The Third Eye Initiative (33 page)

“
One drop of what?” Tsaeris asked.

“
Compassion,” Tyrier said. “Mercy”.

“
I’m just doing what I was taught,” Tsaeris called after Elias’ back.

“
Nobody taught you that,” Elias called from the shadows.

Tsaeris felt
angry, confused and worried as Tyrier dragged him down the stairs, and all the way back to the safe house.

Tsaeris sat on the bed with his back against the wall in one of the cell like rooms that the recruits slept in. He had spent three years in one of these rooms while he was training, yet somehow it felt even smaller now. He wondered if this was the same room he use
d to sleep in. He wasn’t sure, as they all looked the same. The room barely had room for the bed, which touched both the back and side walls of the room. A foot or two in front of the bed held a trunk and two feet from that was the door. These rooms were even smaller than jail cells, and Tsaeris hated it.

It had never bothered him when he was a recruit. Most of the day had been dedicated to training, both physical and mental, and by the time he had returned to his room he would simply fall into the hard bed and sleep. The moment he woke up, it was time to start training again. But now he was an agent, and the only training he had was the exercises he imposed on himself to keep fit.

Since Tyrier had practically dragged him back to the safe house by the ear several hours ago, Tsaeris hadn’t spoken to anyone. Elias and Tyrier had been very upset with him. He thought it was ridiculous that a man like Elias would call him out on torturing a man. Elias tortured people. What a hypocrite.

Tsaeris was jarred from his thought
s when a knock sounded at the door. He sighed, not really in the mood to talk. He supposed it was either Elias or Tyrier, here to lecture him.

“
Yeah, it’s open,” Tsaeris called out. The door opened, and Raina entered the room. She smiled at Tsaeris, and then put her back to the wall to give the door enough room to close.

“
Hey Tsaeris. I heard you were here,” Raina said, smiling. She sat down on the end of the bed.

“
Yep. How’s Richard doing?” Last he had seen Raina, she was heading back to the safe house with a very miserable looking Richard.

“
He’s alright. He’s taken over the tavern down here for now. It will take a while for the Tarnished Tankard to be rebuilt.”

“
Rebuilt? Thank the light. That place was pretty much my home,” Tsaeris said, and he meant it.

“
I thought you lived with your father,” Raina said, raising an eyebrow.

“
Elias. And yeah, I guess I live there too. But I spend a lot more time at the Tankard,” Tsaeris replied.

“
Right, Elias. Your father,” Raina said, and chuckled at the look of consternation Tsaeris shot her way. “Still don’t like the idea, I see.”

“
It’s not that. I don’t know. Elias is Elias. It freaks me out when people refer to him as my father. Hell, if I started calling him ‘Dad’ he’d probably box my ears. Not that I could ever call him that without feeling nauseous.” It’s not that Tsaeris was unhappy that Elias was his father. He was mostly indifferent at this point, and found it kind of strange to hear when people brought it up. He liked to think of it all as an interesting note, and nothing more.

“
Alright, I’ll drop it. So what brings you back to the safe house?” Raina asked.

“
Well, my tavern burned down. Figured I could lay low here,” Tsaeris lied. He was not about to tell Raina about the man he had interrogated and the reaction of Elias and Tyrier. With his luck, Raina would probably agree with them. Besides, he wasn’t supposed to mention the Elites to anyone. Even Aedrus hadn’t known who had been following them....tonight? Last night? What the hell time was it? Had he slept? He couldn’t remember. The room was mind numbing.

“
Want to come have breakfast with me?” Raina asked.

“
Breakfast. So that means its morning?” Tsaeris asked.

“
Very good, Tsaeris,” Raina replied mockingly.

“
That’s what they tell me. Alright, let’s go have breakfast.”

Tsaeris spent the entire morning and afternoon with Raina. It was fun. He hadn’t spent much time with her lately, and the two joked and bragged about the missions they had completed. He made a mental note to spend more time with her. Tsaeris didn’t have many friends, and he often forgot that sometimes another person’s company could be enjoyable.

Evening had come, and Tsaeris had decided it was time to start drinking. Raina agreed, but they were cut short after their first drink when Elias entered the safe house tavern. Elias looked around at the agents gathered around the tables.

“
Everyone out. Now,” Elias said. He didn’t say it very loud, but the room cleared almost instantly. Tsaeris stayed where he was. The ‘everyone out, except you’ was implied in the look Elias gave him. Elias took a seat across from Tsaeris.

“
Elias,” Tsaeris greeted.

“
We need to talk,” Elias said.

“
I gathered,” Tsaeris replied, somewhat sarcastically. “So, you said I’m done. What does that mean, boss?”

“
What you did to that man was monstrous, Tsaeris,” Elias began. Tsaeris rolled his eye. Elias glared at him. “This is the problem, boy. How could you do something like that and be so callous about it?”

“
He was an enemy. And he was there to kill me and Aedrus. You expect me to feel sorry for him?” Tsaeris asked bitterly.

“
Have you ever felt sorry, Tsaeris? For anything?” Elias asked.

“
I don’t know how to answer that, honestly. I do what I do. I always do it for a reason. If I make a mistake, then I regret my bad decision. But feel sorry? Why should I?”

“
You mean to tell me that you have never felt anything? The first time you killed someone? When that man was screaming for you to stop? You didn’t feel any compassion?” Elias seemed to be very invested in whatever Tsaeris was about to say. He seemed to fidget in his seat, shifting his position.

“
Compassion? Listen to me, Elias. I have never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it. Not once. Compassion is a joke in this city. Have you seen this place? It eats the compassionate alive, and either kills them or spits them out as a causality of corruption.”

“
Remember when you killed your fellow agent in the jail cell? When you were a novice? What did you feel then?” Elias asked.

“
I don’t know. I wished it hadn’t come to that. But he did it to himself. Hell, I didn’t even kill him. He drank the shit voluntarily. It upset me in that I felt like we were all so expendable.”

“
So the only thing you felt was concern for yourself?” Elias seemed more worried than angry.

“
What do you want me to say? I’ve lived on the streets. All I know is survival. You know what happens to heroes in the street? They become heroes in the gutter. The only one who will make damn sure I stay alive is myself. If somebody gets in the way of that goal, then to hell with him. Compassion? It’s useless. We have to do bad things sometimes. Why let it get to me? You may think it makes me a monster. I say it’s made me one of the best damn agents we have.”

“
Are you just trying to seem like a tough guy? Or are you being honest?” Elias asked.

“
When have I ever tried to be a tough guy? Like I said, Elias. I do what I have to do. Regrets are a waste of time.” Tsaeris was feeling a bit angry about the whole thing. They trained him to be a killer, to be ruthless when needed, and then he got in trouble for killing ruthlessly. It was silly.

“
Forget regret, then. When you were cutting that man to pieces, did you have no inclination to just end it? To show him mercy?”

“
No,” Tsaeris replied. “Would he have shown me and Aedrus mercy? I doubt it.”

“
Would he have cut you into pieces while you were still alive? I doubt it,” Elias said sharply.

“
You know what I find irritating?” Tsaeris said. “You’ve tortured your fair share of people. Do you think it made you less a monster because it bothered you? Because you felt compassion? Do you think the people you were torturing felt that you were an okay guy since you felt bad about it?  We’re both monsters of necessity, Elias. The only difference between us is that you need to feel bad to sleep at night, and I sleep just fine regardless.”

Elias stayed silent for a time, his face reflective. When he wasn’t in a rage, Elias tended to think matters through and try to see it from all sides. Tsaeris respected that about him.

“You’re not wrong about that,” Elias said softly. “I may not take it to the extremes you did last night, but I can’t promise I wouldn’t have if I had to. But you are wrong when you say compassion is useless, Tsaeris. It keeps us in check when we get out of hand. It makes us better than the people we kill, if only a little. It keeps our knives piercing the right people, and gives us pause when there is doubt.”

“
I use calculation for that, Elias. It serves me just as well,” Tsaeris replied.

“
This is my fault, in a sense. When you were my novice, I never taught you these things. I didn’t think I’d have to. I didn’t realize what you were.”

“
What am I, Elias?” Tsaeris asked,

“
I think, at least in part, you’re morally insane, as Tyrier would call it. A person incapable of feeling compassion or anything for other people.” Elias said.

“
That’s bullshit. I know what a morally insane means, Elias. That’s not me. I may not feel bad for my actions, but I do care about some people. I cared about Cyra. I care for my friends. I don’t think you’re being fair.”

“
Perhaps. But you definitely have some of the traits, Tsaeris. I don’t know where it comes from. Probably from the life you’ve lead. Either way, it’s my failure. I’ll do what I can to make it right.”

“
How?” Tsaeris asked.

“
I have no idea, at the moment,” Elias said sincerely.

“
So, when you said I’m done?”

“
I don’t know. A part of me feels like it’s a danger to have you operating. Another part of me fears taking you off the streets, as you are a good agent, and one of three people who know about the problem we’re having. We’ll probably need you. But, Tsaeris. You need to keep yourself in check. Do you understand?” Elias asked

“
As far as I’m concerned, I’ve always been in check. But yeah, I understand.” Tsaeris was relieved. He defined himself by his role as a Third Eye Initiative Agent. Had he been forced out of his job, he wasn’t sure he could take it.

“
Alright, since we’re alone. I can tell you this much right now. The Elites are not doing this under Gravelock’s orders. They have defected, it seems. We don’t know who’s calling their shots now, so be very careful. I tried to get a list of names, but I was denied. So we have no idea who they are.”

“
Why couldn’t you get names? You’d think that...he...would want this stopped,” Tsaeris asked, his tone incredulous. Tsaeris struggled with the concept of Gravelock, still unconvinced that the man even existed.

“
I have no idea, and I’m not even going to bother speculating. It’s no use. I have to go now, Tsaeris. Just remember what we talked about,” Elias said.

“
Where’s Aedrus, anyway? I haven’t seen him down here,” Tsaeris asked.

“
He’s staying in our house tonight. Tyrier is there as well,” Elias replied.

“
Good,” Tsaeris said. The men exchanged goodbyes, and Elias was gone. Tsaeris sat alone at his table for some time, going over the conversation he had had with Elias in his head, over and over again.

Tsaeris looked up as Raina appeared again, reclaiming her seat across from him.

“What was that about?” Raina asked,

“
He needed my secret recipe for shepherd’s pie,” Tsaeris replied.

“
Fine, don’t tell me,” Raina said, brushing her brown hair back behind her ears with her hand.

“
I don’t think I will. Still up for those drinks?” Tsaeris asked, smiling.

They drank late into the evening. The ale and whiskey fogged Tsaeris’ mind, and made him forget his troubles. The two of them played dice and talked while the
y drank, neither really keeping score of who owed who how much coin. He noticed Raina giving him a shy look from time to time. He knew that look, and figured it must be the drink. He didn’t mind, as he was drunk himself. And Raina was very pretty. How had he not noticed this before?

Tsaeris and Raina stumbled drunkenly into his bedroom cell, both tripping over the trunk and falling into the bed, while erupting into fits of laughter.
Tsaeris leaned over the foot of the bed and slammed the cell door shut. He turned to face Raina, who was now smiling at him, and lying on her side propped up by an elbow. He hesitated. Since Cyra, Tsaeris had slept with only whores. With whores it was easy. He was paying, and didn’t really need to put any effort into it. He hoped he still remembered how to make it enjoyable for the woman as well.

He crawled across the b
ed, and lay propped on his side, facing Raina. She leaned forward and gave him a small kiss. She back away and they stared at each other again, Raina giving a small chuckle to help disarm her nervousness. Tsaeris smiled at her, and this time it was he who leaned in.