The Taming of the Drew (28 page)

The big surprise was when Bianca drifted in with Tio.

She looked up, her hair falling back to her waist. “This is so cool,” she said.
 

Gonzo and Viola were last. Viola stood just behind Gonzo and patted Gonzo’s shoulder from time-to-time, the way a mom pats a fussy baby’s back without thinking about it. Gonzo seemed fixated on his shoes, not taking his eyes off them.

Finally, he said, “I still have to do the photo shoot with Celia, you know. You guys, you ought to know, she’s, well…”

We waited, feeling the ache coming off him, like day-heat seeping into the circle.
 

“I mean, she’s different,” he looked up, eyes anguished, “like us.” He darted a gaze between Drew and Bianca, and it was clear we Greenbacks all had the same thought, different like us, except for Bianca, and Drew.

Bianca stepped forward, one hand on her hip, “Well I can tell you one thing. I don’t feel one bit sorry for her.”

Gonzo said, his ears red and his mouth going tight, “That’s not what I meant.”

I stood up and he stopped talking. “No one ought to feel sorry for Celia. Feeling sorry is the worst thing possible. But I can promise you, she’s not getting away with this. I’ve got an idea how to handle this, but you guys are going to have to trust me. If I explain it, it’ll look staged and hokey. The question is — today at lunch — will you follow my lead?” I stopped, my shoulders rigid, my chest aching, thinking that all I had left was this, to keep going and stop Celia and save the trees, and save Drew.

They looked at each other and I realized they were thinking about it. Was I going to mess things up — again?

No longer was I the leader of the Greenbacks. We were, instead, a group of people, who chose to be together, who disagreed and argued and hurt each other’s feelings. But (and my stomach tightened at this thought) hopefully, still, chose to be together.

In the silence, Viola said, her voice admiring, “Oooh, Kate. You’re so Joan of Arc today.”

With a snorting laugh, I plopped down to the stump, like I didn’t have the strength to hold myself up any more, and dropped my head in my hands. I heard people shift closer and a hand patted my shoulder, then another one.
 

Eventually Helena said, “Kate, sweetie, tell us what the plan is. As much as you can.”

I sat up to find them staring at me, worried looks on their faces, even Drew’s.

“Celia’s coming to the circle at lunchtime.” There were looks of anger and distaste all around, like I’d violated a rule by telling her to meet us here, without asking the others. Silence fell again.

“And?” said, Phoebe.

“I’m going to talk her into not doing this.”
 

There were cries of
that’s the plan? you’ve got to be kidding, no way, this is Celia we’re talking about
.

“Let me at least try.” I said it with too much feeling and my voice cracked again and the whole circle went silent at once.

Bianca said, “Is there anything we can do?”

Here was the ugly part, where I knew Drew would hate me even more. I hadn’t planned to do this, but now that Bianca was here, I couldn’t risk losing everything by not having Bianca help us.

“The wild card in all this,” I said, “is Curtis and Nate. They can back our story, or back Celia. And Celia’s going to go to them, and ask for their help. Pretty soon, Curtis and Nate will figure out, really fast, that they have a lot of power. If, that is, they’re willing to pit us against Celia and see who offers them something interesting for their support.”

Bianca gave me a knowing smile, “Oh, yes,” she said. At the same time, the Dog rose like Godzilla behind me, his breath snorting in the sudden quiet. Tio turned a ticking-bomb glare at me and looked like the only reason he didn’t instantly explode was because he thought death would be too clean and quick a punishment for someone like me. And he may have had a point.

“Sit down,” Bianca said to the Dog.

“You are
so
not going to — “

“Are we starting this again, where you act like I’m a skank? What do expect, that I’m going to —
ack
— “ (she made a shoving her finger down her throat gesture) “give
Nate
a back-rub or something?”
 

Phoebe said, “Girl’s got a point. Seems like she can take care of herself. And a million other people at the same time. With one hand tied behind her back. Besides,” Phoebe added, her hand curling into a tight, white-knuckled fist, “come lunchtime, if all else fails, I can beat the crap out of Celia.”

We froze. Helena said to Gonzo, her voice low and careful. “Um, Gonz, how long?”

Gonzo did a quick calculation and answered, his voice filled with horror, “Over eight weeks.”

Bianca said, “What?” At the same time that Drew said, “Let me get this straight, am I thinking what you guys think you’re thinking?”

Everyone turned to him in confusion.
 

“She blows, right? There’s a guy like that on the team, a tackle. Too long without a sack and he loses it.”

Bianca looked totally baffled, Phoebe was shifting her jaw right and left with her eyes half-closed, like she was debating the merits of not waiting until lunchtime, and, instead, going after one of us for discussing her like this.

I gave a careful nod in Drew’s direction.

Drew stood, shook his head in disbelief and almost shouted. “Explain to me —
again
— why
none
of you people do sports?”

He turned to Phoebe and said, “You know how to play basketball?”

Phoebe gave him a measuring glare, “I was on the middle school team, but Uni didn’t want me.”

“Doesn’t mean you don’t play ever again,” He looked at his watch, “If you make it to the gym before me, I’ll give you a ten-point lead in a game of twenty-one.”

Phoebe looked stunned. “Gym’s open?”

“Every day before school,” he said, “Take care of my bag?” he asked me, bending to lace his tennis shoes. “You’re losing your lead,” he said, off-hand, to Phoebe.

Phoebe flung her bag at Viola, who nearly flattened underneath the blow, and took off.
 

Drew straightened and watched her sprint across the giant field.
 

“Basketball?” I said.

“Most physical contact sport, non-padded, in existence. Outside of boxing.” Some internal clock went ding and he took off after Phoebe.

We stood at the circle of trees and watched. He wasn’t giving her an inch. Even with a big head start, he was gaining on the Phoebes and it was going to be neck-and-neck who made it to the gym first.

“Should we be afraid for him?” Viola asked in a small voice.

After a pause, Helena asked, “Or Phoebe?”

“Who knows,” Bianca said, “Those two could take down the entire gym and all the people in it. If Disaster squads surround Uni, I’ll let you know who survived at lunch.”

With Drew and Phoebe headed off to the gym, I was grateful for the breather as we drifted to the school buildings. The experience in the clearing made me realize that my job, from now on until the last days of school were over, was to stay as far away (emotionally, if not physically) as I could from Drew.
 

He might figure it out. The whole thing.

Or, my heart did a double-back-flip with a sickening gainer and landed in a painful belly flop, one of the Greenbacks might tell him.

I stopped the group outside the Academy school doors and said, “Guys, I need a minute.”

One by one, they stopped talking and looked at me.

“We can’t tell Drew about the trees, that we’re trying to save them.”

“But why?” Helena said. “He’s not such a jerk any more. What do you care if he knows?” There was a tinge of frustration in her voice, like maybe she thought I was back to being controlling, and for no good reason.

Viola said, into the silence, “I think Kate’s been Pavloving. But now it’s Pavloved her.”

We turned to stare at her, my face a pink dawn of rising embarrassment.

Gonzo said, “What
are
you talking about?”

Viola said, her voice sharp with irritation, “What else? The Heisenberg uncertainty principle.”

We looked at each other.

Viola stamped her foot, and said, her voice an eerie echo of Drew’s, “Don’t
any
of you people take quantum physics?”

“Uh. No.” said Tio.

“Well, then,” Viola said, instantly deflating, “fine.”

I had both hands up, desperate to change the subject away from my “Pavloving” and to not waste the little time I had. “Listen, everyone, the reason we can’t tell him is precisely because he’s
not
being a jerk. If he found out, and wanted to help, or be a part of it — and you know very well he would, the way he is now — he’d get in trouble with the school over the trees and then he’d,” I cleared my throat, aware of the fact that my voice was too high and loud, “he’d get in trouble and there would be no recruiters, no football, maybe not even a graduation.”

“God,” said Tio, “She’s right. I can’t believe I almost forgot all that.”

“That’s cause he’s doing so well,” Viola said, with satisfaction, “from all the Pavloving.”

I snapped, “Will you
stop
with that?”

Everyone stared at me, Helena studying me, Tio making a slow smile, and I realized I might have revealed too much.
 

“Just
don’t
. Do you hear me? If you don’t want Drew crashing and burning —
don’t
. Don’t say a single word to him.”

Gonzo said, “Hey, chill. We get the point. It’s a valid one. I’ll even tell Phoebe.”

I stormed into the school, a bag in each hand.

As if my day wasn’t bad enough, there was a nasty picture, torn from a men’s magazine, crammed into the crack of my locker door, a smeared phone number scrawled across it in permanent marker. Great, now the Dino-Dog sleazes were after me at school.
 

And here I was, without a fly swatter.

Chapter 8

At brunch, I sat as far as possible from Drew, and I noticed that, in the opposite direction, so did Alex and Robin.

We chewed in silence, the others darting glances from one end of our group (me) to the other (Alex and Robin).

Drew glowered in the middle, his jaw looking like he was cracking nuts, instead of eating a Gonzo melt-in-your-mouth creation.

Toward the end of brunch, when it was almost time for Alex and Robin to do their going-to-the-bathroom trip, Drew leaned down the line of Greenbacks and said, “Hey, Robin, what do you think’s more appealing, a pitt or a depp?”

Food froze, halfway to mouths. Chewing screeched to a halt.
 

As if he didn’t notice we were paralyzed in horror, the Dog stood, sliding up the wall behind him. He put a hand in a pocket and sauntered down to the end of the line.

Robin said, glancing sideways at Alex and standing too, “Well, first, you have to take into account the Bowie factor.”

Drew rubbed his chin. “A new type?”

Robin gave Alex a hand up. Alex said, “Nah, more like a sub-type of depp. Bowie’s a sub-phylum that includes the full range of androgyny, everything from Beckham to Ezra Miller to Marilyn Manson.”

Robin added, “Don’t forget Tim Curry, Rocky Horror.”

Drew said, “Classic.” He seemed to realize we were all staring at him, and said, “What? Can’t I see a movie every now and then?” He turned back to Robin, “So what’s better for a guy to be, pitt or depp?”

Robin said, voice ringing with authority, “That’s obvious, a clooney.”

We all listened with bated breath.
 

“A clooney?” Drew asked, as they headed to the bathroom.

Alex said, “Sure, someone who shifts from pitt to depp. Sometimes even in the same scene. Take the Oceans franchise. Clooney’s a pitt with Julia Roberts, which is why he’s lost her, but a depp with the guys in the caper. Only at the end, when he merges both, does he succeed.”

“So what about women?” Drew shifted to make room so the three could walk abreast.
 

“You mean what they like better? That’s a kind of personal taste issue, isn’t it?”

“No, I mean, is there a depp-pitt thing for women.”

They stopped and looked at Drew like he was an idiot. Alex said, offended, “Of course there is. Aniston-jolie.”

“Ah,” said Drew.
 

We all leaned forward as they headed to the atrium, trying to not miss a word.

“See, that’s why the pitt-aniston thing was always doomed. There’s no yin-yang in that. But pitt-jolie, you can see how…” Their voices faded as they headed to the atrium.

All the remaining Greenbacks turned to stare at me.

“What?” I said, feeling defensive.

Tio said, “I bet Alex and Robin do a thesis on this in graduate school. You realize you’ve created a monster.”

Great. Another one.

***

We counted on the fact that it would take Celia more time to locate the circle, coming from Uni. We were all there, ranged around, sitting at the bases of the trees, waiting, when she showed. I sat on the stump by myself. At one tree, Bianca and Drew sat on either side of Tio.
 

Celia avoided looking at Gonzo, going so far as to stand almost sideways to talk to me over her left shoulder.

“I’m not an idiot,” Celia said, “I left the camera at home in a ziplock bag with a note to my parents saying if I disappear you guys should be arrested and sent to death row.”

Great. Nice to know we were starting on the right foot.

“So where are my pictures?”

“We can’t deal,” I said.
 

“Because I left the camera at home? I thought about that and we can set up a swap, me and one person, but not the Dog.”

Bianca glared at Celia.

“Or her,” Celia added.

I felt my fury inferno-ing inside me again and thought, oh honey, you have no idea who you’re dealing with, do you? Not if you think Bianca’s more pissed off than I am. But it was too late for Celia to get a clue. And too late for me to calm down.