The Terminus (23 page)

“Gary,
can we go somewhere more private?”

“Upstairs?”

He led her up
to the bedrooms in silence, terrified of saying the wrong thing and widening
the rift. He spied his parents’ things on the bed of one of the rooms and went
in. Beetie followed.

“You can shut
the door,” Gary said, softly. “It’s
okay. Redfor told me stuff though I’m not sure what he says is true. Oh Beetie,
I’m so sorry for the way I behaved in the taxi. I was only trying…”

She held a
finger to her lips to shush him, calmly closing the door.

“Gary?”

“Am I
forgiven? Here, let’s sit on the bed!
Please
!” Gary
now thought carefully about every word he uttered. “I won’t bite! Tell me what
the old bloke... erm... I mean what... um... what God said to you.”

Beetie sat on
the bed, her hip touching his.

“Gary,
I love you. I didn’t understand the things happening inside me. They frightened
me, but that’s all it was. I love you. God explained everything. It’s just like
those beautiful poems the Chairman used to recite to me in the
Hatcheries,
only with you it’s true.”

Speechless, Gary
wasn’t prepared for this. Of course he, too, was crazy about the girl.
Flustered, he made a brave attempt to reciprocate:

“I know… I
mean, well… how you feel. Like… well… sort of…”

Do shut up,
you stupid prat!
his mind begged.
This is why you’re here, why you went
back for her twice, why you bloody risked your life for the girl and why poor
old Mike is stuck somewhere in the future. Mike wouldn’t faff about like you,
you idiot!

“Look, Beetie,
I… well… I…”

Beetie turned
and threw her arms around him and kissed his face, his forehead, his cheeks…
and finally his lips. He drew her down across the bed and held her close as her
soft, searching mouth pressed against his, and he felt his whole body respond
to her warmth and her caresses whilst his frantic hands traced and fondled the
contours of her magnificent body. After a brief eternity of bliss, they pulled
apart. Gary held her head gently
between both hands. He wished he might fall into those amazing blue eyes and
vanish forever.

“So do
I
,” he said, awkwardly. “I mean I love you, too. Yeah! I’m
sure! I
love
you! I love you, I love you, I love you!” Beetie laughed
and kissed him again. “So… what now? Keep you out of harm’s way, I guess.
Look... this God guy... what did you make of him? Is he to be trusted? His
side-kick, Redfor, seems as shifty as hell.”

For a moment
Beetie appeared troubled. Those eyes were trying to hide something from him.

“What is it?”
he asked.

“He… he’s all
right. I remembered more and more of the old days in the Hatcheries as God
spoke to me. I had a mother, you know.”

“Yeah! I
heard. God’s wife… which makes you his step-daughter.”

Beetie grinned.

“Say that
again!” she begged.

“Step-daughter.
Why?”

“It… um… sort
of makes me feel like a
real
person. Not like one of those doll girls
the Chairman was turning me into.”

“Oh, you’re
real
all right, Beetie. And…”

“What?”

“Dunno the
right word. Mike’s the words guy. ‘Strong’... I suppose.”

“Strong? Like
Arthry, you mean?”

Gary laughed.

“
Not
the
right word! No, strong inside.
Complete
, maybe?” They both laughed.
“Beetie, Arthry’s not what he seems.”

“What do you
mean?”

She frowned.

Oh, dear,
thought Gary,
gone and said the wrong bloody thing!

“A traitor.”

“Traitor?
What’s that?”

“He’s been
with The Agenda all along. He tried to…”

Beetie turned
her face away.

“No, Gary.
You’re wrong. You’ve got it all wrong.”

“
All
?”

Beetie beamed
reassurance, taking his hands in hers, kissing first one then the other.

“Well... not
all
.
But Arthry? No way! He’s been a father to me. God told me.”

Gary couldn’t
help thinking these people had no concept of mother or father. He had a lot to
teach her.

“Gary?”

“Uhuh!”

“Gary… tonight…
you won’t hurt me when we’re together… as God said we must be… will you? God
insists we share a bed. Like all night long. That you’d hold me... and... well,
do what I yearned for you to do in the Retreat?”

Gary’s mind
raced ahead with carnal thoughts, his mind’s eye defining the curves of that
beautiful body under the girl’s clothes as his hands had moments earlier, and
he hated himself for thinking these things.

Closeness
is what she meant, not sex, and you’d better respect that, Gary O’Driscoll!

But his body
wouldn’t allow him to erase the sex.

“No,” he said,
lightly stroking the soft, smooth skin of her cheeks with the back of his hand
before running his fingers through her long, blond hair. “I could never hurt
you! All night long, he said? Just
hold
you?”

He wondered
where he’d find the strength to honour such respect. How could he lie with a
girl like Beetie and not give in to the inner lust screaming to be let out? Or
did God also have the unthinkable in mind when he’d spoken with Beetie? If so,
why?

God and Redfor
had left when they went downstairs. Mr and Mrs O’Driscoll sat by themselves in
the living room.

“Such a lovely
old man,” said Mrs O’Driscoll, her face also wet with tears.

“He’s Beetie’s
step-dad,” replied Gary. “She only found out today.”

He turned to
Beetie, again unsure whether he’d said the right thing, but the girl appeared
to have other thoughts on her mind.

“I’m sorry you
lost your daughter,” she said at last before sitting on the sofa. “Must be the
worst thing in the world to lose someone you love.” She flashed a glance at
Gary.

“A hurt you
can never get rid of, my dear,” agreed Gary’s mum. “
Never
!”

“What was she
like, your sister?” Beetie asked Gary.

Gary sat
beside her, looked at his parents and chuckled.

“A monkey,
right? A loveable monkey!”

They, too,
laughed.

“Full of life’
is a better description,” corrected Gary’s dad. “Had us in fits most of the
time. Remember when she told a bald man on the train he should put seeds on his
head… and he replied he’d not want to go to work with green hair? Oh, how she
giggled!”

“Must be the
most wonderful thing to have a child, but…” Beetie paused. A dark shadow dulled
her pretty face for a second. She flicked a glance at Gary. “But
only
with the one you love, I think.”

Gary blushed.

“You must both
be hungry!” Mrs O’Driscoll announced. “We’ll get a bite to eat along Golders
Green Road. Chinese?”

“
Chinese
?”
Beetie queried.

Gary couldn’t
recall having seen any Chinese people in the London of the future.

“You’ll like
Chinese food,” he assured her. “Even better than pizza. Only you’ll need a
couple of sticks to eat with!” The girl’s enthusiasm showed in her grin.

“I’ve booked
another room, so you and Dad can share tonight, Gary,” his mum said.

Gary eyes
travelled from his mum to his dad and to Beetie. He didn’t know how to put into
words what the girl had said earlier, and again wished Mike was there to help
him out. Of course he’d respect the girl, but he’d understand if they found
this hard to believe. After all, spending a night – another night – with a girl
with Beetie’s looks... how on earth could he explain?

“I… well… you
and Dad won’t want to be separated, will you, Mum? Not a good idea. Not
tonight.”

“Gary… what...
what
are you…?”

Mrs O’Driscoll
stared aghast at her son. The thing he implied was unthinkable.

“Gary’s
right,” Beetie interrupted quietly. “Before you joined us, God said Gary
mustn’t let me out of his sight tonight. So terribly important… tonight… and us
being alone together.” The girl was looking down at the floor. “He promised me
that Gary would… would be gentle. Take care of me. He said…” She looked up.
Gary’s own eyes moistened when he saw the tears at the corners of her eyes. “He
said we
must
come together.”

“But…” began
Mrs O’Driscoll, looking sideways at Mr O’Driscoll, “but Gary’s only…”

“She’s right,”
intervened Gary’s dad. “Like she says, it was all decided before you came in to
join us, dearest. Things are happening way beyond our comprehension and these two
young people need time and space together. Tonight, as Beetie said,
is
the
night.”

Tonight’s
the night? Time and space? Well put, Dad! Not even Mike could’ve done better.
All about time and space. Or no space at all between Beetie and me... tonight.

Gary sat down
and firmly crossed his legs.

Later, after
the boy had changed out of the smelly tramp clothes and showered, everyone went
for a Chinese buffet along the Golders Green Road, Beetie amusing them all with
her valiant attempts to use chopsticks. They returned to the B & B and
watched a third-rate movie on telly, although Gary merely stared at moving
figures on the screen, heard without listening strings of words that registered
nothing in his head as he thought of the night ahead.

‘
It has to
be
,’
she said.
What has to be
?
Is it what I think… or what
I want to think?

His whole body
seemed on fire set alight by the girl sitting beside him.

“Should turn
in now,” said Mr O’Driscoll when the movie was finished. He stretched and
yawned with exaggerated theatricality. “Good night, you two young things!”

He winked at Gary
and for the first time Gary
realised his dad understood him better than he understood himself. He felt a
surge of fondness for the man and barely managed to suppress the urge to jump
up and hug him. He regretted not having talked more to his dad about his
thoughts, his feelings… about girls… about sex. His mum said nothing.
Tight-lipped, she followed her husband out of the room, leaving Beetie and Gary
alone.

Gary turned
off the telly. Beetie sat with her eyes fixed on the floor but looking at
nothing in particular. She glanced nervously up at the boy.

“Will it
hurt?” she asked again.

Hurt? How
would I know?
Hurt Beetie? No, no, I can’t do it. Can’t go through with
this. Mike, oh Mike, what should I do? Oh Beetie, for Christ’s sake please
don’t cry.

Tears streamed
down the girl’s pale cheeks. Gary took her in his arms and kissed those tears,
tasting their salt, tasting the girl, and flames inside him leapt like fire
doused in petrol. He had the key to their room in his pocket,
their
room
for the night and the key to his future, Beetie’s future, the key to a destiny
he could no longer deny. He took her by the hand and led her up the stairs,
opened the door, and they entered, hand-in-hand. He closed the door and shut
out the world, leaving the key in the lock. He and Beetie were at last totally
alone together. The flames roared, burning away the uncertainty, the guilt.

Guilt
?
His religion, pre-marital sex, the whole conundrum about contraception, confession…
these things hovered like wisps of mist at dawn, but soon vanished, leaving
only a hurricane of passion as he enveloped Beetie in his arms and kissed her
with a frenzy that frightened even himself.

“Will it?”
Beetie asked again when, arms still linked, their bodies finally separated.
“Hurt? The preparatory lesson the Chairman forced me to watch was so horrible.
I swore I’d never…”

The sick
bastard,
thought Gary, his anger fanning the flames of passion. He had no
idea why pain should be involved, but his knowledge of sex was limited to
biological details plus the intensity of unfulfilled desire for girls. Now it
involved Beetie, himself and an unquenchable fire in a strange bedroom. Did the
girl also have a fire inside her, he wondered?

“I could
never
hurt you, Beetie. Please,
please
don’t cry.”

Beetie
gesticulated at the en-suite bathroom.

“First I must…
um… take a shower. God said.”

Gary grinned.

“Yeah! Cool,
Beetie. A shower!”

“How, Gary?
I’ve never used one before. They only have shared bath-tubs in the Hatcheries.”

“Oh! Sure!
Erm… I’ll show you.”

She followed
him into the bathroom where he spent ages fiddling with the shower controls,
anxiously adjusting the temperature to perfection.

“Mustn’t burn
your…”

He turned. His
mouth remained open as the next word bounced around in his mind. Beetie stood
before him with nothing on at all… so shy... so unbelievably gorgeous.

“...your… erm…
skin,” he added in a whisper.

He’d seen
photographs of naked women, but in no way had they prepared him for the beauty
of the girl; they’d given him no answers as to how he should respond to the
turmoil this caused in his own body.

“Tell me if…
um... if the water’s too… er… h-h-hot,” he stuttered, his eyes trying not to
blink for fear of missing one split second of the heavenly vision.

Beetie smiled.

“I’m sure
it’ll be fine if you’ve checked the temperature yourself,” she said stepping
into the shower.

Okay, Mike.
I know what to do! Don’t think I don’t. Just because you only thought about Emma
Pearson’s tits and I... er... tits? Oh boy! Oh wow! Beetie’s tits!

He hurriedly
undressed, sat on the bed, once again trapping his swelling desire between
crossed legs, embarrassed by the effects unfettered thoughts had on that vital
appendage. Did he
really
know what to do? He heard the shower go off.
Beetie appeared in the doorway, dripping wet and giggling, water
glistening
her divine body.