The Taliban Don't Wave (9 page)

“Captain Rob,” I said to the ANA officer and placed my right hand over my heart. “
Ah salaam ah'laikum.
” While on tour around Afghanistan, I had decided to call myself
Captain Rob
, knowing that nobody pronounced my last name correctly anyway, and that
Rob
would be easier for everyone. The officer spoke to Ali and then shook my hand.

“He says his name is Lieutenant Aziz,” Ali said, standing beside me. “He asks where his men are supposed to place their equipment.”

“In this building right here, for a start. The outgoing ANA are moving out today, so there will soon be enough room for his men.” I paused to give Ali time to translate. “Please ask Lieutenant Aziz how many men from the First Company will be arriving.” I looked over at the warrant, Hetsa, and Fourneau, who were watching the ANA dump their kit all over the place.

“He says there will be one hundred and fifteen, maybe one hundred and thirty, if they find some of their men who have run away. In the next few days, there will be around fifty turning up. His OC, Captain Shafiq Ullah, will not be here until next week; he is still on leave. Lieutenant Aziz is the executive officer [the ANA used the American system of rank and titles for their companies] so he will be in charge until Captain Shafiq Ullah arrives. Another officer, Lieutenant Azmar, will be here later today.”

“Great. Please tell him thank you, it was nice to meet him, and to come by for
chai
[tea] or coffee any time.” Ali translated, we shook hands, and we walked off as the ANA began shouting at each other. I looked at the ANA and realized that the outgoing ANA were loading up steel bunk beds into the backs of their trucks, and the incoming ANA had just caught them red-handed.
Nice.
I could foresee massive fisticuffs over who gets the kitchen sink and who gets left with the dirty dishes!

I asked Ali over to my building for a friendly talk. Even in the late afternoon, and in a bit of shade, it was still stupid hot. I excused myself for a moment and walked into Stephens's building, going over to their fridge. I said hi to the boys. The Wizard was at the computer with Warrant Joe, and Fourneau was watching Hetsa and Mike playing an Xbox game. I grabbed two bottles of water and headed back outside to my interpreter.

“The ANA don't seem too keen to go out on patrols,” I said, wiping the sweat from my forehead and the dust off my sunglasses.

“The truth is, sir . . .” Ali hesitated for a moment, unsure whether or not he should continue.

I saw the opening I'd been after ever since I'd met him, so I took it. “Ali, no matter what, you and I will always tell each other the truth. We must trust each other. You can tell me things, and I promise I won't repeat them to the ANA. I have to know what's going on here. I have to know the truth, or I can't do my job properly. In war, not being able to trust each other could get us all killed.” I looked at Ali with a very serious expression, hoping he'd get my point.

“I understand, sir. Yes, I will always tell you the truth. It is like this, sir. I have worked with these ANA before and I know many of them are very tired. Lieutenant Azmar, the other officer who will be arriving, has been fighting since he was a small child; first against the Russians, now against the Taliban. They have seen many sad things. They have seen their friends killed very badly. Many of their families have been murdered by the Taliban. They
were
angry and mad, but after so many years of fighting, they are tired. They are worn . . . through?”

“Worn out.”

“Yes, sir, they are worn out. And they are scared when they have to work with new Canadians. You have come here, and you want to find the enemy and kill him. But that puts everyone at risk. You, your men, and the ANA who are with you.”

“That's the job, and my men and I accept those risks!” I said, not feeling too sympathetic. It was our mission statement, and I felt it was the only way we'd ever win this war. The Taliban didn't
want
to negotiate. They didn't want peace. They wanted the Afghan national government's unconditional surrender, and then they wanted to set up their daily beheading schedule at the soccer stadium again.

“Yes, sir, that
is
the job. But many of them do not want to do it anymore. They just want to live. They do not want to take risks, they do not want to die. They have a good wage, very good for Afghanistan, and they just want to do the bare . . .”

“Minimum.”

“Yes, and survive. That is all. They are afraid that you are new here, you will not understand what they have been through, and you will get some of them killed, and then you get to go home. But they are still here.” Ali looked at me apologetically, as though he had said too much.

I thought for a long moment and then said, “Yeah, I think I get what you're saying, Ali.”
That made sense, from an Afghan perspective, I suppose.
“Well, if they ever ask you, you can tell them I said this: ‘Captain Rob will never ask
them
to do something that
he
will not do. When they go to find the enemy and fight, he will be right there beside them, the whole time, taking the same risks they are.' I want peace for this country, Ali. I don't want to come back here again. I want you and your family to live in a country where you can do what you want, say what you want, and
be
what you want to be. That is what all of us are here for, to help your country get to that point. But we have to find and stop the Taliban first, or there will never be peace here. It will be civil war, all over again, with no end in sight. And Ali . . . I want to live
too
! I have a beautiful wife and an incredible baby girl who I want to see again.”

No one ever accused me of being the world's brightest guy, but I could see what he meant. They'd been at this a lot longer than me, and when I left, they'd still be here. That is, of course,
if
they were still alive.

No benefits were paid to their families if they were killed. They didn't get any compensation for limbs lost in the line of duty. No insurance was ever paid out; in fact, their families wouldn't even get any help with the funeral costs.

I thanked Ali for the talk and sat in the hot shade, thinking to myself,
How am I supposed to mentor soldiers who don't want to fight anymore?

Chapter 4

The next morning everyone continued their handovers, eager to wrap the long process up. The warrants kept signing over paperwork, while Hetsa and Fourneau met with their opposite numbers to figure out what their jobs entailed in Sperwhan. I went with Stephens to the major's battle update briefing (BUB) and met all of the outgoing officers. We listened as the major and his int sergeant briefed us on the last twenty-four hours of activity in our area of operations.

Later that morning, Stephens and I talked over a large map on the wall of his OMLT shack. He showed me where they'd been almost slaughtered in a three-sided Taliban ambush west of the base. Several ANA were immediately wounded, so everyone had to pull back, and they were chased all the way back to Sperwhan. Then they got engaged by the ANA quick reaction force, which arrived in trucks and confused the Canadians and ANA with the Taliban. The ANA QRF fired on them, but luckily, no one got hurt.

It was a harrowing story, and to hear it first-hand from the commander on the ground brought chills to my spine. They were incredibly fortunate, and they knew it. Ever since that day, their ANA had refused to patrol to the west, past the 29 Easting on the map. The “29 Easting” (a line on the map labeled “29”) started to take on a mythical importance to the ANA; it was like their maps were labelled, “There be dragons!” Forever after that ambush, the ANA refused to cross that line on the map, for fear of suffering a repeat performance.

I was sharing the story with Warrant Longview over lunch when a runner from the CP sprinted up to us and wanted to know if we were the new OMLT team on the ground.

I said we were, and he quickly informed us that snipers had just seen someone plant an IED in the middle of Route Brown, only a few minutes ago.

I wondered aloud why Timothy hadn't had the top part of his head shaved off by the snipers and then I answered my own question.
Let me guess . . . they weren't allowed?

“They requested permission to fire, sir, but by the time the major was found and started asking the snipers questions over the net, Timmy had finished and packed up. Can you come with me, sir, to the CP? The OC Major Bane wants to brief you.”

“Crom's bones, man,” I snapped, “There's no time for that! We're men of action, and enough time has been wasted as is! Isn't it obvious what we've got to do? Cordon off Route Brown to stop any civvies from blowing themselves up, and then go and kill or capture Timothy! We'll go and mobilize our ANA and get out there, ASAP. Tell Major Bane to push us the engineers and then sit back and enjoy the show!”

I turned and started jogging back to our shack, hoping the warrant was following me. Longview jogged up and slapped me on the back and said, “Well said, sir. We can sit around here and talk to death, or we can go kick some ass!”

“Roger that, Warrant. This isn't the time for committee—groupthink—this is the time for unilateral, decisive action! Get the boys kitted up and I'll meet you at our wank pits. I'm going to get Ali so we can assemble the Justice League.” With that, I ran up to Ali's door, knocked rapidly on it, and told him to grab his helmet and body armour and follow me, quickly. He grabbed his kit and we jogged over to Lieutenant Aziz's building, right next to ours. He was outside, watching the rest of my team as they ran past him and into our building, his dark beard probably hiding a confused look on his weathered face.

“Lieutenant Aziz, I know you said you would be ready to go on patrol tomorrow, but we need some of your men right now. They think the Taliban have just planted an IED on the main road, not far from here, and we have to go now before any villagers get hurt by the bomb.” Ali was translating as I was still speaking.
Damn, he's good at that.

Aziz seemed to think it over quite seriously and then said, “I will come with you and bring fifteen of my soldiers.”

“That's great, thank you. We need to leave in the next five minutes. Can you and your men be ready?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Okay, I'll meet you right here. Ali, go back to your room and get your helmet and vest on and then wait for me here. Oh, and say your prayers!” I turned and ran the fifteen feet to my building. Stephens popped his head out of his shack.

“What's going on?” he asked.

“IED on Route Brown, we're going to cordon it off.”

“Good luck,” and with that, he turned to close the door.

“Thanks.”
It's our show now, and by the mighty Ganesha's trunk, Timothy ain't gonna know what hit 'im!
I ran inside to my bed in the back corner and grabbed my kit. I had it all laid out, for just this sort of emergency, and was kitted up in under thirty seconds. “Dress me, Hetsa!” I said, turning around so he could clip up my tac vest.

“All right boys, here's the plan. Basically, Lieutenant Aziz is coming with fifteen ANA; it's not enough, but it'll have to do. Remember, the snipers have been right every time, so we trust their judgement [
Unlike certain other people
, I thought to myself]. We know Timothy's out there, so stay switched on and watch each other's six. We'll
didi mau
close to the IED, get the snipers to guide us near it, then get Aziz to put his men in some semblance of a cordon, hopefully around the IED, not on it! The battle group will then push out some LAVs and the engineers to us. Questions?” I looked into their eyes, but they were good to go.

“Negative, sir. Let's do it,” Longview said.

Hetsa shouted, “Dress me, sir!” and raised his arms and spun around so I could get his clips. I snapped them in and my Para training took over as I slapped him on the shoulder and shouted, “Four, okay! All right, PRR check.” I clicked the team pressel and said, “Red five, standing by!”

Longview said, “Red six, standing by,” a big grin on his face. Men like him were called from on high to be soldiers.

“Red seven, standing by,” Fourneau said, looking a bit grim.

Hetsa, however, was all smiles, “Gold leader, standing by!”

“Ya had to ruin it, didn't ya?” I asked. I didn't want to tell him that at the end of
Star Wars
Episode IV, Gold Leader was killed in action. “Okay, let's get this flying gong show on the road.” I led us outside, and the second I cleared the door I chambered a round, making my rifle ready to fire as I whispered, “Sing for me, baby!” and then slung it around my back so I could make my 9mm gat of justice ready to fire. We walked over and saw Lieutenant Aziz getting into his kit while Lieutenant Azmar (the newly arrived third-in-command officer) simultaneously helped him and shouted at some nearby ANA. I nodded at Aziz to let him know the Canadians were ready as we walked past him toward the open area. I radioed the CP, whose call sign was “two” on the battle group network, or “net” for short. “Two, this is Seven Two Alpha, radio check, over.”

“Two, reading you loud and clear, over.”

“Seven Two Alpha, roger, our call sign is figures zero four Canadians, figures one six Alpha November Alpha; we are heading to the main gate now, over.” I grabbed Ali by the shoulder, looked him in the eye, and said, “Stay right next to me, the whole time. Don't wander off. If anything happens, get into cover and stay down, okay?”

“Yes, sir,” he said, coming up alongside me. I knew he'd seen a lot of combat with Stephens's OMLT team and was good to go.
Or was he tired and sick of it all too?

The command post cut in and said, “Two, roger, Seven Two Alpha is four times Canadians, one six times Alpha November Alpha, over.”

“Seven Two Alpha, roger, out to you.” I knew the snipers would be monitoring the battle group net so I radioed them, as well. “Six Six, this is Seven Two Alpha, has there been any recent activity at the IED, and where is it located? Over.”

“Six Six, negative, no activity; it is located in the
middle
of Route Brown, between culverts one and two, over.”

“Seven Two Alpha, roger, pretty ballsy of 'em! How many FAMs planted the device, and what was the nature of the device? Over.” Aziz was corralling his men, and our two groups started walking quickly past the sandbag emplacements toward the sloping hill to our west. Some ANA were sent back to their buildings by the ANA sergeant major to get missing kit like their helmets, while others ran out to join us.

I spoke out loud so the group would hear me. “Remember that once we crest this hill going down, they've got eyes on. They'll know that we know that they know we're coming! Fourneau, say that five times fast!” I said, hoping to cheer him up. Judging by the dour look on his face, I thought that Phobos, the ancient Greek god of fear, was probably creeping around in the shadows of his mind, ready to pounce.

The sniper spoke confidently over the net. “Six Six, three times FAM, headed west, lost sight of them, no weapons seen. They planted what looked like a large howitzer shell in the middle of the road, over.”

“Alpha, roger that, three times FAM planted howitzer-type IED between culverts one and two and then headed west. Any civilians in vicinity of device? Over.”

“Six Six, negative, no civilian activity, no activity
period
near the device, over.”

“Alpha, roger, keep us advised, over.”

“Six Six, done and done, over.”

“Alpha, cheers big ears, out to you. Two, this is Seven Two Alpha, over.”

“Two, send over.”

“Alpha, departing the wire at the front gate now, figures five mikes to reach the suspect device, over.” I turned to my men. “Warrant, you and the dirty Hungo head off with those guys on the right; Fourneau ‘the Fornicator' and I will stay on the left with the good lieutenant.” They quickly jogged over to join the ANA speed marching down the ditch. In their eagerness they marched past the ANA in the lead, so now they were the first troops to cover the ground.
Not good. What did I say about letting the ANA go first?
I spoke over the PRR net. “Warrant, that ditch hasn't been cleared, let the ANA go first, just point them in the right direction, then fall in behind them.”

The warrant responded, “Roger, sir,” and although he didn't sound impressed with me, he slipped to the side and signalled the ANA to pass him and Hetsa as Aziz led our ten-man group into the ditch on the left of Route Brown. I stepped out of line and scanned through my three-times magnification rifle scope. I could see down the ditch only to my front, not to the west, because there were too many high walls and trees.
Nothing in front of us.
No activity of any kind.
Timothy could easily pop over the walls to our left and give us an old-school pasting before we'd even know what happened.
Keep an eye on it and crack on.

I quickly spoke to Ali, who looked like a child soldier now that he was wearing his armoured vest and helmet. I asked him to tell Lieutenant Aziz what was going on. Then I remembered that Fourneau could hear only my side of the conversations I had with the battle group CP, so I quickly explained to him what was being said over their net.
Knowledge Dispels Fear
was the motto of the RAF instructors who taught me how to jump from planes, and they were right. If I was in Fourneau's shoes, I would've wanted my officer to keep me in the loop.

We marched quickly toward the first of the culverts. I pressed my PRR button and said, “Easy Warrant, I think you're coming up to it. See if there's a pathway going off to the east towards the ville that you could task a couple of ANA to block.”

“Roger, sir,” he responded, looking to his right.

“Six Six, this is Seven Two Alpha, are we almost there? Over.”

“Six Six, roger. Your first ANA are just coming up to it . . . now, over.”
If the Taliban know we're on to them, they'll probably blow it any second now.

“Seven Two Alpha, roger. Any activity to the west? Over.”

“Six, negative, you're all clear, over.”

“Seven Two Alpha, this is Two-niner, over.” Major Bane's voice cut in.

“Seven Two Alpha, send over.”

“Two-niner, we are sending you a QRF platoon with LAVs and engineers. Cordon off the device and stand by, over.”

“Seven Two Alpha, roger, over.”

“Two-niner, out.”

Well that was some good news. The LAVs would act as a strong deterrent to anyone wanting to have a go at us, and the 'geers would take care of the IED.

But the major cut into my transmission with call sign Six Six. I had to let the snipers know that I had heard their last transmission. “Six Six, this is Seven Two Alpha, I ack [acknowledge] your last, over.”

“Six, roger out.”

I spoke over the PRR and briefed Fourneau and Hetsa on the major's update, then asked Ali to tell Lieutenant Aziz about the plan. I looked at Aziz—he didn't really seem to know what was going on. Surely he'd done hundreds of cordons before.
That's all we ever did in Northern Ireland. In this place? I bet he's done a thousand!

“Ali, please ask Lieutenant Aziz where he would like to place his men to form the cordon.” Ali quickly translated.

“He does not know what you mean, sir.”

Okay . . .
“Well, I recommend he places his men all around the device. Someone at the twelve o'clock position, someone at three o'clock, six, nine . . . you know. We need to put up a protective cordon around it and make sure no one goes in toward it. We need to block the roads. Please explain that to him.” Fourneau and I looked at each other, not really sure what to make of it all.

Ali then asked me, “He would like to know, where do
you
think they should go?”

“Well, uh, like I said, I would recommend that he places his guys at the twelve, three, six, and nine o'clock positions, but I recommend that . . .”

The sniper quickly spoke over the net. “Alpha, Six, be advised, you've got . . .” I looked at the road.

“Hey, you! Stop! DON'T GO NEAR IT!” I shouted at one of the ANA who had casually walked right up to the spot where the IED was buried. I guessed he was eager to shed mortality's oppressive yoke. “Ali, tell him to get the hell away from it!” I radioed the warrant, “Wizard, muckle on to that idiot before he gets us all killed!” I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I owed the snipers a courtesy call for their timely heads-up. “Six, Alpha, thanks, over.”