The Sweetest Taboo (19 page)

“Yo,” Britt said, “I’m getting ready to go, but let me say something to you real quick.”

“I’m listening.”

“Understand this: You may not like me, but stay out my business.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about. You running back and telling Yuri shit about me and Troi, filling her head with a buncha shit that I don’t appreciate. I don’t know what Troi been telling you, but ain’t nothing going on. Period. So stay in your fuckin’ lane.”

Drae stood there amazed, she hadn’t thought about Troi since they last saw her at Queen of Sheba. She made a mental note to cuss Yuri out for involving her in some pillow-talk lies she was obviously telling. “After the fucking morning I’ve had, you just the excuse I need to go off! Me and you both know we been here before, Britt. Yuri may not know, but I know that you left her the last time to get back with Troi. So I know you ain’t shit! You didn’t impress me by showing up and saving her from Jeff like you Zorro and shit. Yuri is my blood, my cousin, and I’ll be damned if I’ma let you or anybody else fuck her over. Now, if you are fuckin’ the two of them, then I advise you to leave Yuri the fuck alone and let her get on with her life. Otherwise man-up, niggah, and handle your fuckin’ business ’cause the next time she gets pregnant there may not be a miscarriage. And if I ever hear that you not owning up to your responsibility, then I’ma kick yo’ fuckin’ ass my goddamn self. Now get the fuck out my face!”

“What the hell is going on here?!” Yuri was in complete shock when she walked in the door. She was carrying two bags of groceries from the local bodega. Britt took them out of her hands and kissed her on the forehead. “It’s nothing, baby, your cousin just being her wonderful self. Look, I’ma head to the studio. I need to meet with my manager, the record company wants to talk about giving me my own label imprint.” He took the groceries, set them on the kitchen island and left.

“What the hell was that about?” Yuri asked Drae as she started putting the groceries away.

“Nothing. And why the fuck you lying on me? If you tryna catch that sorry motherfucker in something, leave my name out of it!”

“What are you talking about?”

Drae started hollering and screaming, “You know what I’m talking about!”

Yuri could hear the tears in Drae’s voice. “What’s wrong with you?”

Drae held her head down and began to sob uncontrollably.

“Oh my God, Drae, sweetie, what? What’s wrong?” She ran around the counter to Drae. Yuri’s heart was racing. “I’m sorry I lied. I just wanted to see if he would admit that it was Troi who keeps calling here and hanging up. Please tell me what’s wrong.” Drae shook her head no.

“Please tell me. Is it me?”

Drae continued to sob and shake her head no.

“Sweetie, please tell me.”

Drae held her head up and wiped her eyes. “You know how, when we were younger, you always said you felt like you settled for men because you felt like no one would ever really like you…the way you were?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I always felt that I needed to find a man to save me. Like I needed to be rescued from this life.”

“What life? Rescued from what?”

“I don’t know…something…It’s just that ever since my mother died, I’ve been looking for security, for someone to take me to happily-ever-after land. And when I found Hassan I thought he came to take me.”

“And?”

“He led me to hell.”

“Oh…kay. I mean you said he was rich and this big-time director. What is it,
National Geographic
? Isn’t he what you always dreamed of? Does this have to do with you not being satisfied with where you are in life?”

“You don’t fuckin’ get it Yuri!” she screamed. “He’s a porn director. He does pornos, and he used me to do the auditions.”

Seeing the look of shock on Yuri’s face, Drae continued.

“Yes, I’ve been living a lie. There’s no fuckin’
National Geographic
shit! He makes pornos. People fuckin’ all over my house.”

“And what do you mean you’ve been doing the auditions?”

“I was fucking the people auditioning! Dammit!”

Yuri sat on the bar stool next to Drae in complete and utter shock. “What?”

“He was my husband.”

“You did what?”

“I loved him.”

“What did you just say?”

“I thought I was ridin’ for him.”

“Ridin’ where?”

“I don’t know what to do, Yuri,” she began to sob uncontrollably again. “My job was the only sane thing I had going on in my life and he took that from me. Now I have nothing, I think I’ma go crazy.”

“Your job? Did you really have a job or was that a lie?”

“Yes, I had a job, but Hassan came to my job and made a scene. I’ve been suspended, but I know they’re going to fire me.”

“Oh my God,” Yuri began to cry while hugging her. “My God.”

They sat at the kitchen island holding each other. Yuri couldn’t believe that Drae had been in so much pain and never said anything. “You have to know that you are not alone. I know we don’t have a big family, but we have each other. You understand me? I’m here for you and I don’t give a damn if we have to sleep in my car together; don’t ever feel like you have no place to go. You understand me?”

“Yes…I do.”

“I love you, girl.”

“I love you too, Yuri.”

They kissed each other on the cheeks. Yuri cooked Drae something to eat and after a few hours passed, Drae sat at the kitchen island looking out the window. Everything in Manhattan moved so fast, she wondered if she needed to go to a town where everything was slower; slow enough where she could process all her thoughts of how and why she stayed so long, why she did what she did. And how she’d fooled herself into thinking that Hassan was it.

Maybe she would be daring and go to Phoenix, but then again the heat might be too much. Maybe she could go to Atlanta, but she never liked the South. Maybe L.A. or San Fran, maybe St. Louis or Dallas or Murfreesboro, North Carolina. Just someplace, anyplace where nobody knew her and she could crawl under a rock in peace. For a moment Drae wondered: If she seduced death, would he promise to be sweet? “Listen, girl, let me get going. I didn’t mean to stress you out.”

“You sure you’re all right?” Yuri asked, surprised Drae wanted to go. “You don’t have to go.”

“No, I’m fine. I just have a friend I need to see.”

Drae knew she was taking a helluva chance showing up at Naz’s house without calling. But at this moment she needed to see his face, to find comfort in his arms. And she knew she was bouncing from one man’s arms to the next, but she wasn’t so sure she could face herself yet. After all, what explanation would she have for being in such a fucked-up situation?

Drae stood on Naz’s row-house porch and rang the bell. She could hear music playing and she could smell burning charcoal and barbeque. When she peeked over the side of the railing, she saw Naz’s daughter doing a dance and singing Bow Wow’s “Shortie Like Mine,” “Addicted to how we kick it…”

“A’ight, Sydney, calm it down.”

“I’m being a good girl, Daddy?”

“Yes, you just a lil’ excited right now.”

“That’s a good thing, Daddy?”

“Yes, Sydney.”

“Hey, lady.” She waved.

Naz peeped to see who Sydney was talking to. He was dressed in a pair of baggy jeans and a wife-beater. He held a spatula in his hand. “Somebody told me,” Drae said as she leaned over the rail, “that this fine man lived here with his beautiful daughter. And I was so hoping that I would get to see them and show ’em that I have some barbeque skills myself.”

“Is that so?” Naz smiled.

“Yeah.” Drae hunched her shoulders. “That pretty much sums it up.”

“Well”—his entire face lit up—“why don’t you come show me whatcha got? The front door is open.”

Drae couldn’t help but admire his place as she walked through. There was nothing spectacular going on: no recessed lights, vaulted ceilings or heated floors. It was simply a home with a small entranceway, stairs leading to the second floor, a blue micro-suede living-room set, a small dining room, an L-shaped kitchen and a door leading to the backyard. But it truly felt like a home.

Drae stepped into the backyard and Naz smiled at her. “What’s good, ma’?” He kissed her on the cheek.

“Nothing.”

“This is my daughter, Sydney. Sydney, this is Ms. Drae.”

They smiled and said hello to each other.

“So what brings you this way?”

“Nothing, just wanted to see you, that’s all.”

“I’m glad you did. Now, don’t think you sittin’ down. You said you got some barbeque skills and I wanna see.” He tossed Drae an apron. “You got to show me how you get down.”

“We do have a child here.”

He gave her a sinister smile. “Handle your business.”

“All right.” She laughed. “Where’s your sauce?”

“Right here.” He held up a Kraft bottle.

“Oh Lord, I’ma have to school you. My daddy always said if you don’t make it from scratch, then use Jack Daniel’s. Anyway, give it here and let me hook it up.”

“What you need? ’Cause I got it.”

“Honestly,” she sighed. “I just need a friend right now.”

Not expecting that response, Naz said with a serious face, “You got that.”

She slipped her shoes and midriff jacket off. “Now, I also need you to get me some honey, vinegar, sugar and a little milk.”

“Milk?”

“I’m not eating that,” Sydney said. “I’ll just have me some chicken nuggets.”

“Nah, Sydney,” Naz laughed. “Let’s watch Ms. Drae do her thing.”

Drae took the barbeque sauce and doctored it up. Afterward she poured it on the ribs, steaks, and burgers that he had on the grill. When they were done, she served them.

“A’ight,” Naz said, “I gotta admit this was da bomb.”

“Yeah, Ms. Drae, this was good.”

“Thank you.” She flicked Sydney on the nose. “I saw you dancing when I came up. You like to dance?”

“Yeah, I take ballet and tap classes. Did you know my daddy can dance?”

“Really?” Drae laughed. “He must be pretty good.”

“Yeah, he tap dances. He’s going to be in a Broadway show one day, right, Daddy?”

“No.”

“Daddy,” she whined.

“You tap?” Drae asked.

“A lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’,” Naz replied.

“So is that Naz’s secret? He wants to tap dance on Broadway?”

“You wanna know my secret?” he asked.

“Yes,” Drae responded.

“You sure you’re ready for it?”

“Would you just tell me!”

“A’ight. I wanna be a regular niggah. Just regular. Go to work, come home, kiss my wife, play with my kids—”

“Kids?”

“Yeah, I would like another kid. I like being called Daddy. And I wanna wife, one day. To cook for me, take her shoes off and get pregnant.” He laughed.

“Excuse me,” Drae snickered. “Mr. Daddy of a Daughter. I would think you’d want your wife doing more than that.”

“I’m just kidding. All she gotta do is be down for me.”

“Can you handle it if she is?”

“I welcome the challenge.”

“Ms. Drae,” Sydney interrupted, “can you dance?”

“I can do a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’.” She winked at Naz.

“Like what?” Naz laughed.

“Can you Wu-Tang?” Sydney asked. “Or do the Old Man, or Chicken Noodle Soup?”

“She can’t handle those, Sydney. Let’s pick another one for her.”

“Excuse you,” Drae laughed. “Everybody can’t compete with you and your little hip-hop group here.”

They laughed. “Okay, Ms. Drae,” Sydney said. “You wanna do the electric slide?”

“What about the cha-cha, Sydney?” Naz added.

“Yeah, that’s it, Daddy, let’s show Ms. Drae the cha-cha.”

Sydney put on a cha-cha slide CD and turned it up. The three of them got up and stood in the middle of the backyard. “Follow us,” Naz smiled. “The song tells you what to do.” They started dancing and it wasn’t long before Drae picked up on the dance and started doing it without any assistance.

“Now Charlie Brown!” the song sang. “Criss cross, everybody clap your hands…” And on it went until the sun started to go down.

“If nothing else,” Drae said as they started to clean up, “I’m glad I came here today.” She nodded her head toward Sydney, who’d sat in the patio chair and fallen asleep.

“Let me take her inside.” Naz carried Sydney to her bed and he came back out with a bottle of wine in his hand. “You need this?”

“Yes.” Drae grinned. “Oh yes.”

They sat down at his patio set and Naz poured them two glasses of wine. “You ready to talk?”

“No. I just need you to be here for me, please. Just be here.”

“I care about you….” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I really do.”

“Thank you.” Tears slipped from Drae’s eyes. “Thank you.”

“Can you stay for a minute?” He kissed her on the lips.

“I can stay for a couple of minutes.” She responded to his kisses.

Yuri

         Today was the first day that Yuri didn’t wake up and feel the emotional sting of losing her baby. It was also the first time since she’d left Jeff that she appreciated his not being anywhere around. There was no tension, no grunting, no wishing, no waiting or wanting to disappear. There was nothing to fuck up the atmosphere. She didn’t look around and see Jeff’s shoes all lined up perfectly, separated by color and style, and there were no Italian suits hanging meticulously in the closet separate from his jeans. For once she lived in a place where she was comfortable enough to be herself. There were no demands, no expectations, no comments about her weight; and this go-round, when she was told she had a fat ass, it was a compliment.

She looked over at Britt and silently thanked him for being everything she’d ever dreamed. She knew sex wasn’t supposed to occur for six weeks after the miscarriage, but it’d already been four and there was no way she could continue to resist. Britt lay next to her with the flat white sheet draped across his hard dick. His bare chest was like a work of art, an undiscovered masterpiece that only she’d seen and could appreciate. And his thighs looked to be drizzled in the best chocolate the world had to offer….

“I just want some,” she said to herself while sucking on the tip of her index finger. She slid the sheet back and kissed his beautiful dick. It was the best kiss she’d ever given. Slowly Britt’s eyes peeled open as he ran his hands through her hair. “Such a luscious dick, I couldn’t resist.”

He opened his eyes and gave a sly grin. “You like that dick?”

“I
love
that dick.”

“You gon’ get the pussy wet for him?”

“Uhmmm, is that what he wants?”

“Yes.”

She lay on her back and looked into Britt’s face. She took her wet index finger and circled it around her clit. Almost instantly her flesh came alive and began dripping with heat. She could feel shock waves float through her mind as she moved her fingers in a steady grind. Slowly she stroked her clit up and down, moving the tip of her finger like a tongue. Her clit started to swell.

“What does it feel like?”

“Hot…wet…and oh sooooo silky…” She quickened the pace of her fingers, dipping two into her pussy with one hand and playing with her clit with the other.

“You gon’ nut on my dick?”

“All over it.”

“You gon’ put some on my tongue?”

“You want some?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you gon’ have to eat it for yourself.”

“I want you to feed me.”

Yuri took her creamy fingers and slid them into Britt’s mouth. “What it taste like?”

“Candy, baby.” He sucked her fingers. “It taste just like candy.”

Sensing Yuri was due to cum any minute, Britt turned her around and placed her backward on his dick. He watched her ass roll back and forth, working it in and out—out and in—of her pussy. It was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. This was a classic…watching her pussy leave more and more cream on his dick as it slid up and down. He took his hands, placed them on her ass and assisted her pussy with climbing up and down his long vanilla-covered pipe.

“Welcome home, baby.” He closed his eyes and his nut exploded into her. “Welcome home.”