The Talk of Hollywood (17 page)

The rawness, the sheer carnality of Jaxon’s lovemaking this morning, hadn’t allowed her to keep any of those barriers in place. He had stripped her down, emotionally as well as physically, and in doing so had sent all her barriers crashing to the floor, leaving her feeling vulnerable and exposed.

Oh, she didn’t believe Jaxon had deliberately set out to do that to her. In fact she was sure that he had no idea of exactly what he had done. But, whether Jaxon knew it or not, that was exactly what had happened. And Stazy needed space and time in order to rebuild those emotional barriers.

She forced herself to relax, and her expression was coolly dismissive as she looked up at him. ‘Is it being an actor that makes you so melodramatic, Jaxon?’ she drawled derisively.

‘It isn’t a question of melodrama—’ ‘Of course it is,’ she said easily. ‘You’re reading things into this situation that simply aren’t there. Yes, our behaviour this morning makes it a little awkward for us to continue working together, but—as I assured my grandfather earlier—I’m more than willing to do my part so that we finish the research as quickly as possible. After which time we can both get back to our
own totally different lives.’ She looked up at him challengingly.

At this moment the only thing Jaxon felt more than willing to do was carry out his threat to put Stazy over his knee and spank some sense into her! Or at least spank her until there was a return of the warm and sensual Stazy he had been with this morning!

Not going to happen any time soon, he acknowledged as he recognised the same cool detachment in her expression that had been there when they’d first met just over six weeks ago.

‘Shall we get on …?’ She pulled her chair out and resumed her seat at the table before looking up at him expectantly.

Jaxon looked down at her exasperatedly. He felt the return of all his earlier frustrations with this situation, appreciating how it had all seemed so much simpler when he’d been riding the country roads on the back of the Harley.

Obviously, he had reasoned, Stazy had been understandably dismayed by the unexpected arrival of her grandfather. But once she got over her surprise Jaxon was sure the two of them would be able to sit down and talk about the situation like the two rational human beings that they were.

Somewhere in all that thinking Jaxon had forgotten to take into account that Stazy as a rational human being could also be extremely annoying!

To the point where he now felt more like wringing her delicate little neck than attempting to talk with her rationally!

Had he ever met a more frustrating woman?

Or a more sensually satisfying one …?

Jaxon had made love with dozens of women during
the past fifteen years, but he knew that none of them had aroused him to the fever pitch that Stazy had this morning. To the point where he had been teetering dangerously on the edge just from the touch of her lips and fingers—

That way lies madness, old chum
, he told himself as he felt himself hardening again, just at thinking about having Stazy’s lips and tongue on him there.
Total insanity!

‘Fine, if you’re sure that’s the way you want it,’ he bit out tersely, and he moved to sit in the chair opposite hers.

It wasn’t the way Stazy wanted it at all. It was the way she knew it had to be. For both their sakes.

‘S
O
. T
HE
work’s done, and we can both leave here later this morning.’ Stazy kept her tone deliberately light as she looked across the breakfast table from beneath lowered lashes as Jaxon relaxed back in his chair, enjoying his second cup of coffee after eating what could only be described as a hearty breakfast. Unlike Stazy, who had only managed to pull a croissant apart as she drank her own cup of morning coffee.

No, that probably wasn’t the best way to describe Jaxon this morning—after all, it was the condemned man who ate a hearty breakfast, and on the morning of his departure from Bromley House Jaxon appeared anything but that!

It had been a long and stressful week as far as Stazy was concerned, with the long hours she had spent alone with Jaxon in the library by far the biggest strain. But only for Stazy, it seemed. Jaxon, when he hadn’t been secluded in the study with her grandfather, had been brisk and businesslike in her company, with not even a hint of a mention of the night they had spent together, let alone that conversation he had seemed so intent on the two of them having five days ago.

Her grandfather’s return to London late yesterday
evening hadn’t brought about any change in Jaxon’s distant manner either.

Had she wanted it to make a difference?

Stazy had no idea what she wanted, except she knew she found this strained politeness extremely unsettling!

Jaxon shrugged the broadness of his shoulders in the dark grey tee shirt he wore with faded blue denims. The heavy biker boots were already on his feet in preparation for his departure. ‘It’s over for you, certainly, but the real work for me—the writing of the screenplay—is only just beginning.’ He smiled ruefully.

Stazy’s heart did a little lurch in her chest just at the sight of that smile after days of strained politeness. ‘Can you do that while working on the pirate movie?’

He raised a dark brow. ‘I appreciate it’s a common belief amongst ladies that men can only concentrate on one thing at a time, but I assure you it’s just a myth! ‘

Stazy felt warmth in her cheeks at the rebuke. ‘I meant timewise, not mentally.’

‘I’ll cope,’ Jaxon drawled as he studied her from between narrowed lids.

Was it his imagination, or did the fine delicacy of Stazy’s features appear sharper than a week ago? Her cheekbones and the curve of her chin more defined, with dark shadows beneath those mesmerising green eyes?

Or was he just hoping that was the case? Hoping that Stazy had found the time the two of them had spent alone together these last five days as much of a strain as he had?

If he was, then he was surely only deluding himself—because there had certainly seemed to be no sign of that in her cool and impersonal manner towards him these past few days as the two of them had continued to
work together on Anastasia’s papers and diaries.
Frosty
had best described Stazy’s attitude towards him. In fact this was the first even remotely personal conversation they’d had in days. At five days, to be exact.

‘When do you expect to have finished writing the screenplay?’

‘Why do you want to know?’ Jaxon gave a derisive smile. ‘So that you can make sure you’re nowhere near if I should need to discuss it with Geoffrey?’

A frown appeared on her creamy brow. ‘I was merely attempting to make polite conversation, Jaxon …’

Jaxon had had it up to here with Stazy’s politeness! He stood up abruptly to move across the room and stare out of the window, the tightness of his jaw and the clenching of his hands evidence of his inner frustration. ‘As we’re both leaving here this morning, don’t you think you should start saying what you really mean?’ he ground out harshly.

Stazy watched him warily, sensing that the time for politeness between them was over. ‘I thought, for my grandfather’s sake at least, that the two of us should at least try to part as friends—’

‘Friends!’ Jaxon turned to look at her incredulously. ‘You can’t be so naive as to believe the two of us can ever be
friends!’
he bit out scornfully.

She knew that, of course. But nevertheless it was painful to actually hear Jaxon state it so dismissively.

‘Friends are at ease in each other’s company,’ he continued remorselessly. ‘They actually enjoy being together. And that certainly doesn’t describe the two of us, now, does it?’

Stazy clasped her hands together beneath the table so that Jaxon wouldn’t see how much they were trembling. ‘I’m sorry you feel that way—’

‘No, you’re not,’ he contradicted scathingly. ‘You’ve wanted me to feel this way. Damn it, you’ve done everything in your power to push me away!’

She shook her head in denial. ‘It was what you wanted too—’

‘You have absolutely no idea what I want!’ he rasped, grey eyes glacial.

‘You’re right. I don’t.’ She swallowed hard, her expression pained. ‘Nor is there any point in the two of us discussing any of this when we will both be leaving in a few hours’ time.’

‘I’m not waiting a couple of hours, Stazy.’ He gave a disgusted shake of his head. ‘My bag is already packed, and I have every intention of leaving as soon as we’ve finished this conversation,’ he assured her hardly.

He spoke as if he couldn’t tolerate being in her company another moment longer than he had to, Stazy realised. It was a realisation that hurt her more than she would ever have believed possible.

Her chin rose proudly. ‘Then consider it over.’

Jaxon stared at Stazy in frustration, knowing he wanted to shake her at the same time as he wanted to pull her up into his arms and kiss her senseless.

Where the hell was the vulnerable woman he had held in his arms all night long because she had been so worried about her grandfather? The same warm and sensuous woman who had responded so heatedly to his lovemaking the following morning?

Did that woman even exist or was she just a figment of his imagination …?

Jaxon had found himself wondering that same thing often when, time and time again, day after day, he had been presented with that brick wall Stazy had built so sturdily about her emotions.

And now, the morning of his departure, when he might never see Stazy again, really wasn’t the time for him to try to breach those walls one last time.

He nodded abruptly. ‘In that case. I hope you enjoy your trip to Iraq.’

Stazy no longer had any real interest in going on the dig she had once looked forward to with such professional excitement. No longer had any real interest in doing
anything
with the rest of her summer break now that the time had come to say goodbye to Jaxon … Which was ridiculous. He had no place in her life—had made it perfectly clear during these last few minutes that he didn’t
want
a place in her life! So why should just the thought of Jaxon leaving, the possibility of never seeing him again, have opened up a void inside her she had no idea how to fill?

It shouldn’t. Unless—

No …!

Stazy stopped breathing even as she felt the colour draining from her cheeks. She couldn’t possibly have fallen in love with Jaxon this past week?

Could she …?

The threatening tears and the deep well of emptiness inside her just at the thought of never seeing him again after today told her that was exactly what she had done.

Had she ever done anything this stupid in her life before? Could there
be
anything more stupid than Dr Stazy Bromley, lecturer in Archaeology, falling in love with Jaxon Wilder, A-list Hollywood actor and director? If there was then Stazy couldn’t think of what that something could possibly be!

The best Jaxon could think of her was that she had been a temporary and no doubt annoying distraction
while he’d been stuck in the depths of Hampshire for a week doing research. She didn’t even want to dwell on the worst Jaxon could think of her …!

She swallowed before speaking. ‘I wish you an uneventful flight back to America.’

He gave a rueful shake of his head. ‘It seems we’ve managed to achieve politeness this morning, after all!’

And if that politeness didn’t soon cease Stazy very much feared she might make a complete fool of herself by giving in to the tears stinging the backs of her eyes. She stood up abruptly. ‘If you’ll excuse me? I have to go upstairs and finish packing.’

No, Jaxon
didn’t
excuse her—either from the room, or from instigating the strained tension that had existed between the two of them these past five days. If it hadn’t been for the buffer of Geoffrey’s presence then Jaxon knew, research or not, he would have had no choice but to leave days ago.

Damn it, what did it take to get through—and stay through!—that wall of reserve Stazy kept about her emotions? Whatever it was, he obviously didn’t have it.

He breathed his frustration. ‘Will you attend the English premiere with your grandfather when the time comes?’

She blinked. ‘Isn’t it a little early to be discussing the premiere of a film that hasn’t even been written, yet let alone made …?’

Probably—when the earliest it was likely to happen was the end of next year, more likely much later than that. Jaxon had arranged his work schedule so that he could begin filming
Butterfly
in the spring of next year,
and after that there would be weeks of editing. No, the premiere wouldn’t be for another eighteen months or so.

And there was no guarantee that Stazy would attend.

Did it really matter whether or not she went to the premiere? At best the two of them would meet as polite strangers, if only for her grandfather’s sake. At worst they wouldn’t acknowledge each other at all other than perhaps a terse nod of the head.

And that wasn’t good enough, damn it!

‘Stazy, I don’t have to go back to the States for several more days yet if.’

‘Yes?’ she prompted sharply.

He shrugged. ‘We could always go away somewhere together for a couple of days.’

Stazy eyed him warily. ‘For what purpose?’

‘For the purpose of just spending time alone together, perhaps?’ he bit out impatiently. ‘Something that’s been impossible to do since your grandfather arrived back so unexpectedly.’

‘Oh, I believe we’ve spent more than enough time alone together already, Jaxon!’ she assured him ruefully.

He scowled darkly at her coolness. ‘What have you done with that night we spent together, Stazy? Filed it away in the back of your mind under “miscellaneous”, or just decided to forget it altogether?’

Stazy flinched at the scorn underlying Jaxon’s tone. As if she could
ever
forget that night in Jaxon’s arms! Or what had happened the following morning.

Or the fact that she had fallen in love with him.

A love Jaxon didn’t return and never could. A love she wasn’t sure she could hide if, as Jaxon suggested, they were to spend several more days—and nights!—alone together.