The Third Scroll (30 page)

“You have been worried,” he said gruffly and turned away.

I had spoken of Leena and Batumar a lot in the past few days, I supposed. We passed the evenings trading tales, the Guardians about the Seela and their past, I about the fortress city of Karamur. A great curiosity they had for the place that stood so close to them yet remained mostly unknown to their people.

Still, that the Guardian of the Scrolls would go as far as seeking the Seer surprised me. Of the three Guardians, he had shown the least interest in my tales, although I had caught his gaze on me time and time again as I had relayed the happenings of the palace.

Maybe he was softening toward the Kadar. Or perhaps he was softening toward me.

“Grandfather,” I addressed him with the utmost respect, then brought up once again the thought that had been nagging in the back of my mind since the beginning. “I do not think the prophecy is about me.”

He turned my way but did not groan from the movement as had been his habit. He had finally, the day before, allowed me to prepare for him a tea of herbs and was now moving around easier. His complaints had decreased by half, for which the other Guardians had privately thanked me.

“It is only natural that you should worry,” he said. “Such a great task you face.”

I pointed to the passage in question and read it out: “
…well-favored by the spirits, for she will have all three spirits of the people of Dahru and even the spirit of our forgotten people.
” I looked at him. “How could that be?”

“You have the spirit of the Shahala from your mother,” he said. “And the Kadar from your father.”

“But the others?” How could I have the spirit of the Seela? And how could I have the spirit of the First People when they have been gone for centuries?”

“The Seela are said to have in them some of the First People’s blood and with it their spirit, from whence come our gifts.”

So between the two of us, we had all four spirits. But that was not what the prophecy called for. I mentioned this to the Guardian, but he shrugged, looking not the least concerned.

“Then how about—” I read on, “
She will know all people, for she will have been all people
.”

“You have been the child of a powerful mother, and then an orphan. You have been a slave. And now you are the sole concubine of the most powerful warlord of the land,” he said. “Most of us start out our lives and the path before us never changes. At birth, I was a Guardian, and I will die a Guardian. But you have walked the path of many.”

“But I have not been
all
people. I have not been a merchant, I have not been a mother, I have not been a warrior—”

“You have been enough. And the next passage says:
…they will raise their eyes to her with hope so that as she had cast out their pain, so she might cast out the darkness also
. You cannot deny that is true. You are a healer and have cast out the pain of many.” He fell silent then, and we sat like that for some time, each absorbed in our own thoughts.

“You can read the scroll now,” he said after a while.

I nodded. He had read the prophecy for me until I knew the words by heart and began to grow familiar with the strange letters that created them. I already knew the language, so I only had to connect letters with the sounds.

“Then you no longer need me.” His voice sounded tired and listless again as it had when I first met him. “My work is finished.”

“But I do need you and so does everyone else.”

“I am but a useless old man. A coward at that—” His face darkened. “For I fear what is to come and look only for a way to avoid having to live through it.”

“The Shahala have a saying: There is no greater courage than to accept one’s destiny.”

He looked up at that.

“You dedicated your whole life to guarding the scrolls, and when I came, you taught me. You sacrificed much, and there is honor in it. I question my fate with each breath of the day and wish to run from it. You completed yours.”

“I did what I had to.”

“And gave up much along the way for your people and strangers you will never know.”

He looked at the stone floor at his feet. “I would have liked to have had a family.” He admitted the first personal thing since I had known him.

“You have a son.”

He remained silent for some time, and when he spoke, the words fell heavy from his lips. “At the time deemed right by the then Seer, a young woman from the maidens of the city was selected. She came up to this cave and conceived our son, then walked back down, and I never saw her again. When my son was the right age, he came to me for training. A few days before you appeared out of the mist, he ascended the mountain to purify his mind and body and to wait for the word of my death so he can descend and take over his duty.”

“And the other guardians?”

“The son of the Guardian of the Gate is on a journey through the gates to learn them better. The son of the Guardian of the Cave…” Disapproval filled his eyes. “A restless one, that one, and undisciplined. He decided to go on a quest, searching for other sacred caves in the mountains.”

“There are others?”

“So the legends say. One holds the great sword of Bergan. Another hides a thousand virgins frozen in sleep by a sorceress of old. And there might be more that the legends forgot about.”

I sat up straighter. “Could not the great sword of Bergan help Batumar win the war better than I?”

“The sword is prophesized to unite the world after a thousand years.”

“A thousand years from now?” That much war I could scarcely comprehend.

“A thousand years from when the prophecy was made.” He hung his head, his lips in a grim line. “Unfortunately, no two Guardians have ever been able to agree on that date. But we do not think the time is near.”

All fairy tales, I thought. Especially the thousand virgins. If a cave such as that existed, the Kadar warlords would have been looking for it day and night to claim the virgins for their Maiden Halls.

“In any case, those other prophesies have not been entrusted to the three of us. Our duty was to await you.” The lines on his forehead eased somewhat. “Which we did with honor. And should we pass before you fulfill your fate, our sons stand ready to assist you.”

My throat tightened at his words. For legends and vague prophecies, generations of young men had been forced to sacrifice their lives. “The Shahala value families above all. No office asks its holder to forgo that. Why is it so among your people?”

“The first Guardians believed the Great War of the prophecies would come soon and their services would be urgently needed. They thought the prophecy would be fulfilled in their own lifetimes and feared a family would distract them from their duties. They forswore it for this reason. The example of the first Guardians was followed until it had become unbreakable law among my people.”

I thought of those generations of Guardians, their entire lives spent waiting for me to walk out of the mist. I could scarcely comprehend such a thing.

“Sometimes our worst bonds are of our own making,” he said, his tone glum.

“But it is not too late. You can still find your son’s mother.”

He shook his head. “Too late for me.” But then he added, “Maybe not so for my son.”

Before I could respond, I caught sight of the Guardian of the Cave and the Guardian of the Gate hurrying up the path. “Kadar warriors are all over the mountain,” the Guardian of the Gate said once they were close enough. “Shall we show ourselves? With the war upon us, is our time here?”

The Guardian of the Scrolls shook his head. “I do not want warriors in our city. First, let us speak to their High Lord. We have been isolated too long. Go now, Tera, and tell Batumar we are coming.”

I nodded with reluctance, knowing that the High Lord’s anger would be fierce when I faced him. “When should he expect you?”

“After the evening meal,” said the Guardian of the Gate.

I had been away from the palace for nearly four full days.

I rolled up the scroll carefully and left it in their keeping, then said farewell to the Guardians and went to face Batumar, hoping to find mercy in his sight.

~~~***~~~

CHAPTER NINETEEN

(The Sacred Gate)

No sooner had I walked out of the valley than I saw Lord Gilrem, his men fanned out behind him in the woods. They looked as if they had been searching the past four full days, tired and rumpled from sleeping on the ground.

“Lord Gilrem,” I said calmly as if I had gone only for a stroll.

“Lady Tera.” He rushed to my side, then stared at my short hair. He held up his hand to signal his men to stay back. “How do you fare?”

“Fine well. And you, my Lord?”

“My son grows and strengthens.”

“And his mother?”

He nodded.

“Will you return with me to the palace?” he asked in a voice low enough so none but I would hear.

I searched his face to make sure I did not misunderstand him, but his intent was clear. Now that I had accepted my destiny and the fact that I could never return to the life I had once known, the choice was finally offered to me.

The spirits were not without a sense of humor after all.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I shall return to Karamur with you, Lord Gilrem.”

He smiled his relief, then sent some of his men to the other search parties to call them off. “We have been looking for you since your absence was discovered.”

“I am sorry to have caused so much trouble.” Sorry for the warriors who were about to go to battle and were deprived even of these few days to spend with their families. “I expect the High Lord is angry.” I winced at the thought of an enraged Batumar, but then I steeled myself.

“I shall remain by your side, if you wish, my Lady.”

An offer of protection. A long path we had traveled since we had first met. I had learned much in that time. It should have surprised me not that the High Lord’s young brother had changed as well.

“I thank you, my Lord, but I must face the High Lord alone in this matter.”

Lord Gilrem would not let me climb the cliff, so we returned to Karamur the long way, his men falling into place behind us. The ones who had caught me on the creek bank were not among his guard now. I did not know whether Lord Gilrem had remembered and ordered it so or if by coincidence. I trusted his offer of protection, and I did not feel afraid in their midst.

He asked me where I had gone but did not insist on an answer when I remained silent. I asked him about the war effort.

The city walls now stood finished, he said, and the gate fully fortified, but all other work had been set aside as Batumar had sent every available man to search for me. I asked him about Leena. He assured me that no servants had been punished for my escape, but the Palace Guard had been disciplined as they had been found derelict in their duty.

The sun had passed its zenith by the time we reached the palace. Batumar waited for us in his Great Hall, his jaw clenched as he looked me over. An icy expression sat upon his face, while his dark eyes swirled with fire.

“The Lady Tera and I have matters to discuss in private.” He grabbed my arm and dragged me after him down the corridor, through his antechamber into his bedchamber, and slammed the door hard enough to shake the palace.

My heart clamored like the small chowa bird trapped in a net.
Spirit, be strong. Heart, be brave.
I tried to step back, but he would not let me.

He looked me over once more, his gaze settling on my shorn hair.

“Who did this to you?” Murder rang clear in his voice.

“No other but I.” I somehow kept my voice from trembling.

“Why do you test me so?” he whispered instead of shouting as I had expected, then drew me closer and pressed his lips to mine.

He did not stop there.

So it happened that when most women my age already had children to occupy their time, I was finally kissed for the first time, by no other than the Kadar High Lord, Batumar.

I am not sure how long the kiss lasted; my sense of time left me along with sense of anything but his lips and arms. I had, of course, thought about how it would be, like any foolish young girl, but I had been long since a woman. And Batumar made me feel like one.

When his hand wandered up my arm, I shivered as if with fever. At long last, he drew his lips away and touched his forehead to mine. His chest rose and fell heavily.

“Shall we go to the evening feast?” he asked in a raspy voice, speaking with effort.
Or shall we stay
, I guessed the unspoken second part of his question.

Stay
, I wanted to say, not ready to see the heady feeling end, but I suddenly remembered the Guardians and jumped back. “You have visitors coming, my Lord.” Then I told him in a rush about my days at the Forgotten City.

“I should go and change, my Lord,” I added once I finished my tale.

He frowned, but he granted me leave.

Leena waited for me in front of his door and threw herself at my feet in tears of joy as I stepped out of the chamber. I pulled her up into my arms, and for once she forgot herself and returned my embrace. We hurried to Pleasure Hall while Batumar strode straight to the feast, bidding me in passing to hasten after him.

In no time, as I filled her in on the most important parts of the past four days, a disbelieving and much distracted Leena had my hair pinned back and a gossamer arrangement of veil attached to it in such a way as to cover what was missing.

She spread out a golden cloud of a gown as soft as a dream, but I shook my head. I had never been a true concubine of the High Lord’s Pleasure Hall, and I felt less so now than ever before. I dressed in my thudi and Shahala tunic, and pulled the brown robe of the Guardians over that.

I looked around the room and on the top of the wooden chest saw the soft glint of the emerald brooch. I had not worn it since I had received it. But now I fastened the jewel to the brown fabric cascading from my shoulders to better hold the folds together. A Kadar token it was. I reminded myself to be careful of the sharp edge.