The Tainted (The Tainted Series Book 1) (11 page)

When he wasn’t in his office, Maverick would come watch the others train. Occasionally, he’d jump in and use his own gift if it appeared Trysten might need some help, but lately he was spending increasingly less time with the crew.

Rebecca looked up to see Maverick staring at her from across the opening. It had been almost two weeks since they’d talked in the woods, and though nothing physical had happened, somehow a closer bond had formed between them. They were now meeting up with each other every chance they could get. Sometimes they would talk, share stories, and laugh together, but recently they’d become fond of simply sitting in silence, holding each other’s hand.

They worked very hard to keep their rendezvous a secret. However, with invisible Tysten a constant threat around the house, Maverick was beginning to grow uneasy.

In order to keep themselves hidden from the others, they agreed instead to meet out at the rock in the early mornings. Rebecca’s dreams were growing more intense, and her ability to control them, to be able to wake herself from them, was rapidly declining. Whenever she’d awake in a cold sweat before dawn, she’d sneak from her room and silently make her way out to the garden. Every time, without fail, Maverick would be waiting for her along the path, as if he’d somehow sensed her distress. Together, they’d sit on the rock until sunrise, silently listening to the stillness of the forest.

Maverick would hold her close, the heat of his body soothing her pain. She felt safe in his arms, as if all her stress and fear were taken away. As soon as his strong arms enveloped her, all the tension in her muscles and the anxiety in her mind would melt away.

Still, even as he held her so close, she could feel a wall between them. There was obviously something more than friendship in their embrace, yet Rebecca could always feel the hesitation in Maverick’s demeanor, as if he would never completely open himself up to her. Rebecca hated how weak he made her, but her longing to be around him overruled the ache she felt in her chest every time she sensed him pulling away.

“What’s got you looking so concerned, Becs?”

Rebecca snapped back to reality to find Faolan leaning up against the tree opposite her.

“Faolan!” she exclaimed, her depressing train of thought completely forgotten. “You’re back!” Rebecca pushed off of her tree and ran to her friend.

Hearing her shout, the rest of the crew stopped training and quickly came over to join them.

“Welcome back,” Owen said with a giant smile.

“We missed your long, deep silences,” laughed Aeden.

Faolan raised an eyebrow at the pair, but allowed herself a small smile.

“You’ve been gone so long, you must be starving,” Etain came right up to Faolan and placed a hand on her arm. “It’s nice to have you back.”

Faolan was about to respond when Maverick joined the group. A tense look that was almost too fast to notice passed between them before Faolan turned her attention back to Etain.

“Thank you, but I’m alright. I’ll meet you all for dinner this evening.” Then, without another word, she turned and headed toward the house. As she left, the rest of the group made their way back toward the training field--except for Maverick. He remained still, standing no more than a foot away from Rebecca. When the crew was out of earshot, he began to speak, though he kept his eyes firmly on the crew as they continued to walk away.

“I’m going to go get a full report from Faolan. If for some reason I have to leave for a while, I need you to promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

Rebecca bristled slightly at his words. Regardless of her feelings for him, she wasn’t about to let him scold her like a child. Irritated, she remained silent, looking down at the forest floor in front of her.

“Rebecca,” his voice had become a harsh whisper. Shocked, Rebecca looked up at him. He’d stepped forward so that he was only inches away from her, his eyes filled with an intensity she did not expect. “I need you to promise me.”

“Alright,” she finally answered him, “I promise, but--”

“No buts,” Maverick said, cutting her off. He paused for a moment, searching her eyes as his face softened. “I need to know you’ll be safe if I leave. If anything were to happen to you, I’d never forgive myself.”

Rebecca felt her heart leap slightly in her chest and she longed to reach out to him. But she was afraid that her feelings would overwhelm her, that she would cross a boundary with him. Instead she nodded, “Alright, I promise.”

Maverick sighed with relief and then turned to walk back toward the house. At the last second, he reached back and grasped onto one of her hands. Giving it a swift, tight squeeze, he headed off without looking back.

Rebecca watched him disappear along the same path Faolan had taken.

“I think he likes you.”

Rebecca turned to see little Trysten leaning against a tree in front of her. He smiled proudly, his arms folded across his chest as he stared up at her.

She smiled down at him, taking strides to appear unfazed by his comment, “Were you spying?” She placed her hands on her hips, pretending to scold him.

Trysten raised his eyebrows, faking a look of shock, “Me? Spy? Never!”

Rebecca laughed, “Oh, of course not. What was I thinking?”

A mischievous grin curled up the corners of his mouth, “Which is why I wouldn’t know anything about you sneaking out of the house at night…”

It was Rebecca’s turn to look shocked, only she wasn’t faking it. Her mouth fell open and her stomach plummeted. She tried to form an answer, but panic stopped any words from escaping her mouth.

Trysten snickered as he pushed himself off of his tree and walked up to her, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Maverick.”

Rebecca released a heavy breath and her panic subsided. As far as she could tell, he didn’t seem to know that Maverick was also sneaking out at night to meet her. Then, Trysten did something that shocked her possibly even more.

Taking a step closer, he stared up at her, his face completely straight. “You should be more careful, though. If the soldiers are out there in the woods, they’ll show you no mercy if they find you, and…well, we’d all miss you if you were gone.”

Rebecca gazed down at Trysten, touched by his words. Though she’d always liked him, she’d never felt as though he’d cared much for her. A soft smile lit up her face. “I promised Maverick I wouldn’t do anything stupid. I’ll promise you the same.”

Trysten suddenly laughed, breaking the tender moment, “
You
not do anything
stupid
?” He stepped away from her, just out of her reach, and winked, “You know, you really shouldn’t make a promise you can’t keep.”

Trysten disappeared instantly as Rebecca lunged toward him, leaving her groping the air. As much as she liked the little bugger, he could be a complete pain when he wanted to.

That night, the crew had dinner together with Faolan, though Maverick was nowhere to be seen. As the evening came to a close, Rebecca made her way upstairs, taking a quick detour past Maverick’s office and bedroom. Both were dark and empty, with no sign of him.

Rebecca slowly made her way to her room, feeling an emptiness seeping into her. She had known that Maverick would need to leave again eventually, but the thought of him being out there alone and pursued by the Aillil soldiers made her sick to her stomach.

As she approached her door, she found Faolan leaning against the frame, watching her. Rebecca smiled softly at her friend. Maverick might be gone, but at least she had Faolan back to help her through the nights.

“Have you been sleeping any better?” Faolan asked. Her voice was soft, but Rebecca could hear a hint of worry in it.

“No. If anything, it’s been getting worse,” Rebecca admitted as she walked into her room and sat down on her bed. Faolan followed and sat at the opposite end.

“Are you still fighting the dreams?”

Rebecca nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest. Flashes of the nightmares ran through her head, so vivid and horrifying that she clenched her eyes shut, willing them to go away.

“Rebecca, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I don’t think you should fight them anymore. This is your gift; you need to find a way to work with it, not against it.”

“I can’t,” Rebecca’s voice had fallen to a whisper. “The dreams are too real. They’re terrifying.”

Faolan moved closer to Rebecca and placed a hand on her shoulder. Rebecca looked up at her friend, surprised by her intimate gesture. It was the first time she’d ever seen Faolan break from her ordinarily strict and aloof demeanor.

“Trust me, until you allow your gift to be a part of you, you’ll never feel whole. You’re a Truaillithe, Rebecca, which means you’re half human and half Aillil. You need to accept
both
sides of yourself. If you don’t accept your ability, it will be the ruin of you.”

They sat in silence for a moment longer, then Faolan gave her a gentle nod, stood, and made her way out of the room.

Rebecca remained curled up on her bed, giving her mind some time to process Faolan’s advice. She’d never thought of her gift as being the embodiment of her Aillil heritage. She was terrified of her dreams, hated that she had to live with them, yet the concept that she’d inherited them from her Aillil side made her feel connected to her parents in a way she’d never felt before.

So many times throughout her life, Rebecca had tried to imagine her parents. She would attempt to picture everything about them--how they looked, how they acted, what their laughter sounded like. But above all, she wondered how much she was like them. Who did she most closely resemble, her mother or her father? Which one did she inherit her personality and quirks from? None of these thoughts mattered, though. In the end, she knew they were only the wishful musings of a lonely orphan.

But now, the idea that her ability was a gift from her Aillil parent made Rebecca feel as if she finally had a true tie to her family. It was a part of her, as much as any other aspect of herself that her parents had passed down to her. Maybe Faolan was right, that in order for her to feel whole, she needed to be able to accept every aspect of who she really was.

Rebecca crawled under her sheets, setting her mind straight. Her panic threatened to break through at the edge of her thoughts, but as she took a deep breath she squeezed her eyes shut, determined. Tonight, she wasn’t going to fight her dreams, she wasn’t going to allow her fear to get the better of her. For the first time, Rebecca was going to give in to her gift.

Rebecca walked out of the tree line at the edge of her clearing. Dawn had just broken and the sun’s first rays were beginning to light up the surrounding treetops, glistening off the edges of their outstretched branches. It was cold outside--cold enough that the morning dew on the grass was frozen over.

As she scanned the opening, she saw small clouds of vapor drifting up from the middle of the small field. Someone was lying there, yet from this distance, she couldn’t quite see who.

Rebecca cautiously made her way forward, but stopped immediately when she realized that no white cloud came from her lungs when she exhaled. Nor did the frozen grass crunch beneath her feet when she stepped forward. She held her hands out in front of herself to inspect them. She looked the same as usual, she even felt the same as usual, and yet something was off.

Movement in front of her made her suddenly look up. The figure in the grass was sitting up now. Rebecca studied it for only a moment before she realized she was looking at someone all too familiar. She was staring straight at herself.

This had to be a dream. Instantly, panic began to flood her chest. Every fiber in her body shouted for her to get out, to wake herself up and free herself from whatever nightmare this might be. But she fought against her instinct. Not tonight. Not this time.

Rebecca pushed away her fear, and once again began to enter the clearing. She approached herself slowly. She rarely had a dream outside her body, but when she did, watching herself never ceased to feel indescribably strange. Tonight, she looked more peaceful than Rebecca had ever before seen herself in a dream. There was even a small smile on her face as she watched the distant sunrise light up the horizon with soft hues of pink and orange.

She’d only made it halfway into the clearing when a strange feeling made her look off into the woods on the far side. At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She was about to continue walking toward herself, when she caught sight of a small, but distinct, puff of white vapor coming out of the tree line. There was someone back there, watching.

Changing her course and picking up her pace, Rebecca headed straight toward the small white clouds of breath. Though she knew she couldn’t be seen, she approached her new target cautiously, apprehension filling her chest. She’d always been so certain that someone had been watching her in the clearing, and now she was about to find proof. Finally, she had a chance to see who it was.

Rebecca ducked into the trees about twenty feet away from where the person stood, and began slinking forward through the forest. The soft morning light cast dark shadows amongst the trees, almost fully hiding the mysterious figure from view. She could just barely detect it in front of her.

When she was only five feet away, she suddenly stopped. The shifting shadows had pulled away from the edge of the figure, revealing a green sleeve--the fabric color she’d grown to know all too well.

There was something different about this garment, however. It wasn’t cut the same way the soldier’s uniforms had been. As the light continued to shift, more of the clothing was revealed. The sleeve belonged to an intricate, figure-hugging jacket made of green leather, paired with matching slim-cut pants. The jacket’s high, rigid collar stood stiff around the slender neck of a beautiful woman. Though Rebecca couldn’t see her clearly, there was something familiar about her, as if she’d seen this woman somewhere before.

Without realizing it, Rebecca began to slowly walk forward toward the woman. She was older, possibly around 45 years old, but she was stunningly beautiful, her body long, graceful, and slender. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a taut braid that reached just below her shoulder blades, and her strong, erect stance made her appear both formidable and yet elegant.