The Third Son (41 page)

Tristan shook his head. “Morgana, it is time for you to grow up and understand the way things work between men and women. We had sex. That does not mean that I love you or that you love me. You only think you love me because I was your first. Soon you will be over me and some new man will catch your eye. Maybe he will be the one for you.”

Morgana was genuinely stunned.
Mo
rg
ana’s
hands balled into fists at her sides and she flew at him, screaming her rage like a battle cry, pummeling him with her tightly clenched hands.

It took a great deal of control for Tristan to fight her off without seriously hurting her, for in her anger Morgana was surprisingly strong. Eventually he managed to grab hold of her wrists and push her a bit roughly into a nearby chair. She struggled against him but he tightened his hold on her wrists until she lowered her head submissively.

“That’s better,” he said, releasing her slowly. “Morgana, this was a mistake. You are obviously too young to understand what I’m trying to say to you. I hope soon that you and I can be friends again. Maybe you will look back on all of this after you have married and laugh.”

Tristan backed away toward the door, his eyes locked on Morgana as he watched the fight go out of her. She slumped her shoulders and remained in the chair Tristan had placed her in, her gaze lowered to the floor. He regretted hurting her, but there was nothing for it now. Tristan hoped that in time, she would forget all about him.

Chapter 24

“I am going to America.”

Esmeralda’s announcement left her gathered family stunned. Akira, Raina and Desmond sat silently and stared at her in amazement. Three weeks ago
,
Esmeralda had locked herself in her room, claiming to feel ill and had allowed no one to enter. She took meals infrequently and hardly ever came out. Then suddenly, a few days ago, she’d become a whirlwind of activity, running in and out of the house as if on some mysterious mission. Of course when asked what she was up to, Esmeralda had promised an explanation later.

Her announcement was even more shocking than her previous behavior. “I’ll be leaving on a ship at the end of the week,” she continued when no one else spoke. “I’ve managed to sell some of my gowns and the black diamonds Damien gave me for quite a bit of money. I also have some money I’ve been saving that I intend to take with me. I’ve already secured my passage.”

Raina was the first to speak. “Why?” Would we ever see you again?”

“Of course you will,” Esmeralda said, sliding onto the sofa between Akira and Raina. She put her arm around Raina’s shoulders. “I’ll come back to visit you often, I promise.”

“You still haven’t answered the question,” Desmond said, standing and jamming his hands in his pockets. His expression could be mistaken for none other than anger. “Why are you doing this?”

Esmeralda sighed. The time for the truth had come. She had rehearsed this moment over and over in her mind, but never guessed it would be this hard to tell her family why she was going away. “I am pregnant with Damien’s child,” she said.

Raina gasped, Desmond’s jaw dropped and Akira silently smiled. “No wonder you have been so ill,” said Raina
.
“But Esmeralda, why are you leaving the country? Why have you not gone to him with this news?”

“No!” she practically shouted, shocking everyone in the room with the vehemence in her voice. “He must not know of this.” She turned toward Desmond, who encountered the king almost daily. “You must not tell him.”

“Why?” Desmond demanded, full of righteous indignation. “He should know. He would want to do something!”

“What can he do?” Esmeralda challenged, daring one of them to go against her. “He is already married to a woman bearing his child. He cannot offer me his name; the only protection he could offer me would be as his mistress! Is that the kind of life you want for me?”

“Of course not,” Raina said calmly, patting Esmeralda’s hand. “We just think that you’re being a bit irrational with this decision. America is a strange land and you would be all alone with a new baby. Surely you cannot mean to do this alone.

“I haven’t spoken to her yet, but I intend to ask Tatiana to come with me. She always tells me how bored she is with things here; perhaps America will be an adventure for her.”

Desmond shook his head. “No. This isn’t right. Cardenas is our home. Your home. What about The Golden Dancer?”

Esmeralda smiled at her little brother, who was evolving into a man before her very eyes. “I think it is time for you to take over, Desmond. With Tristan and Morgana still here, you will do fine. Morgana can train new dancers.”

“It just seems as if you’re running away,” Raina said. “I know that this situation seems impossible, but if you decide to stay we will help you in any way we can. No one will tell anyone about the baby unless you wish it,” she added, casting a glare in Desmond’s direction.

“I’m not running, I’m just starting over,” Esmeralda replied. “I feel like I need a new start and America is just the place for it.”

Raina sighed. She Desmond had turned his back and was staring into the roaring fireplace, and Akira had quietly left the room. Raina held Esmeralda close.
             

“You are a grown woman, Esmeralda,” she relented. “Whatever decisions you make, I will be supportive.”

“Thank you,” Esmeralda said, clinging tightly to
Raina
. She didn’t dare tell her that she really wasn’t so sure about this, but it seemed like the only way. She could not bear for Damien to ever find out about the child, and going away where he could never see her again seemed like the best solution for both of them. For her, it would put an entire ocean between them so that she would not be able to run to him as she was yearning to now. Yes, she decided with a decisive nod, this was the only way.

****

Tatiana agreed to accompany Esmeralda to America immediately. Esmeralda was relieved. She had known that she would hardly have to convince her younger to cousin to come along on what Tatiana would undoubtedly think of as an adventure.

Tatiana chattered excitedly as the two of them walked arm and arm toward The Golden Dancer. Despite her lingering sadness, Esmeralda could not help but smile at her cousin’s enthusiasm. She felt herself starting to feel a small glimmer of hope; perhaps she was making the right decision after all.

Her cousin had not tried to talk her into going to Damien about the baby and for that, Esmeralda was grateful. Tatiana seemed to understand Esmeralda’s need to start a new life. She had decided to take on a new identity, one of a widow, so that she would not have to bear the stigma that would undoubtedly come with being an unwed mother.

The plan was flawless and she was nearly completely packed for the journey. All that remained now was to meet with Tristan and Desmond, who would be taking over once she was gone.

Shivering against the cold, she was grateful when they swung open the back door to the tavern and rushed into the warm dressing room. Tristan was waiting for them in the back office. Desmond had not yet arrived. Esmeralda could not meet his gaze. Somehow they had grown apart as friends and she deeply regretted the rift that her relationship with Damien had caused. Now that it was over, she hardly knew how to talk to him.

She could feel his eyes boring into her. “Tatiana, would you give us a minute alone, please?” he said softly, never taking his eyes from Esmeralda’s face. He clasped his hands tightly behind his back and paced behind the desk for a few moments once they were alone. Esmeralda knew he was struggling with whatever it was he needed to say, but she could only stand there and wait for him to say it.

“I know about the child,” he began, saying each word slowly as if pondering over each one before uttering it. “Your grandmother came to me this morning with the news. I think she is hoping that I will try to stop you. I know you better than anyone. You have been my friend since we were children and I know that when you’ve set your mind to something, you are going to do it.”

Esmeralda nodded. She was still incapable of words, still unsure of how to talk to someone she had known all of her life. Had the past few months changed her so drastically? “That’s right,” she managed finally, sinking into a chair across from what had once been her father’s desk, it was now Tristan’s.

He sat on the edge and folded his arms over his chest, gazing down at her in that unsettling way of his, as if those black eyes of his could see straight through her. “I know that I cannot say anything to stop you, but that does not mean I won’t try,” he said, coming off of the desk’s edge.

He kneeled before her and took her hand in his. Esmeralda suddenly understood what this private meeting had been all about and felt her heart begin to hammer in her chest. She knew she should stop this, tell Tristan that she was flattered, but could not think of ruining his life by marrying him. She knew she should tell him she was not ready, that her heart was still too injured
b
ut she could say none of those things, not when Tristan was gallantly down on one knee, the look in his eyes naked and vulnerable. She could only sit there numbly and wait.

“I know that you do not love me,” he said. “But I think in time, after your heart is no longer broken, you could learn to love me. I know that we could be happy together, Esmeralda. I know that I could be a good husband to you.”

“But the child
...
“she interjected. Surely
,
he was not thinking of the fact that she was carrying another man’s baby.

“The child is yours and because it is yours I will love it like it is my own. I will give it my name and no one has to know it is not ours together. Perhaps someday we will have some of our own as well. Please, Esmeralda, don’t leave. Stay and marry me.”

Esmeralda’s eyes filled with tears. Never had anyone so selflessly offered her anything before in her life. She had known Tristan loved her, but never had she understood just what he would be willing to do for her.

Here he was, on his knees, saying all of these beautiful things and offering her the solution to all of her problems. If she said yes….God, she wanted to say yes to him….if she said yes, that would mean security for herself and a father for her child. Didn’t every child need a father?

If she said yes, she could keep the Golden Dancer and she wouldn’t have to leave her family. No one would even have to know the child was Damien’s and she did not have to run the risk of him ever finding out if everyone thought her husband had fathered the child.

“It hardly seems fair to you,” she said, still thinking over his proposal in her mind. “I don’t know if I could be a good wife to you, Tristan. You must know that my feelings for Damien are not gone, may never be completely gone.”

Tristan smiled that devilishly charming smile of his and shrugged. “I will be happy to spend the rest of my life changing your mind. Please say yes.”

Esmeralda sighed. She was suddenly very tired. More tired than she had ever felt, not just physically but emotionally. She was tired of fighting. Perhaps it was time to take the easy way, to allow Tristan to care for her and her child. She would try her damnedest to return his love.

“All right,” she said, hardly believing what she was saying. “Yes, Tristan. I’ll marry you.”

Tristan’s smile widened and he kissed Esmeralda’s cheek gently before pulling her into his arms. She sank into the comfort of his embrace gratefully, that she did not have to face the world alone anymore; grateful that someone would be there beside her, even if it was not the man she loved.

***

The date for the wedding was set for one week away; Raina and Akira thought it would be best for them to be married immediately in a small, private ceremony if they were to have any chance of passing off Damien’s child as Tristan’s.

It was hardly the ideal situation in which Esmeralda had dreamed of once planning her wedding, but it seemed her only option. Tatiana had been disappointed at first upon finding out that they wouldn’t be going to America, but had brightened instantly upon being asked to stand with Esmeralda as her maid of honor.

No one seemed surprised by this announcement. Everyone that Esmeralda had ever known since childhood had been expecting her to marry Tristan. No one even mentioned her short engagement to a certain prince, much to Esmeralda’s relief.

She stood now, on the morning of her wedding, waiting for her mother to finish fastening the long row of buttons down the back of her ivory wedding dress. Tatiana had tried to talk her into wearing the gown that Madame Didier had created especially for her, but Esmeralda refused. The gown lay at the bottom of a trunk in the attic, one of the few remnants that remained of her time with Damien. Esmeralda just did not feel right about wearing it after all that had happened.

She’d chosen the materials herself, an ivory satin with matching lace laid over it.
Raina
had worked day and night to complete the dress. It was simple and modest, with long sleeves and a wide satin ribbon tied into a bow at her back. She wore the pearls her father had bought for her, and tucked a white calla lily behind one ear. Her hair had been brushed and allowed to hang down her back. Akira carefully placed an ivory lace mantilla over her lustrous waves.