The Telling (18 page)

twenty-nine

S aturday morning Lettie washed and dressed quickly, then went outside to check on the bird feeders, enjoying the way the meadowlarks, jays, and chickadees landed on them, pecked at the grains, and fluttered away. One lone blue jay eyed her from a nearby branch, as if gauging her proximity to the feeder. Soon he flew back for seconds, plucky enough to return, even though she stood near.
They feel safe here, sharing this peaceful spot.
Just as I do...

She liked to think of the morning feeding as a time of gathering, when the whole of the day stretched out before these beautiful, trusting birds.
A day with a clean slate.
“‘Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done,’” she whispered, giving up her will again to the Lord – relinquishing concern for the whereabouts of her daughter, too. Sometimes it was a twice-a-day occurrence, sometimes more. She’d carried the memory of her firstborn close to her heart for so long, it was difficult to fully surrender. Yet Lettie believed that by lifting her eldest child to the Father each and every morning, she was doing just that.

“I will never forget you, dear one,” she whispered to the breeze. “And I long to meet you... to know you... in God’s timing.”

Grace was both surprised and pleased to see Yonnie already sitting in the van when Martin Puckett came by to pick her up at the house. She secretly wondered if this was an answer to her prayer last evening.
Well, more of a wish than a prayer,
she realized.

“Fancy meeting
you
here,” Yonnie teased from his seat near the window in the middle row of seats.

“I was thinkin’ the same thing,” she said, unable to conceal her smile.

She slid in next to him, since there was another passenger up front – an Englischer – sitting with Martin. It seemed providential, because this way she and Yonnie could talk privately in Deitsch,
and Martin and the talkative older man would be none the wiser.

“How’re the youngest newborn lambs doin’?” asked Yonnie, his smile almost too wide for his handsome face.

Dat and her brothers hadn’t mentioned any problems. “Oh, fine... far as I know.”

“And your mother... is she settling in all right?”

She nodded, not sure how to answer.

“Wonderful-
gut
.”
But there was some hesitancy in his voice.

“Mamma is spending plenty of time now reading the Bible with Dat... more than ever,” she volunteered.

“My father always says the Good Book has healing power.”

“Jah, I believe that, too.”

Leaning closer, Yonnie said, “Ever hear a story about the man who decided to ride his horse backward so he wouldn’t be sidetracked by where he was going?”

“Nee.”

“That way he could pay closer attention to where he’d been instead.”

“Where’d ya hear this?”

“Don’t remember, really... but it made an impression on me.”

“Denki for sharing that,” she said quietly.

“For some folks, where they’ve been – the past – has important meaning for their present circumstance.”

“And for the future, too,” she replied, surprised at his perceptivity. She guessed he knew about her mother’s search for her child. Goodness, but she was glad Martin Puckett and his other passenger were involved in animated conversation up front!

“Oh, definitely for the future,” he said.

She fell silent, pondering the significant things he’d conveyed in such few words.
He’s so interesting,
she thought, folding her hands in her lap.

The sunlight played off the windshield of the van. She turned to look out her window, thinking just then of the changing ocean tides – and the way Mamma’s confession might drastically alter her friendship with Yonnie. “Have you ever heard of folks who live near the ocean... who can feel the actual moment when the tide changes?” she asked timidly.

He looked at her with a quizzical expression. “Honestly, Gracie, I have! And I’ve never known of anyone else who thinks about such things... at least out loud.”

She smiled. “Well, I read this somewhere, and I really love the idea.”

He slipped off his straw hat. “You just keep surprisin’ me.”

Grace laughed softly, letting her imagination fly. What if someday she and Yonnie could visit the ocean and walk along the water, watching the tide creep farther and farther ashore? Might they be able to sense the moment when the tide reversed?

“Will you be at the next Singing?” he asked, sounding more serious now.

A lot would depend on how things went with Mamma’s confession, but she certainly didn’t want to mention it now. He might not want to have a thing to do with her following that membership meeting. “I’ll have to see” was all she said, even though she thought it would be great fun to see him at the barn gathering.

“Well, I hope you’ll be there.” He put his hat back on. “Don’t be a stranger, jah?”

She couldn’t help smiling again.

When the van arrived at the Pucketts’ house, she waited for Martin to open the van door to let her out. “Good-bye,” she said to Yonnie. “Have a
gut
day.”

“You too,” he replied.

Walking to the house, she couldn’t get over their many mutual interests... and the way they always found so much to talk about. But for the time being, Grace must set her mind on a layout for Janet Puckett’s herb garden.

Heather checked her email and gulped when she saw a message from Devon Powers.

Hey, Heather!

How’s life? I’ve been thinking about us lately. Really hope you’ll overlook my stupidity.

I was wrong... can we talk? Write back when you can.

Missing you, babe –

Devon

She could hardly believe her eyes. “How dare you! You can
not
breeze in and out of my life,” she whispered. Yet it was impossible not to remember the happy times they’d shared – biking along the Virginia Beach boardwalk, going to movies together – before he was shipped off to Iraq with his National Guard unit. And then the onslaught of the literally thousands of emails they’d exchanged over the months when he was so lonely and missing her.
Before my diagnosis
. She’d never told him about the cancer that propelled her to Amish country to see Dr. LaVyrle Marshall.
You bailed on me when I needed you most, Devon....

He’d dropped her like a stone for someone else, and now here he was, back in touch. The presumptuous correspondence triggered more queasiness in her, and just when she’d started to feel better, too: But
this
reaction had nothing to do with the cleanse. It was a knee-jerk response to a guy who hadn’t a clue about women.
He needs to get a life... and without me!

It was impossible not to compare his clueless email with the prayer Jim had sent. She’d read the prayer aloud so many times, Heather had made it her own, letting the words flow over her before she fell asleep the last two nights.

She felt the old anger rising and quickly deleted Devon’s message. Then, going into Settings, she blocked his email address and felt instantly better.
There... no more weirdness,
she thought with a huge sigh.

She muttered to herself while she showered, refusing to let the unexpected email tamper with her emotions. Devon’s wretched self-centeredness only made Jim’s sweet-spirited correspondence all the more endearing.

thirty

I mmediately upon stepping into the Pucketts’ house that morning, Grace noticed how well organized Janet was – everything seemingly in its place. This being the first time she’d met their favorite driver’s wife, Grace enjoyed getting acquainted.

After a glass of iced tea, Janet led her outside to the already-tilled rectangular plot – the location of the future herb garden. Grace would lay it out today and, next week, help plant it with Janet.

“How’d you know of my keen interest in herbs?”

Janet’s eyes twinkled as she pushed her hair back. “Your father mentioned something to Martin a while back.”

“Dat sure enjoys talkin’ to him,” Grace said. She stood beneath the shade of a sturdy maple and made a sketch of the projected garden. Front and center in the sunny plot was a spot for the sweet bay, as well as the garlic chive, American marigold, rosemary, and scarlet bee balm. She thought some plantings of butterfly milkweed would look pretty on either side of that midsection. There would be basil and oregano... and, of course, lavender. And to fill in the outer edges, Grace suggested chili pepper and English thyme, with cheddar pink, as well as teasel. Since mint was invasive, it would be confined to a second, much smaller plot in another corner of the yard. As would the dill weed, at the other end.

Janet asked where she’d learned about herbs, and Grace was quick to tell about Mammi Adah. “She’s been sharing her knowledge of herbs and their healing properties with me ever since I was a little girl.”

“She obviously taught you very well.” Janet sounded pleased.

By the time Grace stepped out of the area, she felt as light as a hummingbird’s wings. In the back of her mind, she thought of her ill friend and wondered if Martin might be willing to drop her off at the lodge for a visit.

I don’t want to miss a single day!

Grace was surprised to see Heather strolling along the roadside when Martin let her out at the lodge after noon. “Hullo, Heather,” she called, climbing out of the van.

“Grace... hey!” Heather waved.

Martin reminded Grace she owed him nothing, saying he’d let her father know when they’d have to start paying for transportation again. “Janet’s very happy with your work, Grace. We’ll see you again on Tuesday.”

“Glad I can help,” she said, thanking him again. Then she hurried up the road to Heather. “How are you?”

“Doing a little better. Thankfully, I’ve been busy with classes on food selection and meal preparation. LaVyrle wants us to be able to continue a healing diet when we leave here. So it’s crash course time for nutrition. I’ve still got lots to learn.”

Grace could see how important that would be after Heather’s struggles to get this far. She also sensed Heather wasn’t as interested in discussing what she was learning as she was distracted by something else. “You sure you’re all right?” she asked hesitantly.

Heather motioned for Grace to walk with her. “Yeah... I’ve just been thinking a lot about life lately. Mine’s certainly had a few twists along the way. My dad told me something pretty mind-boggling recently, and I’ve wanted to tell someone... especially someone here in Amish country.” She frowned a little, then looked at Grace. “And, well, I’d like to tell you first.”

Grace stiffened, wondering what Heather was about to say.

“I mentioned that I was adopted, but at that time I really didn’t know a lot about it. Dad gave me more facts just last week.” Heather went on to say her birth mother had been a teenager from Ohio. “She was Amish.”

“Really?” Grace found this not only surprising but interesting. “And to think we were just there, too!”

“Right. And, while I knew it then, I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything.” Heather stopped walking. “After all, that trip was about your mom... and you.”

“I wouldn’t have minded, really.”

“I know... which is what’s so terrific about you.”

Grace didn’t know how to respond to that, unaccustomed as she was to receiving compliments.

“It’s hard to understand how it happened... meeting a friend like you. I’ve never had much luck in that department.” Heather picked up the pace, and Grace matched her stride. “By the way, Sally Smucker said something about making strawberry jam at your grandmother’s next week. Any chance I could crash the party?”

“Why, sure – come on over,” Grace said, delighted, surprised at this – so out of character for Heather. “I’ll be at Eli’s, but don’t let that discourage you from goin’. I’d like for you to have a chance to meet more of the folks round here, ’specially my sister, Mandy.”

They talked awhile longer, then Heather looked at her watch. “I should head back soon for the next class.”

“Are you still on the fast?”

Heather nodded. “But my cravings for solid foods are beginning to subside, so that’s a big help, believe me.”

Grace was cautious about asking which foods Heather would be permitted to eat come Wednesday. Her friend must’ve sensed the question and began to describe Tuesday afternoon’s upcoming “break-the-fast feast,” featuring a salad of greens and homemade vegetable soup. That evening, brown rice and black beans would be served, along with baked corn chips and salsa. And a dessert – whole-grain banana bread with pineapple glaze topping. “Right about now, that sounds like a real banquet,” Heather admitted.

“I would guess so,” Grace said.

“By the way, there’s no need to keep to yourself what I told you about my Amish heritage. I’m proud of it... knowing you as I do, Grace.”

Grace was relieved to hear it. After all, she’d seen firsthand the pitfalls of secret keeping.

When Heather had thanked her for stopping by and gone back to the lodge, Grace walked home. She was still pondering the interesting tidbit about her not-so-English friend when she was met by Adam in the backyard, where he was slowly walking Willow. “Come with us... Willow’s been askin’ for you.” He smiled a sad sort of smile and patted the mare’s shoulder.

“She’s talkin’ to you now?” she joked. “What’s wrong with her?” She fell into step with her older brother and her favorite horse.

“Nothin’s wrong with Willow.”

She looked at him. “With you, then?”

He shrugged.

“Is this a guessing game?”

Adam wrinkled his nose. “Aw, Gracie, don’t be lippy.”

“Sorry, just thinking ’bout other things, I guess.” It was no excuse to be flippant. “What’s botherin’ you?”

He shoved one hand into his pocket, keeping the other on Willow’s lead. “Prissy’s all ferhoodled.”

“Again?” She tried not to laugh.

“Well... you know.”

“Honestly, I don’t. I ran into her at Eli’s recently, but she seemed herself – just fishin’ for information.”

He kicked a pebble aside as they walked to the stable. “She’s just so sure Mamma’s confession is goin’ to upset the fruit basket for us all.”

“She means it’ll upset it for
you
... for the two of you.”

“Could be.”

“Is her family puttin’ pressure on her to break things off with you?”

He turned swiftly. “Puh! Why would you say such a thing?”

“Because that’s what I think.”

“But, Gracie...”

“Since when can’t we speak frankly? We’ve always talked openly before.”

“Jah, before our mother ran off into the night. She never once stopped to think how all this would affect us, did she?”

She could see Adam was upset. “Maybe not. But how is any of what’s happened Prissy’s concern?”

Adam fell silent for a time as they approached Willow’s stall.

Then Grace asked, “Prissy doesn’t know ’bout... Mamma’s past, does she?”

He blew air out of his mouth. “Not from me, no. But she will soon enough – from Mamma, if she confesses.” He turned and stared at her, incredulous. “You must not understand what could happen a week from tomorrow, sister.” He frowned severely. “Do ya?”

“It’s my first members’ meeting for a kneeling confession... so, no.” She stiffened. What on earth did he mean?

“Our mother could be shunned if the membership doesn’t accept her confession – the worst thing that can happen to a church member.” Adam wore agonizing worry on his face.

She winced. Enough bad things had happened to their family already.

“And if Priscilla’s parents decide they don’t approve of her in-laws – Mamma, especially – they could step in.”

“And do what?”

“End the engagement,” he said flatly. He reached to open the stall, ushering Willow inside.

“Well... this isn’t an arranged marriage, is it?”

“Don’t be
lecherich –
ridiculous.” Bowing his head, he added, “Maybe this is why some couples run off to get married.”

“Elope?” Grace stroked the mare, who had turned and was looking right at them.

“Maybe so.” He reached for Willow’s mane.

“Ever think you could do better than Prissy Stahl?”

Adam gave her a glaring look. “Ever think of standin’ by your word?”

She cringed, knowing he meant Henry, but ignored Adam’s response. “Prissy will rule the roost, for sure.
Your
roost.”

“But that doesn’t merit a breakup, ’least not on my part. My word is
gut.
”

They were quiet for a time. Then Grace said, “Guess I spoke out of turn.”

“You don’t give her enough credit,” he said. “There’s a whole other side to Prissy that you don’t know.”

Grace didn’t know what to say to that.

Just then, she saw Dat and Mamma walking toward the meadow, hand in hand. “Lookee there,” she said, feeling suddenly warm inside. “Did ya ever think you’d see that?”

Adam shook his head.

“Appears to me like they’re fallin’ for each other – ’least deeper than they ever were before.”

“A long time comin’,” he said.

Grace kept watching their parents. “Don’t know what to make of it,” she admitted.

“Something happened to them while Mamma was gone,” Adam said, petting Willow gently.

“Maybe they’re tending to what they have, instead of wishin’ for what they don’t.”

“Mamma’s heart’s softer, that’s for certain,” Adam said.

“And Dat’s more talkative than ever... even affectionate. Both of them are ever so different.” She watched Dat slip his arm around Mamma and had to look away, lest she cry. “Whatever comes of the confession next week, I guess it’s not anything you can help, jah?”

“I sure don’t want to have to run away to get hitched with Prissy.”

“Then don’t.” The thought of missing out on her favorite brother’s wedding made her grit her teeth. “It’s a family day. We’ll all want to be there.”

Her brother’s face was set and hard. She thought she saw his chin quiver and realized Adam cared as much for Prissy as Dat loved Mamma. “Adam... no need to borrow trouble,” she said.

“Well, I can tell ya... there’s no way Mamma’s going to back down and not kneel before the congregation.” He left the stable, stepping into the brilliant sunshine. “That type of sin requires it.”

Grace understood something of Adam’s fear. She had been concerned over what might happen to her friendship with Yonnie, and he wasn’t even her beau.

Looking up at her brother, she slipped her arm through his and walked beside him, helping to bear the immensity of his burden.

Heather really did feel some better today. According to LaVyrle, her body was already well into the detox mode by this sixth day, sloughing off diseased cells. Only once that process came to an end could it replace the cancerous tissue with healthy new tissue.

Eager to document the day, she opened her laptop to her daily journal.

Day 6 of the Wellness Lodge

I’m more than halfway into my juice fast and feeling better than I’d ever thought possible, especially after my “near-death” day. My sleep is deeper and I have increased energy, even without eating solids!

Dad dropped by again tonight and showed me some digital pictures of the housing site. My outlook on the new home seems more positive, now that I’m over the worst of the detox. I don’t know why exactly, but I’m excited about seeing the house all framed in and the interior starting to take shape. With so many Amish workers swarming over the place, it might look like an ant colony. If I can finish my thesis in time, maybe I’ll drive back up here and check it out.

Dad stayed around for quite a while to talk with LaVyrle and me. I’ve agreed to caravan home with him a week from tomorrow, since his realtor wants to discuss staging the house so it will sell more quickly. That means I’ll get to stay at Sally Smucker’s from only next Wednesday through Saturday before heading home... but what a great add-on to what I’ve learned here!

It’ll be hard saying good-bye to LaVyrle – I expect Dad will be counting the days till his return. And by the way she hangs on his every word, I’m pretty sure she’ll be looking forward to seeing him again, too.

On top of everything else, Jim sent me an email asking if he could call me sometime. After some careful thought, I’ve decided to go out on a limb and say yes. I hope I don’t regret it....

I certainly don’t want to regret starting a search for my birth parents. Such a move might put a wrench in Dad’s happiness. I wonder what Grace would advise – she has such insight into other people, something I’ve always lacked. I really missed her after today’s short visit. Is this part of the detox process, too – desiring to connect with the human race... to make friends?

And why am I so taken with Grace, so totally unlike anyone I’ve ever known? Unless... is it possible I’m catching up for all the years I was never aware of my genetic roots? Maybe she’s exactly the sort of friend my first mom would wish for me....