Sally was my solution. My salvation I suppose. Always there, always waiting. Once I’d confronted my demons, made arrangements with Sally, I felt the end was in sight. I could do it, I knew I could. And for the first time ever, I actually wanted to. I didn’t want to put it off. I’d never been so determined, I was actually making plans to learn, setting aside the time. I had to go through with it, I just had to.”

“I can see that too. You were right to do it, whatever I said. Whatever I threatened.”

“I hoped you’d understand. That I could make you understand. Afterwards.”

“I do. You have. But for the record, I want you to know I would have understood all along.”

I squeeze his hand in acknowledgment. Phyllis was so sure he would, and I think, deep down, I knew it too. But it would have been just too humiliating to talk about back then whereas now, in retrospect, it doesn’t seem so bad. Hindsight is indeed a wonderful thing, for many reasons.

“I was pissed off, so bloody mad I could have strangled you at first, but I never stopped missing you. Oscar too, though he doesn’t say much.”

“I’ve missed Oscar.”

“Abbie, your bottom’s already going to be very, very sore for all the lying you’ve been doing. You really don’t want to make matters any worse.”

“Oh, okay then. I’ve missed you too. A bit. Sir.”

“I’ll settle for that, on this occasion. And in due course I’ll be expecting to see you naked and kneeling on the floor, ready for your spanking. But first, get over here. I think I’d like you to start playing the sexy little sub again if you don’t mind.”

I don’t need telling twice. In moments I’m straddling his lap, and this time I frame his face with my palms. The slight roughness of his cheeks feels sensual and deliciously male against my hands as I lean in to kiss him. I run my tongue along the seam of his lips and he responds to my silent request. As his mouth opens, I slide my tongue inside to coil around his. He sucks, nibbles, and I’m no longer sure which of us is the instigator now. Not that it matters. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life as I deepen the kiss.

“I thought we were having pizza. And in any case you seem to have started early. Will there be enough of him left over for me?”

Cain catches me as I whirl round. Sally! I’d completely forgotten about her for the moment.

“Your neighbor downstairs let me in. And the door to the flat was left off the latch. So, this would be your Mr Parrish, I assume?”

My Mr Parrish.
Yes, sounds about right.

“Yes, yes it is.” I scramble off his lap, keen to establish perhaps a modicum of decorum. I glance back and note with mixed feelings the bulge of his erection straining the front of his jeans. From the knowing grin on Sally’s face, she’s seen it too. Could hardly miss it, really. Still, I try for polite.

“Cain, this is Sally. My friend, who’s been teaching me.”

Cain stands, shifting a little awkwardly but managing, just about. He gets full marks for fortitude, I’ll grant him that.

He extends his hand to Sally. “I’m delighted to meet you. I was hoping I would. I’m wondering if you might be able to teach me a few tricks. Abbie’s coming back to Berwick with me, and she’ll need to keep up the practice with her reading. I intend to help.” He turns to me. “Provided that’s all right with you, of course.”

This is one of the things I’ve come to appreciate most about Cain. He’s always sensitive to my deeper feelings, tuning in effortlessly to the uncertainties I find so difficult to share. Right now I can’t contain my silly grin. I might just do a little tap dance on my table.

“Thank you. I’d love that.”

Sally seems to think it’s a decent plan too. “Good. It’s important to keep at it now you’ve started to make real progress. Keep practicing.” She turns to Cain. “I can show you a few tricks and techniques. You’re not leaving straight away are you?”

She’s looking from one to the other of us now, one eyebrow raised expectantly. I glance at Cain. I never asked how long he’d be staying. If he has to leave straight away, get back for the business, there’s no way I’m being left behind. He seems to be in no hurry though.

“We’re fine. Abbie’s got a pizza in the oven which smells like it really needs to come out sometime soon. And I was hoping to stay for breakfast at least. And since we’re in the area, there’s a church in Leeds I seem to remember you wanted to look at, Abbie?”

Sally seems content with that. She doesn’t turn a hair as I throw my arms around Cain’s neck and plant a noisy kiss on his mouth. She even manages not to react as he pats my bottom—not especially gently—no doubt to remind me we have unfinished business to attend to as soon as we’re alone.

Sally chuckles as she dumps a tin of alphabetti spaghetti on the table. “Great. And I brought this. Thought it might come in useful, and it’s better than the magnetic ones because we can eat it when we’re done.”