The Things I Do for You (The Alexanders) (26 page)

Nick stopped and looked down at her. “Finances?”

“Yeah. Steven said that your foundation was in financial trouble.” Something in Nick’s face must have changed because she suddenly stopped talking. “Nick?” He looked up at her and she sucked in a deep breath. “There’s no truth to what Steven said is there?”

“I can’t lie to you, sweets. It’s the only thing that makes me who I am. I’ll always tell you the truth.”

“Then it’s true. You’re in financial trouble?”

“Not yet. But I probably will be if my foundation doesn’t get more investors soon.”

“Oh, God. I was really hoping he made that up just to be mean.” Raina paled and let go of his arm.
 

Nick couldn’t understand why his foundation was of any interest to her. Especially not enough to cause her to look like that.
 

“He didn’t make that part up, unfortunately.”

Raina’s eyes swung back to his face. “He was so surprised that you hadn’t asked me to donate. He thinks that was the reason you married me. That you had some master plan to use me to push your agenda.”

Nick gritted his teeth. “I would never use you.”

“So it never occurred to you before we were married that an association with me could help your foundation?”

Nick immediately thought of the day Matt had come to his office. It seemed like a million years ago that he’d had the idea of asking Ridley to convince Raina to help him.

“It occurred to me. I can’t pretend it didn’t occur to me. But that’s not why I married you.”

Raina scoffed. “Of course not. You married me because I’ve always been so
nice
to you.”
 

“All I was going to do was ask Ridley to talk to you about doing some ads for us. That’s all. I didn’t need to marry you for that.”

“I can’t believe how stupid I am sometimes.”

Nick’s heart sank. “Don’t say that. You can’t honestly believe that I married you to take advantage of you?”
 

“I’m sure you didn’t think of it that way. It was probably just a nice bonus. Marry the girl, have some hot sex, and instantly boost your public profile at the same time. A win-win-win all around, right?”

He hadn’t been on the receiving end of her sharp tongue in so long that he’d lost his armor. Every word she said sliced through him until Nick was shocked there weren’t holes straight through him.

“It wasn’t like that.”

“The thing I don’t get is why would you do that? Why would you go to all this trouble to make me fall in love with you? I was willing to marry you without all that. I was determined to keep things neutral between us. You’re the one who kept pushing for more.”

“I wanted you to fall in love with me because I’m in love with
you
.
”

Raina closed her eyes. “Steven admitted that he’s been making things difficult for you. Did you marry me just to get back at him?” The quiet despair in her voice sliced his emotions in half.

“Oh, no.
Raina
. I’ve been in love with you all along and that never changed. I don’t care what Steven said. You know what we have is real.”

She stared up at him from tear-filled eyes. “No, I don’t. That’s the problem. I just don’t know what’s real anymore. I don’t know anything at all.”

That was when Nick got angry. It was utter bullshit that she’d believe her ex over his word. “You just told me you love me and now just ten minutes later, you’re suddenly not sure? Raina, don’t you see? You’re just afraid. But you don’t have to be.”

“I do. I was afraid and it turns out I had good reason to be. This whole time I thought you were doing all this stuff for me but it’s really been some macho pissing contest between you and Steven.” She pulled the thin blanket higher on her chest, almost as if it could shield her from him. “You’re like two toddlers fighting over a toy. A toy that neither of you actually even wants.”

“That’s not true, Raina.” Nick wondered how they’d gone from her declaring her love to accusing him of using her. “Whenever I get anywhere close to touching your heart, you pull away from me. I’ve done everything I can to show you how I feel. There’s a point where you just can’t do any more without losing yourself. I love you, Raina, but you don’t make it easy.”

Raina let out a sob. “You think this is easy for me? I want
so much
to believe you. But I’ve seen you in action before. You’re so used to doing whatever you want to bend the world to your will. When was the last time you did something with no ulterior motive? Something with no benefit to you?”

It hurt Nick more than he’d thought possible that he couldn’t think of even one example for her.
 

“I hate that this is hurting you, sweetheart. I can’t stand to see you cry. I’ve always only wanted you to be happy. I would never knowingly cause you harm.”

“I know you never mean any harm, Nick. But sometimes even when you don’t mean for it to happen, people get hurt. This hurts,” she cried.
 

He tried to approach her bed but as soon as he did, she started crying harder. “I just can’t believe it. I just can’t.” The monitor attached to her arm started going crazy.
 

A nurse came in a few minutes later. “What happened in here? She was doing so much better.”

“I can’t. I just can’t,” Raina cried. She kept saying it over and over until the nurse looked up at him in alarm.
 

There was nothing left for him to do but leave.

*
 
*
 
*
 
*
 
*

NICK PACED BACK and forth in the corridor outside Raina’s room. His shoes made little squeaking sounds on the linoleum floor. Everything Raina had just said felt like it was replaying in his head.
 

Hadn’t he thought many times over the past month that he should confide in Raina about his problems? She was a great listener and was great at coming up with creative solutions to problems. He certainly didn’t doubt her intelligence. She was quite well versed in geography and world affairs due to all her traveling. If he’d confided in her, she’d have probably been able to help.

It had been his pride, his stupid pride, that had kept him from telling her. He hadn’t wanted to admit that the whiz kid might have made a mistake. He never wanted her to think less of him or have her faith in him tarnished.
 

Now, her faith in him had been completely shattered.

He’d known that his complicated past with her ex was going to come back and bite him in the ass. He should have told her everything himself before Steven had a chance to put his twisted spin on things. But he hadn’t wanted to take a chance on pushing her away when they’d finally started to get closer. He’d let his fear override his common sense. Now it was too late.
 

Even though he wanted to be pissed at Silvestre, he ultimately was just pissed at himself. There were so many ways he could have handled the conversation that didn’t include telling her she was difficult to love.
 

When he looked up, the nurse was just leaving Raina’s room.

“How is she?”

The nurse gave him a sympathetic look. “She’s resting comfortably now. The doctor is on his way. He’s going to explain her treatment to you.”

Nick backed up so she could pass. “Thank you.”

“Nick! What are you doing out here in the hall?” Ridley stood behind him, holding a small cup of coffee and a bag of potato chips.
 

“We had a fight. I upset her.” He blew out a long breath. “I don’t know what happened. We were talking and then her monitor started going off. The nurse had to come in.”

Ridley didn’t say anything, just handed him the cup of coffee. She disappeared into Raina’s room. When she came back out, she didn’t meet his eyes. “She’s sleeping now.”

Just then a tall, thin man with gray hair approached them. “Mr. Alexander?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“I’m Dr. Parrish. I was the doctor on call when your wife was brought in.” He paused and then glanced at Ridley.
 

“Oh, it’s okay. This is my wife’s twin sister.” Nick motioned for him to continue.
 

“Mr. Alexander, your wife is suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum, also known as HG. Basically her morning sickness has become so severe as to endanger her and the baby. When she was brought in she was severely dehydrated, which explains why she complained of dizziness and a headache before she collapsed.”

Ridley gripped his arm and looked up at the doctor. “Is my sister going to be okay?”

“She’s only seven weeks pregnant, so we’ve caught it early and can take precautions to make sure she doesn’t get this dehydrated again.”

“Do we know why this happened?” Ridley asked. “Raina’s been trying for so long to get pregnant, so I know she was doing everything she could to be healthy. She was taking her vitamins and eating right.”

The doctor nodded. “I wish I could point to one thing as the cause, but unfortunately the medical community doesn’t agree on what causes HG. It’s been thought that low Body Mass Index could be a cause, but it’s likely a combination of factors, including hormone levels and stress.”

He looked down at the clipboard he held. “We’re going to do rehydration therapy for her, so we’ll need to keep her overnight. Then I’ll give her a prescription to take at home. Here’s some information about her condition.”

Nick accepted the papers the doctor held out and thanked him again. When he turned around, he handed the papers to Ridley.
 

“I need you to do something for me, Ridley.”

She accepted the papers and tucked them under her arm. “Of course. What do you need?”

He tipped his head toward Raina’s room. “I need you to take care of her for me.”

“And where are
you
going to be?” Ridley asked. Nick finally had to look away from her searing gaze.

“Anywhere but here.”

Ridley’s face fell. “I don’t understand you, Nick. You’ve fought so hard for her. Look how far you two have come. Now you’re just giving up?”

“You didn’t see her face in there. She’s so upset with me right now. Having me around is causing her stress. It’s not in her best interest for me to be here. I think leaving is probably the most unselfish thing I’ve ever done.”
 

Ridley crossed her arms and glared at him. “What am I supposed to tell her when she wakes up?”

Nick looked down at his shoes. “Tell her that I love her. Tell her that I’m sorry and I never meant to hurt her. I think it’s best if I move out of her house so she doesn’t have to see me when she comes home. That’s her space. She shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable in her own place.”

“I don’t agree with this. Not at all.” Ridley looked behind her as if afraid that Raina would overhear.
 

“There’s a time for retreat. This is it.”
 

MATT FLEXED HIS shoulder and breathed through the pain that lanced up his arm. He gritted his teeth and waited for it to pass. It usually stopped if he kept it completely still. But then again, he usually wasn’t carrying around pregnant women.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re still here.”

Nick stood just outside Raina’s hospital room. He looked like a zombie. Matt cursed inwardly. Why had he spent so much time talking to Raina? He should have just picked her up and put her in the car. He could have gotten her here sooner. If she had complications due to this, he would never forgive himself.

“What can I do to help you? Do you need me to pick up clothes so you can stay here with Raina?”

“No. I won’t be coming back here,” Nick said softly, almost like he was talking to himself. They’d been friends a long time and he’d watched his friend grow from a party animal into a husband and soon-to-be-father. It was starting to feel like all his friends were moving on with their lives.

Leaving him behind.

Matt shook his head and refocused on Nick. His friend was dealing with a lot right now and he needed to be there for him, not feel sorry for himself.

“Why wouldn’t you be coming back here? Raina is going to have to stay overnight, right?”

Nick started walking. Matt dropped the magazine he’d been reading and ran to catch up. “Nick, what’s going on?”

“You drove your truck here, right?” Nick turned left at the nurse’s station. Matt nodded to the nurse behind the desk as they passed.

“Yeah. It’s parked out in the visitor’s lot.”

“Good. I need your help moving some stuff.”

“Anything. Just let me know what you want me to do.” Matt hit the button for the elevator when Nick didn’t move.
 

“I need help moving out of Raina’s house.”

Matt glanced behind them. The hall leading back to the OB wing was empty. “Please tell me you just mean moving some old shit you don’t want anymore.”

Nick shook his head. Matt cut off the question he’d been about to ask. He’d never seen his friend look so dejected. So exhausted. Now probably wasn’t the time to ask him if he was crazy. He looked like he needed a friend to support him right now.

“Whatever you need, Nick. I’ll help you out. You’ve always helped me when I needed it.”

Nick looked up at him, then crossed his arms. “Have I?”

“Of course you have,” Matt answered. “Whenever I need financial advice, you’ve helped me. You’ve been helping me look for a place to live for like six months. I doubt anyone else would have hung in there that long. I’m getting tired of looking and it’s
my
place.”

Nick looked away. “I did those things because they were easy for me to do. Finances are my business. Real estate is sort of an extension of that. Have I ever helped you when it took true effort on my part? When it inconvenienced me or pushed me out of my comfort zone?”